Why can’t I get motivated?

Why can’t I get motivated?

By Maria Mar(c)2010

Why can't you get motivated? Find out!

“Why can’t I get motivated?” Elizabeth asked me.

There are two different scenarios for depleted motivation: temporary and chronic.

I’ll cover the first one in this blog and the second one in a second blog, so stay tune. (Subscribe to this blog to get my weekly articles. Click the button to the upper right corner.)

Here’s the list of probable issues that are causing your de-motivation. To see the solutions, see the second section, below.

Temporary lack of motivation

If you are suffering from a temporary lack of motivation, then you are usually motivated, but find yourself in a motivational slump. Here are the causes that may be causing this slump.

1. Overwork. If you are burn-out, your body is depleted of energy. Your momentum slows down and your motivation suffers.

2. Taking too many ineffective actions. When your actions do not bring results, there is no renewal to the emotional energy you are using to generate them. Lack of results is like lack of food.

3. Plans and goals are not in harmony with your Purpose. Your path is not clear. The goals, plans or strategies you’ve laid out are not truly satisfying you. They may not be what your Soul desires or they may not be in harmony with your Life Purpose.

4. Doing too many difficult things for too long. Change is hard work. When you are changing the way you think, act and live, you are creating new pathways in your brain. This takes energy and it can take a toll in your passion.

5. Working hard without giving yourself rewards. If all you do is work, and you give yourself nothing to recognize the value of your work, then you are an oppressive boss to yourself. Your own “employees” are going to slow down and sabotage the enterprise.

6. Doing too many things you don’t like. Every project, whether it is personal or professional, has exciting, fun, creative things that you like to do and things that don’t like that much. If you are doing too many of the later and not enough of the things you like, you are killing your motivation.

7. Not receiving the results. Sometimes you expect certain results, but you get others instead. If you do not receive the results you get, because they are not the ones you expected, then you are repelling success. You are trying to control the flow of life, and rejecting the blessings life brings. You are depleting your own life force by placing a dike of limited expectations.

8. Feeling alone and abandoned. Have you asked for help? Have you engaged other experts to collaborate, guide or support you in your work? Have you shared your achievements, no matter how small, with your friends? If not, then you are trapped in the trance of Orphanhood. How can you be motivated?

9. Toxic environment. Are you surrounded by people who diminish your value, pressure you into betraying your dreams or constantly criticize or disbelief your goals? An environment that does not nurture your self-esteem and your dreams is toxic to your motivation.

Solutions

1. Overwork. Take a week or at least 4 days off. Get up late, go to bed early and take a nap. You should sleep at least 10 hours and rest at least 2 more. Spend at least one hour a day in nature. For women, being close to running water and walking barefoot on the earth renew our energy. Trees are powerful healers. Walk among them. Do things you like; alone and with your friends. Ask your Inner Child what she wants to do and then go have fun. When you regain energy and reconnect to the reason why you are doing what you are doing, the motivation will come back.

2. Taking too many ineffective actions. Your External Actions in the world are not working because there are hidden interferences “unweaving” what you weave, like the Myth of Penelope. You need to take Internal Actions to release the hidden interferences. Join my “I Want to Flourish” Fiesta to find free knowledge and resources.

3. Plans and goals are not in harmony with your Purpose. You need to stop your hectic doing and go within to listen to your Soul. You may be following Borrowed Dreams or Distorted Dreams. You need to go back to center in order to find your true path. Pre-order (or order) my novel. It will take you on a journey to heal this.

4. Doing too many difficult things for too long. You need to live in balance. Schedule fun, rest and pampering into your calendar. Balance difficult tasks with easy tasks. Give yourself time in the movies, a walk in the park and extra sleep during difficult jobs.

5. Working hard without giving yourself rewards. Reduce the number of tasks in your daily to-do list. Make sure you do the recommendations in the previous point. Buy some bright stars stickers and stick one at the end of each done task. At the end of each day, give yourself a round of applause and declare your accomplishments proudly. When you finish a project or achieve a goal, give yourself a great reward. Stop trying to do everything better. Value yourself and every little thing you do.

6. Doing too many things you don’t like. Balance your daily work by doing one thing you don’t like early in the morning followed by two things you love to do. Get or hire help to do the things you hate and the things that you are not good at.

7. Not receiving the results. When you send things into the world, open your mind and release the outcome. Receive every positive result that comes back. Open your heart and receive it in the knowledge that Life Mother knows better, and that Divine Design is at work. You will see how this seemingly insipid result multiplies its blessings in the future, better and farther than you could ever imagine.

8. Feeling alone and abandoned. Find your place of belonging with like-hearted people who support you. Ask your supportive friends for help. If you are unused to asking for help, you probably do not even see how others can help you. That’s your Orphanhood leading your life. You are not alone. Make an effort to find ways in which your friends can help you. Share your dreams with positive friends. Celebrate your goals with a party, dinner out or picnic.

9. Toxic environment. Examine how you invite, allow or are hooked with toxic people. Find memberships or communities of like-minded people who are seeking similar things. Get a mentor or coach. Avoid people who drain you or diminish your trust in your capacity or your dream, even if they are family. See them less, do not talk about your dreams or goals with them and place strong limits that disallow any negative comments. It may be tough at first, but they’ll eventually know not to step past your limits.

If you need more help, consider working under my mentorship and guidance.

Click here for more information.

Click here to register.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to achieve personal freedom, unlock your creative potential and live a life of magic and delight. She offers books, digital products and guidance, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express. If you want to flourish under Maria’s mentorship and guidance, visit http://www.dreamalchemist.com.

This material is the copyright of Maria Mar©2010. You can use this tip in your newsletter, blog or other digital media as long as you keep the copyright and biographical paragraph with the active link and send us notification.

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Peer pressure and toxic relationships

Peer Pressure

and Toxic Relationships

Excerpt from


The Toxic Relationship Self-help Kit:


Love them, but LEAVE them

By Maria Mar(c)2009

Terrified Tweeter jumped from
branch to branch, tweeting as hard as she could. Her friends, scared of the
terrible danger that the small bird announced, stayed safely at a distance.

They admired Tweeter’s courage. Such a tiny bird, staying on the same tree
as that mean predator, Haughty Hawk. What courage! Small as she was,
Terrified Tweeter was relentless. Her tweets were so loud that her whole
body shook with their resonance.

Meanwhile Hawk sat on a steady
branch at the other side of the Ancient Tree, meditating. But it was hard to
meditate with all the racket that the tiny bird was creating. Haughty Hawk
was annoyed. Why was the bird so scared now, when they had co-existed
peacefully for years?

“I thought she was my friend,”

Haughty Hawk reflected. “Go figure these tiny tweeters. They are always
scared.”

Haughty Hawk had also been
scared as it grew up in the noisy city, with the Two-legged predators so
nearby. But now that she was meditating and learning the Ways of the
Warrior, she had chosen to live without fear. She had learned to empty her
mind and visualize her desires, and she had grown strong and confident.

But the more confident Haughty
Hawk grew, the louder Terrified Tweetie squeaked each time Hawk came close.
She had managed to scare all the other birds, who disappeared the minute
Haughty Hawk perched in any of the Ancient Trees around.

Haughty Hawk began to feel more
than resentful. She became angry.

“Perhaps I should give her
reason to tweet,” Haughty Hawk considered, her trained eye gauging the
distance between the scared bird and her branch. In a split second, she
could have the naughty bird in her beak, and she could then meditate in
silence.

Haughty Hawk caught herself in
her fantasies of revenge and released her toxic feelings with a sigh. She
dived her Inner Eye deep into her heart. There she saw and felt the
pain that her new loneliness inflicted. She was sad that her tiny friends
would distrust her after all this time.

Haughty Hawk remembered when
she had caught them murmuring behind her back.

“She says that she is
harnessing power,” they nervously tweeted.

“What could she possibly want
to do with all that power, except eat us all?” they squeaked.

Haughty Hawk smiled sadly. She
remembered when she, too was scared of the great Eagle, the large Hunter
Hawks and the daring Crows. She had felt so small that she had not
understood her own power. She had, like her tiny friends, thought of power
only as a threat, not something she held inside for her own fulfillment.

“Oh, well, tweets will be
tweets!” Hawk finally said to herself. “And I am a Master Warrior.”

She gracefully flew to a near
lamppost and began her concentration again. She was visualizing one of the
fat rats that were coming out of the ground during the construction that the
Two-Legged were doing in the street below.

But Terrified Tweeter didn’t
get it. She still tweeted as if her feathers had caught fire. Nothing
stirred among the Ancient Trees. Nothing moved in miles around. The scared
tweet was doing a great job of scaring all possible prey.

As I looked at this scene, the
beautiful white spotted hawk flew towards a distant tree. I couldn’t get my
eyes off her majestic, silent flight. Still terrified, the small tweeter
squeaked behind my back.

As you read the fable above, were you immediately sympathetic with the small bird, seeing her as the hero and hawk as the bad guy? That is our collective tendency. We instinctively seek justice. But we cannot make true justice if we confuse power with dominance. For if we do, we will be manipulated by those who play the victim and we will repel and punish those who stand in their power. This confusion is at the heart of toxic relationships.

Power as defined by our patriarchal system, is control and dominance. But that is only an illusion of power. When we believe this illusion, we reject power. When we reject power, we align ourselves with helplessness. We make those with personal power our enemies. We repel mentors, teachers and those friends and peers who assume their power. In other words, we become toxic to those who seek freedom, joy and growth.

When we align ourselves with powerlessness, we are afraid to speak with our voice of authority. We place an interrogation mark at the end of our declarations and beat around the bush to speak our truth. We constrict our bodies and our voices. We dream tiny and stay safely perched in our Comfort Zone.

If you have courageously stepped out of that Comfort Zone, you may
unknowingly be facing peer pressure.

We tell our children not to give in to peer pressure. But many adults are clueless as to the level of peer pressure they carry on their Psychic
Shoulders
. As a result, they give in to peer pressure, betraying their
Personal Dreams and their spiritual growth.

Children and teens are more direct on their peer pressure tactics. They may result to insults or name-calling. Adults are more subtle. Friends will distance themselves. Peers will murmur behind your back. Family members will close ranks and mount a campaign to wear or break you down. Because they know you well, they know your Breaking Points. They will go for these weak areas in your psyche. This emotional and psychic attack that can undermine your motivation and your energy level.

When you feel that the people you love resist your growth or sabotage your dreams you feel sad, betrayed, resentful, revengeful, angry and lonely. If you are afraid of confrontation and used to the lies of the dysfunctional family, you may join their betrayal by excusing their behavior and going back to your learned limits of perception.

Is it a wonder, then, that many of us go back on our personal growth and give up on our dreams?

If you dream big, you are big. Once you acknowledge your personal power and reclaim your personal authority, you soon find yourself among the Majestic Swans, the Great Eagles, the Master Hunter Hawks and Daring Crows.

Those whom you left behind will tweet loudly and persistently.

“Change back! Change back!” they will squeak.

Perhaps they will not be as raucous as Terrified Tweeter. Perhaps they will give you the silent treatment or the cold shoulder.

What will you do then? What have you done?

Have you given up on your new friends? Have you given up on your new dreams? Have you drowned your desires deep inside yourself? Have you gone back to the humdrum of a life without passion?

It is important for you to recognize the peer pressure tactics of the adults around you. Find the best way to address the fears of your family and peers. If it is possible, bring them into the open. If not, give them special love and attention to ensure them that you still love them and they have nothing to fear.

You also need to recognize your sadness and allow yourself to grieve for your past life. These are growing pains. Every woman and man who has achieved something great ―whether a new discovery that changed humanity or a state of personal fulfillment― has gone through these growing pains. Use the Time Traveling Exercise at the end of this chapter to address your growing pains.

Be firm, however, in your new boundaries, dreams and lifestyle. Above all, do not allow the fear of those in your past to bring down your vibration.

Big dreams require a high vibrational level. The changes you are making in your life are changing your vibrational frequency, so that you can tolerate a higher vibration and can manifest and live in your dream.

Those who cannot tolerate the high vibrational frequency of freedom,
courage, confidence, power, joy and passion may squeak warning signals to you. They may project their own fears or limiting beliefs. They will poke your Breaking Points, exacerbating the old limited beliefs that keep you confined in your old lifestyle.

If you recognize what is happening, you can use this situation to examine your Breaking Points. The confrontation you may experience at this time can then help you to weave a strong mesh in the wounded areas of your energy field. By addressing the limited beliefs and releasing learned fears, you will be able to prevent the many energy leakages that have brought your energy frequency down. You will come out of this experience having transformed your Breaking Points into your strongest points.

On the other hand, give in to peer pressure, and you will begin to fade back into the life that you were trying to escape.

At this time it is especially important to maintain your new friends and allies. You need people who can vibrate at the higher frequency because they “lend you energy.” This means that they bring you into musical entrainment with their energy vibration, helping you generate a higher frequency and sustain it for longer periods of time.

This is an excerpt from

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit:

Love them, but LEAVE them



Pre-order your copy now.

No obligation to purchase or pre-payment.

Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!