I am living my Dream. Come sing with me!

Dear beautiful sisters and brothers,

I remember Angie, the beautiful, magical child I was once. She would create poems and dances and organize participatory, creative events for the family reunions. I invite you to join my “I am my Dream Celebration” today by leaving your comments and sharing your stories. Here’s mine.

Through my inherited wounds and blows in life, Angie lost some of her creativity and luster, and she became a caretaker, someone who carried a lot of psychic weight as an atonement for being so happy and creative. She lost her singing voice. She lost her visual art skills. She came to believe that she only had a right to do art if she was NOT enjoying it and if she focused on the problems. After all, that is what she saw everyone around her small world focusing on!

Though I never betrayed my creativity or my life’s purpose, I paid a heavy price for this. I became a workaholic “activist” and carried a lot of social weight, struggle, anger and caretaking into my theater experience, until in 1993 I burned out (literally embodied in the fire that consumed our venue!!) My Ancestors told me then: Healer, heal thyself. My shamanic initiation began.

My shamanic path and my healing journey have been about releasing the psychic weight and reclaiming all of my talents and gifts. I reclaimed my visual art and began doing beautiful participatory art installations, illustrations, book covers, website designs and graphics, sets and costumes. Wow! For a woman who said for years: “The only thing I can do with my hands is write, because I have no talent for visual arts” this was a big growth.

I healed my learned dysfunctions and beliefs, so that I began to create a theater that focused on beauty, on the solutions, on the experience of love and power, instead of drilling the audiences about the social problems. As I let go of focusing on the negative, while sustaining faith in our ability to heal, I also began attracting wonderful people to work with me creatively.

And now, the last of the blockages has been removed. For years I could not sing due to what I call a “Family Curse” –wounds that are passed on for generations. Think about this: for more than 40 years I could not sing. I could not fly in melody. I could not repeat the same note patterns. I could not carry a tune. This was not due to being tune-deaf, because I wen to a specialist. It was emotional trauma and deep-seated beliefs. Nonetheless, I simply could not do it.

In the last years I have been releasing the obstacles to this last remnant of my inherited limitations. Finally, I am happy to say that in my last presentation, in the Poetry Botanica, I sang in public for the first time in my life!!!

I heard the music for Tanya Torres’ beautiful poem “El Rio” (The River) inside me, and I allowed myself to sing it. Imagine what it has meant for me that many people in the audience came to me to thank me for the healing power of my voice!

Please join me today to celebrate that I have become whole, that I have released all my powers and talents, and that I am now living my dream, doing the art that I was meant to do. This was the vision Angie had long ago, the memory of her purpose. Now I am doing it: creating a community circle where people find magic, inspiration and healing through art and love. This is the Poetry Botanica.

Celebrate with me here today by leaving your comments about my story and sharing what you have accomplished, the talents and skills you have reclaimed and the dreams you are now living.

Let”s inspire each other this holidays through the gift of storytelling and the miracle we all are.

Light and Love,
Maria Mar
The Dream Alchemist
Poetry Botanica

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7 Responses

  1. Thank You Maria Mar for giving us empowerment with your life story. You are wonderful person with a lot of talents that are the blessings for those that are in need of healing and empowerment. Angie’s talents are coming out stronger and in a place where people are in need of them. Love, Prosperity and happiness for you, the start shinning.

    • Hi, Migdalia,
      It’s good to hear from you again. It’s been a while. Thanks for naming Angie, my Sacred Wonder Inner Child. She’s my angel! How is it going with your book? With your studies? You, too have a great success story to share, and I’d love if you share it with us in the blog when you have some time. Blessings, Maria Mar

  2. I think your story is beautiful! I often refer to my life when i was a little girl. What was I doing? what was I thinking? I have kept my little girl heart, and everyday I make steps to live my truest passion. It does begin with healing the mind with faith and love. Believe you can heal, because you can. Once my mind was caught in a scary, terrible place, with thoughts I didn’t know how to remove or resist. So I prayed, over and over and over. Thousands of times I repeated the same prayer, to save me from that mess! A few years went by, but I felt I was getting better everyday. Right now I am new. I continue to everyday nurture my spirit, body and soul. I believe I live my dreams too. Soon it will be effortless. Right now It flows freely. Thank you for posting this website and doing what you have always wanted to do.

    • Hi, Allison,
      What a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing it. Your story lets us know that it takes persistence and courage to become our dream. I too, have met my negative thoughts like a Warrioress, day after day,hundreds of time a day, shifting from learned limited thoughts to the thoughts that are a blueprint to my dream and come from my soul. I know the commitment with self that this demands. I congratulate you wholeheartedly and thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope to hear more from you. I love your honest, pure voice. Blessings, Maria Mar

  3. Dear MarĂ­a,
    Your story is both inspiring and empowering because very few people dare allow themselves to explore their dreams, let alone live them. But by reading your story, we can give ourselves permission to become our dream. I know this is, at least for me, the only way to experience true and lasting happiness. You art brings joy and pleasure to all of us who experience it, and your courage brings the inspiration we might need to go forward to a beautiful future. Tanya

    • Hi, Tanya,
      I’m so glad you visited me and left a message. It is an honor to have you visit anytime, whether in Samba Bakery Cafe or in my blog. As I am reading your beautiful naming of me, I realized that I could say exactly the same about you. It was as if I was looking at a mirror. Isn’t it great?! It is such a gift and a miracle to have friends who reflect the best of us to ourselves. Thank you for your presence in my life, and for these kind words. I love you and celebrate you.
      Light of love,
      Maria Mar

  4. Hi, Patrick,
    I’m glad that you like my blog messages. It’s an honor to inspire you. The funny thing is that you wrote “love massages” instead of messages. What a little letter can do! Thanks for making me laugh. Bless you. Maria Mar

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