Who’s the boss of you?

Who’s the boss of you?


Watch this free Video and find out!


Click graphic to see Video.

  • Is there an
    aspect of your life that seems out of control?

  • Do you find
    yourself in some “unwanted” situation that makes you fee trapped or stuck?

  • Are you working
    hard towards a dream or goal, but feel that you are spinning your wheels on place?

Then enjoy my beautiful

Free Virtual Tour and Ecourse!

You will:

  • Relax and enjoy
    a beautiful video and engaging stories.

  • Enjoy several
    Aha! moments that may open new insights into your situation.

  • Find the hidden
    source of interference in your subconscious that is creating the “static” that keeps you trapped.


Includes a self-assessment tool

to
find out which of the


6 main hidden
interference patterns in women

may be holding you back.


Click graphic to see Video.

In this Video Series

I reveal secrets that I only share in my
exclusive private mentorship.

  • At no cost.

  • No risk.

  • See at your convenience.

PLUS

  • Get 3 Psychic Keys to unstuck yourself delivered via email!

Click to enjoy the
Introductory Video

Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at http://www.dreamalchemist.com

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Art, Poem and invitation to Celebrate Women’s History Month 2010

Cannot see the graphics? See web version
A poem, art and invitation to celebrate the closure of


Women’s History Month

Click to read about the event.

Art by Maria Mar(c)2010



Discover your Untapped Possibilities


Break the Fences in your Mind

No. 1 of the Break Free from What Holds you Back


Online Event Series


with Maria Mar


FOR WOMEN ONLY


Endless Possibilities

They rush by at the speed of light.
Invisible. Inaudible. A flash. Almost a memory.

And they are gone.


I could not see them before.

They were like crazy cars bumping against my choices.
Derailing my desires.

But I neither heard nor saw them,

though they were jamming the pathways of my mind.


There were other forces

in that secluded mindscape.

They sat there, like fences.

Doing nothing but blocking the view.

I did not see those either.


They showed up, however.

When I tried to see the beauty just beyond my reach.

The colors of a landscape

for which my Soul longed so much it hurt.


The crazy cars and the fences

kept my mind racing inside stagnation,

while I drove my will like a madwoman,

trying to get somewhere in a hurry.

My eyes were fixed on the horizon.

But the forces inside pulled me back.

Back to 0. Back to the same old place.


Until I turned my eyes inwards.

Until I Remembered.

I saw the speeding thoughts

racing through my mind,

flashes, remnants of childhood notions.

“So these are the crazy cars!”

So silly.
Full of long-ago thoughts

and buried fears.
Garbage.

I could have laughed, but didn’t.

How could this speeding garbage keep me in a frenzy?

“It has nothing to do with me,” I said.


Then I saw the fences.
They turned my mind into a labyrinth.

So much of what I wanted, what I was,

fenced out by habits.

Old routes I walked with raggedy shoes,

my big toe showing.

Tiny shoes no longer fitting my stature.

Narrow routes

where my habitual discomfort kept me walking.

Once you see them, they can no longer hide.
Once you touch them,

you can let them go.


Once the Inscape is reachable

the landscape can transform.


Walk with me into endless possibilities.


By Maria Mar(c)2010

I invite you to enter the mysterious regions of your mind to uncover the “Mind Fences” that may be blocking your sight to the great possibilities life offers you every day. I will be offering a multi-media event with art, audio-visual tools and dialogue. As an artist-shaman, I live my life in a laboratory of transformation to discover the powers, tools and insights that can help you manifest the life your soul desires. Join me in this online event where I will share what I have discovered about the “Fences in Your Mind” and how you can break them down to tap into endless possibilities.

Maria Mar

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Reserve your seat here

READ MORE

Event information

  • Why am I not manifesting that job?
  • Why can’t I get rid of this condition?
  • What else do I have to do?
  • How long will it take?
  • Nothing I do works!
  • Why am I procrastinating?
  • I keep affirming and shifting, but I keep bumping into
    the same problems.

If you’ve heard yourself saying this more than once, join us in an in-depth exploration to discover the “Fences in your Mind.”

You will find out:

  • What old thoughts, beliefs and emotions are “fenced in”–embedded in your subconscious, working underground to create the same old results or sabotage the results you want.

  • How do your new desires and goals are “fenced out”–blocked from your subconscious, so that you are creating stress in your attempts to manifest while wasting precious energy in an Inner War.

  • What simple things you can do to see and break the
    “Fences in your Mind.”

  • How life gives you all the help you need to break free,
    if you only know how and where to look.

Event information


What:
Online multi-media teleseminar and
dialogue


When: Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Where: Online at Maria Mar’s Cyber
Studio (Access information will be sent when you subscribe.)


Time: 9PM EST/ 6PM Pacific/8PM Central
(USA)


How: We will talk through teleconference
while sharing an audio-visual presentation. You can also chat.

A Question and Answer Section will be included.


If you are in USA or PR, you can call from your cell phone or land phone.


If you are out of the USA, you can try Skype-to-land-line calling, though sometimes it messes up. You can also chat through the visual component.


You need to be close to a computer with internet access to see the visual component.


Why? Conclude this year’s Women’s History Month by accessing the hidden Personal History that is keeping you trapped in an unwanted past. Break free from what holds you back!


Who?
Women. Bring up to 5 girlfriends!

Sorry, Guys. This particular event is for women only.

(Pass it on as a gift to your female friends.)


Reserve your seat here

If you register and  miss the event, you will be sent a Link to hear
the recording.


Share this post
with your friends

through email
or social media.

Click the button below.


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Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.

If you receive this in an email, click here to leave your comment.

________________________________________________
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Click Here.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

Walk out of your Family Karma and Step into your Dream

Walk out of your Family Karma

and Step into your Dream

Maria Mar

Love is the air under our wings.

It uplifts us. It frees us. It supports us.

It makes it safe to explore and fly.

It nests us when we return.


Part 1


What is your Inheritance?


When love is unconditional, it is the greatest ally to our dreams. It gives us the power to move mountains.

Unfortunately, for many of us born to fly, love seems to be the chain around our talon and the weight crushing our wings. Many of us hold back from our true potential for fear of being rejected by those we love. Even more of us are held back from our dreams by the false beliefs and negative patterns secretly inherited
from those we love.


Love vs. Fear

Love moves the world, but only when it is unconditional. Unfortunately, few of us practice unconditional love. There is secret war going on in many families right now. It is a war between freedom and love. To fly, love needs freedom. Fear, however creates a sickness that attaches to love, making it possessive and limiting. In the name of love and home, we try to control the destiny of our children, to twist and bend their natures and desires so that they fit our inherited worldview. In the name of love, we demand that our beloved sacrifice her or his dream ―even his or her very nature― to fit our learned scripts of what love or family should be. We see this as protecting them. Yet, we stifle them and ourselves, crippling not only the individuals, but the entire family.

Fear is the opposite of love. When fear creeps into the family, it creates stagnation and contraction, instead of growth and evolution. Fear alone is not the enemy, however. The enemy of love, as well as freedom is learned fear. This crippling disease keeps families imprisoned and clips the wings of their members.

But we all have choices, don’t we? We don’t stay under our elders’ grip forever. You grow up, leave your home of origin and create the life you want. Or so you think. But unbeknownst to you, the old family beliefs pass on from your great-grandmother to your grandmother to your mother and to you. These patterns are still intact, alive and kicking in your subconscious.


Your Double Inheritance

When these beliefs are healthy, relevant to the present and effectively moving you towards your dreams, they are the Ancestors’ Gifts. They are the air under your wing.

But when they are obsolete, based on fear and on a negative worldview and embedded in a life-or-death pattern drenched in fear, these old beliefs are your Shadow Inheritance. This
inheritance holds you back. It is an invisible shackle solidly built in your subconscious. The links of that chain are made of expectations, assumptions, learned defensive patterns and a cast-iron worldview. It has nothing to do with what you consciously believe. It may hold you back against your own
conscious, chosen values, beliefs and dreams. The subconscious runs about 95% percent of your life, so that is a BIG chain. That heavy chain keeps you a prisoner of the past.

As long as you are carrying the weight of your Shadow Inheritance, you are going to find it difficult to soar into your dreams, because the old beliefs are weighting you down.

In my new ebook set,
Tap into the Secret Power in the Family Blues: Heal Issues of Love, Wealth
and Health
, I help you take a good look at the way in which your Shadow Inheritance holds you back. I share with you a personal experience in the storybook
A Bitter-sweet Holiday Family Story.
Then in the
workbook
, I offer you powerful tools to flush out from your subconscious those old beliefs, so that you can fly free. To find out how your Family Karma can hold you down and how to break free, continue reading.


Part 2

Family Karma and Personal Freedom

Your Shadow Inheritance keeps you trapped in the past. I call this trap the  Family Karmic Prison. Its walls are made of perceptions and energy patterns. It is created and constantly recreated by inherited beliefs, old emotional patterns and a worldview that limits our expectations and our ability to see new possibilities. These learned perceptions color and shape the world you see right now. Yet, you believe that this is the only real world because it is a familiar world, one that has been created for generations in your family. When you commit yourself to dissolving the inner obstacles within you and move towards your
dream, you begin to dissolve the Family Karmic Prison. This is a
great act of love towards yourself. When you do that, you wake up from the Domestication Trance that keeps your family members trapped in that prison. You begin to see with new eyes. You see new possibilities. You can interpret circumstances in a different way.

This does not necessarily make you happier, for now you see with clarity how your loved ones are trapped. You try to help them. You try to let them know that their expectations are not necessarily reality, but assumptions. And your conflicts escalate. They resist. They blame you. They hold on tighter to their prison. The pain grows in you.


The Loyalty War

What will you do? Will you stop changing and moving towards your dream? Will you betray yourself to be loyal to your family’s worldview? Or will you move on, split into two by the pain of leaving them behind? Is it worth it, to reach your dream alone, without them? This creates a type of Inner War that I
call the Loyalty War.

Know this:
You are a Family Scout. You were given a dream, a life purpose

and a vision because you came into this world to move yourself, the world and your family into a new reality. You are a Messenger of Freedom. It does not serve you or anyone to stay behind, shrinking your potential, clipping your wings, denying your Personal Truth, just to be accepted. Self-betrayal is not an act of love. It is not love for yourself and it is certainly not love for your family.


Personal Freedom

As long as you are inside that Family Karmic Prison, you cannot open the door for anyone else. You need to break free from your attachment to your family’s struggle. That is a core part of your Soul’s Purpose. It is a precondition to manifest your Life’s Purpose. Once outside that perceptual prison, you can invite your loved ones to step out of those limits and into new possibilities. Your own act of liberation, your own health, joy, success or fulfillment will be the best invitation. Even then, however, you must honor personal choice. You may invite them to walk out,
but you cannot walk out FOR them and you cannot MAKE them walk out.

You can give them your love, but you cannot give them freedom, for freedom is a personal choice.

Resources

I wrote the ebook set Tap into the Secret Power in the Family Blues: Heal Issues of Love, Wealth
and Health
, to help you with this issue.


Do you like this?

Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.

If you receive this in an email,
click here
to leave your comment.

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About Maria Mar
Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.
Copyright
This content is copyright of Maria Mar(c)2009. This article is not to be reproduced, copied or in any way distributed. Bloggers or website owners interested in this content, please check our affiliate options below.
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The End

Bless Away your Holiday Stress


Bless Away the Holiday Stress

By Maria Mar (c)2009


The tree is up. The lights are on. The music plays. The Holidays are here, full of bright colors, smiles and good spirits. So why do you feel so blah? You go along and do the deeds, but your heart is not in it.


Or perhaps you are feeling quiet the opposite, like a renegade train running so fast that it is missing the Holiday station! Could it be that you are speeding past the Holiday Spirit? Read on and find out what may be causing your Holiday Stress and how to bless it away.

There are four main sources of Holiday Blues or Stress:

Broken Heart, Broken Back, Broken Bag or Broken compass. Let’s take a quick look at each:


Broken Heart

You have experienced an emotional loss. You got divorced or you are remembering a loved one that died recently or during the Christmas season. Basically, you are grieving.


Broken Back

You are the victim of too many pressures, exhaustion or emotional stress. You are rushing around so much that you can’t catch your breath long enough to smell the scent of the Holidays.


Broken Bag

You are jobless, suffered financial cuts or in some other way are experiencing a financial crisis that makes it hard or impossible to shop, give, entertain or celebrate the Holidays as you’ve done
before.


Broken Compass

Something is askew. You can’t find your joy. You feel depleted, empty. You know you should be happy, but you can’t celebrate. You feel that you have lost your Personal Compass. If any of this is true for you or for someone dear to you, then there is one powerful way in which you can release the burden that is keeping you from celebrating the Holidays. This path is not easy, but it is powerful enough to
turn drab blue into bright red and bring the Holidays alive again. It is the path of Self-love.

Self-love is many things to many people, it is different in each situation, and it can be a tall order to tackle. But here we are going to focus on four simple self-love approaches, one for each of the problems above. Each approach has one thing in common: a blessing.

Choose the option you need:

The Wounded Sacred Heart

The sacred medicine of the grieving heart is called the Sacred Wounded Heart. This is often represented by the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Wounded Healer or the Broken Heart of the Spiritual Warrior. The spiritual principle in your broken heart reminds you that new birth pushes through old obstacles, like a green shoot breaking ground. The act that allows this transformation to take place is to feel your pain from a place of courageous surrendering.

Here’s how to do this.

  1. Embrace your grief during a clearly delimited time
    each day.
    Observe when the sadness most often overcomes you and give yourself permission to cry at that time.

  2. Cry or lament fully and completely, surrendering
    to your pain.
    Do not hold back. Wale or howl if you need to.

  3. Give yourself ample time, an hour perhaps.
    More if you need it. It will eventually decrease and you can adjust the time for your needs.

  4. When the time for crying is over each day, shift
    to your Spiritual Warrior.
    Take a hold of your faith. Seating in the consciousness of your immortality, release the belief that you have lost this person.

  5. Then recite this blessing below. (You may write it down and place it on a prominent place.)

  6. Live up to this blessing for the rest of the day until the next time to grieve.

  7. Do not push yourself to be happy in the way we usually define it. Rather, live from the love emanating from your soul, love for yourself and all of creation.

  8. Create an altar or corner where you can each day
    honor the departed
    in whatever ways feel appropriate. Recognize that s/he also has an immortal soul and is still present in your life, but without the flesh dress, as a being of pure light.

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Heart, and open my being to the Sacred Tree of Love and Wisdom growing in this wound. Now I water it with these tears. But each day I also shine on it the sun of my gratitude, love and hope. I allow the Sacred Tree of Love and Wisdom growing within me to emerge from this wound, transforming my life. I seat on the Throne of my Immortal Soul, that suffers no loss, for it is one with everything.”


Back to newsletter.



Warrior Mother Tree, art by Maria Mar(c)2009. Click to buy the ScreenArt Saver.
The Dance of Stillness

The reason we push ourselves to do so many things, the reason why our to-do list seems to grow and we never feel we are doing enough, is because we confuse our doing with our being. If we are not still
long enough; if we are not quiet long enough to connect to our soul and our
Core Self; then we begin to live as human doings, instead of human beings.

The Medicine for this is the Dance of Stillness. There is a place within you in which you can inhabit the stillness between each movement, the silence between each sound. This place is called The Dance of Stillness.


This dance begins in what I call Sky Mind. You get there by releasing your logical, small, Ego Mind. This is the mind that holds the to-do list and identifies with what you do.


The Dance of Stillness is a way of living that requires years of discipline. But you can start right now and feel the benefits immediately. You will have to re-adjust yourself during the day, as
you forget. But each time you go back to the Dance of Stillness, you
are training your mind to be Sky Mind and yourself to live from that
peaceful place.


Here is a quick start-up that involves five daily actions:

  1. Begin each day with 5 minutes of deep breathing
    and stilling the mind. Concentrate on the inhalation traveling to your belly and then the rest of your body and in the exhalation being as slow as possible.

  2. Make a commitment to shorten your activity list by
    half
    , and to do things in order of priority and ease of flow. Every
    time you finish doing one thing, bless yourself and all people
    involved, receive its goodness in your heart and then release
    any further worry, thought or time investment on this item.

  3. Go straight to the source of love. If you have
    a physical or emotional “broken back” –meaning that you are sick, depressed, injured, physically challenged or overwhelmed, release the to-do list completely. Meditate on how you can flow your love easily, effortlessly, and to whom you want to direct it, and then focus on that, disregarding the cosmetic details that we so often confuse with love.

  4. Take a nap after lunch or when you get home.
    Take a 15 minute nap in the middle of the day. Lay down. You don’t have to fall asleep. Simply close your eyes, let go of worry and breathe deeply, surrendering your burden, your stress and even the task of keeping your body upright to Earth Mother.

  5. Every night, release the obsession with controlling everything, and hand it over to God. Ask Divine Will to carry your burden for you. Say this blessing:

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Back, and allow my body and my
soul to heal naturally and quickly while I release my illusions of control. I shed the cosmetic details that my Ego Mind confuses with love. I go directly to the source of love, showering myself in Divine Love. I spread my love easily and effortlessly, as the Sky spreads its light. I bless myself and all my loved ones in the light of love.



Back to newsletter.


The Alchemist Touch



Enjoy a storytelling blog post to shift prosperity perception.
This recession is to our national being as a crisis is to our personal being.
A crisis is that moment when a door that had been hidden, its iron hinges rusting, its paint blending with the frame, until we
saw no door, only a wall –suddenly opens.

That creaking, trembling door opening looks like the wall is crumbling down or there’s an earthquake. But it’s really a new path
opening to us.


The earth-shaking change may seem to be an external circumstance that is happening TO you, something life is doing to you, without your consent. But it is something that happens deeply and firstly in your psyche.


When the hinges begin to move against the rust and the door pulls back from the frame, it is hurts. This recession may have left you penniless, jobless or in a very tight –even scary– financial situation.

The question is not “how much I can afford to spend?”


The question is “What are the values that de-rust the hinges of this door and where does it lead?”

As long as you keep trying to spend as you’ve done before or as you think you have to, you will feel deprived and disempowered. You will see the crisis as a thief, not a door. You are placing your attention on the lack. You are insisting on keeping things as they were.


But crisis is a demand and a bridge to change. The Universe is not asking you to change. It is demanding you to. If you trust that the Universe is your ally, that it is your Cosmic Self, then this demand is a bridge to a new, better life.

What to do? Become an Alchemist. Use this alchemical formula.

  1. Release this stress by recognizing the gold in
    this leaden situation.
    What seems like a financial crisis may be a golden opportunity to reclaim the true spirit of Christmas. Make this holiday a time of adventure, deep love and genuine giving, re-focusing from the material to the emotional and spiritual.

  2. Search for ways to return Christmas values into
    your life
    , instead of focusing on spending.

  3. Find out more about volunteering to help others in
    Volunteering for Christmas. (This link goes to my Holiday
    2009 Newsletter edition, where I offer links to resources.)

  4. Give Experiential Gifts. This practice allows
    you to give of yourself with little or no spending while creating
    unforgettable moments with your loved ones. Read about
    Experiential Gifts.

  5. Recite the Alchemical Blessing below every morning
    and evening
    for the duration of the Holidays, and

  6. Have a blast of a Holiday!

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Bag, and track down the hole
that has bled my life force, love and values and that has manifested in this lack. I allow my Soul to lead me back to the source of love and abundance. I allow my Higher Self to guide me to the changes necessary to expand my consciousness and enter the new reality. I
unhinge the locked, rusty door of my old limits and walk into a better life. Though I do not see the silver lining yet, I am grateful and joyful for this golden opportunity.”



Back to newsletter.


Holy Days Retreat


Awaken the Rose audio and self-love meditation returns you to center and awakens the flow of your love. Click here to read more.
If the Holiday Spirit eludes you, no matter how hard you try, then your Soul is crying for time out.


There are essential things in your life that you need to recalibrate and you can not pretend. Christmas is not a time for
pretending happiness, but for experiencing genuine joy.


Joy is often bubbly, exciting and expansive. But sometimes joy is not about merrymaking, but about entering deep silence and listening to your soul. This insight, or inward looking, can unlock the dam that is stifling your emotions. This, in turn, restores your Personal Compass. As your soul feels listened and loved, and can once again guide you towards your True Infinite Self and your life’s purpose, it
returns to genuine joy, one that is not dependent on festivities and
external trimmings.


You need a Holy Days Retreat. Here’s what to do:

  1. Find or prepare a peaceful, quiet, uninterrupted
    place for your Holy Days Retreat
    . It can be a place in nature, a
    spiritual institution or a room in your own home. You can even open a tent in a corner of the house and ask everyone not to interrupt you while you are there.

  2. Prepare yourself to enter this retreat for a
    specific time.
    If you can, make it at least three days. If you can’t, then assign a specific number of hours each day to that retreat. You can do a sleep-in retreat in your tent. Call upon your Native American Spiritual Guides to teach you how to use this tent as a Ceremonial Tepee.

  3. Choose carefully a few basic Holiday activities
    and release the others. This is not Christmas or New Year as usual. This is a life-changing transition. Acknowledge this and give yourself permission to experience it. Receive the gift that this Holy Days are bringing and trust that it will expand your consciousness and enrich your life.

  4. Create a ceremony or Inward Journey to hear and
    follow your Personal Compass.
    For an excellent guide, see the
    Roadmap Home: Your GPS to Inner Peace.
    (When you click on this link you will go to the Resource section in my Holiday 2009 Newsletter.)

  5. Recite the Holy Day Compass Blessing below every morning and night during the Holidays.

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Compass, and I still my mind
and body in order to listen to my Soul’s soft voice and wise guidance. I let go of control, rush and busyness. I return to the state of Grace and Receptivity that brings the voice of my Soul to the foreground of my consciousness. I welcome the guidance of my Circle of Light and my Higher Self and receive the blessings of this special Holy Days, bringing me back home to my True Self.”



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Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.

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Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. Find out more at Catch
the Dream Express.
Share this post with your friends
through email or social media.
Click the button below.


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Soul means deep, slow and close to the heart

Soul means deep, slow and close to the heart

Part of the Series Dance with the Music of Life

By Maria Mar©2009

_________________

This is Part 1 of the Series Dance with the Music of Life. Click here or at the end to see the other parts.

___________________

Listen to The Blues. Sing with a cantaor in a Cante Jondo. Grab your partner and groove to a Bolero.

The rhythm is slow. The words come from the depth of the artist’s soul, resonating with yours. The meaning is not in your head. It’s in your heart.

That’s the first and most basic rhythm of life.

You can’t rush through life, just as you can’t rush through The Blues. What’s the rush about, anyway? Are you here to live or to speed through time?

Time is not an expressway where the vehicle of your ego rushes in its way to some known goal. Time is a river. Enter it gently, least you scare the rich ecosystem harbored in its every fluid fold.

Why do you fall for mirages and lies, like believing that you know what’s going to happen, or taking life for granted?

The River of Time is always moving, flowing, changing. It has direction. It flows towards a purpose. The waters are currents that constantly dance. Vibrations constantly moving towards and away. Yet the river has a bed. This solid bed cradles its infinite flow, holding it still, giving it form. The River of Time dances in stillness.

When you learn to navigate this sacred river, life flows gracefully. Time unfolds in miraculous currents of opportunity that take you effortlessly to your destiny. When you cross this sacred river without knowing its laws, you paddle against the current, drain your energy while staying in place, tip the canoe and perish in the mysterious undertow.

Here’s a primer to help you navigate the River of Time.

The River of Time

Flow as if you were singing The Blues.

Do NOT race against the current. Why are you making time your enemy? When you count each minute, you discount the hours and days giving to you to live. Rush devours the notes and kill the song. Each note takes its time. Each silence is part of the composition. Time is like The Blues. Savor each note.

The only way to navigate this sacred river is to flow in it. To flow with it. Don’t fall for the deception that you are in control. You control nothing. Not even yourself. Flow with the current.

Why do you believe that the River of Time, the River of Life is taking you in the wrong direction? The only reason for this belief is that you feel alone. You believe that you are NOT part of the River of Life, that you stand separate and opposite to the Universe. You alone know your purpose. You alone can make it happen. What a heavy weight to carry in your Psychic Shoulders. No wonder your song cannot take flight!

You are part of The River, like the fish. The River knows where you are going. The River knows your Soul. The River takes the fish there. The River takes the Soul there, too.

Okey, so you are not like a fish. Your Soul is not as free as the branch that floats in the currents. You have built a canoe of plans, goals and designs. That’s fine by The River. As long as your canoe floats, The River will take your Soul’s Canoe to its destiny. Why? Because your Soul’s purpose is part of The River’s purpose. It’s part of the Universal purpose. You are a note in the song of The River and The River hears your harmony.

Flowing in The River is trusting the Universe to be your ally. Is feeling your participation and harmony with the world, so that you can receive the push and pull of the currents as help, guidance and support, without struggling.

Surrender to the waters. Give up resistance, control and defensiveness and allow change to take place. Allow the current to move you. Learn to shapeshift. If you are afraid of the unknown, you hold on to the illusion of control as a security blanket. But when you do that you become “too solid.” For a shaman, this means that you hae become so attached to your plans, your ego identity or your expectations or lifescript, that you cannot be fluid. When you approach life fluidly, playfully, you become a master shapeshifter. This allows you to flow artfully and meet anything that flows towards you. This is the true artistry of Soul. It is freedom.

But in order to enjoy the moment, you must stop time. If you are moving all the time, you go out of control and develop obsessions that confuse your path. You stop time by connecting to the bed that cradles the river. By touching bottom.

The River Bed

Remember that the dance starts in stillness. Allow the river bed to cradle your journey.

When there is no stillness, the river becomes wild, treacherous and overflows the bed, flooding the terrain. When there is no body, the river loses sight of its source. Forgetting where it comes from, it does not know where it’s going. The currents attack each other. There is chaos.

The bed of your time in life is timelessness. Empty mind. Stillness. Silence. Stop time and become the bed of the river. Feel the current moving while you stand still. Become quiet and unmovable, like the Earth. WITH the Earth. This grounds you in the source of your being, in the Universal Source. When you are in touch with the source, you know your destiny with clarity. You do not get lost.

Soul touches bottom. It dives into the feelings and longings in your Soul and shakes them loose, bringing them into your consciousness, into your body and mind. To perform this alchemy, you must slow down. You must be present now. Here.

Touch the bottom of the River of Time. Fell the polished stones that shine at the bottom of your Soul. Feel your body. It’s intuitive wisdom connects you to the source. Understand it’s thoughtless reality. Resonate with the vibration of your cells. Listen to that song. Anchor yourself in the truth of your BodySoul. Listen to your bones. Be present in your physical existence.

Don’t try to command and control the River of Time. it has no master. To harvest the waters, connect to the “Orillas” ―to both banks.

In your connection to the banks, you can find any station you want to tune into. You can magnetize any universe or orbit you desire. You can find every conceivable opportunity. The Orillas allow you to give and receive simultaneously, in an instant exchange. The River flows into the land, nurturing its creatures. The land and its creatures flow into The River, nurting its inhabitants.

This is the secret of Soul, the basis of life. This is the art of navigating The River of Time.

  1. Enter the River of Time slowly, in harmony with all the life around you.
  2. Flow with the currents, allowing your personal purpose to be directed by life’s purpose. Allow time to move you in the direction of your dream.
  3. Allow yourself to shapeshift to inhabit the moment. Be fluid.
  4. Touch bottom. Still yourself in the unmovable river bed, anchor yourself in your Soul and be present to your physical existence.
  5. Harvest the waters of the River of Time by connecting with the Orillas, with both banks, in the simultaneous acts of giving and receiving.

Slow down right now. Take a deep, slow inhalation and then let it come up from the bottom, slowly, in velvety depth: your song, your pain, your truth, your longing, your feeling, your movement, your grace, your unique touch. Caress this instant lovingly and let it touch you all the way down to the bones.

That’s living with Soul. That’s the art of navigating the River of Time.

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Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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This is Part 1 of the Series Dance with the Music of Life. Click here to see the other parts as they are added.

Book Review: Love your Body, Love your Life

BOOK REVIEW

by Maria Mar

the Dream Alchemist

Love your Body, Love your Life, by Sarah Maria

 

BOOK: Love your Body, Love your Life:

5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidentially

AUTHOR: Sarah Maria

 

 

Why is the Dream Alchemist reviewing this book? Why should I read it?

There is a lot of talk about “having a Dream” and manifesting it. The Law of Attraction has become almost an obsession in our popular psyche. But as a manifestation expert and shaman, I can assure you that “having a dream” is the easiest way to miss it. There is only one way to manifest your dream, and that is to BE your Dream. To embody it.

How can you embody your dream, however, if you are out of your body?

When you reject your body because it is not the perfect “ideal” body that you’ve come to believe you must have, then you are evicted from the first territory of your physical existence. Your body anchors you in the physical world. Negative Body Image throws away that anchor and evicts you from your body into the shadowlands of self-loathing.

Your body is intimately connected to your Soul, the holder of your Dream. Without your BodySoul, you have no compass to manifest your dream. You may try hard, do a lot, recite affirmations and try to change your thoughts. But nothing will work. Your actions are empty shells without power. Why?

Because the power that animates your intent is not there. Your Intent is the bow that sends the arrow of your Dream into the world. Your Intent comes from your BodySoul.

Reclaiming your love for your self is the first step to reclaim the power of your intent. Reclaiming your love for your body is the basic step to love yourself.

What is so hot about this book? Will I like it?

Sarah Maria’s “Love Love your Body, Love your Life: 5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidentially” is a soul-awakening journey to reclaim the love for your body and for yourself.

What I like about Sarah Maria’s book is that it addresses and integrates all the essential aspects in reclaiming your body: mind, emotions, body and spirit. The book inspires and motivates you. This enables you to activate the deep reserve of wisdom and courage in your spirit. It ignites the intuitive and instinctual power of your body. Then Sarah Maria guides your mind through simple, down to earth explanations and exercises. She addresses the transformational power of your emotions through stories and attitude shifting exercises.

We are all shapeshifters. We have the power to shift our reality. But in this society, we are using this power against ourselves: trying to shapeshift into something or someone else in order to deserve happiness or to fulfill our dreams.

Sarah Maria’s book allows you to use your shapeshifting power to liberate yourself, to BE you. This allows you to live from that real, unique and joyful place called YOU. Once you are there, you don’t need to have the dream because you ARE the dream!

Here’s another reason to get this book now:

I love this book so much that I contributed a gift ebook to Sarah Maria’s special “Rapid Success Gift Package” — a package of bonuses from experts who will help you to manifest the life you want. Sarah Maria added about 165 expert products that you can obtain free when you purchase THIS WEEK. (Week starting November 2, 2009)

Recommended:

**** 4 stars= Excellent read and excellent transformational tool

Read more about the book or purchase it at:

http://www.sarahmaria.com/

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Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Dance with the Music of Life

Hi, beautiful sisters and brothers,

In this 3-part blogging series, I reflect on the rhythms of our lives. I use three popular rhythms or experiences of music to help you explore how you can entrain with the music of life. By bringing yourself into harmony with that music, you are able to stop rushing, pushing and grating against the grain of time. Instead, you can begin to flow effortlessly towards your dreams, living fully and joyfully.

The first part, entitled “Soul Means Deep, Slow and Close to the Heart,” examines the obsessive-compulsive addiction with time and goals that keeps us alienated from our deepest personal truth and from the compass of our BodySoul. In this part, I use the rhythm of Soul, not only Soul as  the music genre, but other soulful rhythms such as Cante Jondo (Flamenco) and Bolero, to help you slow down and reach deep into yourself to enrich your experience of the present.

In the second part, entitled “Salsa Means Spice,” I remind you that life is to be lived in the now, to be enjoyed physically, to be danced with passion. I invite you to give yourself permission to be happy. Nothing like Salsa to get you laughing, moving your hips and enjoying the spontaneity of your being-in-joy. Step up to the pulse of life!

In the third part, entitled “Waltz Through Walls,” I reveal how the subtle power of harmony, embodied by Waltz, can free the vast force of your Infinite True Self, who is one with the Universe. I give you some steps to dissolve the illusion we call “obstacles.” I also let you know how waltzing through life expands your grace, allowing you to float effortlessly with the flow of affluence, with the winds of love.

Stay tune. I’ll post links to the three parts here, as I publish them:

Part 1: Soul Means Deep, Slow and Close to the Heart

Part 2: Salsa means Spice

Part 3: Waltz Through Walls

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com

PS: If you receive this through the email, you will get each part as it is posted.

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You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Relationships and Prosperity

Relationships and Prosperity

By Maria Mar(c)

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships.

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships.

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships because wealth is created as the result of an exchange between people.

What did you learn to expect from strangers? Do you expect others to value you, to remunerate you justly and joyfully, and to trust you?

Or did you learn to expect betrayal, to be cheated or undervalued? Do you expect others to receive you or to reject you?

Carefully examine your expectations about relationships, and you will find the core of your issues with prosperity.

Shifting Beliefs

Here’s a journal writing exercise to help you. Print it and paste the copy in your journal, for easy following.

STEP 1: PREPARATION
Begin with sitting comfortably, your journal and pen in front of you. Breathe deeply and slowly, allowing the air to travel deep into your trunk, all the way down to your lower belly, and exhale as slowly as possible. Do this five times, each time releasing stress from your shoulders, back and face.

STEP 2: INTENTION
Say these words inwardly in your last inhalation, paying attention to each one. Then say them out loud in exhalation, again listening to the sound attentively.

“I welcome the truth of my emotions as guides to my freedom and prosperity. I intend to create new, free ways of connecting to others in the streams of affluence of life.”

STEP 3: EXPECTATIONS
Keep breathing slowly and deeply, allowing the breath to connect you to your body and feelings, as you answer the questions below.

“What do I expect from people, especially those who don’t know me?”

Make a list of a minimum of two and a maximum of five items. Keep the answers short and to the point. Leave ten spaces between each item.

EXAMPLES:

  • I expect people to judge me.
  • I expect people to see my flaws and find me deficient.
  • I expect potential clients to find my prices too high.
  • I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.

STEP 4: BELIEFS

Come back to each item.  In breath, ask the second question.

“What belief creates this expectation?”

Write the answer below each item. Again, try to define the belief as simply and exactly as possible.

EXAMPLES:

  • Expectation: I expect people to judge me.
  • Belief: I am guilty of something bad and people will find me out.
  • Expectation: I expect people to see my flaws and find me deficient.
  • Belief: I am not good enough to be loved.
  • Expectation: I expect potential clients to find my prices too high.
  • Belief: People do not appreciate my true value.
  • Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
  • Belief: I am not that special.

STEP 5: INHERITANCE

Breathing deeply and slowly, go back to each item and track down from whom and how did you learn this. It may be a family belief that has been passed on through generations verbally or non-verbally. It may be a class, race or cultural belief. It may also be a conclusion you made as a child observing your circumstances. Define the source of each expectation/belief without either blaming or excusing those involved, including you. Skip a line, and place your discovery on the third line below each item, like this:

  • Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
  • Belief: I am not that special.
  • Source: My mom always said “Who do you think you are? You are not that special?” She meant to say that I was not above others, but there was also a hidden message that I did not deserve better than others. In my Inner Child’s heart, this voice resonates as “You are not that special.”

STEP 6: ACTIONS

Go back again to each item and recall one habitual action that you do in relationships that responds directly to this belief. Remember to breathe deeply and slowly and honor your emotions. Write the action in the fourth line under the item.

  • Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
  • Belief: I am not that special.
  • Source: My mom always said “Who do you think you are? You are not that special?” She meant to say that I was not above others, but there was also a hidden message that I did not deserve better than others. In my Inner Child’s heart, this voice resonates as “You are not that special.”
  • Action: I forget to bring my business cards and I am always apologizing for not having them, that way I have an excuse for why they won’t call me.

STEP 7: FREE CHOICE

Examine the belief and decide whether you are ready and willing to release it.

Once you make the choice, close your eyes. Shift your perception of yourself to your Sacred Self, who is larger than your physical or ego self, and who is one with God.  See that small self with compassion and love. Allow a smile to come from within, as you realize the childlike mistake of these beliefs. From that place, inhale forgiveness and exhale release. Do these three times.

  • Inhale as you wrap yourself in forgiveness.
  • Exhale as you release the old beliefs.

STEP 8: NEW BELIEFS

write down a new belief to substitute each old belief. Skip a line. Write in caps the title “NEW BELIEF” and then write the new belief

It is a fact that there is no other human being like me. My fingerprints are unique. My DNA is unique. My personal history is unique and I am a unique, special and wonderful expression of divinity.

STEP 9: CONSCIOUS LIVING

During the next 30 days, observe yourself in relationships. Catch yourself doing the old actions and methodically shift to the new actions that reflect and nurture your new beliefs.

Remember that these beliefs were implanted in you very early on, when you did not have the experience or ability to discern. They have been embedded through years of practice. Be compassionate with yourself when you respond from the old beliefs, and kindly, but firmly repeat your new belief to yourself and keep choosing the new actions.

Celebrate when you respond from your new beliefs. Your subconscious is like a child. It responds to positive feedback. Focus on the times you do it right and never judge or belittle yourself when you respond from the old beliefs.

Your evolution is not a project. It is process. Patience with yourself nurtures your self-love.

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You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Are you a toxic magnet?

Are you a Toxic Magnet?

By Maria Mar(c)2009

Excerpt from

Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them

Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course

Are you signaling toxic people that you are a willing prey?

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Are you an unwilling, unconscious magnet for toxic people? If you often find yourself dealing with toxic people or if the effects of toxic encounters affect you more and for a longer time than they affect others, then you may be a Toxic Magnet.

Just because you have a couple of toxic relationships that need addressing or because you know some toxic people does not mean that you are a Toxic Magnet. Toxic people are everywhere. You are bound to meet a couple of every month, at least. Whether you hook up with them or not is another matter.

But if you often suffer from the anxiety, emotional torture and negative drama that toxic people generate, then you may want to examine if you are a Toxic Magnet.

This mini self-assessment is an excerpt from Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them, a digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course that helps you understand, transform and release the toxic relationships in your life.

To establish your Primary Emotional Response Pattern, in the list below, check any feelings that arise from your toxic encounter. Address one encounter at a time.

SECTION A

___  I keep thinking that I’ve done something wrong and keep trying to come up with another way of responding, but everything fails.

___   I feel guilty when I tell the person how I feel or when I set limits.

___  I feel hurt and sad. I want the person to tell me that she loves me and accept me as I am.

SECTION B

___    I want to win. I want her to apologize and accept that she is wrong. I keep bring up evidence and arguments, but she won’t give in.

___    I feel trapped and frustrated. I can’t find a way to get a win-win solution. Everything I say is misinterpreted and I am at the end of my wit.

___    I wrap myself in patience and try to address each complaint. But the complaints never seize and it’s frustrating.

SECTION C

___    I feel that I am more mature and healthy than this person and should be able to address the situation in an effective way.

___    I allow the person to rant and rave or do her acting out. I feel like a mother waiting for a kid to finish a tantrum.

___    I speak to her as to a child, softly and calmly. I listen attentively and then ask questions.

SECTION D

___    I feel exhausted. I am drained of all energy. I feel unable to continue with this dynamic, and at the same time, I am scared of what she might do if I do not continue.

___    My overwhelming feeling is fear. Fear that I may be fired, that I will be judged, that I will be exposed or hurt. I feel intimidated.

___    I can’t find my voice. I want to scream or confront the person, but I get a lump in my throat.

SECTION E

___    I want to go away and avoid the whole thing because it causes too much anxiety.

___    I go away emotionally. I feel frozen or paralyzed or simply disappear and show up when it’s all over.

___    I am shocked. I can’t believe it. It all becomes a blur.

Look at the section that has the most checks. That’s your Primary Emotional Response Patterns.

Section A= Defective

Section B=Fixer

Section C=Saint

Section D=Follower

Section E=Sleepwalker

Types of Toxic Magnets

We humans are complex beings. Once you have dived into the infinite layers of the subconscious, you learn that we are as vast as all universes existing throughout eternity.

Therefore, the types that are presented in this self-assessment barely scratch the surface of your Toxic Magnet behaviors and beliefs. Furthermore, you will rarely fit only in one Toxic Magnet Type.

However, recognizing your Primary Emotional Responses allows you to spot how a specific toxic person or situation triggers a specific type of Toxic Magnet response in you. Since you cannot change the other, but you can change your responses, this information empowers you to change the responses that keep you hooked in the Toxic Dance.

Section A: The Defectives

If you checked a majority of items in Section A, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Defectives. The Defectives secretly feel defective, damaged, less than others or insufficient. They seek to gain value by giving, being good, serving others, placating or appeasing or by playing second best.

If you fit this profile, this does not mean that you ARE defective. It means that the Ugly Duckling is alive somewhere in your psyche, stealing the majestic Swan you truly are. This hooks you up with toxic people, who are big blamers. Their blaming triggers your secret feelings of not being enough and keeps you hooked in the Toxic Dance.

Section B: The Fixers

If you checked a majority of items in Section B, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Fixers. The Fixers need something or someone to fix in order to distract themselves from their own issues. They have inherited an emotional belief that they cannot be loved unless they give others what they want, unless they are needed, in control or perfect.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a control freak and want to fix everyone ―though this may also be true. It means that when a toxic person complaints or blame others or a situation for their actions, you get hooked trying to solve the problem and that fixing obsession keeps you in the Toxic Dance.

Section C: The Followers

If you checked a majority of items in Section C, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Followers. The Followers learned to blend with the wall paper in order to avoid conflict or abuse. They focus on others to gain their support and avoid decisions, risks or responsibility. They are afraid to assume their power or leadership or to speak their truth.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a coward who is easily bullied. It means that when a toxic person displays intimidating behavior, you may be unable to stand up to this person. You may freeze, lose your voice or give in to avoid conflicts. By giving in, you stay in the Toxic Dance.

Section D: The Saints

If you checked a majority of items in Section D, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Saints. The Saints believe that they have to sacrifice in order to deserve a place in the world. They also believe that to gain heaven or spiritual evolution, they need to sacrifice their own desires, happiness and sometimes even their wellbeing.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a goody-two-shoes who can’t stand up for herself. It means that when a toxic person trespasses your personal boundaries, you are going to use inappropriate compassion to enable their inappropriate behavior. By sacrificing your personal needs and not prioritizing your own feelings and desires, you get pulled into the Toxic Dance

Section E: The Sleep-walkers

If you checked a majority of items in Section E, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Sleep-Walker. The Sleep-Walkers “go away” at the least sign of danger, confrontation or risk. They may do this by disconnecting emotionally or mentally from the situation, literally leaving, “switching off” or using an addictive behavior or substance.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE Sleeping Beauty personified ―though you should track down how pervasive this reaction is in your life. It means that when a toxic person discharges their toxic energy or creates conflicts, you will not be able to take effective action because you will fall into the sleeping trance, which keeps you in the Toxic Dance.

I hope that in recognizing the role you may play in attracting, hooking up with or allowing the toxic behavior, you have realized to what measure you may be a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you avoid your responsibility and are afraid of assuming your Personal Power, in that measure you become a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you are not willing to see what you see, in which you avoid the truth and try to change, appease or follow others to avoid confrontation, in that same measure your become a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you see what you see, take responsibility for your choices and assume your Personal Power, in that same measure you signal to toxic people that you are not prey.

In the measure in which you honor your truth, release control over others and stand as your self-authority, in that same measure you are free from the hooks and attachments that keep people in the Toxic Dance.

The END

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Maria Mar(c)2009. Maria Mar is a writer, inspirational speaker and poet, a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman. Maria helps people understand and release toxic relationships in the Toxic
Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them
Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course


Peer pressure and toxic relationships

Peer Pressure

and Toxic Relationships

Excerpt from


The Toxic Relationship Self-help Kit:


Love them, but LEAVE them

By Maria Mar(c)2009

Terrified Tweeter jumped from
branch to branch, tweeting as hard as she could. Her friends, scared of the
terrible danger that the small bird announced, stayed safely at a distance.

They admired Tweeter’s courage. Such a tiny bird, staying on the same tree
as that mean predator, Haughty Hawk. What courage! Small as she was,
Terrified Tweeter was relentless. Her tweets were so loud that her whole
body shook with their resonance.

Meanwhile Hawk sat on a steady
branch at the other side of the Ancient Tree, meditating. But it was hard to
meditate with all the racket that the tiny bird was creating. Haughty Hawk
was annoyed. Why was the bird so scared now, when they had co-existed
peacefully for years?

“I thought she was my friend,”

Haughty Hawk reflected. “Go figure these tiny tweeters. They are always
scared.”

Haughty Hawk had also been
scared as it grew up in the noisy city, with the Two-legged predators so
nearby. But now that she was meditating and learning the Ways of the
Warrior, she had chosen to live without fear. She had learned to empty her
mind and visualize her desires, and she had grown strong and confident.

But the more confident Haughty
Hawk grew, the louder Terrified Tweetie squeaked each time Hawk came close.
She had managed to scare all the other birds, who disappeared the minute
Haughty Hawk perched in any of the Ancient Trees around.

Haughty Hawk began to feel more
than resentful. She became angry.

“Perhaps I should give her
reason to tweet,” Haughty Hawk considered, her trained eye gauging the
distance between the scared bird and her branch. In a split second, she
could have the naughty bird in her beak, and she could then meditate in
silence.

Haughty Hawk caught herself in
her fantasies of revenge and released her toxic feelings with a sigh. She
dived her Inner Eye deep into her heart. There she saw and felt the
pain that her new loneliness inflicted. She was sad that her tiny friends
would distrust her after all this time.

Haughty Hawk remembered when
she had caught them murmuring behind her back.

“She says that she is
harnessing power,” they nervously tweeted.

“What could she possibly want
to do with all that power, except eat us all?” they squeaked.

Haughty Hawk smiled sadly. She
remembered when she, too was scared of the great Eagle, the large Hunter
Hawks and the daring Crows. She had felt so small that she had not
understood her own power. She had, like her tiny friends, thought of power
only as a threat, not something she held inside for her own fulfillment.

“Oh, well, tweets will be
tweets!” Hawk finally said to herself. “And I am a Master Warrior.”

She gracefully flew to a near
lamppost and began her concentration again. She was visualizing one of the
fat rats that were coming out of the ground during the construction that the
Two-Legged were doing in the street below.

But Terrified Tweeter didn’t
get it. She still tweeted as if her feathers had caught fire. Nothing
stirred among the Ancient Trees. Nothing moved in miles around. The scared
tweet was doing a great job of scaring all possible prey.

As I looked at this scene, the
beautiful white spotted hawk flew towards a distant tree. I couldn’t get my
eyes off her majestic, silent flight. Still terrified, the small tweeter
squeaked behind my back.

As you read the fable above, were you immediately sympathetic with the small bird, seeing her as the hero and hawk as the bad guy? That is our collective tendency. We instinctively seek justice. But we cannot make true justice if we confuse power with dominance. For if we do, we will be manipulated by those who play the victim and we will repel and punish those who stand in their power. This confusion is at the heart of toxic relationships.

Power as defined by our patriarchal system, is control and dominance. But that is only an illusion of power. When we believe this illusion, we reject power. When we reject power, we align ourselves with helplessness. We make those with personal power our enemies. We repel mentors, teachers and those friends and peers who assume their power. In other words, we become toxic to those who seek freedom, joy and growth.

When we align ourselves with powerlessness, we are afraid to speak with our voice of authority. We place an interrogation mark at the end of our declarations and beat around the bush to speak our truth. We constrict our bodies and our voices. We dream tiny and stay safely perched in our Comfort Zone.

If you have courageously stepped out of that Comfort Zone, you may
unknowingly be facing peer pressure.

We tell our children not to give in to peer pressure. But many adults are clueless as to the level of peer pressure they carry on their Psychic
Shoulders
. As a result, they give in to peer pressure, betraying their
Personal Dreams and their spiritual growth.

Children and teens are more direct on their peer pressure tactics. They may result to insults or name-calling. Adults are more subtle. Friends will distance themselves. Peers will murmur behind your back. Family members will close ranks and mount a campaign to wear or break you down. Because they know you well, they know your Breaking Points. They will go for these weak areas in your psyche. This emotional and psychic attack that can undermine your motivation and your energy level.

When you feel that the people you love resist your growth or sabotage your dreams you feel sad, betrayed, resentful, revengeful, angry and lonely. If you are afraid of confrontation and used to the lies of the dysfunctional family, you may join their betrayal by excusing their behavior and going back to your learned limits of perception.

Is it a wonder, then, that many of us go back on our personal growth and give up on our dreams?

If you dream big, you are big. Once you acknowledge your personal power and reclaim your personal authority, you soon find yourself among the Majestic Swans, the Great Eagles, the Master Hunter Hawks and Daring Crows.

Those whom you left behind will tweet loudly and persistently.

“Change back! Change back!” they will squeak.

Perhaps they will not be as raucous as Terrified Tweeter. Perhaps they will give you the silent treatment or the cold shoulder.

What will you do then? What have you done?

Have you given up on your new friends? Have you given up on your new dreams? Have you drowned your desires deep inside yourself? Have you gone back to the humdrum of a life without passion?

It is important for you to recognize the peer pressure tactics of the adults around you. Find the best way to address the fears of your family and peers. If it is possible, bring them into the open. If not, give them special love and attention to ensure them that you still love them and they have nothing to fear.

You also need to recognize your sadness and allow yourself to grieve for your past life. These are growing pains. Every woman and man who has achieved something great ―whether a new discovery that changed humanity or a state of personal fulfillment― has gone through these growing pains. Use the Time Traveling Exercise at the end of this chapter to address your growing pains.

Be firm, however, in your new boundaries, dreams and lifestyle. Above all, do not allow the fear of those in your past to bring down your vibration.

Big dreams require a high vibrational level. The changes you are making in your life are changing your vibrational frequency, so that you can tolerate a higher vibration and can manifest and live in your dream.

Those who cannot tolerate the high vibrational frequency of freedom,
courage, confidence, power, joy and passion may squeak warning signals to you. They may project their own fears or limiting beliefs. They will poke your Breaking Points, exacerbating the old limited beliefs that keep you confined in your old lifestyle.

If you recognize what is happening, you can use this situation to examine your Breaking Points. The confrontation you may experience at this time can then help you to weave a strong mesh in the wounded areas of your energy field. By addressing the limited beliefs and releasing learned fears, you will be able to prevent the many energy leakages that have brought your energy frequency down. You will come out of this experience having transformed your Breaking Points into your strongest points.

On the other hand, give in to peer pressure, and you will begin to fade back into the life that you were trying to escape.

At this time it is especially important to maintain your new friends and allies. You need people who can vibrate at the higher frequency because they “lend you energy.” This means that they bring you into musical entrainment with their energy vibration, helping you generate a higher frequency and sustain it for longer periods of time.

This is an excerpt from

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit:

Love them, but LEAVE them



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Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!