Are you a slave to your limitations?

Are you a Slave
to your Limitations?

By Maria Mar(c)2010

Inside you there is a great leader, a wise expert and gorgeous diva. She is waiting for you to remove the limited beliefs and secret mantras that run through your mind, hiding her from your own view. Your true Act of Power is not to convince others or to show your power to the world. It is to find this power within you and embrace it. Once you do, you become a force of nature. Nothing can stop this force. Not “what they say.” Not any obstacle on your way. Nothing. The only one stopping your power is

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Do you crown your limitations, becoming their loyal

Many of us are enslaved to our opinions, confusing what we think with who we are. This confusion leads us to defend our opinions as if they were the very essence of our identity. In this scenario, anyone who holds a different view
is perceived as a thread to our existence.

If you are crowning your learned beliefs, fear-based emotions or habitual expectations and interpretations, then they become the Queen or King of your psyche, and you assign yourself the role of slave. This may seem unlikely, but it is in fact, fairly common. It is easy to see it in others, but very hard to see it in ourselves, and harder yet to change it.

Here I share some signs that you are crowning your limitations and some practical Shifts of Perceptions that may help you
reclaim your crown and become the true master of your mind.

Sign No. 1: Resistance

When you hear new concepts of explanations that seem impossible or strange to you, your immediate response is to counter them with your beliefs and opinions, using these as a shield to repel the new thoughts.

Shift No. 1: The Art of Receptivity

When you resist, you cannot receive. Whenever you encounter a different perspective of life, make a choice that there may be a hidden gift in this apparent opposition. Listen attentively. Open yourself to RECEIVE this new information. ASK extensively to make sure you understand it. ALLOW it to sink for a while and give yourself time to consider, or even research it further. You have the ultimate power to accept it or not, or to take whatever seems good to you from the presentation and weave it into your life.

Sign No. 2 Attachment

When you share your beliefs or perceptions, do you present them as they way you ARE, or as the way you see things right now?


• This is just the way I am
• In my culture, family or line of work, this is the way we see it.
• I’m a pragmatic and do not believe in that esoteric stuff.

Shift No. 2: Detachment

Attachment binds you to the past. When you identify with explanations, concepts or beliefs, no matter how good you think they are, you are creating attachment. This energy pattern binds you to the past or to the known and familiar, obstructing your growth or freedom. Detach from your thoughts, opinions and beliefs. They are NOT you. They are simply thoughts and interpretations that can change without you being less valuable or wholesome.

Sign No. 3: Feelings of inadequacy

When you have nothing to say or do not know what to say or do not know what others are talking about, you feel stupid; so you begin to talk about what you know and want to channel the conversation that way, to go back to your Comfort Zone.

Shift No. 3: Centering

You are not what you know, do or say. Your value as a human being ~even your value as a professional~ is not determined by what you know, do or say. There are intrinsic values in who you are that are much more essential and powerful than this external parameters. Shift into your intrinsic value, your Basic Goodness and your Unique Essence. From that place, you can enjoy curiosity and wonder for new knowledge without feeling insufficient.

Sign No. 4: Competitiveness

You position yourself from the start in a power place by quoting from great people, showing off your book-knowledge, dropping names or listing your qualifications. You keep the game in your court by making others compete with you. When someone contributes with a new knowledge or thought that you may not understand or know about, you immediately quote a new book or concept and bring the game to your field.

Shift No. 4: Collaboration

Competition creates stress because it triggers the flight or fight response and ignites the chemistry of adrenaline. For many men this may be like a sport, and they may enjoy the sparring because that’s the way the sympathetic systems (the Male Way or your Shiva Power) is wired. But for most women and for creative men, this modality creates stress and lowers their energy level. Yes, you are putting them in the defensive mood and this may give you an illusion of victory. But consider: do you really want people to remember you as a source of stress? Do you think that when your peers see you as a threat, a person who’s always one-upping others and someone who does not share the spotlight, they will be more willing to recommend, hire or include you in their projects? The answer is no. Try instead to shift into a collaborative stance. Share the spotlight. Commend their insights. Receive their wisdom. Become a source of support, inspiration and resources. This is a place of true power, as you are not coming from defensiveness or hunger for attention, but from your core strength and a place of collaboration.

Sign No. 5: Fear-based expectations

When you speak your truth, share your creativity or present your solutions, you feel exposed and vulnerable. To offset this feeling, you wrap your presentation in an envelope of excuses, justifications, quotes from authorities, statistics or pre-emptive attacks for those whom you expect will attack you.

Shift No. 5: The Art of Vulnerability

Any good writer or actor knows this: people don’t like perfect characters. They love characters that are vulnerable and flawed, but who are trying their best. Become a great character in your own life by allowing yourself to be vulnerable. However, do not play victim or offer yourself as bate. Allow your Unique Essence and genuine qualities to shine through that vulnerability without playing stupid. Release your negative expectations and fuel your positive expectations by inspiring others to their best while doing your best.

Sign No. 6: Control Addiction

You need to be in control. If a conversation goes into a direction that is new to you or in which you do not excel, you feel very uncomfortable and immediately act to bring it into a field that you can control. If what you present is not accepted, you feel that you are losing control and you feel compelled to keep trying to convince others or find other means of staying in control. If others gain the spotlight, you feel that they are taking control away from you and you attack them or feel rejected.

Shift No. 6: Surrender

Release the patriarchal definition of power as control. Control creates an exclusionary perception of power that does not allow power to be shared. If you have it, I lost it. Become a Power-sharer. Find ways in which you can tap into each person’s power to enhance them as you spotlight yours. When others are shining, acknowledge their brilliance. It takes one to know another. When you acknowledge others’ powers, you are showcasing yours.

Your interpretation colors your perception. Your perception creates your world by affecting how you respond to any situation, and hence, the results. Free yourself from the limitations in your perception, and the sky is the limit for you!


Break Free from what Holds you Back

This package contains the guided experience and tools you need to break from limiting beliefs. It helps you track down how you inherited false beliefs from your family dynamics. Journal writing, movement meditations and arts & crafts projects in the workbook help you track down and release false beliefs.

Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.

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your comment.



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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet.
She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who
helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to
unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers
books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well
as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to
help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your
destiny. Find out more at


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Art, Poem and invitation to Celebrate Women’s History Month 2010

Cannot see the graphics? See web version
A poem, art and invitation to celebrate the closure of

Women’s History Month

Click to read about the event.

Art by Maria Mar(c)2010

Discover your Untapped Possibilities

Break the Fences in your Mind

No. 1 of the Break Free from What Holds you Back

Online Event Series

with Maria Mar


Endless Possibilities

They rush by at the speed of light.
Invisible. Inaudible. A flash. Almost a memory.

And they are gone.

I could not see them before.

They were like crazy cars bumping against my choices.
Derailing my desires.

But I neither heard nor saw them,

though they were jamming the pathways of my mind.

There were other forces

in that secluded mindscape.

They sat there, like fences.

Doing nothing but blocking the view.

I did not see those either.

They showed up, however.

When I tried to see the beauty just beyond my reach.

The colors of a landscape

for which my Soul longed so much it hurt.

The crazy cars and the fences

kept my mind racing inside stagnation,

while I drove my will like a madwoman,

trying to get somewhere in a hurry.

My eyes were fixed on the horizon.

But the forces inside pulled me back.

Back to 0. Back to the same old place.

Until I turned my eyes inwards.

Until I Remembered.

I saw the speeding thoughts

racing through my mind,

flashes, remnants of childhood notions.

“So these are the crazy cars!”

So silly.
Full of long-ago thoughts

and buried fears.

I could have laughed, but didn’t.

How could this speeding garbage keep me in a frenzy?

“It has nothing to do with me,” I said.

Then I saw the fences.
They turned my mind into a labyrinth.

So much of what I wanted, what I was,

fenced out by habits.

Old routes I walked with raggedy shoes,

my big toe showing.

Tiny shoes no longer fitting my stature.

Narrow routes

where my habitual discomfort kept me walking.

Once you see them, they can no longer hide.
Once you touch them,

you can let them go.

Once the Inscape is reachable

the landscape can transform.

Walk with me into endless possibilities.

By Maria Mar(c)2010

I invite you to enter the mysterious regions of your mind to uncover the “Mind Fences” that may be blocking your sight to the great possibilities life offers you every day. I will be offering a multi-media event with art, audio-visual tools and dialogue. As an artist-shaman, I live my life in a laboratory of transformation to discover the powers, tools and insights that can help you manifest the life your soul desires. Join me in this online event where I will share what I have discovered about the “Fences in Your Mind” and how you can break them down to tap into endless possibilities.

Maria Mar

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Reserve your seat here


Event information

  • Why am I not manifesting that job?
  • Why can’t I get rid of this condition?
  • What else do I have to do?
  • How long will it take?
  • Nothing I do works!
  • Why am I procrastinating?
  • I keep affirming and shifting, but I keep bumping into
    the same problems.

If you’ve heard yourself saying this more than once, join us in an in-depth exploration to discover the “Fences in your Mind.”

You will find out:

  • What old thoughts, beliefs and emotions are “fenced in”–embedded in your subconscious, working underground to create the same old results or sabotage the results you want.

  • How do your new desires and goals are “fenced out”–blocked from your subconscious, so that you are creating stress in your attempts to manifest while wasting precious energy in an Inner War.

  • What simple things you can do to see and break the
    “Fences in your Mind.”

  • How life gives you all the help you need to break free,
    if you only know how and where to look.

Event information

Online multi-media teleseminar and

When: Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Where: Online at Maria Mar’s Cyber
Studio (Access information will be sent when you subscribe.)

Time: 9PM EST/ 6PM Pacific/8PM Central

How: We will talk through teleconference
while sharing an audio-visual presentation. You can also chat.

A Question and Answer Section will be included.

If you are in USA or PR, you can call from your cell phone or land phone.

If you are out of the USA, you can try Skype-to-land-line calling, though sometimes it messes up. You can also chat through the visual component.

You need to be close to a computer with internet access to see the visual component.

Why? Conclude this year’s Women’s History Month by accessing the hidden Personal History that is keeping you trapped in an unwanted past. Break free from what holds you back!

Women. Bring up to 5 girlfriends!

Sorry, Guys. This particular event is for women only.

(Pass it on as a gift to your female friends.)

Reserve your seat here

If you register and  miss the event, you will be sent a Link to hear
the recording.

Share this post
with your friends

through email
or social media.

Click the button below.

Bookmark and Share

Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.

If you receive this in an email, click here to leave your comment.

Recommend this blog post in a tweet, by clicking below.

Click Here.

About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

Are you swimming an emotional marathon?

Are you swimming an emotional marathon?

By Maria Mar©

I posted this tip in my Dream Alchemist Daily Tips blog:

Mermaid Power, art by Maria Mar(c)

Mermaid Power, art by Maria Mar(c)

Do you feel exhausted after doing something emotionally challenging, like walking through fear or breaking a habit? The action might have been simple, like making a phone call. You may be thinking that it’s silly to be so tired. Be especially loving with yourself at this time. Rest and reward yourself. Swimming against the Emotional Undertow of old learned emotions uses more energy than swimming in a marathon.

I also posted it in my Facebook Update. Here are some of the answers I’ve gotten so far:

“Thank you so much. I feel like you read my mind, it is very difficult to say no to people who have been using me for years, just the fear of saying no has been very difficult and exhausting, but after the storm I feel much better and respect myself much more.”

“YES. This is so what I needed to read today. It’s hard to move on sometimes, past the bad habits.”

This brings up a couple of questions about emotional breakthrough, and that’s what I want to explore in this post.

  • What is the Emotional Undertow?
  • Why do we experience paralyzing fear or resistance to do certain things that we know rationally are good for us and which we don’t have any skill-impairment to do?(like saying no, making a phone call, selling something or talking about what we do, for example.)
  • Why are bad habits seem like impenetrable barriers?
  • What can I do to diminish the anxiety and fear and take action from a place of peace?

Here are some answers to these questions.

Emotional Undertow

I use the term Emotional Undertow to describe the cumulative emotional charge connected to learned beliefs or habits. An example will help.

Mary has been hiding backstage while others get the credit. She’s done this all her life. Now, at 35, she realizes that this has sabotaged her success, prosperity and self-esteem. Mary has created a new line of products that she is promoting and needs to make herself visible in order to sell them. While Mary has previously helped many people sell and she has all the necessary skills, every time she picks up the phone or sends an email to make herself and her brand visible, she goes through high levels of anxiety, days of procrastination, sweaty hands and mental confusion. What is going on?

Mary learned very early on in her childhood that she could not be visible. If she was visible…(fill in the blanks.) The learned belief may be that

  • she would not be loved,
  • she was bad or
  • something terrible would happen as punishment for her arrogance.

This belief was most often communicated emotionally, without direct words or warning, but with great intensity.

The child learned this emotionally, nor rationally. She felt this belief as a life or death warning. “If I am visible, if I shine, then, something terrible will happen. I will not be loved. I am a bad person and God will punish me.”

The emotions inherited with the learned belief were:

  • Terror of being alone and not being loved if she became visible or took credit for her gifts and work.
  • Extreme shame and feelings of being evil, of being an opportunist of being arrogant if she name her worth or expressed her gifts.
  • Exaggerated feelings of dread and life-threatening fear that something terrible will happen the minute she steps out of her Invisibility Cloak.

The depth, weight and pull of your Emotional Undertow

These learned emotions are so threatening and forbidding to a child, that they create an emotional barrier.

For 35 years, Mary has fed these learned emotions. Every time that Mary wanted to shine, to express herself in public, to take credit for what she created, these same emotions reared their ugly head.

But Mary, not having the awareness of what was behind her fear or lacking the emotional skills to deal with them, repressed them.

At 35, Mary has 35 emotional tons of this threatening, shaming emotions accumulated. That’s her Emotional Undertow.

Emotions are flowing energies that run through our Energy Body, stirring up memories, signaling nerve responses, evoking images, generating physical states and turning on mental pathways. They are very powerful. More powerful than thoughts, because they carry charge that can ignite certain thoughts associated to them, so that your rational thoughts don’s stand a chance.

The good news is that these energies are constantly changing. That’s why they are archetypically associated with water. They can change form, color, temperature, density and electrical charge. They can be transformed. That is why you need to feel them, follow them to their source and then release the parts that are toxic. Imagine that you are combing them. Take out guilt, shame, learned fear, interpretations, etc. What is left is the pure power of emotions to propel you. What is left is your passion.

What you can do

When we take action against these learned limits of behavior or learned beliefs, these Emotional Undertow stirs up and pulls us back from the shore of our goals. We then need to use all we got to release that pull and move forward. Here are several things that help:

  • Feel what you feel. Give yourself time, space and permission to experience your emotion fully. Do not judge yourself. Do not badger yourself. Do not confuse yourself with your emotions. Seat with it, hold it. Feel it. Love yourself with it, through it and beyond it.
  • Do not identify with the emotions. Part of the problem is that as a child, you identify yourself with these overpowering emotions that ran through you. Now you can detach. Before allowing this Emotional Undertow to flow through you and experience these powerful emotions, seat breathing deeply for a few minutes, and feel your Core Self. This is your Soul-self. It holds your inner strength and wisdom. See it as an ancient tree that stands still in the midst of activity. Stand in the infinite power of your Soul and detach from the emotions as you feel them. This means that you allow yourself to feel them, but you don’t drown in them because you can observe them without confusing yourself with these old, learned emotions.
  • Self-parent yourself. One of the reasons this makes no sense to the adult you is because it is NOT the adult you who is carrying the Emotional Undertow. It is one or more of your Inner Children. Talk to them. Hold them in your arms. Listen to them and help them to FEEL loved, protected and ALLOWED to engage in the new behavior. This is a process, not a one shot deal.
  • You need to go within, recognize, clarify and release the learned beliefs and emotions in your unconscious. If you can’t find the hidden beliefs or emotions, or if they create undue anxiety, you can support your clearance process by:
  • Therapy
  • Working with a coach, spiritual teacher, shaman or minister
  • Meditation and reflection
  • Help from your spiritual guides
  • Reflection in nature, where the Sacred World will show you guidance
  • Journal writing
  • Shamanic Psychic Hunting.
  • Take action. Your emotions are learned signals from the past. Every time you take action, they subside a bit more. Eventually, the present results will override the past domestication and the emotions will go.
  • Get help and support. Whether a therapist, coach, support group or online community, you need the support of positive people to nourish the emotions that will build your Emotional Streams of Affluence, the positive emotional build up that carries you to your desired destiny.
  • Use a daily visualization practice or rituals that helps you transform the Emotional Undertow into Emotional Streams of Affluence. Try Shifting the World, a practice I teach in this blog.

Does this help? Let me know!

If you have any other question, feel free to ask it here, and I will gladly answer.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist


If you would like personal coaching, shamanic counseling or help in tracking down the source of your emotions, consider my coaching services at:

For help on releasing, visit the Sonoma Method at:

For help transmuting emotions, releasing toxic beliefs and breaking through resistance in a gentle way, learn EFT. Get the free manual that explains the Emotional Freedom Technique here: