permission to-deserve-what-you-want

Give yourself the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed

 

This is a series of articles dedicated to helping women give ourselves the 7 Basic Permissions to succeed. Scroll down to subscribe to entire series in an Ebook Series that will be sent to your email, one ebook a month, for easy digestion.

Note: This post is an update from the previous post by the same name. I tried to include the first article here, but it was too long and the continuation links got broken. Sorry about that. I’ve taken care of this by updating the article to a shorter version and providing the ebook series for those who can benefit from more detail. Thanks for your patience, and enjoy the article below, which has some new insights.

 

ARTICLE 1:

Give yourself the Permission to DESERVE what you want

 

First permission to succeed: Permission to deserve what you want

First permission to succeed: Permission to deserve what you want

 

I’m talking on the phone with a great international artist. I congratulate her on the success of her current exhibition. Suddenly I hear a shocking confession.

“Yes, I know. It’s been well received. But you know what? I really do not FEEL like a success.”

As a soul healer and shaman, I am a psychic huntress. I track down patterns of energy not only in individuals, but in groups. For months now I’ve been on the scent of a mortal enemy of women’s success and wellbeing.

This enemy brings a scent of despair and diminishes a woman’s intrinsic value. It minimizes her contributions. It transforms a woman’s self- perception from success to insufficiency.

The Question

I’m chatting with a friend in a café. This is a woman who I admire, love and respect. She is a cultural leader, an exquisite poet and a college professor. She acknowledges that she is not working in the way she wants, not living her potential to its fullest. The obstacles seem insurmountable and she feels trapped.

I went home and hunted down the unasked question in the conversation.

“Why is it so hard for me to do what I want to do?”

The Answer

The long history of denial that women have experienced collectively is embedded in the individual energy patterns of each woman.  The problem is not that we consciously rate ourselves as a failure. Most of the women I interviewed knew the objective value of their achievements.

Women not give themselves emotional permission to succeed. The denial to succeed is subconscious, emotional and implicit. This denial works as a hidden interference to our conscious intent to create a fulfilling life.

The Underbelly of Success

The stories that we tell ourselves are rarely the real story. When we tell ourselves the reasons why we can’t do what we want to do, we focus on external circumstances, usually having to do with how giving to others take precedence over our own desires. But that is a lie we’ve been told and we keep telling ourselves.

If we look at the underbelly of success, however, it is rarely about circumstances and much more about permissions. It is about giving ourselves the emotional and spiritual permissions to be, have, create and enjoy what we desire.

Women need to restore the energy gateways for these permissions. They are not built-in, as is usually the case in most men, who have been socialized for centuries in the belief that they are made to achieve things in the world.

Many of us unwittingly fall into the role of victim, in spite of being powerful women, often leaders and high achievers. We do this by pitting our right to succeed against the wellbeing of our loved ones. Guilt is the glue that keeps us stuck, though we rarely recognize its scent in our self-sacrifice.

Why does an accomplished writer, artist, expert or leader who has taught, guided, helped and empowered hundreds of people feel unsuccessful? Because she is serving others in ways that do not fulfill her Soul’s needs. Success needs to be measured by the degree of fulfillment of your Soul, not by social criteria seen from outside the Self. I call this Success with Soul.

Many spiritual paths tell you that you are here to serve others, not for yourself. I disagree. We came here for our own evolution. That is not in opposition to love or service. We are one. You are a mirror to me and part of me. When you honor your essence, you give me permission to honor mine. The war between self and others is part of the selflessness myth that has limited women for centuries.

But there is something else.

For centuries we have sustained community, nourished families and transformed societies without as much as a thank you. We have gotten used to trying harder and giving more. We are seeking perfection as the gateway to give ourselves permission to succeed.

If we have achieved mastery of our creativity, but are not yet prosperous, we feel that we have failed.  If we have achieved prosperity, but do not have a love partner, we again feel that we are not that much of a success. We throw away the baby with the basinet, so to speak.

Why is it so hard to give yourself what you want?

1.       Because you believe that if you are happy, someone will suffer. For centuries, you’ve been sold in the definition of love as self-sacrifice.

2.       Because your relationship, empathic and nurturing gifts have been historically pitted against you. The training you’ve received on how to be a mother, friend, daughter or caregiver is to give by cutting off pieces of yourself. But you cannot subtract from what you don’t have.

3.       Because you believe that you are not good enough to have what you want. You believe that if you take care of others first, then and only then will you deserve the right to have what you want.

Here’s a solution you can try at home to create new gateways to give yourself permission to succeed.

Make a list of seven things that make you happy or that your body and soul need right now. These things need to be small enough that they are doable now, but challenging enough that you have not given yourself these things in a long time. For the next seven weeks, give yourself one of these things once a week.

Examples:

  • Take a day off and go to a SPA to get a massage.
  • Give yourself a warm food bath with salts before going to bed.
  • Spend a week-end in a retreat to rest and relax.
  • Take a creative workshop to learn or improve one of your talents.
  • Write a poem or create a song expressing your Unique Essence.
  • Dance under the moon.

Offer your happiness as a gift to the world.

—-The End—-

Copyright Maria Mar©2010.

 

RESOURCES: FREE!
Give yourself the 7 Basic Permissions to Succeed

Ebook Series

I have compiled the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed in a series of free ebooks. To immediately enjoy the first ebook and be notified of the other six ebooks in the series, which will come out once a month, subscribe here.

 

“I want to Flourish!”

Online Fiesta

Enjoy free videos, gifts and prizes in the “I Want to Flourish” Online Fiesta, helping you to release the hidden interference to your success. Click here.

 

I want to flourish fiesta offers you free videos, gifts and prizes to help you get unstuck and flourish.

The Success Seed

Success-Gardening Kit

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  • Connect to your higher self.
  • Align with your infinite potential.
  • Remember your life purpose.
  • Recall your Unique Essence.
  • Discover your Personal Strengths.
  • Unbury your Karmic Gifts.
  • Learn how the wounds you’ve inherited can become your Secret Tools for Mastery
  • Obtain the seven spiritual measures of success.

Three audio meditations that take you in a shamanic journey of deep transformation and healing, plus ebook with daily practices and meditations and a bonus ebook series, Give yourself the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed. READ MORE.

 

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Authors Bio:

Maria Mar is an author, poet, healer and spiritual teacher whose life mission is to inspire you to achieve personal freedom, unlock your creative potential and live a life of magic and delight. A PBS-featured performer and visual artist, Maria has freed her vast creative potential and helps you do the same, designing a life and work experience that fulfills your soul’s purpose. Maria marries her artistry and imagination with her wisdom and energy tools as a shaman to offer powerful tools for self-transformation, healing and manifestation. If you are interested in mentoring with Maria Mar, visit http://www.dreamalchemist.com.

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Why can’t I get motivated?

Why can’t I get motivated?

By Maria Mar(c)2010

Why can't you get motivated? Find out!

“Why can’t I get motivated?” Elizabeth asked me.

There are two different scenarios for depleted motivation: temporary and chronic.

I’ll cover the first one in this blog and the second one in a second blog, so stay tune. (Subscribe to this blog to get my weekly articles. Click the button to the upper right corner.)

Here’s the list of probable issues that are causing your de-motivation. To see the solutions, see the second section, below.

Temporary lack of motivation

If you are suffering from a temporary lack of motivation, then you are usually motivated, but find yourself in a motivational slump. Here are the causes that may be causing this slump.

1. Overwork. If you are burn-out, your body is depleted of energy. Your momentum slows down and your motivation suffers.

2. Taking too many ineffective actions. When your actions do not bring results, there is no renewal to the emotional energy you are using to generate them. Lack of results is like lack of food.

3. Plans and goals are not in harmony with your Purpose. Your path is not clear. The goals, plans or strategies you’ve laid out are not truly satisfying you. They may not be what your Soul desires or they may not be in harmony with your Life Purpose.

4. Doing too many difficult things for too long. Change is hard work. When you are changing the way you think, act and live, you are creating new pathways in your brain. This takes energy and it can take a toll in your passion.

5. Working hard without giving yourself rewards. If all you do is work, and you give yourself nothing to recognize the value of your work, then you are an oppressive boss to yourself. Your own “employees” are going to slow down and sabotage the enterprise.

6. Doing too many things you don’t like. Every project, whether it is personal or professional, has exciting, fun, creative things that you like to do and things that don’t like that much. If you are doing too many of the later and not enough of the things you like, you are killing your motivation.

7. Not receiving the results. Sometimes you expect certain results, but you get others instead. If you do not receive the results you get, because they are not the ones you expected, then you are repelling success. You are trying to control the flow of life, and rejecting the blessings life brings. You are depleting your own life force by placing a dike of limited expectations.

8. Feeling alone and abandoned. Have you asked for help? Have you engaged other experts to collaborate, guide or support you in your work? Have you shared your achievements, no matter how small, with your friends? If not, then you are trapped in the trance of Orphanhood. How can you be motivated?

9. Toxic environment. Are you surrounded by people who diminish your value, pressure you into betraying your dreams or constantly criticize or disbelief your goals? An environment that does not nurture your self-esteem and your dreams is toxic to your motivation.

Solutions

1. Overwork. Take a week or at least 4 days off. Get up late, go to bed early and take a nap. You should sleep at least 10 hours and rest at least 2 more. Spend at least one hour a day in nature. For women, being close to running water and walking barefoot on the earth renew our energy. Trees are powerful healers. Walk among them. Do things you like; alone and with your friends. Ask your Inner Child what she wants to do and then go have fun. When you regain energy and reconnect to the reason why you are doing what you are doing, the motivation will come back.

2. Taking too many ineffective actions. Your External Actions in the world are not working because there are hidden interferences “unweaving” what you weave, like the Myth of Penelope. You need to take Internal Actions to release the hidden interferences. Join my “I Want to Flourish” Fiesta to find free knowledge and resources.

3. Plans and goals are not in harmony with your Purpose. You need to stop your hectic doing and go within to listen to your Soul. You may be following Borrowed Dreams or Distorted Dreams. You need to go back to center in order to find your true path. Pre-order (or order) my novel. It will take you on a journey to heal this.

4. Doing too many difficult things for too long. You need to live in balance. Schedule fun, rest and pampering into your calendar. Balance difficult tasks with easy tasks. Give yourself time in the movies, a walk in the park and extra sleep during difficult jobs.

5. Working hard without giving yourself rewards. Reduce the number of tasks in your daily to-do list. Make sure you do the recommendations in the previous point. Buy some bright stars stickers and stick one at the end of each done task. At the end of each day, give yourself a round of applause and declare your accomplishments proudly. When you finish a project or achieve a goal, give yourself a great reward. Stop trying to do everything better. Value yourself and every little thing you do.

6. Doing too many things you don’t like. Balance your daily work by doing one thing you don’t like early in the morning followed by two things you love to do. Get or hire help to do the things you hate and the things that you are not good at.

7. Not receiving the results. When you send things into the world, open your mind and release the outcome. Receive every positive result that comes back. Open your heart and receive it in the knowledge that Life Mother knows better, and that Divine Design is at work. You will see how this seemingly insipid result multiplies its blessings in the future, better and farther than you could ever imagine.

8. Feeling alone and abandoned. Find your place of belonging with like-hearted people who support you. Ask your supportive friends for help. If you are unused to asking for help, you probably do not even see how others can help you. That’s your Orphanhood leading your life. You are not alone. Make an effort to find ways in which your friends can help you. Share your dreams with positive friends. Celebrate your goals with a party, dinner out or picnic.

9. Toxic environment. Examine how you invite, allow or are hooked with toxic people. Find memberships or communities of like-minded people who are seeking similar things. Get a mentor or coach. Avoid people who drain you or diminish your trust in your capacity or your dream, even if they are family. See them less, do not talk about your dreams or goals with them and place strong limits that disallow any negative comments. It may be tough at first, but they’ll eventually know not to step past your limits.

If you need more help, consider working under my mentorship and guidance.

Click here for more information.

Click here to register.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to achieve personal freedom, unlock your creative potential and live a life of magic and delight. She offers books, digital products and guidance, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express. If you want to flourish under Maria’s mentorship and guidance, visit http://www.dreamalchemist.com.

This material is the copyright of Maria Mar©2010. You can use this tip in your newsletter, blog or other digital media as long as you keep the copyright and biographical paragraph with the active link and send us notification.

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—-The End—-

Who’s the boss of you?

Who’s the boss of you?


Watch this free Video and find out!


Click graphic to see Video.

  • Is there an
    aspect of your life that seems out of control?

  • Do you find
    yourself in some “unwanted” situation that makes you fee trapped or stuck?

  • Are you working
    hard towards a dream or goal, but feel that you are spinning your wheels on place?

Then enjoy my beautiful

Free Virtual Tour and Ecourse!

You will:

  • Relax and enjoy
    a beautiful video and engaging stories.

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    Aha! moments that may open new insights into your situation.

  • Find the hidden
    source of interference in your subconscious that is creating the “static” that keeps you trapped.


Includes a self-assessment tool

to
find out which of the


6 main hidden
interference patterns in women

may be holding you back.


Click graphic to see Video.

In this Video Series

I reveal secrets that I only share in my
exclusive private mentorship.

  • At no cost.

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  • See at your convenience.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at http://www.dreamalchemist.com

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Success is an inside job

Success is an inside job

Introduction to the Hidden Interference

that Sabotages your Success

By Maria Mar©2010

Art by Maria Mar(c)2010.

Are you a success? How do you measure this? We often measure success by external results. This is a mistake because if you have yet to see those results, you will feel a failure! Success is built from the inside out, so that it is always there, no matter what is happening around you, because YOU are the success!

How can you be a success if your dream or goal is yet to manifest? If you want a soulmate, but are single; if you want prosperity, but are broke; if you want visibility, but few people know you, how can you see yourself as a success?

The answer to that question is simple, but if I answer it right now, you won’t believe the reply. If you are feeling frustrated or lacking, this powerful, yet simple truth will sound hollow. You will simply let it slide because it will be difficult to grasp its power from your current state of mind. There is a journey you need to take in order to understand the nature of success. It is a quest. As all quests, it is fundamentally an Inward Journey.

In this post I am going to open the door to that Inward Journey. If you like what you see and feel as you read, you are welcome to walk through that open door. There is a link at the end of this article that leads you to that threshold.

The Power of Perception

Shamans have known for millennia that perception creates the world. Today, quantum scientists are finally catching up with this universal Law of Manifestation. But most people, trained at home and school, are still being taught the following:

  • Reality is an objective, unchanging phenomena.
  • You cannot change the situations you find yourself in because they are objective phenomena that have already been created and cannot be changed.
  • What happens externally (objective) has no relation to what happens internally (subjective).
  • You are born into a set of unchanging circumstances and you meet more circumstances in your life, all of them created by others, sometimes long ago, and you have no power to change these circumstances because you have no inherence in how they were created.
  • The only way to change your circumstance is through hard work over a long period of time, using will power and external actions in the world.
  • Your thoughts have nothing to do with what happens to you.
  • Your emotions are irrelevant. The best thing to do is repress them, as they can get you into trouble because they are irrational and often bad for you.
  • Desire, ambition, wanting and longing are bad for the spirit because they belong to the ego, to the material world.
  • BUT socially speaking, it is good to be ambitious and want a better life.
  • If you want change, you have to “make it happen” by taking actions that change your reality. (But wait! Wasn’t reality an objective, unchanging phenomena?)

When you look at these series of beliefs, you may immediately see that some are false, others outdated, some conflicting and all of them are disempowering. You may consciously disagree with them.

The question is what does your subconscious belief?

For many of us most of the time, our subconscious is carrying this false idea of reality in our programmed automatic reactions, fear-based emotions, negative expectations and learned false beliefs. These beliefs are instantly transmitted to our autonomic nervous system and comprised more than 95% of our responses to the world.

What does that mean to you?

It means that when you see an obstacle in your path to your dreams or goals, you will perceive it as an external, objective obstacle standing on your way; an obstacle that was placed by known or unknown forces outside of your own intention and therefore cannot be changed with your intent, thought, emotions or any other power within you. (Remember that in our old learned belief systems, there is no relation between the inner or subjective and the outer or objective reality.)

If you’ve learned to see the world as something external that “happens” to you, then it is likely that your autonomic reaction may be a flight or fight response from your sympathetic nervous system. You’ll push, huff and puff until you are exhausted. If the obstacle does not budge, you give up in defeat. Does that sound familiar?

Consider a third option. What would happen if you release this learned belief for a moment? I am referring to the learned, outdated belief that your external reality is an objective phenomena outside your inner realm of possibilities.

Consider, just as an experiment, that the obstacle in your path is BOTH:

  • An external, objective obstacle created by external forces

AND

  • A reflection of a hidden inner obstacle in your inner life that attracts or projects itself as an external barrier, with the conscious intent by Universal Divine Intelligence to bring it into your conscious view, to assist you in transforming it.

Does that change your attitude and feelings about the obstacles you are facing in your path to success? Good!

With that Window of Perception opened, let me share with you what I have found about the hidden interferences that sabotage our success.

How I discovered hidden interferences

Would you believe that the woman who created the branding, design and product covers in our websites and blogs, who has created many of the art work for our visual meditations and greetings, including the art work in this post, spent more than 20 years of her life telling herself that she was no good at visual art? I know this to be a fact. You see, I am that woman.

If in one year I began to draw, design, illustrate and create 3-D art, and within five years I became a professional visual artist, what stopped me from doing this before, in the more than 20 years I ran after artists to create my designs and stage sets because I was convinced I could not do them?

What I believed to be an “objective” limitation, a circumstance that defined my life, was nothing but an internal limitation, a learned belief that I carried in my subconscious mind. This is how hidden interference limits our talents, steal our dreams and lead us into a life and work design that betrays our true nature.

The root of all obstacles is within you, as is the power to create your world

I did not know then what I know now: your desires are the expression of your buried talents. When you long with all your Soul to do something, it is because it is IN you, no matter what others say. It is a power and talent pulsating inside you, something that you MUST do because your Soul needs to fulfill this path. This longing is your Soul’s purpose stirring inside you. Nothing can stop this force. Not “what they say.” Not lack of skills or resources. Not any obstacle on your way. Nothing. The only one stopping your power is YOU!

Inside you there is a great leader, a wise expert and gorgeous diva. She is waiting for you to remove the limited beliefs and secret mantras that run through your mind, hiding her from your own view. You can feel her pulsating in your heart. That’s why you feel a spiritual restlessness that pushes you to change.

You try to free this awesome force within you, but the hidden interference you subconsciously carry shuts down the pathways of your mind. When this happens…

  • You hold back.
  • You conform, betraying your Unique Essence or cutting-off some part of yourself to fit others’ formulas or expectations.
  • Doubt makes you stumble instead of leap.
  • Instead of moving forward, you dive back in, trying to “fix” it, to “improve” yourself, succumbing to your perfectionist and missing the opportunity.
  • You sacrifice your dream, stealing from yourself to give to others, whether it is time, attention, energy or your personal truth that you steal.
  • Your fear-based emotions escalate and you fall back into your Comfort Zone.
  • You hit a wall and go around in circles.

I can help you break free

from the pull that holds you back.

Click here to go to the

VIRTUAL TOUR

Are you ready for my personal mentorship to design the life/work of your dreams? Click to read more.

I can help you break freefrom the limitations you suffer.

They are illusions projected by your ego mind.

Burst those bubbles and see your life change!

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express. Read more about mentoring personally with Maria Mar at http://www.dreamalchemist.com

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Talk Crazy

Talk Crazy

Are you addicted to meaningless talk?

We have gone a bit Talk Crazy these days. Well, do be honest, it’s not just a bit. We have a full fledged new addiction: GadgetTalk. I simply call it the Talk Crazy addiction. It  has reached epidemic proportions. If you don’t believe me, look at people as you walk down the streets. Look around in the bus or waiting rooms. At least 5 out of 10 people are talking as they walk, drive or wait. At least this is the New York Experience.

This blog helps you to take a quick informal self-assessment test to find out if you are Talk Crazy, while giving you something to think about when you consider how you communicate.

Mind you, if you realize that you are Talk Crazy, this doesn’t mean that you are crazy! This is just an informal assessment and the term a humorous way at looking at our communication age.

If you score high in the Talk Crazy scale, it may mean however, that you need to find a more meaningful and balanced way to communicate, relate to others and above all, communicate with yourself.

The Self-assessment questions below help you to:

  • Find out if you are Talk Crazy
  • To what degree are you addicted to GadgetTalk or meaningless talk
  • Discover what aspects of communication you are neglecting
  • Discover how you can enrich your communication experience.

There are four types of points for the score.

  • T points
  • F points
  • I points
  • M points

They will be explained at the end.

SEGMENT A: Communication tools

How many of these you have?

  1. Cell phone or
  2. Email account (1)
  3. Social network- one
  4. Email account (more than 1)
  5. Voip Services (Like Skype)
  6. Blackberry
  7. Chat service
  8. Social network- up to 3
  9. Other document sharing, photo or video sharing services
  10. Social network- more than 3
  11. I access my social networks through my cellphone/blackberry
  12. Online community, memberships, clubs, etc.

SCORE:

  • One T-point for each checked from items 1-5.
  • Three T-points for each checked from items 6-8
  • Five T-points for each checked from items 9-12

Communication Tools

There is no good or bad when it comes to how many communication tools you use or possess. Only you know what your personal and professional needs are. If you are in business or in communications, marketing, security or public relations fields, you may need a high level of communication gadgets. High or low scores here are only the basis for further assessment.

There is however, one question you may ask yourself.

Do I really need all these gadgets?

Having a lot of gadgets and services does not necessarily enrich the quality of your life or of your communications. The next segments will help you assess if this is true. If it is, then they will also let you know what areas you are neglecting now and what you can do to enhance the quality of your communications, relationships and of your lifestyle.

SEGMENT B: Frequency

How much do you use each of these gadgets and services in any given day? Choose only ONE option, the one that is the closest to your experience.

  1. I use some of these once or twice a week, but not every day.
  2. I use my cell phone/blackberry less than 5 times a day and the rest of the gadgets about once or twice a week.
  3. I use my phone/blackberry around 10 times a day and at least two of the rest of the gadgets or services  once a day.
  4. I use my phone/blackberry around 20 times a day and at least three of the rest of the gadgets or services a minimum of three times a day.
  5. I am on one of these at least every hour.
  6. At any given time in any given day, I am using one or more of these gadgets and services to communicate.

SCORE:

  • One F-point for item 1
  • Two F-points for item 2
  • Three F-points of item 3
  • Four F-points for item 4
  • Five F-points for item 5
  • Six F-points for item 6

Frequency

Once again, there is no judgment about the frequency to which you use your communication gadgets, because only you know what you need personally and professionally. If you are in security or if you are a doctor, you may not be able to turn off your cell phone, for example.

On the other hand, you may be using your gadgets as tools of avoidance. The question you may want to ask is this:

Am I using my time, attention and energy effectively to enrich my life and attain my goals through my communications?

If your communication frequency is distracting you from using your time, attention and energy in ways that manifest your dreams, deepen your relationships and enhance your finances and your quality of life, then it is addictive or at least needs to be balanced.

Yes, but…. Are you communicating?

You have the tools and you use them more or less frequently, but are you communicating?

Here’s the catch. Communicating has two meanings. Here’s what the Encyclopedia of Public Health says about communication.

“Communication is the production and exchange of information and meaning by use of signs and symbols.”

This presents us with a challenge.  There are TWO different aspects of communication: information and meaning.

Let’s do another level of self-assessment to distinguish how you are using each of these aspects.

SEGMENT C: Information and Meaning

In a scale of 0-10, 0 being never and 10 always, how much do you communicate about any of the items below while communicating with any of the gadgets above? (Give yourself a score of 0-10 for each item.)

  1. What I am doing.
  2. What I did.
  3. What I plan to do.
  4. What just happened around me.
  5. News.
  6. Information about logistics: where, who, what, when, etc.
  7. Information about problems that need to be solved.
  8. What happened to someone else or what someone else did or say.
  9. About something I am hearing or reading (music, book, etc.)
  10. Venting reactive feelings, like anger, frustration, etc.
  11. Communicating my opinion on what is happening.
  12. How I am feeling about myself and my life.
  13. How I perceive the situations going on.
  14. The meaning that I perceive in this situation and how it affects my life.
  15. About the dreams, desires, goals and challenges that I am facing and how I feel about them.
  16. Sharing the beauty or blessings that I see around me or that I experience internally.
  17. Reflecting on the meaning or consequences of things that are happening in the world.
  18. Listening to the other person attentively, to be there for them.

SCORE:

  • One I-point for each item for scores of 1-4 in items 1-10
  • Three I-points for each item for scores of 6-10 for items 1-10
  • One M-point for each item for scores of 1-4 for items 11-18
  • Three M-points for each item for scores of 5-10 for items 11-18

Information to meaning ratio

If you are like most people, you scored high on items 1-10 and very low if at all in items 11 to 15. What this means is that you are using only the first definition of communication. You are exchanging information. But you are rarely sharing meaning.

This is, in part due to the nature of the new gadgets. They are used on the run, in public or in an unsecured medium.

But it has more to do with our own addictive society.

In this society we are not taught self-intimacy. We are not guided in the knowledge of how to process emotions. We are rarely given support or time to reflect on our lives. This creates an addictive society in which people are constantly doing, talking, focusing outwards and keeping busy as a means of avoiding their personal truth.

Now we have the perfect tools to exploit our Talk Crazy addictions. We can talk 24 hours a day every day. We can even talk while we sleep, thanks to scheduled emails and messages!

We can escape from ourselves by talking to others.

That is my definition of being Talk Crazy.

Are you Talk Crazy?

Here’s one last set of questions to get your score:

SEGMENT D: The Experience of Meaning

During each day, I take time to do any of the following:

  1. Meditate
  2. Commune with nature
  3. Just being
  4. Silence
  5. Reflect on my dreams and goals
  6. Receive and give thanks for my blessings
  7. Do some body awareness practice or discipline, like Yoga, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, Pranic Healing, etc. (Movement for body awareness and connection to the inner body, not to lose weight or stay fit.)
  8. Time to eat in peace and quiet.
  9. Creative time to paint, draw, listen to music, sing, dance, etc.
  10. Time to talk with a friend about our feelings and to share our deepest experiences or reflections.
  11. Write in a journal about life, my experience and my spirituality.
  12. Read to enhance my perception and understanding of experience.
  13. Seek or share inspiration.
  14. Write a poem or story to communicate what I’ve experienced.
  15. Send an email, letter or other communication sharing these experiences to my friends or list.

SCORE:

Three M-points for any item you select in this list.

The Experience of Meaning

It may sound strange to you that I talk about the experience of meaning. Isn’t meaning something you think about? That belief is at the core of our social addiction and the way it creeps out in our communication.

We are dissociated from the physical, sensual, soulful and spiritual experience of the meaning of our life. In this isolation, there is a sense of orphanhood, meaninglessness and vacuum that we then try to feel with activity, external actions and focus and by thinking and talking. We use talking as a mask that hides this existential black hole.

The cure for this Talk Crazy addiction as well as to all the other control addictions that mask our emptiness is precisely the experience of meaning. When we experience the meaning of our life, we heal. This experience requires the integration of:

  • Our body, our inner experience of our body (vs manipulating our body from the outside to fit into some mental ideal)
  • Our soul, our Unique Essence and its wisdom, its knowledge of our life purpose
  • Our emotional truth, felt authentically instead of used for drama, blaming, acting out or repressing our personal truth
  • Our spiritual and energy being as experienced in the vibration of our energy body and our higher wisdom.

This integration happens organically as we practice Conscious Living. The last segment of this self-assessment gives you the experiences of conscious living you need to begin healing your addiction or bring your Talk Crazy obsession into balance.

Let’s find out what your score is and what that means about your communication experience.

Add up all your points and gather them on this way:

SEGMENT A: Total of T-points

This is your score for Communication Tools. If it is high, then this means that you use a lot of communication tools. This is neither good nor bad, depending on the rest of the score. After all, you may NEED these tools. That’s why they exist, because they help us!

SEGMENT B: Total of F-points

This is your score for Frequency of use. If it is high, again, this only means that you use your communication tools very frequently. You may need to, so that by itself doesn’t make you TalkCrazy. You could consider if you really need to use them as much as you do. But the important factors are the Information to Meaning ratio and the Meaning Experience score below. These let you know if you are using your gadgets to engage in your addiction or if you are using them to convey your message to the world and facilitate a better life for yourself and your family.

SEGMENT C: Get your I/M ratio. This is your Information/Meaning ratio. To get this, add your I-points (information) and your M-points (meaning). Now divide your I-points by your M-points. That’s your I/M ratio.

For example:

30 I-points/10 M-points=30/10 ratio. This means that you may be communicating 3X more information than meaningful communication.

10 I-points/ 20 M points= 10/2o. This means that you may be communicating twice as much meaningful communication as you share information.

Depending on your purpose and expertise field, you may want to keep or to recalibrate this ratio. If you are in the business of facts and you got an disproportionately high Information ratio, you are doing fine. If, however, you are in business and you are using your gadgets and services to communicate and sale, you may be missing the point altogether. How are you making your prospects feel through the mood, emotions and knowledge that you consistently communicate? Are you addressing their dreams, needs and experiences? Addressing these issues will bring your meaning score up. If you communicate for personal purposes and you got a high information ratio, you may be in the habit of talking about facts and news to cover the void left by your lack of self-intimacy or of intimacy in your relations. Use segments C and D to improve this.

Total of M-points

Add your M points from Segment C and D. The results is your Meaning Index. This index conveys not only how meaningful your communication may be, but how you convey and experience meaning in your life.

Maximum score=69

If you score between 69 and 45, you may be communicating and experiencing meaning in a rich manner, including feelings, reflections, knowledge and experience.

If you score between 44 and 30, you are probably sharing enough meaning for your particular field or goal, though you may want to examine any area in which you can improve.

If you score between 29 and 20, you need to examine how to communicate more meaning, not just facts, in order to enrich your communication. Unless, of course, you are in the business of just facts.

If you score less than 20, examine carefully how you are living and communicating. Unless your job is to convey just facts, you may be engaging in GadgetTalk addiction as a means to escape your personal truth, avoid intimacy or as a learned limitation. Use Segments C and D as a guide to enrich both, your communication and the experience of meaning in your life.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com

http://www.dreamalchemist.com

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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Book Review: The Leader who had no title


Dream Alchemist’s Book Review

By Maria Mar



Author: Robin Sharma

Book: The Leader Who had No Title
A Modern Fable on Real Success in Business and in  Life


“No one’s unimportant. There are ono extra people alive today. Every person and every job matters, and all work can be made meaningful with the Lead Without the Title philosophy.”


Robin Sharma
The Leader Who
had No Title

A Modern Fable on Real Success

in Business and in  Life



I’ve been as charged up lately as if I’d been plugged into a giant Eveready
battery.


My secret?


I read a tiny book with a huge power to move the human spirit.


The book?




The Leader Who had no Title: A Modern Fable on Real Success in Business and
in Life.


The author?


Robin Sharma, a leader who has been voted the Number Two top leader in the
world and whose legendary book, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari sold
millions of copies in more than fifty-five countries.


The message in this tiny book has been igniting a quiet revolution as it travels among innovative leaders and creators. It has ignited the leadership
of Fortune 500 companies such as Microsoft, IBM, GE, FedEx and of organizations such as Yale University and the Young Presidents Organization. I am blessed to have it right now in my hands, even before it is launched into the world to reach yours.


Here’s my vision for this book.


Get ready. A revolution is coming. It is a revolution that humanity needs right now for our evolution. It is a revolution in leadership. The message is simple, but its repercussions are world-changing. Here it is in a nutshell:


You have the power to be a leader who transforms the world, one person at a time, no matter what you do and what title you have. Whether it is in your personal life, in your family or at work, you can become a leader who inspires and makes the world a little better every day. And you don’t need a title to do that!


This leadership revolution is truly democratic. It is based in the tenet that organizations, corporations, families and communities of the 21st century must train each member to be a leader.


“Please, no!” You may be thinking. “What’s going to happen with so many people trying to control, compete and get to the top?!”


This type of leadership attitude is out of the game in the coming leadership revolution. Robin Sharma proposes a redefinition of leadership. The new leader is a person who strives for excellence in all s/he does and who seeks to leave this world a better place. S/he defines success by what she gives, not by what s/he gets.


The I-Ching and almost every wise tradition agrees. In ancestral spiritual traditions, the leader is the servant of the people. Now Robin Sharma is saying that even servants and low-ranking workers, no matter how low in the command chain they find themselves, are also leaders.


Robin Sharma has three gifts. He is a visionary leader. He is an excellent teacher. And he is a great motivator. He conveys his message through storytelling, which is my favorite medium, one proven to drive the message deep into the psyche.


The parable he created is the quest of a young veteran, Blake Davis. As a matter of fact, Blake’s first teacher is a housekeeper in a high-end hotel. Yet Anna understands the importance of her job.  She knows that she is not an insignificant domestic, as others may see her. She really is “the good will ambassador for the hotel and someone who manages its brand by the way I behave.”


Think about this. You may believe that Anna is delusional. Yet she is right on the dot. When you enter a restaurant or hotel, who is the first line of
representatives you meet? Who establishes the level of elegance, efficiency and warmth of the establishment? Waiters, receptionists and housekeepers. Yet our society sees them as less because of the type of service they render
and the amount of money they earn.


What would happen if organizations and communities would begin to treat each working person with the honor her or his service deserves? What would happen if each person knew the importance of her/his work for the company and the people s/he touches?


That is the revolution that Robin Sharma proposes. And I say. It’s about time!

Who can find help and fuel in
this book?


If you are feeling de-motivated or down due to the economy, your role at work or your feeling of powerlessness to change your life, get this book
immediately.


If you are an entrepreneur, leader, free-lancer, manager or organizer, this book will put fire in your belly and is a great tool for your crew.

Here are a few more ideas:
PARENTS


This book can give you a blueprint to empower the members in your family. Educate children and youth who assume their personal power and responsibility in the world.

TEACHERS
The leadership revolution Robin Sharma proposes demands a new way of teaching. Gone is the culture of obedience that makes education so boring in many schools. This book will challenge and illuminate you on how to empower
each student to become a leader.

BOSSES:
Bring your corporation and leadership style into the 21st century and help your company survive this hard times by transforming each employee into a leader who does his/her best for the corporation.

WORKERS:
Understand how your current job, no matter what your position is in the company, is the vehicle for your personal growth and spiritual evolution. You can become a Leader without a Title!


Here are some of my favorite
bites of wisdom:

  • Potential unrealized turns to pain.

  • Sustained change only happens when we shift at an emotional rather than at a logical level.

  • There’s no dead-end job in this whole wide and unpredictable world of ours-only dead-end thinking.

  • It is impossible to build a tribute to success on a foundation of excuses.

  • Great people construct monuments with the stones their critics throw at them.

  • Daily ripples of superior performance add up over time to a tidal wave of success.

  • Beliefs are nothing more than thoughts we’ve repeated over and over until we’ve made them into personal truths. Every belief inevitably becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.


When each of us realizes that we have the power to make an awesome difference in the world by unleashing our genius and assuming our greatness, humanity will evolve into a higher level of consciousness.


Get this book and read it every time you need to raise power!



http://theleaderwhohadnotitle.com/


Dream Alchemist’s Book Review

****
5 stars. Excellent read. Excellent transformation tool. Excellent motivating experience.

This book ignited my fire so strongly that I donated a bonus to the book launching campaign. If you get the book today (April 6), you will benefit from a complimentary package of bonuses worth thousands of dollars, including bonuses from:

Does this help? Let me know! Leave your
comment.

If you receive this in an email,
click here to leave your comment.

Maria Mar
The Dream Alchemist

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

Tell your Friends

TWEET THIS!

Recommend this blog post in a tweet, by clicking below.

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below.

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