Talk Crazy

Talk Crazy

Are you addicted to meaningless talk?

We have gone a bit Talk Crazy these days. Well, do be honest, it’s not just a bit. We have a full fledged new addiction: GadgetTalk. I simply call it the Talk Crazy addiction. It  has reached epidemic proportions. If you don’t believe me, look at people as you walk down the streets. Look around in the bus or waiting rooms. At least 5 out of 10 people are talking as they walk, drive or wait. At least this is the New York Experience.

This blog helps you to take a quick informal self-assessment test to find out if you are Talk Crazy, while giving you something to think about when you consider how you communicate.

Mind you, if you realize that you are Talk Crazy, this doesn’t mean that you are crazy! This is just an informal assessment and the term a humorous way at looking at our communication age.

If you score high in the Talk Crazy scale, it may mean however, that you need to find a more meaningful and balanced way to communicate, relate to others and above all, communicate with yourself.

The Self-assessment questions below help you to:

  • Find out if you are Talk Crazy
  • To what degree are you addicted to GadgetTalk or meaningless talk
  • Discover what aspects of communication you are neglecting
  • Discover how you can enrich your communication experience.

There are four types of points for the score.

  • T points
  • F points
  • I points
  • M points

They will be explained at the end.

SEGMENT A: Communication tools

How many of these you have?

  1. Cell phone or
  2. Email account (1)
  3. Social network- one
  4. Email account (more than 1)
  5. Voip Services (Like Skype)
  6. Blackberry
  7. Chat service
  8. Social network- up to 3
  9. Other document sharing, photo or video sharing services
  10. Social network- more than 3
  11. I access my social networks through my cellphone/blackberry
  12. Online community, memberships, clubs, etc.

SCORE:

  • One T-point for each checked from items 1-5.
  • Three T-points for each checked from items 6-8
  • Five T-points for each checked from items 9-12

Communication Tools

There is no good or bad when it comes to how many communication tools you use or possess. Only you know what your personal and professional needs are. If you are in business or in communications, marketing, security or public relations fields, you may need a high level of communication gadgets. High or low scores here are only the basis for further assessment.

There is however, one question you may ask yourself.

Do I really need all these gadgets?

Having a lot of gadgets and services does not necessarily enrich the quality of your life or of your communications. The next segments will help you assess if this is true. If it is, then they will also let you know what areas you are neglecting now and what you can do to enhance the quality of your communications, relationships and of your lifestyle.

SEGMENT B: Frequency

How much do you use each of these gadgets and services in any given day? Choose only ONE option, the one that is the closest to your experience.

  1. I use some of these once or twice a week, but not every day.
  2. I use my cell phone/blackberry less than 5 times a day and the rest of the gadgets about once or twice a week.
  3. I use my phone/blackberry around 10 times a day and at least two of the rest of the gadgets or services  once a day.
  4. I use my phone/blackberry around 20 times a day and at least three of the rest of the gadgets or services a minimum of three times a day.
  5. I am on one of these at least every hour.
  6. At any given time in any given day, I am using one or more of these gadgets and services to communicate.

SCORE:

  • One F-point for item 1
  • Two F-points for item 2
  • Three F-points of item 3
  • Four F-points for item 4
  • Five F-points for item 5
  • Six F-points for item 6

Frequency

Once again, there is no judgment about the frequency to which you use your communication gadgets, because only you know what you need personally and professionally. If you are in security or if you are a doctor, you may not be able to turn off your cell phone, for example.

On the other hand, you may be using your gadgets as tools of avoidance. The question you may want to ask is this:

Am I using my time, attention and energy effectively to enrich my life and attain my goals through my communications?

If your communication frequency is distracting you from using your time, attention and energy in ways that manifest your dreams, deepen your relationships and enhance your finances and your quality of life, then it is addictive or at least needs to be balanced.

Yes, but…. Are you communicating?

You have the tools and you use them more or less frequently, but are you communicating?

Here’s the catch. Communicating has two meanings. Here’s what the Encyclopedia of Public Health says about communication.

“Communication is the production and exchange of information and meaning by use of signs and symbols.”

This presents us with a challenge.  There are TWO different aspects of communication: information and meaning.

Let’s do another level of self-assessment to distinguish how you are using each of these aspects.

SEGMENT C: Information and Meaning

In a scale of 0-10, 0 being never and 10 always, how much do you communicate about any of the items below while communicating with any of the gadgets above? (Give yourself a score of 0-10 for each item.)

  1. What I am doing.
  2. What I did.
  3. What I plan to do.
  4. What just happened around me.
  5. News.
  6. Information about logistics: where, who, what, when, etc.
  7. Information about problems that need to be solved.
  8. What happened to someone else or what someone else did or say.
  9. About something I am hearing or reading (music, book, etc.)
  10. Venting reactive feelings, like anger, frustration, etc.
  11. Communicating my opinion on what is happening.
  12. How I am feeling about myself and my life.
  13. How I perceive the situations going on.
  14. The meaning that I perceive in this situation and how it affects my life.
  15. About the dreams, desires, goals and challenges that I am facing and how I feel about them.
  16. Sharing the beauty or blessings that I see around me or that I experience internally.
  17. Reflecting on the meaning or consequences of things that are happening in the world.
  18. Listening to the other person attentively, to be there for them.

SCORE:

  • One I-point for each item for scores of 1-4 in items 1-10
  • Three I-points for each item for scores of 6-10 for items 1-10
  • One M-point for each item for scores of 1-4 for items 11-18
  • Three M-points for each item for scores of 5-10 for items 11-18

Information to meaning ratio

If you are like most people, you scored high on items 1-10 and very low if at all in items 11 to 15. What this means is that you are using only the first definition of communication. You are exchanging information. But you are rarely sharing meaning.

This is, in part due to the nature of the new gadgets. They are used on the run, in public or in an unsecured medium.

But it has more to do with our own addictive society.

In this society we are not taught self-intimacy. We are not guided in the knowledge of how to process emotions. We are rarely given support or time to reflect on our lives. This creates an addictive society in which people are constantly doing, talking, focusing outwards and keeping busy as a means of avoiding their personal truth.

Now we have the perfect tools to exploit our Talk Crazy addictions. We can talk 24 hours a day every day. We can even talk while we sleep, thanks to scheduled emails and messages!

We can escape from ourselves by talking to others.

That is my definition of being Talk Crazy.

Are you Talk Crazy?

Here’s one last set of questions to get your score:

SEGMENT D: The Experience of Meaning

During each day, I take time to do any of the following:

  1. Meditate
  2. Commune with nature
  3. Just being
  4. Silence
  5. Reflect on my dreams and goals
  6. Receive and give thanks for my blessings
  7. Do some body awareness practice or discipline, like Yoga, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, Pranic Healing, etc. (Movement for body awareness and connection to the inner body, not to lose weight or stay fit.)
  8. Time to eat in peace and quiet.
  9. Creative time to paint, draw, listen to music, sing, dance, etc.
  10. Time to talk with a friend about our feelings and to share our deepest experiences or reflections.
  11. Write in a journal about life, my experience and my spirituality.
  12. Read to enhance my perception and understanding of experience.
  13. Seek or share inspiration.
  14. Write a poem or story to communicate what I’ve experienced.
  15. Send an email, letter or other communication sharing these experiences to my friends or list.

SCORE:

Three M-points for any item you select in this list.

The Experience of Meaning

It may sound strange to you that I talk about the experience of meaning. Isn’t meaning something you think about? That belief is at the core of our social addiction and the way it creeps out in our communication.

We are dissociated from the physical, sensual, soulful and spiritual experience of the meaning of our life. In this isolation, there is a sense of orphanhood, meaninglessness and vacuum that we then try to feel with activity, external actions and focus and by thinking and talking. We use talking as a mask that hides this existential black hole.

The cure for this Talk Crazy addiction as well as to all the other control addictions that mask our emptiness is precisely the experience of meaning. When we experience the meaning of our life, we heal. This experience requires the integration of:

  • Our body, our inner experience of our body (vs manipulating our body from the outside to fit into some mental ideal)
  • Our soul, our Unique Essence and its wisdom, its knowledge of our life purpose
  • Our emotional truth, felt authentically instead of used for drama, blaming, acting out or repressing our personal truth
  • Our spiritual and energy being as experienced in the vibration of our energy body and our higher wisdom.

This integration happens organically as we practice Conscious Living. The last segment of this self-assessment gives you the experiences of conscious living you need to begin healing your addiction or bring your Talk Crazy obsession into balance.

Let’s find out what your score is and what that means about your communication experience.

Add up all your points and gather them on this way:

SEGMENT A: Total of T-points

This is your score for Communication Tools. If it is high, then this means that you use a lot of communication tools. This is neither good nor bad, depending on the rest of the score. After all, you may NEED these tools. That’s why they exist, because they help us!

SEGMENT B: Total of F-points

This is your score for Frequency of use. If it is high, again, this only means that you use your communication tools very frequently. You may need to, so that by itself doesn’t make you TalkCrazy. You could consider if you really need to use them as much as you do. But the important factors are the Information to Meaning ratio and the Meaning Experience score below. These let you know if you are using your gadgets to engage in your addiction or if you are using them to convey your message to the world and facilitate a better life for yourself and your family.

SEGMENT C: Get your I/M ratio. This is your Information/Meaning ratio. To get this, add your I-points (information) and your M-points (meaning). Now divide your I-points by your M-points. That’s your I/M ratio.

For example:

30 I-points/10 M-points=30/10 ratio. This means that you may be communicating 3X more information than meaningful communication.

10 I-points/ 20 M points= 10/2o. This means that you may be communicating twice as much meaningful communication as you share information.

Depending on your purpose and expertise field, you may want to keep or to recalibrate this ratio. If you are in the business of facts and you got an disproportionately high Information ratio, you are doing fine. If, however, you are in business and you are using your gadgets and services to communicate and sale, you may be missing the point altogether. How are you making your prospects feel through the mood, emotions and knowledge that you consistently communicate? Are you addressing their dreams, needs and experiences? Addressing these issues will bring your meaning score up. If you communicate for personal purposes and you got a high information ratio, you may be in the habit of talking about facts and news to cover the void left by your lack of self-intimacy or of intimacy in your relations. Use segments C and D to improve this.

Total of M-points

Add your M points from Segment C and D. The results is your Meaning Index. This index conveys not only how meaningful your communication may be, but how you convey and experience meaning in your life.

Maximum score=69

If you score between 69 and 45, you may be communicating and experiencing meaning in a rich manner, including feelings, reflections, knowledge and experience.

If you score between 44 and 30, you are probably sharing enough meaning for your particular field or goal, though you may want to examine any area in which you can improve.

If you score between 29 and 20, you need to examine how to communicate more meaning, not just facts, in order to enrich your communication. Unless, of course, you are in the business of just facts.

If you score less than 20, examine carefully how you are living and communicating. Unless your job is to convey just facts, you may be engaging in GadgetTalk addiction as a means to escape your personal truth, avoid intimacy or as a learned limitation. Use Segments C and D as a guide to enrich both, your communication and the experience of meaning in your life.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com

http://www.dreamalchemist.com

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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Book Review: The Leader who had no title


Dream Alchemist’s Book Review

By Maria Mar



Author: Robin Sharma

Book: The Leader Who had No Title
A Modern Fable on Real Success in Business and in  Life


“No one’s unimportant. There are ono extra people alive today. Every person and every job matters, and all work can be made meaningful with the Lead Without the Title philosophy.”


Robin Sharma
The Leader Who
had No Title

A Modern Fable on Real Success

in Business and in  Life



I’ve been as charged up lately as if I’d been plugged into a giant Eveready
battery.


My secret?


I read a tiny book with a huge power to move the human spirit.


The book?




The Leader Who had no Title: A Modern Fable on Real Success in Business and
in Life.


The author?


Robin Sharma, a leader who has been voted the Number Two top leader in the
world and whose legendary book, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari sold
millions of copies in more than fifty-five countries.


The message in this tiny book has been igniting a quiet revolution as it travels among innovative leaders and creators. It has ignited the leadership
of Fortune 500 companies such as Microsoft, IBM, GE, FedEx and of organizations such as Yale University and the Young Presidents Organization. I am blessed to have it right now in my hands, even before it is launched into the world to reach yours.


Here’s my vision for this book.


Get ready. A revolution is coming. It is a revolution that humanity needs right now for our evolution. It is a revolution in leadership. The message is simple, but its repercussions are world-changing. Here it is in a nutshell:


You have the power to be a leader who transforms the world, one person at a time, no matter what you do and what title you have. Whether it is in your personal life, in your family or at work, you can become a leader who inspires and makes the world a little better every day. And you don’t need a title to do that!


This leadership revolution is truly democratic. It is based in the tenet that organizations, corporations, families and communities of the 21st century must train each member to be a leader.


“Please, no!” You may be thinking. “What’s going to happen with so many people trying to control, compete and get to the top?!”


This type of leadership attitude is out of the game in the coming leadership revolution. Robin Sharma proposes a redefinition of leadership. The new leader is a person who strives for excellence in all s/he does and who seeks to leave this world a better place. S/he defines success by what she gives, not by what s/he gets.


The I-Ching and almost every wise tradition agrees. In ancestral spiritual traditions, the leader is the servant of the people. Now Robin Sharma is saying that even servants and low-ranking workers, no matter how low in the command chain they find themselves, are also leaders.


Robin Sharma has three gifts. He is a visionary leader. He is an excellent teacher. And he is a great motivator. He conveys his message through storytelling, which is my favorite medium, one proven to drive the message deep into the psyche.


The parable he created is the quest of a young veteran, Blake Davis. As a matter of fact, Blake’s first teacher is a housekeeper in a high-end hotel. Yet Anna understands the importance of her job.  She knows that she is not an insignificant domestic, as others may see her. She really is “the good will ambassador for the hotel and someone who manages its brand by the way I behave.”


Think about this. You may believe that Anna is delusional. Yet she is right on the dot. When you enter a restaurant or hotel, who is the first line of
representatives you meet? Who establishes the level of elegance, efficiency and warmth of the establishment? Waiters, receptionists and housekeepers. Yet our society sees them as less because of the type of service they render
and the amount of money they earn.


What would happen if organizations and communities would begin to treat each working person with the honor her or his service deserves? What would happen if each person knew the importance of her/his work for the company and the people s/he touches?


That is the revolution that Robin Sharma proposes. And I say. It’s about time!

Who can find help and fuel in
this book?


If you are feeling de-motivated or down due to the economy, your role at work or your feeling of powerlessness to change your life, get this book
immediately.


If you are an entrepreneur, leader, free-lancer, manager or organizer, this book will put fire in your belly and is a great tool for your crew.

Here are a few more ideas:
PARENTS


This book can give you a blueprint to empower the members in your family. Educate children and youth who assume their personal power and responsibility in the world.

TEACHERS
The leadership revolution Robin Sharma proposes demands a new way of teaching. Gone is the culture of obedience that makes education so boring in many schools. This book will challenge and illuminate you on how to empower
each student to become a leader.

BOSSES:
Bring your corporation and leadership style into the 21st century and help your company survive this hard times by transforming each employee into a leader who does his/her best for the corporation.

WORKERS:
Understand how your current job, no matter what your position is in the company, is the vehicle for your personal growth and spiritual evolution. You can become a Leader without a Title!


Here are some of my favorite
bites of wisdom:

  • Potential unrealized turns to pain.

  • Sustained change only happens when we shift at an emotional rather than at a logical level.

  • There’s no dead-end job in this whole wide and unpredictable world of ours-only dead-end thinking.

  • It is impossible to build a tribute to success on a foundation of excuses.

  • Great people construct monuments with the stones their critics throw at them.

  • Daily ripples of superior performance add up over time to a tidal wave of success.

  • Beliefs are nothing more than thoughts we’ve repeated over and over until we’ve made them into personal truths. Every belief inevitably becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.


When each of us realizes that we have the power to make an awesome difference in the world by unleashing our genius and assuming our greatness, humanity will evolve into a higher level of consciousness.


Get this book and read it every time you need to raise power!



http://theleaderwhohadnotitle.com/


Dream Alchemist’s Book Review

****
5 stars. Excellent read. Excellent transformation tool. Excellent motivating experience.

This book ignited my fire so strongly that I donated a bonus to the book launching campaign. If you get the book today (April 6), you will benefit from a complimentary package of bonuses worth thousands of dollars, including bonuses from:

Does this help? Let me know! Leave your
comment.

If you receive this in an email,
click here to leave your comment.

Maria Mar
The Dream Alchemist

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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Inspirational Journey-Jumping on Water


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Most people still believe that reality is objective. Then they believe that their
interpretation IS reality. Next they believe that their emotional response is caused by this reality. This is a way of giving your power away. Why not instead assume your power as the creator of reality? Why be the spectator when you can be the author, director and protagonist? Get the credits for your life. After all, you have created it!

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Inspirational Book Excerpt


“The way we relate to others and to the world at large has less to do with
outer circumstances and more to do with the stories in our mind. Our
feelings arise in response to our inner interpretation of the world around
us, which in turn drive our actions and behaviors to create our current life
experience.

At the end of the day, at the end of your life, your power and freedom lie
in making reality mean what you want it to. Your attitude toward life
determines what life becomes for you.”


From

Ted Karam
Jumping On Water:
Awaken Your Joy ~

Empower Your Life


Resource:

Jumping On Water:

Awaken Your Joy ~ Empower Your Life

Explore the mysterious realm of your thoughts and emotions
and empower yourself to act deliberately and avoid reacting to the stresses of life.

Ted teaches you to recognize:

The Three Waves of Awakening

  1. Recognize : Raise Your Awareness

  2. Release : Let Go of Whatever is Holding You Back –
    Clear out the weeds

  3. Reprogram : Focus on what you most Desire –
    Plant new seeds

Do not give your power away to your circumstances. Find out how to change your life from the inside out!

Read more and purchase the book now at:

http://www.jumpingonwater.com/bkpromo.html

Take advantage of this amazing
offer – Today only
, (February 2) you will receive thousands of dollars of incredible FREE LIFE-CHANGING BONUS GIFTS
from World Renowned Teachers, Experts, and Authors when you order a single copy of Jumping On Water. Here are some of the amazing individuals offering their support to help you reach your
highest potential and make 2010 your best year ever!


* Mark Victor Hansen * T Harv Eker  * Maria Mar  *


* Bob Proctor  * John Gray * Leonard Szmyczak  *

Read more:


http://www.jumpingonwater.com/bkpromo.htm

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Living in Freedom Everyday


Dream Alchemist’s Book Review

By Maria Mar



Author: Kenneth Brown with Patrick Borders


Book: L.I.F.E: Living in Freedom Everyday! Six Principles for Successful Living


“To live in freedom, we each must have faith, vision, purpose and passion. In addition, we must take ownership of our lives and associate ourselves with people who will lift us up and not keep us down.”


Kenneth Brown

L.I.F.E.

Living in Freedom Everyday

Six Principles for Successful Living




With this common-sense, down-to-earth system, Kenneth Brown delivers a book that helps you to take ownership of your life, to seek and find your own
blueprint for life. He then teaches you how to use these six simple, but profound principles to activate this blueprint in your daily life. Kenneth delivers his promise.



If you like real life success stories, common sense counsel and a good use of bible wisdom, you will love Kenneth Brown’s book, L.I.F.E: Living in Freedom Everyday! Six Principles for Successful Living.



Ken’s book endeavors to answer this question: “Why is it that so many of us are enslaved to the events of life, while others, like Tawana, are able to live in freedom?” (Tawana is a woman whom Kenneth met at a conference. Lacking both arms and hands, she is a successful woman, wife and leader and a
person living in freedom. That’s just one of the many stories with which Kenneth regales his readers.)



In his book, Kenneth proceeds to answer this question with real life stories, acute observations and bible quotes.


Here are some of my favorite L.I.F.E’s
bites of wisdom:

  • Life, as it turns out, is an inside job. Joy is an inside job.

  • With vision ~spiritual vision that is~ we can see the invisible and do the impossible.

  • Passion manifests itself in boundless enthusiasm.

  • Ownership is about doing all you can, with all you have, from the place you are.

  • When we own up to our lives, we don’t indulge in blaming others. We assume 100 percent responsibility for our thoughts and actions.

  • We become the people we hang with.

  • Faith is the currency of God’s kingdom.


Kenneth has a way of telling biblical stories in a light that
illuminates how intrinsically human they were and how they still apply to our everyday life and human conflicts.



Even though I am not Christian, I enjoyed his bible stories. He retells them to shed light in our own doubts, fears and struggles. As he does this, God’s ancient words come back to life and become once again relevant.



An example of this is his retelling of the story of Moses and his twelve leaders. God had parted the sea and provided them with food during the long journey from Egypt, Kenneth reminds us. Yet upon seeing the fortified cities and the political strength of Canaan, the leaders lost faith. Ken says, “Instead of entering the land of promise, they desired to return to the land of slavery. They desired to return to their comfort zone.” That immediately hits home!



As a master storyteller does, Kenneth weaves case studies and biblical stories to show us how we give away our power to negative expectations, fear, hunger for acceptance, habits and other inner enemies that destroy us and our purpose. He then presents simple shifts of perception, again backed up by stories and real life scenarios that help us release see our circumstances anew.


“We must choose between fear and
faith, because one of those will control our thoughts. Our thoughts control our words. Our words control our actions. Our actions control our character, and our character controls our destiny.”


Kenneth Brown
L.I.F.E.
Living in Freedom Everyday

Six Principles for Successful Living


In speaking about the influence of associations and emotionally toxic environments, Kenneth says: “When people don’t remove themselves from hopeless environments, they lose the energy to play the game of life.”



Kenneth has the ability to see great lessons in daily situations, like when he took his son to a Michigan game and saw how “the spirits of more than 100,000 screaming fans” rose and fell depending on the efforts of the players on the field.” He then sees this as a metaphor for how many people live. “In life everyday, just like in that game, people attach themselves to
the dreams of others. They do it in their careers and in their families. Instead of seeking the peace and joy of living a life of freedom, they pursue happiness through other people.”



If you want to feed your faith so that you can climb mountains and reach your dreams, I highly recommend that you devour this book!




http://www.livinginfreedomeveryday.com/book/


Dream Alchemist’s Book Review

****
4 stars. Excellent read. Excellent transformation tool.

This is a great
New Year’s gift


to nurture yourself or your beloved’s dreams
and resolutions If you place your order today, January 26, you receive an amazing collection of Bonus gifts that Kenneth and his team have put together.

(I’ve contributed a bonus there,
folks!)  For purchasing just one copy of L.I.F.E NOW, all
of these gifts are yours free.



http://www.livinginfreedomeveryday.com/book/

Does this help? Let me know! Leave your
comment.

If you receive this in an email,
click here to leave your comment.

Maria Mar
The Dream Alchemist

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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below.

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Bless Away your Holiday Stress


Bless Away the Holiday Stress

By Maria Mar (c)2009


The tree is up. The lights are on. The music plays. The Holidays are here, full of bright colors, smiles and good spirits. So why do you feel so blah? You go along and do the deeds, but your heart is not in it.


Or perhaps you are feeling quiet the opposite, like a renegade train running so fast that it is missing the Holiday station! Could it be that you are speeding past the Holiday Spirit? Read on and find out what may be causing your Holiday Stress and how to bless it away.

There are four main sources of Holiday Blues or Stress:

Broken Heart, Broken Back, Broken Bag or Broken compass. Let’s take a quick look at each:


Broken Heart

You have experienced an emotional loss. You got divorced or you are remembering a loved one that died recently or during the Christmas season. Basically, you are grieving.


Broken Back

You are the victim of too many pressures, exhaustion or emotional stress. You are rushing around so much that you can’t catch your breath long enough to smell the scent of the Holidays.


Broken Bag

You are jobless, suffered financial cuts or in some other way are experiencing a financial crisis that makes it hard or impossible to shop, give, entertain or celebrate the Holidays as you’ve done
before.


Broken Compass

Something is askew. You can’t find your joy. You feel depleted, empty. You know you should be happy, but you can’t celebrate. You feel that you have lost your Personal Compass. If any of this is true for you or for someone dear to you, then there is one powerful way in which you can release the burden that is keeping you from celebrating the Holidays. This path is not easy, but it is powerful enough to
turn drab blue into bright red and bring the Holidays alive again. It is the path of Self-love.

Self-love is many things to many people, it is different in each situation, and it can be a tall order to tackle. But here we are going to focus on four simple self-love approaches, one for each of the problems above. Each approach has one thing in common: a blessing.

Choose the option you need:

The Wounded Sacred Heart

The sacred medicine of the grieving heart is called the Sacred Wounded Heart. This is often represented by the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Wounded Healer or the Broken Heart of the Spiritual Warrior. The spiritual principle in your broken heart reminds you that new birth pushes through old obstacles, like a green shoot breaking ground. The act that allows this transformation to take place is to feel your pain from a place of courageous surrendering.

Here’s how to do this.

  1. Embrace your grief during a clearly delimited time
    each day.
    Observe when the sadness most often overcomes you and give yourself permission to cry at that time.

  2. Cry or lament fully and completely, surrendering
    to your pain.
    Do not hold back. Wale or howl if you need to.

  3. Give yourself ample time, an hour perhaps.
    More if you need it. It will eventually decrease and you can adjust the time for your needs.

  4. When the time for crying is over each day, shift
    to your Spiritual Warrior.
    Take a hold of your faith. Seating in the consciousness of your immortality, release the belief that you have lost this person.

  5. Then recite this blessing below. (You may write it down and place it on a prominent place.)

  6. Live up to this blessing for the rest of the day until the next time to grieve.

  7. Do not push yourself to be happy in the way we usually define it. Rather, live from the love emanating from your soul, love for yourself and all of creation.

  8. Create an altar or corner where you can each day
    honor the departed
    in whatever ways feel appropriate. Recognize that s/he also has an immortal soul and is still present in your life, but without the flesh dress, as a being of pure light.

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Heart, and open my being to the Sacred Tree of Love and Wisdom growing in this wound. Now I water it with these tears. But each day I also shine on it the sun of my gratitude, love and hope. I allow the Sacred Tree of Love and Wisdom growing within me to emerge from this wound, transforming my life. I seat on the Throne of my Immortal Soul, that suffers no loss, for it is one with everything.”


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Warrior Mother Tree, art by Maria Mar(c)2009. Click to buy the ScreenArt Saver.
The Dance of Stillness

The reason we push ourselves to do so many things, the reason why our to-do list seems to grow and we never feel we are doing enough, is because we confuse our doing with our being. If we are not still
long enough; if we are not quiet long enough to connect to our soul and our
Core Self; then we begin to live as human doings, instead of human beings.

The Medicine for this is the Dance of Stillness. There is a place within you in which you can inhabit the stillness between each movement, the silence between each sound. This place is called The Dance of Stillness.


This dance begins in what I call Sky Mind. You get there by releasing your logical, small, Ego Mind. This is the mind that holds the to-do list and identifies with what you do.


The Dance of Stillness is a way of living that requires years of discipline. But you can start right now and feel the benefits immediately. You will have to re-adjust yourself during the day, as
you forget. But each time you go back to the Dance of Stillness, you
are training your mind to be Sky Mind and yourself to live from that
peaceful place.


Here is a quick start-up that involves five daily actions:

  1. Begin each day with 5 minutes of deep breathing
    and stilling the mind. Concentrate on the inhalation traveling to your belly and then the rest of your body and in the exhalation being as slow as possible.

  2. Make a commitment to shorten your activity list by
    half
    , and to do things in order of priority and ease of flow. Every
    time you finish doing one thing, bless yourself and all people
    involved, receive its goodness in your heart and then release
    any further worry, thought or time investment on this item.

  3. Go straight to the source of love. If you have
    a physical or emotional “broken back” –meaning that you are sick, depressed, injured, physically challenged or overwhelmed, release the to-do list completely. Meditate on how you can flow your love easily, effortlessly, and to whom you want to direct it, and then focus on that, disregarding the cosmetic details that we so often confuse with love.

  4. Take a nap after lunch or when you get home.
    Take a 15 minute nap in the middle of the day. Lay down. You don’t have to fall asleep. Simply close your eyes, let go of worry and breathe deeply, surrendering your burden, your stress and even the task of keeping your body upright to Earth Mother.

  5. Every night, release the obsession with controlling everything, and hand it over to God. Ask Divine Will to carry your burden for you. Say this blessing:

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Back, and allow my body and my
soul to heal naturally and quickly while I release my illusions of control. I shed the cosmetic details that my Ego Mind confuses with love. I go directly to the source of love, showering myself in Divine Love. I spread my love easily and effortlessly, as the Sky spreads its light. I bless myself and all my loved ones in the light of love.



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The Alchemist Touch



Enjoy a storytelling blog post to shift prosperity perception.
This recession is to our national being as a crisis is to our personal being.
A crisis is that moment when a door that had been hidden, its iron hinges rusting, its paint blending with the frame, until we
saw no door, only a wall –suddenly opens.

That creaking, trembling door opening looks like the wall is crumbling down or there’s an earthquake. But it’s really a new path
opening to us.


The earth-shaking change may seem to be an external circumstance that is happening TO you, something life is doing to you, without your consent. But it is something that happens deeply and firstly in your psyche.


When the hinges begin to move against the rust and the door pulls back from the frame, it is hurts. This recession may have left you penniless, jobless or in a very tight –even scary– financial situation.

The question is not “how much I can afford to spend?”


The question is “What are the values that de-rust the hinges of this door and where does it lead?”

As long as you keep trying to spend as you’ve done before or as you think you have to, you will feel deprived and disempowered. You will see the crisis as a thief, not a door. You are placing your attention on the lack. You are insisting on keeping things as they were.


But crisis is a demand and a bridge to change. The Universe is not asking you to change. It is demanding you to. If you trust that the Universe is your ally, that it is your Cosmic Self, then this demand is a bridge to a new, better life.

What to do? Become an Alchemist. Use this alchemical formula.

  1. Release this stress by recognizing the gold in
    this leaden situation.
    What seems like a financial crisis may be a golden opportunity to reclaim the true spirit of Christmas. Make this holiday a time of adventure, deep love and genuine giving, re-focusing from the material to the emotional and spiritual.

  2. Search for ways to return Christmas values into
    your life
    , instead of focusing on spending.

  3. Find out more about volunteering to help others in
    Volunteering for Christmas. (This link goes to my Holiday
    2009 Newsletter edition, where I offer links to resources.)

  4. Give Experiential Gifts. This practice allows
    you to give of yourself with little or no spending while creating
    unforgettable moments with your loved ones. Read about
    Experiential Gifts.

  5. Recite the Alchemical Blessing below every morning
    and evening
    for the duration of the Holidays, and

  6. Have a blast of a Holiday!

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Bag, and track down the hole
that has bled my life force, love and values and that has manifested in this lack. I allow my Soul to lead me back to the source of love and abundance. I allow my Higher Self to guide me to the changes necessary to expand my consciousness and enter the new reality. I
unhinge the locked, rusty door of my old limits and walk into a better life. Though I do not see the silver lining yet, I am grateful and joyful for this golden opportunity.”



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Holy Days Retreat


Awaken the Rose audio and self-love meditation returns you to center and awakens the flow of your love. Click here to read more.
If the Holiday Spirit eludes you, no matter how hard you try, then your Soul is crying for time out.


There are essential things in your life that you need to recalibrate and you can not pretend. Christmas is not a time for
pretending happiness, but for experiencing genuine joy.


Joy is often bubbly, exciting and expansive. But sometimes joy is not about merrymaking, but about entering deep silence and listening to your soul. This insight, or inward looking, can unlock the dam that is stifling your emotions. This, in turn, restores your Personal Compass. As your soul feels listened and loved, and can once again guide you towards your True Infinite Self and your life’s purpose, it
returns to genuine joy, one that is not dependent on festivities and
external trimmings.


You need a Holy Days Retreat. Here’s what to do:

  1. Find or prepare a peaceful, quiet, uninterrupted
    place for your Holy Days Retreat
    . It can be a place in nature, a
    spiritual institution or a room in your own home. You can even open a tent in a corner of the house and ask everyone not to interrupt you while you are there.

  2. Prepare yourself to enter this retreat for a
    specific time.
    If you can, make it at least three days. If you can’t, then assign a specific number of hours each day to that retreat. You can do a sleep-in retreat in your tent. Call upon your Native American Spiritual Guides to teach you how to use this tent as a Ceremonial Tepee.

  3. Choose carefully a few basic Holiday activities
    and release the others. This is not Christmas or New Year as usual. This is a life-changing transition. Acknowledge this and give yourself permission to experience it. Receive the gift that this Holy Days are bringing and trust that it will expand your consciousness and enrich your life.

  4. Create a ceremony or Inward Journey to hear and
    follow your Personal Compass.
    For an excellent guide, see the
    Roadmap Home: Your GPS to Inner Peace.
    (When you click on this link you will go to the Resource section in my Holiday 2009 Newsletter.)

  5. Recite the Holy Day Compass Blessing below every morning and night during the Holidays.

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Compass, and I still my mind
and body in order to listen to my Soul’s soft voice and wise guidance. I let go of control, rush and busyness. I return to the state of Grace and Receptivity that brings the voice of my Soul to the foreground of my consciousness. I welcome the guidance of my Circle of Light and my Higher Self and receive the blessings of this special Holy Days, bringing me back home to my True Self.”



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Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. Find out more at Catch
the Dream Express.
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The Angel of Trust Speaks

This is the Angel of Trust speaking. Here is its message:

The Angel of Trust speaks

The Angel of Trust speaks

Trust your vision. It is God’s masterpiece painted inside your eyes.

Trust your desire. It is God’s song ringing in your heart.

Trust your passion. It is God’s dance whirling in your belly.

Trust your courage. It is God’s strength dashing through your blood.

Trust your Faith. It is God’s certainty rising from your bones.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

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You can use this post in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Love them, but leave them

Love them, but leave them

Releasing those who keep you trapped in the old world

Art by Maria Mar(c)2000

Art by Maria Mar(c)2000

Today I am writing about a painful subject. It is not easy to release habits. But when you realize that a friend you love, or an old client to whom you have dedicated lots of time, is keeping you spinning in old, harmful habits. What do you do?

I am talking about those moments in life when you have crossed the threshold into a new world. You left dysfunctional habits behind. You stepped into your dream. You released the thoughts and responses that were keeping you from being happy and fulfilling your potential.

You are now your dream, or closer to it than ever. In this new world, you feel the Essence of who you are. You are strong in your faith. You are nurturing your dream every day. You are sustaining your Dream Discipline, dedicating time and space to yourself and your dream. You have given yourself permission to be happy.

Many of the people who love you have understood that you changed. They have supported you in your dreams. They have been able to adapt to your new dynamics. By you changing your set of beliefs, thoughts and attitudes, your relationship with most people around you has improved greatly.

But there is this friend…

There is still this old client…

There are sometimes those who refuse to change because they are the slaves of the Dog of Habit. They allow the Dog of Habit to piss all over you and themselves. They chose not to change.

There are those who danced well with you when you did not set limits, when you caretook them in their every whim, when you kept giving when they were not receiving.

But the minute you set limits, stop caretaking and stand in your value, these people begin to escalate their old, dysfunctional behavior. This is their way of exerting control in a life that feels out of control. Your change feels to them as if they are losing control. They cannot honor your new dynamics. Basically, they do not fit in your new world.

What then?

People are not like a dress that you can take off. Love is not a habit that you can simply release, is it?

Well, sometimes it is.

We believe that friends are forever. This is not true. Love may be forever, but a friend may not. The love you have for a person, if it is true, if it has to do with their Essence, is eternal.

But what happens when that person herself does not honor her own Essence? Can you love her for the beauty of her soul when she is betraying that soul trying to control and manipulate others? When he is dishonoring that soul by being unfaithful or by being insensitive to others?

My answer is this. Love them, but leave them.

If you do not release these people in a good way, out of love, when there is still the possibility of simply moving away gently ~you may come to the point of a serious clash. Then you will have to leave in the middle of a fight or in a bitter way.

When someone you love is toxic to you, you need to release this person as an act of love for yourself and for him or her.

By toxic, I do not mean that they are finding it difficult to deal with your change. That’s normal. I don’t mean that they “make you” feel this or that way. No one “makes” you feel. That is giving your power away. If this is the case, assume the responsibility for your feelings, attitudes and responses.

What I mean by toxic is that they are not willing to respect your limits. Toxic to you are friends who repeatedly dishonor or betray you. Toxic are friends who play mind games. Toxic are people who are unwilling or unable to see how their acts affect others, how they are affecting you. Toxic people are blamers. They always have an excuse and a finger pointing somewhere else. There is no way that you can come to terms with people like that. You will be trying forever. Toxic are those who take, but do not receive. Toxic are those who take, but do not give.

Toxic people take you for granted. Their actions (and sometimes even their words) consistently reveal that they not value you. They put you down with words or actions. They make you invisible. They refuse to name the beauty and love you bring into their lives.

Toxic friends trample on your faith and speak only cynical words that take away all the magic and goodness in life.

Toxic friends may be charmers, but they cannot commit to love, to you or to their own words. These toxic friends do not know what they want. They keep asking for your help, only to drop the entire project the minute you committed your contacts or time to their support. You end up exhausted and your reputation is damaged with these toxic friends.

Toxic are people who begin a full-fledge war against your happiness, who do everything they can to bring you back to a place of suffering, so that you stay with them in their misery.

Toxic clients are those who keep asking for more and take everything, but do not RECEIVE it. Because they are not allowing the love in what you give to touch them, they do not FEEL the value of it. As a result, they always want more and nothing is enough. They do not value the gifts because in their emotional world, they have not let the gift in.

They do not trust or value your expertise. Because they do not value themselves, they distrust the value of anyone associated with them. Once they hire you, they do not value you. They will ask for others’ opinions and act on those opinions, even if these other people are not experts. They will not follow your counsel and when their actions lead them to failure, they will fail to see that it was not your counsel, but their stupidity that lead them to that end.

Toxic clients haggle about the price of your service. They pay late and come up with excuses. They do not do their work and then complain that your service is not working. They give you the materials late and procrastinate, so that you cannot fulfill your contract with them. Then they come back after the contract date is over and want you to be their time slave and keep on working for them.

It is hard to understand how saying goodbye can be an act of love. But if your love for another is betraying your love for yourself, then it will soon become poison, not love. The only loving thing to do is leave.

Most of us hold on to toxic love because we are afraid to be alone. We are afraid to be rejected. We are afraid to go out into a world full of strangers. Will we make new friends? Will they love us? So we stay in toxic relationships.

If you are facing such a relationship now, use the descriptions in this blog to evaluate it. Is this friend or client toxic? Is your love or loyalty for this person running against your loyalty and love for yourself?

If the answer is yes, love them, but leave them.

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Yes, I know it’s easier said than done. I’m not going to lie to you that it is easy. That’s why I am creating the Toxic Relations Self-help Kit to answer all your questions. You can pre-order it by clicking here. You can also take 2 minutes and contribute your voice and experience to the kit by answering the Toxic Relations survey (and get a $5 discount if you purchase.)

I see people running away from pain all the time. Most people do. They stay in miserable jobs, abusive relationships, diminishing friendships and tiny existential rooms… all because they are afraid of the pain they will experience if they choose to change. As a consequence, they experience a long, self-destructive, hard pain that increases as time goes by and eventually becomes disease, depression and despair. Running away from pain leads you directly towards harder, longer pain. Compare to that, the pain of change is but a fraction, and then freedom follows.

You are an atom in the divine body. You are a gift to the world. You’ve worked so hard to learn, heal and build a good live. Love yourself enough to walk away from that which diminishes you.

No one deserves that you betray your soul, your happiness and your potential. No one deserves that you go back to your old world, becoming a ghost just for them. That option is not love. It is not love for them. And it is certainly not love for yourself.

Maria Mar(c)

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DO NOT copy this article. If you want to use this article for your blog or ezine, please contact Maria Mar. The duplication quota for this article online has been reached. Email Maria for a re-make.

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Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

RESOURCES:

This is a good article by Guy Finley. It shows you how to recognize 4 types of toxic people.

http://stason.org/articles/life/self-growth/Stay-Away-From-These-Four-Types-of-Toxic-People.html

For more information, visit Guy at:

http://www.guyfinley.com

The Toxic Relationship Self-help Kit: Love them, but leave them.