Fear, Recession and the Law of Attraction

If you are hearing the debates about our economy, you are probably stressed, confused, angry and afraid. This emotional toxic marsh is the perfect psychic ground for your fears to flourish. Your emotions play a key role in your capacity to activate or block the flow of the Law of Attraction. Fear blocks the flow. Faith, as a connection to The Source, activates the flow.
 
You have the power to bring your vision, as well as your needs, to the collective table. You can have a positive impact both, in your individual life and in the social solutions that are created at this time. In order to be effective, however, you need to stay open to the Universal Field of Infinite Possibilities. You must be able to access your intuitive wisdom. Fear and stress block these abilities.
 
Fear, Recession and the Law of Attraction is a series of four articles. This is Article 1. It lets you know how fear blocks your power to create change and to find solutions. It offers simple practices to release fear. See the menu for the other articles and resources at the bottom.
 
Symptoms of Fear-related Stress
At a time of financial crisis, it is normal to be afraid, specially when we are dealing with our survival and our family’s survival. This leads to us act from fear. As a result, we may suffer from:
· High levels of stress, hypertension, heart attacks, anxiety attacks.
· Insomnia.
· De-motivation, inability to concentrate, resistance to do our work.
· High levels of fear and toxic anger, frustration, shame, resentment and other pent-up emotional toxins.
· Revival of our Inner Enemies, crowding our psyche fear-based thought and feelings.
· Resurrection of old, inherited scripts about money, deprivation and poverty.
· Feelings of powerlessness that lead to depression.
· Clouded vision that does not allow us to see the big picture.
· Decisions or reactions that betray our values.
· Decisions or reactions that are not beneficial to us.
· Rushed decisions to cut our creative, spiritual and quality of life features to stick to the bare-basics, impoverishing our life even more and cutting down the sources of peace, support and self-empowerment.
· Isolation.
· Plugging ourselves obsessively to the “Bad News Media” until we are over-saturated with bad news, creating more stress and fear.
 
There is an automatic physical mechanism of fight or flee that I cal the Fear Reflex. It happens so fast that you may be unaware of it.
 
Becoming aware of the Fear Reflex and releasing it will free you from a big chunk of stress and from the mistakes that result from fear-based reactions.
 
These are the symptoms that you are in the grip of the Fear Reflex:
 
1. Your breath stops.
2. Your shoulders tense up. They move upwards and may hunch to protect your vulnerable heart area.
3. Your neck gets puffed up (inflamed). There are meridians there having to do with fear and anger.
4. You pelvis locks backwards (women) or forward (men).
5. Your head/thoughts disconnect from your body.
6. Your stomach churns and there is a dizzying spiral in your Solar Plexus.
7. Your thought processes accelerate and you dash out to take immediate action.
8. In the grip of fear, it feels that you cannot stop to think, that the world will come to an end if you do not react immediately.
 
Here are four simple things that can stop the Fear Reflex.
 
1. Deep breathing. Hold yourself still and allow your body to breath deeply. Do not push. Simply open yourself to the Breath of Life. Inhale deeply, allowing air to feel your entire torso, down to the crutch. Exhale slowly and gently. Exhalation should be at least twice as long as inhalation. Do at least 3 breathing cycles.
 
2. Release tension from your shoulders. Rotate them gently as you exhale and shake off tension from your arms. You can also rotate your neck slowly and gently.
 
3. Acknowledge the fear symptoms in your body and release them. Detach from your fear, recognizing it as a normal reaction, but not giving it power over you. Imagine that you are holding a scared child in your arms. Bring that child into your personal protection and centerness.

4. Use Peace Mantras. When you are in the grip of the Fear Reflex, you can hear the thread of fear-based thoughts, some of them very old and primal. Counteract these thoughts with Peace Mantras. Say affirmations that return you to your center. Here are a few.
a. “I release fear and embrace Peace.”
b. “There is no reason to fear. I am safe and protected under Divine Design.”
c. I return to center and act only from my highest wisdom.

5. Refuse to act from fear. The fourth article helps you take centered actions.
 
By releasing fear and stress and aligning yourself with positive vibrations, you will enjoy a feeling of well-being and peace. You will be able to sustain the free flow of the Law of Attraction as you walk through chaos. This connection to Spirit allows you to make intuitive, wise decisions for yourself, your family and humanity.

Light and Love,
Maria Mar
The Dream Alchemist

Opening of the Dream Alchemist Radio Show

Join us in the Opening of

The Dream Alchemist Radio Show

THIS SEGMENT

Open the flow of the Law of Attraction:

Alchemical Key No. 1: Be available

October 20, 2008

First Monday of the month

at 11:00PM to 12:00PM EST

(New York Time)

You’ve been praying. You’ve been wanting. You’ve been searching.

But it’s not happening.

Is the Law of Attraction one more bogus hype?

Henry Ford is quoted saying: “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”

I believe that this is true, but thinking is only half of the equation.

Logical, conscious thinking is highly overrated in this society. What people forget is that there are thoughts, beliefs and emotional programs embedded in our DNA and in our Energy Field, as well as in our unconscious mind.

What you consciously think as an adult may be your free, independent thought and will. But if your learned emotional and belief program contradicts your conscious desire, then what you think consciously cannot take shape because what you feel and believe unconsciously overrides it.

I will go beyond Ford’s words to say that you will attract what you are ready to receive. The First Alchemical Law to open the flow of the Law of Attraction in your being and in your life is Availability.

The Dream Alchemist Radio Show opens today with an inspiring, transformational journey to help you become available to what you desire.

Topic: Availability, the first Alchemical Key to open the flow of the Law of Attraction

Where: Call 712-432-3000 and enter the PIN NO. 376861#

When: Tonight, Monday October 20th, 2008 at 11PM

Who: Maria Mar

SUBSCRIBE HERE

What:

• Inspiring stories from real life
• Law of Attraction teachings
• Meditation and Cellular Journey to open your cells to be available for what you want

In this show:

• Learn easy, powerful ways to make yourself available for what you desire at a cellular, spiritual, mental and physical level.

• Enjoy a guided meditation and visualization to open a space in your cells and in your life for what you want.
  

• Call in to share your experience or ask questions. Maria is available to talk or answer your questions.

• Go to sleep in a restful, powerful vibrational state that will help you manifest your Dream.

For more information on this topic read the post blog “Do you have the key to open the flow of the Law of Attraction?”

POST QUESTIONS FOR TONIGHT’S SHOW HERE.

Subscribe now!

When you subscribe, we send you links to the recording.

To access the show, phone:

712-432-3000

Bridge No. 376861

See you there,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Making yourself available for what you want.

Are you available for what you desire?

Would you stay in the house of a hostess who has not made a loving space for you? I imagine you would not. I imagine that you would leave as soon as possible, feeling unwelcome.

In the same way, the Universe cannot send the energy of what you desire if you do not open a space for it in yourself and in your life. The first Alchemical Key to open the flow of the Law of Attraction is availability. You cannot even begin to attract what you desire if you are not available for it. The question is how do you make yourself available for what you want?

This article explores more in detail the Alchemical Key of Availability as I’ve presented in our Dream Alchemist Radio Show on October 20, 2008. If the date is already gone, you can listen to the radio show at our website. Here’s the address:

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/radioshow/archives.htm

To find out how to make yourself available, let’s examine five ways in which you make yourself unavailable for what you want.

1. You are not in the present.
The flow of the LOA, just as the waves in the Field of Infinite Possibilities, follows your attention. If your attention is not here, then the waves find themselves in a non-localized future or past. They cannot reach your present. They can only reproduce more of the past, or bring you more encounters like the ones in the past. If you want a new or better experience, you need to let go of the past. But what about the future? There are many potential futures, but they only vibrate to the frequency of the present. It’s like a tuning fork. Your potential tunes into the attention frequency of now. The present tunes-up the future. If you are focusing in the future, you may be avoiding the present. Are you scared? Are you judging and pushing yourself? Then you will tune into that type of future, and not the one you desire! In a word: unless you re-write the past in the present, you will get more of the past in the future.

To make yourself available for what you want, develop the power of your Presence. Be fully awake and present here and now. Conscious Presence takes years to develop, and you need to practice it often every day. Once you have it, however, it brings the power of the Wizard and the Alchemist to your life.

2. You are not physically present. Your thoughts take you out of your body.
Only when something is localized in time and space can it become tangible and visible in our Earth dimension. Therefore, the flow of the LOA seeks the vibrational energy pattern of your body, already localized, in order to bring you more resources and allies. Your Energy Field is made of your thoughts, beliefs, emotions and expectations. The “tighter” these are held by you every day, the more “solid” they become. They become the software that runs your flow. If your thoughts constantly take you out of your body, however, you are like a runaway hostess. You have invited the guest, and then you’ve left the house! Your attention and thoughts cannot be localized in the present, and therefore you cannot manifest, for manifestation takes place as the non-localize waves arrange themselves in a localized spot, in the present.

On top of that, consider your vibrational frequency, which is related to your emotions. This charge magnetizes what you desire. If you are always running, in the “doing” mode; if you are constantly out or your body, thinking of the next thing to do, then your cells are spinning in “fast” mode. In that mode, there is little empty space to receive new input. Not to mention the damage you do to your cells by being always “on” –give it a rest!

To make yourself available for what you desire, you need to consciously inhabit your body. Instead of trying to control your body with your mind, trying to shape it to an ideal image, listen. Your body has an organic wisdom. If you become receptive to this wisdom, you can experience the dance of your cells, understand the language of your organs, feel when there is an imbalance in your systems and experience the patterns in your Energy Field. This will allow you to heal, transform and cultivate your energy patterns to attract what you want.

3. You make no time for yourself or for what you want.
Women are trained to be “other focused.” Because of this domestication, it is likely that you feel weird or even guilty when you give yourself attention. If all your time is filled with doing things for others, talking about others, worrying about others, then you are not present to yourself in your life. Your attention is not centered in your core, in your soul. If this is happening to you, then are not opening a space for what you want in your life. You are not realizing your purpose. How can you manifest your dream, if you give it no attention, no thought, not time or space?

Women are often led to believe that we are here to nurture others. While nurturing is a gift that women bring to the community life, it is not our only destiny. There is no reason why you need to choose between love for others and love for yourself. Quite the contrary. Your self-realization and cultivation is the greatest gift you can give to your loved ones. You are here in this world to realize your full potential. It is through your own cultivation, growth and fulfillment that you give your best example and gift to the world. Open a space within your cells, consciousness and heart to receive the very energy you are summoning.

To become available for what you want, include yourself and your dream in your calendar. Take time to develop a long-term plan for your Personal Dream and goals. Create strategies and seek allies. Use as much as you can in your weekly time for your dream. Make your relationship to yourself and to your dream a priority in your calendar. Don’t leave yourself or your Soul’s purpose for whatever time is left after you take care of everyone and everything else, for there will be none, and you will be leaving yourself out of your life.

4. You make no space for what you want in your life.
Women have a beautiful gift that comes from our womb wisdom. We are inclusive. We want to nurture, to bring into our embrace those we love, to incubate their potential. That is a great power in itself. But it is often used against our own dreams. We need to stand in our center, and from that core, from our self-hood and personal dream, invite others to share our space, each in their own center.

If you find yourself not having a space to create or to simply be and take a breather, then you are stealing space from yourself, your dream and your power. You are stealing power from yourself. You may be complaining that you don’t have privacy, that others step all over you, take up your space, invade your house, call-in at all ours, talk you to death while they won’t listen, etc. Don’t blame others. You are ALLOWING this to happen. You are stealing your space and using them as excuse not to empty that space for your dream.

To be available for what you desire, create a Sacred Space for yourself. This is a priority, private, only-for-you space and time. There you can do your deep breathing and relaxation, your yoga or other relaxing, health-giving body practice, your journal writing, your thinking, your self-reflection, personal growth practices and dream strategies. Do it at least twice a week, at least 4 hours a week, at the same time and space. Book it in your calendar. Allow absolutely NO ONE in that space. Create a physically clean, warm, beautiful and comfortable space for you at that time. Close the door. Reclaim yourself.

5. You give away your power to fear.

If you allow fear to crowd your personal space, then you are closing the flow of life. Fear closes the heart and repels the blessings in the Great Mystery that is life. It puts you on guard. Defensive living closes the flow of LOA. Worry is like fear. The antidote to fear is faith. The antidote to worry is joy.

Opening your cells to be available for what you want is a cleansing. You release what crowds your Energy Field and mind, whether it is worry, fear, caretaking, rush, overthinking, overworking or selflessness. You make yourself empty so that you can become pregnant with your dream. Then your dream becomes part of your Energy Field, part of your DNA and your cells, part of your daily thoughts and feelings. It will soon begin to take shape in your life.

If you recognize that there is no space for the flow of the LOA to alight or for the energy of what you desire to take shape in your environment, it is time to open that space. Breathe deeply. Empty yourself. Relax, dance, sing, and trust that the Universe is on your side. Celebrate yourself and your life. Make yourself available for your Dream!

For more information on releasing fear, you may want to subscribe to Catch the Dream Express mailing list. You will get an immediately downloadable inspirational ebook. I will send you a notice when the “Free from Fear!” Ceremonial Kit is ready.

I invite you to make a space in your life to become available. Take an hour to go in a journey to open a space in your cells for what you desire. Here’s the audio again.

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/radioshow/archives.htm

Leave your comments or questions here. I answer them weekly. Blessings.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Book Review: Love your Body, Love your Life

BOOK REVIEW

by Maria Mar

the Dream Alchemist

 

BOOK: Love your Body, Love your Life:

5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidentially

AUTHOR: Sarah Maria

 

 

Why is the Dream Alchemist reviewing this book? Why should I read it?

There is a lot of talk about “having a Dream” and manifesting it. The Law of Attraction has become almost an obsession in our popular psyche. But as a manifestation expert and shaman, I can assure you that “having a dream” is the easiest way to miss it. There is only one way to manifest your dream, and that is to BE your Dream. To embody it.

How can you embody your dream, however, if you are out of your body?

When you reject your body because it is not the perfect “ideal” body that you’ve come to believe you must have, then you are evicted from the first territory of your physical existence. Your body anchors you in the physical world. Negative Body Image throws away that anchor and evicts you from your body into the shadowlands of self-loathing.

Your body is intimately connected to your Soul, the holder of your Dream. Without your BodySoul, you have no compass to manifest your dream. You may try hard, do a lot, recite affirmations and try to change your thoughts. But nothing will work. Your actions are empty shells without power. Why?

Because the power that animates your intent is not there. Your Intent is the bow that sends the arrow of your Dream into the world. Your Intent comes from your BodySoul.

Reclaiming your love for your self is the first step to reclaim the power of your intent. Reclaiming your love for your body is the basic step to love yourself.

What is so hot about this book? Will I like it?

Sarah Maria’s “Love Love your Body, Love your Life: 5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidentially” is a soul-awakening journey to reclaim the love for your body and for yourself.

What I like about Sarah Maria’s book is that it addresses and integrates all the essential aspects in reclaiming your body: mind, emotions, body and spirit. The book inspires and motivates you. This enables you to activate the deep reserve of wisdom and courage in your spirit. It ignites the intuitive and instinctual power of your body. Then Sarah Maria guides your mind through simple, down to earth explanations and exercises. She addresses the transformational power of your emotions through stories and attitude shifting exercises.

We are all shapeshifters. We have the power to shift our reality. But in this society, we are using this power against ourselves: trying to shapeshift into something or someone else in order to deserve happiness or to fulfill our dreams.

Sarah Maria’s book allows you to use your shapeshifting power to liberate yourself, to BE you. This allows you to live from that real, unique and joyful place called YOU. Once you are there, you don’t need to have the dream because you ARE the dream!

Here’s another reason to get this book now:

I love this book so much that I contributed a gift ebook to Sarah Maria’s special “Rapid Success Gift Package” — a package of bonuses from experts who will help you to manifest the life you want. Sarah Maria added about 165 expert products that you can obtain free when you purchase THIS WEEK. (Week starting November 2, 2009)

Recommended:

**** 4 stars= Excellent read and excellent transformational tool

Read more about the book or purchase it at:

http://www.sarahmaria.com/

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You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Dance with the Music of Life

Hi, beautiful sisters and brothers,

In this 3-part blogging series, I reflect on the rhythms of our lives. I use three popular rhythms or experiences of music to help you explore how you can entrain with the music of life. By bringing yourself into harmony with that music, you are able to stop rushing, pushing and grating against the grain of time. Instead, you can begin to flow effortlessly towards your dreams, living fully and joyfully.

The first part, entitled “Soul Means Deep, Slow and Close to the Heart,” examines the obsessive-compulsive addiction with time and goals that keeps us alienated from our deepest personal truth and from the compass of our BodySoul. In this part, I use the rhythm of Soul, not only Soul as  the music genre, but other soulful rhythms such as Cante Jondo (Flamenco) and Bolero, to help you slow down and reach deep into yourself to enrich your experience of the present.

In the second part, entitled “Salsa Means Spice,” I remind you that life is to be lived in the now, to be enjoyed physically, to be danced with passion. I invite you to give yourself permission to be happy. Nothing like Salsa to get you laughing, moving your hips and enjoying the spontaneity of your being-in-joy. Step up to the pulse of life!

In the third part, entitled “Waltz Through Walls,” I reveal how the subtle power of harmony, embodied by Waltz, can free the vast force of your Infinite True Self, who is one with the Universe. I give you some steps to dissolve the illusion we call “obstacles.” I also let you know how waltzing through life expands your grace, allowing you to float effortlessly with the flow of affluence, with the winds of love.

Stay tune. I’ll post links to the three parts here, as I publish them:

Part 1: Soul Means Deep, Slow and Close to the Heart

Part 2: Salsa means Spice

Part 3: Waltz Through Walls

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com

PS: If you receive this through the email, you will get each part as it is posted.

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You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Relationships and Prosperity

Relationships and Prosperity

By Maria Mar(c)

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships.

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships because wealth is created as the result of an exchange between people.

What did you learn to expect from strangers? Do you expect others to value you, to remunerate you justly and joyfully, and to trust you?

Or did you learn to expect betrayal, to be cheated or undervalued? Do you expect others to receive you or to reject you?

Carefully examine your expectations about relationships, and you will find the core of your issues with prosperity.

Shifting Beliefs

Here’s a journal writing exercise to help you. Print it and paste the copy in your journal, for easy following.

STEP 1: PREPARATION
Begin with sitting comfortably, your journal and pen in front of you. Breathe deeply and slowly, allowing the air to travel deep into your trunk, all the way down to your lower belly, and exhale as slowly as possible. Do this five times, each time releasing stress from your shoulders, back and face.

STEP 2: INTENTION
Say these words inwardly in your last inhalation, paying attention to each one. Then say them out loud in exhalation, again listening to the sound attentively.

“I welcome the truth of my emotions as guides to my freedom and prosperity. I intend to create new, free ways of connecting to others in the streams of affluence of life.”

STEP 3: EXPECTATIONS
Keep breathing slowly and deeply, allowing the breath to connect you to your body and feelings, as you answer the questions below.

“What do I expect from people, especially those who don’t know me?”

Make a list of a minimum of two and a maximum of five items. Keep the answers short and to the point. Leave ten spaces between each item.

EXAMPLES:

• I expect people to judge me.
• I expect people to see my flaws and find me deficient.
• I expect potential clients to find my prices too high.
• I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.

STEP 4: BELIEFS

Come back to each item.  In breath, ask the second question.

“What belief creates this expectation?”

Write the answer below each item. Again, try to define the belief as simply and exactly as possible.

EXAMPLES:

• Expectation: I expect people to judge me.
• Belief: I am guilty of something bad and people will find me out.
• Expectation: I expect people to see my flaws and find me deficient.
• Belief: I am not good enough to be loved.
• Expectation: I expect potential clients to find my prices too high.
• Belief: People do not appreciate my true value.
• Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
• Belief: I am not that special.

STEP 5: INHERITANCE

Breathing deeply and slowly, go back to each item and track down from whom and how did you learn this. It may be a family belief that has been passed on through generations verbally or non-verbally. It may be a class, race or cultural belief. It may also be a conclusion you made as a child observing your circumstances. Define the source of each expectation/belief without either blaming or excusing those involved, including you. Skip a line, and place your discovery on the third line below each item, like this:

• Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
• Belief: I am not that special.

• Source: My mom always said “Who do you think you are? You are not that special?” She meant to say that I was not above others, but there was also a hidden message that I did not deserve better than others. In my Inner Child’s heart, this voice resonates as “You are not that special.”

STEP 6: ACTIONS

Go back again to each item and recall one habitual action that you do in relationships that responds directly to this belief. Remember to breathe deeply and slowly and honor your emotions. Write the action in the fourth line under the item.

• Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
• Belief: I am not that special.

• Source: My mom always said “Who do you think you are? You are not that special?” She meant to say that I was not above others, but there was also a hidden message that I did not deserve better than others. In my Inner Child’s heart, this voice resonates as “You are not that special.”

• Action: I forget to bring my business cards and I am always apologizing for not having them, that way I have an excuse for why they won’t call me.

STEP 7: FREE CHOICE

Examine the belief and decide whether you are ready and willing to release it.

Once you make the choice, close your eyes. Shift your perception of yourself to your Sacred Self, who is larger than your physical or ego self, and who is one with God.  See that small self with compassion and love. Allow a smile to come from within, as you realize the childlike mistake of these beliefs. From that place, inhale forgiveness and exhale release. Do these three times.

• Inhale as you wrap yourself in forgiveness.
• Exhale as you release the old beliefs.

STEP 8: NEW BELIEFS

write down a new belief to substitute each old belief. Skip a line. Write in caps the title “NEW BELIEF” and then write the new belief

It is a fact that there is no other human being like me. My fingerprints are unique. My DNA is unique. My personal history is unique and I am a unique, special and wonderful expression of divinity.

STEP 9: CONSCIOUS LIVING

During the next 30 days, observe yourself in relationships. Catch yourself doing the old actions and methodically shift to the new actions that reflect and nurture your new beliefs.

Remember that these beliefs were implanted in you very early on, when you did not have the experience or ability to discern. They have been embedded through years of practice. Be compassionate with yourself when you respond from the old beliefs, and kindly, but firmly repeat your new belief to yourself and keep choosing the new actions.

Celebrate when you respond from your new beliefs. Your subconscious is like a child. It responds to positive feedback. Focus on the times you do it right and never judge or belittle yourself when you respond from the old beliefs.

Your evolution is not a project. It is process. Patience with yourself nurtures your self-love.

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You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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The Angel of Trust Speaks

This is the Angel of Trust speaking. Here is its message:

The Angel of Trust speaks

Trust your vision. It is God’s masterpiece painted inside your eyes.

Trust your desire. It is God’s song ringing in your heart.

Trust your passion. It is God’s dance whirling in your belly.

Trust your courage. It is God’s strength dashing through your blood.

Trust your Faith. It is God’s certainty rising from your bones.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this post in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Are you a toxic magnet?

Are you a Toxic Magnet? By Maria Mar(c)2009 Excerpt from Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course Are you signaling toxic people that you are a willing prey? The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit Are you an unwilling, unconscious magnet for toxic people? If you often find yourself dealing with toxic people or if the effects of toxic encounters affect you more and for a longer time than they affect others, then you may be a Toxic Magnet. Just because you have a couple of toxic relationships that need addressing or because you know some toxic people does not mean that you are a Toxic Magnet. Toxic people are everywhere. You are bound to meet a couple of every month, at least. Whether you hook up with them or not is another matter. But if you often suffer from the anxiety, emotional torture and negative drama that toxic people generate, then you may want to examine if you are a Toxic Magnet. This mini self-assessment is an excerpt from Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them, a digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course that helps you understand, transform and release the toxic relationships in your life. To establish your Primary Emotional Response Pattern, in the list below, check any feelings that arise from your toxic encounter. Address one encounter at a time. SECTION A ___  I keep thinking that I’ve done something wrong and keep trying to come up with another way of responding, but everything fails. ___   I feel guilty when I tell the person how I feel or when I set limits. ___  I feel hurt and sad. I want the person to tell me that she loves me and accept me as I am. SECTION B ___    I want to win. I want her to apologize and accept that she is wrong. I keep bring up evidence and arguments, but she won’t give in. ___    I feel trapped and frustrated. I can’t find a way to get a win-win solution. Everything I say is misinterpreted and I am at the end of my wit. ___    I wrap myself in patience and try to address each complaint. But the complaints never seize and it’s frustrating. SECTION C ___    I feel that I am more mature and healthy than this person and should be able to address the situation in an effective way. ___    I allow the person to rant and rave or do her acting out. I feel like a mother waiting for a kid to finish a tantrum. ___    I speak to her as to a child, softly and calmly. I listen attentively and then ask questions. SECTION D ___    I feel exhausted. I am drained of all energy. I feel unable to continue with this dynamic, and at the same time, I am scared of what she might do if I do not continue. ___    My overwhelming feeling is fear. Fear that I may be fired, that I will be judged, that I will be exposed or hurt. I feel intimidated. ___    I can’t find my voice. I want to scream or confront the person, but I get a lump in my throat. SECTION E ___    I want to go away and avoid the whole thing because it causes too much anxiety. ___    I go away emotionally. I feel frozen or paralyzed or simply disappear and show up when it’s all over. ___    I am shocked. I can’t believe it. It all becomes a blur. Look at the section that has the most checks. That’s your Primary Emotional Response Patterns. Section A= Defective Section B=Fixer Section C=Saint Section D=Follower Section E=Sleepwalker Types of Toxic Magnets We humans are complex beings. Once you have dived into the infinite layers of the subconscious, you learn that we are as vast as all universes existing throughout eternity. Therefore, the types that are presented in this self-assessment barely scratch the surface of your Toxic Magnet behaviors and beliefs. Furthermore, you will rarely fit only in one Toxic Magnet Type. However, recognizing your Primary Emotional Responses allows you to spot how a specific toxic person or situation triggers a specific type of Toxic Magnet response in you. Since you cannot change the other, but you can change your responses, this information empowers you to change the responses that keep you hooked in the Toxic Dance. Section A: The Defectives If you checked a majority of items in Section A, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Defectives. The Defectives secretly feel defective, damaged, less than others or insufficient. They seek to gain value by giving, being good, serving others, placating or appeasing or by playing second best. If you fit this profile, this does not mean that you ARE defective. It means that the Ugly Duckling is alive somewhere in your psyche, stealing the majestic Swan you truly are. This hooks you up with toxic people, who are big blamers. Their blaming triggers your secret feelings of not being enough and keeps you hooked in the Toxic Dance. Section B: The Fixers If you checked a majority of items in Section B, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Fixers. The Fixers need something or someone to fix in order to distract themselves from their own issues. They have inherited an emotional belief that they cannot be loved unless they give others what they want, unless they are needed, in control or perfect. If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a control freak and want to fix everyone ―though this may also be true. It means that when a toxic person complaints or blame others or a situation for their actions, you get hooked trying to solve the problem and that fixing obsession keeps you in the Toxic Dance. Section C: The Followers If you checked a majority of items in Section C, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Followers. The Followers learned to blend with the wall paper in order to avoid conflict or abuse. They focus on others to gain their support and avoid decisions, risks or responsibility. They are afraid to assume their power or leadership or to speak their truth. If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a coward who is easily bullied. It means that when a toxic person displays intimidating behavior, you may be unable to stand up to this person. You may freeze, lose your voice or give in to avoid conflicts. By giving in, you stay in the Toxic Dance. Section D: The Saints If you checked a majority of items in Section D, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Saints. The Saints believe that they have to sacrifice in order to deserve a place in the world. They also believe that to gain heaven or spiritual evolution, they need to sacrifice their own desires, happiness and sometimes even their wellbeing. If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a goody-two-shoes who can’t stand up for herself. It means that when a toxic person trespasses your personal boundaries, you are going to use inappropriate compassion to enable their inappropriate behavior. By sacrificing your personal needs and not prioritizing your own feelings and desires, you get pulled into the Toxic Dance Section E: The Sleep-walkers If you checked a majority of items in Section E, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Sleep-Walker. The Sleep-Walkers “go away” at the least sign of danger, confrontation or risk. They may do this by disconnecting emotionally or mentally from the situation, literally leaving, “switching off” or using an addictive behavior or substance. If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE Sleeping Beauty personified ―though you should track down how pervasive this reaction is in your life. It means that when a toxic person discharges their toxic energy or creates conflicts, you will not be able to take effective action because you will fall into the sleeping trance, which keeps you in the Toxic Dance. I hope that in recognizing the role you may play in attracting, hooking up with or allowing the toxic behavior, you have realized to what measure you may be a Toxic Magnet. In the measure in which you avoid your responsibility and are afraid of assuming your Personal Power, in that measure you become a Toxic Magnet. In the measure in which you are not willing to see what you see, in which you avoid the truth and try to change, appease or follow others to avoid confrontation, in that same measure your become a Toxic Magnet. In the measure in which you see what you see, take responsibility for your choices and assume your Personal Power, in that same measure you signal to toxic people that you are not prey. In the measure in which you honor your truth, release control over others and stand as your self-authority, in that same measure you are free from the hooks and attachments that keep people in the Toxic Dance. The END Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment. If you receive this in an email, click here to leave your comment. ______________________ TWEET THIS! Recommend this blog post in a tweet, by clicking below. Click Here. Click button below to email this to a friend or share it in your favorite social media. _____________________________ You can use this article in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link: Maria Mar(c)2009. Maria Mar is a writer, inspirational speaker and poet, a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman. Maria helps people understand and release toxic relationships in the Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course

To succeed you must hire yourself

Last week a visitor asked the following question:

“I just found your site and appreciate what you have on here. I a network marketer, but haven’t yet experienced the success I want in it. Your obsession vs focus interview is great for me and something I will keep mulling over. I am looking for direction in building belief in myself and my business. I hesitate to talk to others about it because I think, they have a good job, or good business, why would they want this or listen to me. I do think I have a unique (better) business plan, and products. So I think it must rest in my belief in me. Suggestions?”

DREAM ALCHEMIST’S ANSWER:

Starting today and for a year, consider yourself on a Journey of Success. This quest is not a race. Observe that I did not call it a Journey TO Success, but a Journey OF Success. It is not even a project. It is an adventure, an expedition. In this exciting journey, you want to enjoy the landscape. You want to visit its inhabitants and admire its beauty. You want to learn the language and understand the culture of the people.

The landscape you will meet in this journey is really an inscape. It is the Inscape of your Affluence. You will travel inside your underground relationship to affluence. I like this word for three reasons.

1. It looks beyond money. I believe that focusing on money when we want prosperity is like focusing on easting pasta when we really want to visit Italy. Money is great, but it is a tiny detail in the big picture of affluence.

2. It comprehends the many aspects of abundance and prosperity, including our attitude.

3. It comes from the Latin root “Fluere”, to flow. It includes the flow of the Law of Attraction and the flow of abundance in the universe.

I am going to give you 4 start-up gifts for your journey.

The first one is this post.

The second one is a post called “Prosperity or Poverty: Choose your Mirror.”

The third one is a post called “Raising your Prosperity Ceiling.”

The fourth one is a shamanic journey meditation called “Shifting the World for instant manifestation.“

Put these traveling tools in your suitcase as you begin your Journey of Success. During this entire year you will be on a ceremony that connects you with your Higher Powers. This is what I recommend you do:

1. Begin every morning with Gratitude.
   When you place your feet on the floor, say your version of the following:
   “Thank you for this new day of affluence in all aspects of my life.”
2. Show appreciation in every meal by blessing it and naming its healing power. For example: “Thank you for this oatmeal that makes my heart strong.”
3. Every night, light a candle and ask for help and guidance in your dreams. At that time, you can be guided with the least resistance and can receive enlightenment, powerful images to decode your unconscious, shifts of consciousness and much more. Go to bed in a receptive, listening mode with a peaceful expectation that you will be helped and guided. Keep a dream journal.

In between these tasks, during the day, I want you to track down the following elements, and write everything in a journal that you examine one day a week, on the same day and hour, as part of the year-long quest.

MONTH NO.1

Ascertain your Soul’s Purpose

Track down the level of enthusiasm and passion you feel for what you do as a network marketer and for your website. Compare it to the things that make you the happiest and bring you the greatest satisfaction.

Let’s say that caring for your dog is something that fills you with love and satisfaction. It’s one of the things that you most love to do. Then that’s a 10. Compared to that, how much enthusiasm and passion does your website and marketing job elicits?

Keep an eye for situations that let you know about what elicits your enthusiasm, how you feel and what you attract.

This is a key research that precedes any other. You need to know if you are fulfilling your Soul’s purpose doing this. Your joy, enthusiasm, satisfaction and passion are your thermometer for this.

I suspect that you have been focusing on success by looking outward: where the money is, where your market may be, what you may or may not be doing. While these things are great, they are not the source. Your new approach is a great intuition. Focus inward.

To succeed, you must hire yourself. To hire yourself, you must believe in yourself.

But you cannot “make” yourself believe in yourself if what you are doing is not what you came here to do and is not something you LOVE to do and something that makes you feel GOOD about your contribution to the world. You can’t fake belief. It comes from your Soul and it is the state of your Essence.

MONTH NO. 2

Track down unconscious programming

Understand this: your conscious desires cannot be manifested at their maximum potential if there is an unconscious programming to the contrary.

Our conscious mind runs from1% to 5% of our lives. Our subconscious runs the rest. There are deep-seated programs there with  beliefs and perceptions learned very early on. There are layers of personas, called Shadow Selves and Wounded Selves carrying these learned beliefs. There is an Emotional Undertow of muddy, toxic emotions connected to these beliefs. If you stay in the surface, life may seem easier. But you will not be able to track down the formidable forces that are pulling you down and under, away from your goals and dreams.

For more information on this, visit Dr. Bruce Lipton’s office. I recommend his book, The Biology of Belief. Here’s the website:

http://www.brucelipton.com/

The conduit to the subconscious is the BodySoul Compass. Use breath, visualization and shamanic journey or meditation to get in touch with your underworld. Once you find out the hidden  layers of beliefs that sabotage you, you can then use Energy Healing and visualization to remove those programs and implant your own desires in your subconscious. This is an ongoing process for your year-long adventure.

To access any issues that may be sabotaging your prosperity, visit this page:

http://www.psych-k.com/pages/prosperity.php

MONTH 3

Release the Dam within

The source of prosperity is your connection to the River of Affluence, the abundant flow of abundance in the universe.These river is ongoing. The Universe is a dynamic self-healing, self-nurturing, self-expanding ocean of energy.

But sometimes, for the reasons explained above, we have unconscious blocks that create a dam. That’s when the river cannot reach us, showering us with the abundance of the universe.

My first instinct with you is that it is blocked at the level of passion and uniqueness. Uniqueness does not mean better. It means that what you offer is blessed with YOUR presence, gifts and talents. Whether this uniqueness block is due to the fact that you are in the wrong track or to unconscious programming, or both –the effect is going to be easily seen in your life and your business offers.

Look at your website and other marketing tools. Is this a pleasurable, exciting, welcoming, delicious, “oh-so-you” invitation to your potential clients? Or is this more of the same marketing language and colors find anywhere? Why should anyone come here to shop?

Would you? Why?

For help with freeing your uniqueness, accessing the sources of self-sabotage and expressing your uniqueness in your business and website, consider coaching with me at:

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/coaching.htm

MONTH 4

Expression Make-over

In our result-driven society we often think that “believing in the self” is simply about the right angle, the right “rap.” We see words and actions as things to be manipulated for an end.

Your words and actions are an expression of who you are. They are your unique creation. This creation has the power to create your world, a world unlike any other. This is what genius and originality is all about.

• Know yourself.
• Love who you are.
• Express who you are with joy and passion.
• Express your love and passion in what you do.
• Connect with like-hearted people to grow this love collectively.

Your words are the expression of your inner world, which in turn creates your outer world. How are the words you use to market expressing your inner world? Your values? Your personality? Your causes? Your passion? What world are they creating?

Observe how you write and talk about your service to others; not only clients, but friends. What words you use? What expressions you use? How do you feel about them? Ask your friends if they feel curious or motivated to check out your products after you talk to them like that. Ask them if they are clear on this:

Why do YOU provide this service? Notice the emphasis on YOU. Your friends know who you are and what you care about. Does this service and the way you present it match who you are?

If they feel that it doesn’t, ask them to help you brainstorm some new phrases that are more like you. Perhaps you are sassy. Then your approach should reflect that in snappy, funny comments. Perhaps you are elegant. Then that should come across.

Of course, if you have realized that the reason you are not successful is because this is not really what you want to do, the journey here goes into finding what you LOVE to do and how to generate affluence from it.

Meditate deeply on your purpose. What do you want to bring into your clients’ life? What are your gifts? Don’t just talk marketing rap. Be REAL!

MONTH 5

Design for success

Now that you know if you are doing what you are supposed to do and you’ve hired yourself to do it by bringing your true self to shine in your words and marketing text, it’s time to bring this passion into the visual aspects of it.

It is time to look at your website, blog or anything else that is the container of your offer.

Does it have your branding? There’s a lot of talk about branding. But this is the way I see it from my shamanic perspective. Is your presence here? Can I connect to you and trust you? Does it sing your Power Song, your unique, beautiful, joyful passionate song expressing who you are and offering your unique gifts?

I see a LOT of ugly websites out there. I know that they are following marketing “rules” –but they are UGLY! They turn me off. I want to run out of there. They are impersonal, cold, pushy, difficult to read and scream “GIVE ME YOUR MONEY and get out of here!”

As a designer, I am always curious. Why are so many webmasters using black backgrounds when they have zero degree of readibility? Why do they make everything so square? Especially if the owner is a woman or is marketing to women. We love curves!

Why are they stuck on black, white, red or some beige tones? Did someone die in this cyberspace? Color is passion. Look at nature. Get inspired. Express your passion and uniqueness through color.

What do you want your visitors to feel when they reach your website? Enthusiasm? Clarity? Peace? Renewal and energy? Then seek the colors and lines that will make this happen. Think outside the box.

Take time to strategize on how you can bring your presence to your marketing containers. As I am a designer also, here are several clues.

• Colors
• Lines and curves
• Your photo, looking at the visitor, smiling or laughing or in any other appropriate attitude that says YOU! People don’t buy from websites. They buy from people. Put your face up there, so I can see you.
• Your voice up front, telling me in your own sassy, elegant or sweet voice why I am special to you and how you take care of me in this shopping experience, etc. Audio is nice, but it can be your written words carrying your voice and speaking directly and lovingly to me.

Five months have gone by. The entire course of your life may have changed. If not, now you are clear on your life’s purpose and how to convey it uniquely. You are working with any hidden programming that sabotages you, opening the flow of abundance from within. Your website and marketing language now express your personal power and uniqueness, connecting to others. What’s next?

Now begins your easiest and hardest task.

MONTH 6

Open yourself to receive.

You may laugh. But I assure you that in my work as a spiritual teacher, shaman and life coach I have found that MOST people have problems receiving. I see people working very hard, almost to exhaustion, for blessings that they cannot receive. They will repel the very thing they prayed for. They will work hard, but let it pass them by.

We desperately need to learn how to receive.

Allow the River of Affluence that constantly runs through all of life to run through you, to bathe you in prosperity and to run through you into the world, bringing beautiful gifts to others.

Let go of pushing, effort, hardship and struggle.

Allow. Receive. Release. Enjoy.

Repeat these mantra like a chant all day long.

“I receive the affluence that is already streaming througth me. I receive, allow and enjoy it.”

In the process of practicing these powers, which –by the way– are gifts from your Shakti Power, the Goddess and Female Force in you, you will attract streams of afluence. Be awake. Recognize opportunities. Be open.

Allow. Receive. Enjoy.

After these first six months, you will see an increase in affluence and you will know what to do next.

Here is my blessing:

May your heart open like a sunflower to receive the light and passionate life force of the Source of affluence in your life, as it shines now and always.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

If you need more help, consider benefiting from my personal coaching services. Find out more at: http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/coaching.htm

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Maria Mar(c)
You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

Prosperity or Poverty: Choose your Mirror

Prosperity or Poverty: Choose your Mirror By Maria Mar©2009 A visual storytelling journey to dispel the thieves of your prosperity. The meeting got complicated. It would take much of the day. We broke for lunch and I hurried to the bathroom. There I met a fascinating woman. As our lunch hour coincided, we had lunch together in the building’s ground-level cafeteria. art by Maria Mar(c)2009. No reproduction, copy/paste allowed. I felt that a strong, peaceful connection had brought us together and was very curious as to the purpose of this encounter. We began to talk with ease. I was pleasantly surprised when I realized that Lillianne* was a spiritual catalyst whose inspired writings I had read once when I somehow clicked on a link to her blog. I recalled that she was a wise woman with an extraordinary capacity for deep reflection into the mysteries of existence. In her beautiful writings, I had appreciated her thorough understanding of the Law of Attraction. I especially admired her awareness of how we create our own universe with our thoughts, emotions and choices. Lillianne and I talked passionately for a while about these topics, which we both loved. But even through the lightness of this lovely conversation, I could feel that a heavy silence weighed on her. Finally, Lillianne could not contain her anguish any longer. She burst out into tears. The Empty Hands “I am so scared!” she stuttered between sobs. “I have reached the bottom. I don’t understand how this is happening to me. Ten years ago, I began my own business. You may not believe it looking at me now, but I have earned thousands of dollars in a week. I have charged clients in an hour more than what I am making daily in this job.” Lillianne was trying hard not to burst into tears again in the crowded cafeteria. We left the noisy place and took refuge in a small lobby, where a sofa nested inside a niche was conveniently hidden by a group of tall palms and other potted plants. We sat, wrapped in heavy silence, now broken only by some quiet sobs. Lillianne stared at her empty hands. I remembered a time in which I also stared at my empty hands. I had lost everything I had in a bizarre housing disaster. I had to leave all my art and tools, my clothing and most of my possessions behind. I had no idea where I would go. As I recovered my health in a friend’s guest room, I had stared at my hands, empty after so many years of giving the best of my creativity. In the deeply carved lines, I had read my past. I faced the war I waged against money. I recognized how I spent it as soon as I got it, as if it burned my hands. I realized that I had not created financial structures, strategies or goals in my life. It was a brutal encounter with realities that I had disregarded for most of my adult life. This disregard had lead to that moment, in which I had no emergency money or financial alternatives to recover from this crisis. “Is this a lesson I must learn? Am I being cleansed of ego?” Lillianne asked abruptly. Her voice reminded me of a little girl who has been punished and is trying to understand what she did wrong. But there was someone else in that voice: the punisher herself, flagellating Lillianne in each of her questions. Only for Love “I was so broke that I had to place a PayPal button in my blog. Imagine? I had to ask my subscribers for donations!” Lillianne said, as if that was the ultimate perversion. Lillianne was thankful that her 10,000 subscribers had sent her so many blessings and kind words and had given her generous donations, which kept her afloat for about a month. But her monthly obligations had to be met, and she had finally caved in. Her eyes were wide with terror. “I admit that my relationship with money has not been good. There’s a lot of guilt attached to it. I played the starving artist for most of my youth. And now, it appears that I am playing the starving guru,” she whispered with a faint smile. Lillianne exhaled a pain-ridden sight that traveled through my bones. I tried to piece together the two opposite images I was receiving from the same woman. Lillianne had shared that her subscribers were very active and often responded to her articles. During our conversation in the cafeteria, she had told me, with badly concealed pride, that her subscribers had suggested that she charge a subscription fee for the blog. When she refused, some suggested that she offer an upgraded service, with more support and inspiration, for a monthly fee. Lillianne had refused to do that, too. “I am not doing this blog to get money,” Lillianne had said, almost angry. “This is for love. To inspire.” I had assumed then that she had devised other means of earning money. After all, she had coached corporations and organizations and had impressive recommendations about her work. Now, however, I realized that this Rich-Wise-Woman had not created a strategy to earn money. Instead, she had fed her “Poor-but-Good” Shadow Self. The War Against Money As I handed Lillianne some tissues, I asked her how she had planned to earn money from the time she invested in her blog. “No, not from the blog,” she insisted. “I don’t want to charge for that.” “I got that,” I replied as gently as I could. I did not want Lillianne to think that I was blaming or judging her. Quiet the contrary. I strongly empathized with her. I had similar Personal Medicines to Lillianne. It followed that I had been given similar emotional wounds in which to hide ―and find― these Medicines. “But you have a business, don’t you?” I softly asked. “What monetization strategies do you have for your business?” “I sell products,” Lillianne said defensively. As I had a laptop, she asked me to open it and soon she was showing me her products. “I have two books, two CDs and several other products,” Lillianne showed me with a trickle of enthusiasm. I could see that she had put a lot of love in these products. I could also see that she sold them piece-meal, without a sense of a system or philosophy that integrated them and added the value of her unique offering. “But the sales trickle in and do not even cover the business expenses,” Lillianne concluded, as she clicked out of her “Store” tab and into her “About Lillianne” tab. In her biography, Lillianne had gone into a lengthy monologue about life. I liked her style to a point, because I could hear her voice. But I had no idea of what she could do for me, what her services where, what system of philosophy, if any she had, and what her unique offer was to me. She had wrapped herself in her beautiful, creative words, but remained a lonely island separated from her products and from her capacity to satisfy the growing needs of her readers. Little by little, I got a picture of Lillianne’s business. Her blog was a plain template with not as much as a header. There was no branding there. I could not get a sense of who she was or the uniqueness of her gifts. Having felt her warmth and caring love, it seemed a pity that these qualities were not reflected in her blog. She had no social media presence or links and no adsense or google ads. She had no affiliate program, so she could not earn income through joint venture partnerships and affiliate sales, either. Why had Lillianne refused her clients’ request? Why hadn’t she created a paid monthly support, even though they had expressed their need for this? It wasn’t that hard to create protected blog pages for paying subscribers, and she could still delivered the free access pages she was writing now. Her clients were ready and eager to participate in deeper conversation, to receive her guidance. Instead, Lillianne had continued her long-lasting conversation with the world in her blog, refusing to monetize her writings. Not for Sale A light bulb turned on. I understood too well Lillianne’s resistance. I had been given a devastating message as a teenager, when my mom stopped giving me lunch money so that I would not stay in college for rehearsals. That was her way of trying to stop me from pursuing my acting career. This had also been the beginning of my eating disorders, as I had stayed for rehearsals, forsaking lunch and dinners for days on a row, until I was severely undernourished. The price for self-loyalty, I had learned, was poverty. That had been the beginning of a war between creativity and prosperity. This war went on for decades during my adult life. I knew from experience how insidious this polarity could be. In the ten years of healing my issues with money, I had tracked down how deeply and invisibly one can sabotage one’s prosperity in the most absurd ways without even realizing it. It came as no surprise to me, then, that Lillianne had not charged for her creative, spiritual writings. I could now touch the heart of the matter. I found Lillianne’s tiny orphan-self, hiding behind her wise words. She was a little girl seeking belonging, giving endlessly of her vast gifts in an effort to be loved. Lillianne was not valuing her wisdom as a service that she gave to others for their benefit. She had written some words in her blog that said this. But she was not living it. She did not believe it. Perhaps when she went to a corporation and did a workshop she saw herself as giving a service. But not from her Essence, not from her writings ―from her creativity. In her eyes, to use her words as a service and charge for it would have been to betray her soul. Lillianne’s underground orphanhood and her war with money were sabotaging her life’s purpose. The Cloak of Ghosts Lillianne had not released the Cloak of Ghosts. Many of us inherit this heavy mantle of learned beliefs and toxic emotions from our elders. It is passed to us by our family of origin and culture. Lillianne’s Cloak of Ghosts was filled with guilt, shame and anger against money and attachment to poverty, which she saw as proof of goodness. Love vs. power Spirituality vs. money Creativity vs. service Creativity vs. prosperity Honesty vs. authority These were only a few of the battles in Lillianne’s Inner War. Lillianne got up and threw the crumbled tissues into a nearby garbage can. I felt that her hopes were as crumbled as the tissues and my heart felt heavy for her. She swept some crumbs off her overall uniform and picked up her dirty maintenance globes. As we returned to the fifth floor, she waived a sad goodbye and returned to the toilets left to clean. The Two Mirrors As Lillianne moved away, I saw a woman in war with herself. This woman had looked into two different mirrors and had secretly chosen the familiar one, though it in no way reflected her Essence. Art by Maria Mar (c)2009. No reproduction, copy/paste allowed. The Poverty Mirror In the mirror she had secretly chosen, Lillianne was an abandoned, unloved orphan trapped in poverty. Guided by guilt and fear, she had erected an unforgiving God-parent who stripped her of “ego” (her own desires, her power to manifest, her true value?) by punishing her with a poverty that in no way reflected her inner richness. The true punishment was however, self-inflicted. Lillianne refused to charge for the services she came here to give. Instead, she had chosen to beg for them. Art by Maria Mar(c)2009. No reproduction, copy/paste permitted. In the mirror that reflected her Essence, Lillianne was a Wise Woman, a radiant being full of wisdom-treasures. She had the rare courage to dive deep into her Soul and to bring from those depths unfathomable riches searched and needed by millions. Her hands were filled with plenty. Her life could but reflect her inner riches and her generosity of spirit. For now, the orphan had won this battle. But by now I knew Lillianne. I knew that she would push against the bottom and rise in full majesty. Hands filled to the rim I looked at my hands then and remembered that day in my friend’s guest room, when I stared at my empty hands. In those deeply carved lines, I had read my present. I had seen the extraordinary value of the wisdom that had been handed me. I had traced the grace of my words and my art. I had weighted the substance of my gifts. My hands were not empty. They were filled to the rim with valuable wisdom, tools andinspiration. They had been  bestowed to me with the charge to pass them on. That day I had created my business, firmly founded on my writings, my art and my spiritual wisdom. As the bathroom door swallowed Lillianne, I sent her a blessing. May you look at your emptyhands and see the treasures overflowing. May you value each word of wisdom that flows from your lips and hands as a sacred treasure with the power to transform the world. May you receive the river of affluence that flows right now from the Universe to you. May you allow it to shower you in prosperity. May you open your heart to receive the riches you already have. I hold this blessing in my heart, for myself. I send it to each of you in these challenging times, with the invitation to choose the mirror that reflects your richness and release the fear that drags you into a place of fear and lack. Light and love, Maria Mar The Dream Alchemist PS: If you feel that you need help with your Shadow Selves, self-sabotage or manifesting your dream, please check my coaching services at: http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/coaching.htm _________________________________________ * The name and circumstances have been changed to protect this person’s privacy. Photos courtesy of Morguefile.com Art copyright of Maria Mar(c)2009. No reproduction or copy/paste permitted.

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Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

The Body of Miracles

Body of Miracles

I’ve dissaparated. You heard it. Just like Harry Potter and friends, I’ve dissaparated from one place and landed on another in a split second.

The body does wonderful feats. It usually happens in moments when we are in physical danger and cannot send our worrisome minds to interfere. The body does amazing things to save us. All we need to do is listen to our body’s wisdom and allow it to spontaneously respond to life. Our logical mind, as useful as it is, has been socially trained in what is possible and “real.” It has been domesticated into old beliefs about what we are able to do and what we cannot do. But our bodies, when we are in tune, have an environmental wisdom that flows from Universal Consciousness.

Okay, enough philosophy! Here’s the story:

As you know, Corazon Tierra is my creative partner. We’ve been performing together now for 20 years. Yesterday, we were coming out of a meeting and stepped into an elevator. The minute we set feet on the darn thing, it bobbed up and down ominously. Corazon and I, in a synchronicity that would have taken more than a year to rehearse, looked at each other, our arms immediately reaching out and locking around each other.

“Let’s get out of here!” Corazon said. But before she had finished the last word, all of this happened:

1. Both our bodies became light as feathers.
2. We did a graceful one-step leap, so utterly synchronized that our two bodies became one dancer.
3. We perched with one graceful foot (make that two, one each) on the hall, outside the elevator.
4. We looked at each other as the second foot touched down.
5. We burst into laughter

The movement had been so light and quick that our minds had only registered being on the elevator and landing out on the hall. We had dissaparated!

If we would only listen more to the organic, soul-infussed, cosmically connected wisdom of our body, we would live a life more fully present, happy and fulfilled. How do you feel about this?

I want to celebrate my body and its magical wisdom today. Join me in this celebration.

Share your magical stories. I’m sure you’ve got at least a couple of stories of how your miraculous body got you out of a jam… or two.

Light and Love,

Maria Mar

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You can use this story in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

RESOURCES:

In Spanish:

Corazon Tierra’s blog helps you to live joyfully in your body:

Cuerpoadentro Blog

In English:

Visit BodyImageHealth for a healthy body image and healthy eating habits for adults and children

National Geographic: Explore the human body and its health

Explore the Healer Within in HealthWorld

Read a preview of “Creating Health” by Deepak Chopra

Why Toxic People don’t like your Personal Boundaries

Why Toxic People

don’t like your Personal Boundaries

By Maria Mar(c)

This post is a response to one of the questions asked in the Toxic Relationships Survey that I posted in Polldaddy.

You asked the following question:

Why do some people have such difficult time accepting and respecting boundaries that other people put in place? Why do they take it personally?

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Like everything else that relates to humans, there is no generic answer to this question. Toxic People come in several varieties. This means that there are, at least, half a dozen answers to this question. I will discuss three here. For more information, you can check the Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit.

Comfort Dwellers

These people ―who can be toxic, or not― know and accept only what is comfortable and safe for them, which means that

• It’s habitual,
• It’s part of their inherited beliefs and worldview, or
• It’s accepted by the mass trance, which is their only vision of reality.

If your personal limits go beyond any of these familiar parameters, the Comfort Dwellers will find them alien, unreasonable and yes, they make take it as a personal insult or rejection. At the very least, they will take your limits as a personal extravagance that you are asking them to endure.

Since Comfort Dwellers understand safety and comfort, present your personal boundaries as the parameters where you feel safe and comfortable and ask them to support you. If they are not toxic, they will. If they are toxic, their response will have to do with whether that particular boundary you raise activates their Toxic Field or not. If it does, they will discharge their poison. It’s up to you to not take it personally or distance yourself appropriately.

Terrified Tweeters

If you read the sample chapter in the Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit, you know that the Terrified Tweeters are people who are living in fear. To cover up or address this fear, they stay safely within the Walls of Expectations that they have inherited or built. This means that:

• They haven’t questioned their inherited beliefs and are trapped in a normalcy script that they call “reality,”
• They have not questioned their own personal myths about themselves because they have not given themselves enough attention,
• They are terrified of looking beneath the lies and illusions of their dysfunctional family of origin to see the truth, or
• They will do anything to avoid pain, which has lead to the betrayal of their True Self and their Personal Dream.

To some Terrified Tweeters, your personal boundaries feel like stabs in the heart. Why? Because they have not dared to set their own boundaries. Why? Because they have not dared to take the time to know themselves, love themselves or establish their unique experience. To other Terrified Tweeters, your boundaries seem selfish, rude or a rejection. These tweeters are trapped in social scripts and have betrayed their own uniqueness. Your insistence on being yourself triggers their Toxic Fields, and they feel compelled to discharge their toxic emotions.

Since Terrified Tweeters live in fear, anything that you can do to assure them that you love and accept them and that you are not asking them to do what you do will help alleviate their fear. Keep those boundaries clear, however. There may be a need to distance yourself in those activities or areas that trigger their Toxic Fields. The good news is that once your Personal Dream is manifested and your goals achieved, some Terrified Tweeters may in fact, seek you out to learn how to accomplish their own dreams with the least amount of pain. Others, however, will escalate their toxic discharge because you have now grown from a vague threat to a successful threat to their status quo.

Darth Vaders

Though the Darth Vaders also come in different varieties, they are either

• Conscious of your personal rights and needs, but unwilling to honor them, or
• So submerged in their own darkness or misery that they enjoy taunting you as a way of feeding their Shadows.

As far as toxic people come, the Darth Vaders are the least common variety and the easiest to detect. They are also the most deadly. What would you do if you saw a vampire? Make that boundary as impenetrable a shield as the cross is to vampires, and run as far as your legs take you!

Ultimately, your personal boundaries are there to serve you. As we are all one, however, in serving you, your personal boundaries should also help others. At the least, they should improve your relationship with those that can vibrate at your own frequency.

Raise your personal limits with love and respect to others. That is all you can do. Those who cannot accept them are trapped in their own limitations. If they take it personally, don’t make the same mistake. Don’t take their response personally. Release them to their personal choices and detach from their personal limits.

When you release people to their choices, miraculous things happen. Sometimes, that’s all that is needed for them to come around.

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To ask your question and share your opinions on toxic relationships, take 3 minutes to answer the survey at: http://surveys.polldaddy.com/s/65557601854217B2/

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Read more about the Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit at: http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/toxicrelationships-self-help_kit.htm

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

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You can use this article in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

Peer pressure and toxic relationships

Peer Pressure and Toxic Relationships Excerpt from The Toxic Relationship Self-help Kit: Love them, but LEAVE them By Maria Mar(c)2009 Terrified Tweeter jumped from branch to branch, tweeting as hard as she could. Her friends, scared of the terrible danger that the small bird announced, stayed safely at a distance. They admired Tweeter’s courage. Such a tiny bird, staying on the same tree as that mean predator, Haughty Hawk. What courage! Small as she was, Terrified Tweeter was relentless. Her tweets were so loud that her whole body shook with their resonance. Meanwhile Hawk sat on a steady branch at the other side of the Ancient Tree, meditating. But it was hard to meditate with all the racket that the tiny bird was creating. Haughty Hawk was annoyed. Why was the bird so scared now, when they had co-existed peacefully for years? “I thought she was my friend,” Haughty Hawk reflected. “Go figure these tiny tweeters. They are always scared.” Haughty Hawk had also been scared as it grew up in the noisy city, with the Two-legged predators so nearby. But now that she was meditating and learning the Ways of the Warrior, she had chosen to live without fear. She had learned to empty her mind and visualize her desires, and she had grown strong and confident. But the more confident Haughty Hawk grew, the louder Terrified Tweetie squeaked each time Hawk came close. She had managed to scare all the other birds, who disappeared the minute Haughty Hawk perched in any of the Ancient Trees around. Haughty Hawk began to feel more than resentful. She became angry. “Perhaps I should give her reason to tweet,” Haughty Hawk considered, her trained eye gauging the distance between the scared bird and her branch. In a split second, she could have the naughty bird in her beak, and she could then meditate in silence. Haughty Hawk caught herself in her fantasies of revenge and released her toxic feelings with a sigh. She dived her Inner Eye deep into her heart. There she saw and felt the pain that her new loneliness inflicted. She was sad that her tiny friends would distrust her after all this time. Haughty Hawk remembered when she had caught them murmuring behind her back. “She says that she is harnessing power,” they nervously tweeted. “What could she possibly want to do with all that power, except eat us all?” they squeaked. Haughty Hawk smiled sadly. She remembered when she, too was scared of the great Eagle, the large Hunter Hawks and the daring Crows. She had felt so small that she had not understood her own power. She had, like her tiny friends, thought of power only as a threat, not something she held inside for her own fulfillment. “Oh, well, tweets will be tweets!” Hawk finally said to herself. “And I am a Master Warrior.” She gracefully flew to a near lamppost and began her concentration again. She was visualizing one of the fat rats that were coming out of the ground during the construction that the Two-Legged were doing in the street below. But Terrified Tweeter didn’t get it. She still tweeted as if her feathers had caught fire. Nothing stirred among the Ancient Trees. Nothing moved in miles around. The scared tweet was doing a great job of scaring all possible prey. As I looked at this scene, the beautiful white spotted hawk flew towards a distant tree. I couldn’t get my eyes off her majestic, silent flight. Still terrified, the small tweeter squeaked behind my back. As you read the fable above, were you immediately sympathetic with the small bird, seeing her as the hero and hawk as the bad guy? That is our collective tendency. We instinctively seek justice. But we cannot make true justice if we confuse power with dominance. For if we do, we will be manipulated by those who play the victim and we will repel and punish those who stand in their power. This confusion is at the heart of toxic relationships. Power as defined by our patriarchal system, is control and dominance. But that is only an illusion of power. When we believe this illusion, we reject power. When we reject power, we align ourselves with helplessness. We make those with personal power our enemies. We repel mentors, teachers and those friends and peers who assume their power. In other words, we become toxic to those who seek freedom, joy and growth. When we align ourselves with powerlessness, we are afraid to speak with our voice of authority. We place an interrogation mark at the end of our declarations and beat around the bush to speak our truth. We constrict our bodies and our voices. We dream tiny and stay safely perched in our Comfort Zone. If you have courageously stepped out of that Comfort Zone, you may unknowingly be facing peer pressure. We tell our children not to give in to peer pressure. But many adults are clueless as to the level of peer pressure they carry on their Psychic Shoulders. As a result, they give in to peer pressure, betraying their Personal Dreams and their spiritual growth. Children and teens are more direct on their peer pressure tactics. They may result to insults or name-calling. Adults are more subtle. Friends will distance themselves. Peers will murmur behind your back. Family members will close ranks and mount a campaign to wear or break you down. Because they know you well, they know your Breaking Points. They will go for these weak areas in your psyche. This emotional and psychic attack that can undermine your motivation and your energy level. When you feel that the people you love resist your growth or sabotage your dreams you feel sad, betrayed, resentful, revengeful, angry and lonely. If you are afraid of confrontation and used to the lies of the dysfunctional family, you may join their betrayal by excusing their behavior and going back to your learned limits of perception. Is it a wonder, then, that many of us go back on our personal growth and give up on our dreams? If you dream big, you are big. Once you acknowledge your personal power and reclaim your personal authority, you soon find yourself among the Majestic Swans, the Great Eagles, the Master Hunter Hawks and Daring Crows. Those whom you left behind will tweet loudly and persistently. “Change back! Change back!” they will squeak. Perhaps they will not be as raucous as Terrified Tweeter. Perhaps they will give you the silent treatment or the cold shoulder. What will you do then? What have you done? Have you given up on your new friends? Have you given up on your new dreams? Have you drowned your desires deep inside yourself? Have you gone back to the humdrum of a life without passion? It is important for you to recognize the peer pressure tactics of the adults around you. Find the best way to address the fears of your family and peers. If it is possible, bring them into the open. If not, give them special love and attention to ensure them that you still love them and they have nothing to fear. You also need to recognize your sadness and allow yourself to grieve for your past life. These are growing pains. Every woman and man who has achieved something great ―whether a new discovery that changed humanity or a state of personal fulfillment― has gone through these growing pains. Use the Time Traveling Exercise at the end of this chapter to address your growing pains. Be firm, however, in your new boundaries, dreams and lifestyle. Above all, do not allow the fear of those in your past to bring down your vibration. Big dreams require a high vibrational level. The changes you are making in your life are changing your vibrational frequency, so that you can tolerate a higher vibration and can manifest and live in your dream. Those who cannot tolerate the high vibrational frequency of freedom, courage, confidence, power, joy and passion may squeak warning signals to you. They may project their own fears or limiting beliefs. They will poke your Breaking Points, exacerbating the old limited beliefs that keep you confined in your old lifestyle. If you recognize what is happening, you can use this situation to examine your Breaking Points. The confrontation you may experience at this time can then help you to weave a strong mesh in the wounded areas of your energy field. By addressing the limited beliefs and releasing learned fears, you will be able to prevent the many energy leakages that have brought your energy frequency down. You will come out of this experience having transformed your Breaking Points into your strongest points. On the other hand, give in to peer pressure, and you will begin to fade back into the life that you were trying to escape. At this time it is especially important to maintain your new friends and allies. You need people who can vibrate at the higher frequency because they “lend you energy.” This means that they bring you into musical entrainment with their energy vibration, helping you generate a higher frequency and sustain it for longer periods of time. This is an excerpt from The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit: Love them, but LEAVE them Pre-order your copy now. No obligation to purchase or pre-payment. Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment. ____________________________ If you receive this in an email, click here to leave your comment. ______________________________ TWEET THIS! Recommend this blog post in a tweet, by clicking below. Click Here. Maria Mar(c) You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link: Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!