Relationships and Prosperity

Relationships and Prosperity

By Maria Mar(c)

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships.

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships.

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships because wealth is created as the result of an exchange between people.

What did you learn to expect from strangers? Do you expect others to value you, to remunerate you justly and joyfully, and to trust you?

Or did you learn to expect betrayal, to be cheated or undervalued? Do you expect others to receive you or to reject you?

Carefully examine your expectations about relationships, and you will find the core of your issues with prosperity.

Shifting Beliefs

Here’s a journal writing exercise to help you. Print it and paste the copy in your journal, for easy following.

STEP 1: PREPARATION
Begin with sitting comfortably, your journal and pen in front of you. Breathe deeply and slowly, allowing the air to travel deep into your trunk, all the way down to your lower belly, and exhale as slowly as possible. Do this five times, each time releasing stress from your shoulders, back and face.

STEP 2: INTENTION
Say these words inwardly in your last inhalation, paying attention to each one. Then say them out loud in exhalation, again listening to the sound attentively.

“I welcome the truth of my emotions as guides to my freedom and prosperity. I intend to create new, free ways of connecting to others in the streams of affluence of life.”

STEP 3: EXPECTATIONS
Keep breathing slowly and deeply, allowing the breath to connect you to your body and feelings, as you answer the questions below.

“What do I expect from people, especially those who don’t know me?”

Make a list of a minimum of two and a maximum of five items. Keep the answers short and to the point. Leave ten spaces between each item.

EXAMPLES:

  • I expect people to judge me.
  • I expect people to see my flaws and find me deficient.
  • I expect potential clients to find my prices too high.
  • I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.

STEP 4: BELIEFS

Come back to each item.  In breath, ask the second question.

“What belief creates this expectation?”

Write the answer below each item. Again, try to define the belief as simply and exactly as possible.

EXAMPLES:

  • Expectation: I expect people to judge me.
  • Belief: I am guilty of something bad and people will find me out.
  • Expectation: I expect people to see my flaws and find me deficient.
  • Belief: I am not good enough to be loved.
  • Expectation: I expect potential clients to find my prices too high.
  • Belief: People do not appreciate my true value.
  • Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
  • Belief: I am not that special.

STEP 5: INHERITANCE

Breathing deeply and slowly, go back to each item and track down from whom and how did you learn this. It may be a family belief that has been passed on through generations verbally or non-verbally. It may be a class, race or cultural belief. It may also be a conclusion you made as a child observing your circumstances. Define the source of each expectation/belief without either blaming or excusing those involved, including you. Skip a line, and place your discovery on the third line below each item, like this:

  • Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
  • Belief: I am not that special.
  • Source: My mom always said “Who do you think you are? You are not that special?” She meant to say that I was not above others, but there was also a hidden message that I did not deserve better than others. In my Inner Child’s heart, this voice resonates as “You are not that special.”

STEP 6: ACTIONS

Go back again to each item and recall one habitual action that you do in relationships that responds directly to this belief. Remember to breathe deeply and slowly and honor your emotions. Write the action in the fourth line under the item.

  • Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
  • Belief: I am not that special.
  • Source: My mom always said “Who do you think you are? You are not that special?” She meant to say that I was not above others, but there was also a hidden message that I did not deserve better than others. In my Inner Child’s heart, this voice resonates as “You are not that special.”
  • Action: I forget to bring my business cards and I am always apologizing for not having them, that way I have an excuse for why they won’t call me.

STEP 7: FREE CHOICE

Examine the belief and decide whether you are ready and willing to release it.

Once you make the choice, close your eyes. Shift your perception of yourself to your Sacred Self, who is larger than your physical or ego self, and who is one with God.  See that small self with compassion and love. Allow a smile to come from within, as you realize the childlike mistake of these beliefs. From that place, inhale forgiveness and exhale release. Do these three times.

  • Inhale as you wrap yourself in forgiveness.
  • Exhale as you release the old beliefs.

STEP 8: NEW BELIEFS

write down a new belief to substitute each old belief. Skip a line. Write in caps the title “NEW BELIEF” and then write the new belief

It is a fact that there is no other human being like me. My fingerprints are unique. My DNA is unique. My personal history is unique and I am a unique, special and wonderful expression of divinity.

STEP 9: CONSCIOUS LIVING

During the next 30 days, observe yourself in relationships. Catch yourself doing the old actions and methodically shift to the new actions that reflect and nurture your new beliefs.

Remember that these beliefs were implanted in you very early on, when you did not have the experience or ability to discern. They have been embedded through years of practice. Be compassionate with yourself when you respond from the old beliefs, and kindly, but firmly repeat your new belief to yourself and keep choosing the new actions.

Celebrate when you respond from your new beliefs. Your subconscious is like a child. It responds to positive feedback. Focus on the times you do it right and never judge or belittle yourself when you respond from the old beliefs.

Your evolution is not a project. It is process. Patience with yourself nurtures your self-love.

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Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Are you a toxic magnet?

Are you a Toxic Magnet?

By Maria Mar(c)2009

Excerpt from

Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them

Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course

Are you signaling toxic people that you are a willing prey?

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Are you an unwilling, unconscious magnet for toxic people? If you often find yourself dealing with toxic people or if the effects of toxic encounters affect you more and for a longer time than they affect others, then you may be a Toxic Magnet.

Just because you have a couple of toxic relationships that need addressing or because you know some toxic people does not mean that you are a Toxic Magnet. Toxic people are everywhere. You are bound to meet a couple of every month, at least. Whether you hook up with them or not is another matter.

But if you often suffer from the anxiety, emotional torture and negative drama that toxic people generate, then you may want to examine if you are a Toxic Magnet.

This mini self-assessment is an excerpt from Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them, a digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course that helps you understand, transform and release the toxic relationships in your life.

To establish your Primary Emotional Response Pattern, in the list below, check any feelings that arise from your toxic encounter. Address one encounter at a time.

SECTION A

___  I keep thinking that I’ve done something wrong and keep trying to come up with another way of responding, but everything fails.

___   I feel guilty when I tell the person how I feel or when I set limits.

___  I feel hurt and sad. I want the person to tell me that she loves me and accept me as I am.

SECTION B

___    I want to win. I want her to apologize and accept that she is wrong. I keep bring up evidence and arguments, but she won’t give in.

___    I feel trapped and frustrated. I can’t find a way to get a win-win solution. Everything I say is misinterpreted and I am at the end of my wit.

___    I wrap myself in patience and try to address each complaint. But the complaints never seize and it’s frustrating.

SECTION C

___    I feel that I am more mature and healthy than this person and should be able to address the situation in an effective way.

___    I allow the person to rant and rave or do her acting out. I feel like a mother waiting for a kid to finish a tantrum.

___    I speak to her as to a child, softly and calmly. I listen attentively and then ask questions.

SECTION D

___    I feel exhausted. I am drained of all energy. I feel unable to continue with this dynamic, and at the same time, I am scared of what she might do if I do not continue.

___    My overwhelming feeling is fear. Fear that I may be fired, that I will be judged, that I will be exposed or hurt. I feel intimidated.

___    I can’t find my voice. I want to scream or confront the person, but I get a lump in my throat.

SECTION E

___    I want to go away and avoid the whole thing because it causes too much anxiety.

___    I go away emotionally. I feel frozen or paralyzed or simply disappear and show up when it’s all over.

___    I am shocked. I can’t believe it. It all becomes a blur.

Look at the section that has the most checks. That’s your Primary Emotional Response Patterns.

Section A= Defective

Section B=Fixer

Section C=Saint

Section D=Follower

Section E=Sleepwalker

Types of Toxic Magnets

We humans are complex beings. Once you have dived into the infinite layers of the subconscious, you learn that we are as vast as all universes existing throughout eternity.

Therefore, the types that are presented in this self-assessment barely scratch the surface of your Toxic Magnet behaviors and beliefs. Furthermore, you will rarely fit only in one Toxic Magnet Type.

However, recognizing your Primary Emotional Responses allows you to spot how a specific toxic person or situation triggers a specific type of Toxic Magnet response in you. Since you cannot change the other, but you can change your responses, this information empowers you to change the responses that keep you hooked in the Toxic Dance.

Section A: The Defectives

If you checked a majority of items in Section A, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Defectives. The Defectives secretly feel defective, damaged, less than others or insufficient. They seek to gain value by giving, being good, serving others, placating or appeasing or by playing second best.

If you fit this profile, this does not mean that you ARE defective. It means that the Ugly Duckling is alive somewhere in your psyche, stealing the majestic Swan you truly are. This hooks you up with toxic people, who are big blamers. Their blaming triggers your secret feelings of not being enough and keeps you hooked in the Toxic Dance.

Section B: The Fixers

If you checked a majority of items in Section B, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Fixers. The Fixers need something or someone to fix in order to distract themselves from their own issues. They have inherited an emotional belief that they cannot be loved unless they give others what they want, unless they are needed, in control or perfect.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a control freak and want to fix everyone ―though this may also be true. It means that when a toxic person complaints or blame others or a situation for their actions, you get hooked trying to solve the problem and that fixing obsession keeps you in the Toxic Dance.

Section C: The Followers

If you checked a majority of items in Section C, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Followers. The Followers learned to blend with the wall paper in order to avoid conflict or abuse. They focus on others to gain their support and avoid decisions, risks or responsibility. They are afraid to assume their power or leadership or to speak their truth.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a coward who is easily bullied. It means that when a toxic person displays intimidating behavior, you may be unable to stand up to this person. You may freeze, lose your voice or give in to avoid conflicts. By giving in, you stay in the Toxic Dance.

Section D: The Saints

If you checked a majority of items in Section D, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Saints. The Saints believe that they have to sacrifice in order to deserve a place in the world. They also believe that to gain heaven or spiritual evolution, they need to sacrifice their own desires, happiness and sometimes even their wellbeing.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a goody-two-shoes who can’t stand up for herself. It means that when a toxic person trespasses your personal boundaries, you are going to use inappropriate compassion to enable their inappropriate behavior. By sacrificing your personal needs and not prioritizing your own feelings and desires, you get pulled into the Toxic Dance

Section E: The Sleep-walkers

If you checked a majority of items in Section E, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Sleep-Walker. The Sleep-Walkers “go away” at the least sign of danger, confrontation or risk. They may do this by disconnecting emotionally or mentally from the situation, literally leaving, “switching off” or using an addictive behavior or substance.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE Sleeping Beauty personified ―though you should track down how pervasive this reaction is in your life. It means that when a toxic person discharges their toxic energy or creates conflicts, you will not be able to take effective action because you will fall into the sleeping trance, which keeps you in the Toxic Dance.

I hope that in recognizing the role you may play in attracting, hooking up with or allowing the toxic behavior, you have realized to what measure you may be a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you avoid your responsibility and are afraid of assuming your Personal Power, in that measure you become a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you are not willing to see what you see, in which you avoid the truth and try to change, appease or follow others to avoid confrontation, in that same measure your become a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you see what you see, take responsibility for your choices and assume your Personal Power, in that same measure you signal to toxic people that you are not prey.

In the measure in which you honor your truth, release control over others and stand as your self-authority, in that same measure you are free from the hooks and attachments that keep people in the Toxic Dance.

The END

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You can use this article in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar(c)2009. Maria Mar is a writer, inspirational speaker and poet, a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman. Maria helps people understand and release toxic relationships in the Toxic
Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them
Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course


Peer pressure and toxic relationships

Peer Pressure

and Toxic Relationships

Excerpt from


The Toxic Relationship Self-help Kit:


Love them, but LEAVE them

By Maria Mar(c)2009

Terrified Tweeter jumped from
branch to branch, tweeting as hard as she could. Her friends, scared of the
terrible danger that the small bird announced, stayed safely at a distance.

They admired Tweeter’s courage. Such a tiny bird, staying on the same tree
as that mean predator, Haughty Hawk. What courage! Small as she was,
Terrified Tweeter was relentless. Her tweets were so loud that her whole
body shook with their resonance.

Meanwhile Hawk sat on a steady
branch at the other side of the Ancient Tree, meditating. But it was hard to
meditate with all the racket that the tiny bird was creating. Haughty Hawk
was annoyed. Why was the bird so scared now, when they had co-existed
peacefully for years?

“I thought she was my friend,”

Haughty Hawk reflected. “Go figure these tiny tweeters. They are always
scared.”

Haughty Hawk had also been
scared as it grew up in the noisy city, with the Two-legged predators so
nearby. But now that she was meditating and learning the Ways of the
Warrior, she had chosen to live without fear. She had learned to empty her
mind and visualize her desires, and she had grown strong and confident.

But the more confident Haughty
Hawk grew, the louder Terrified Tweetie squeaked each time Hawk came close.
She had managed to scare all the other birds, who disappeared the minute
Haughty Hawk perched in any of the Ancient Trees around.

Haughty Hawk began to feel more
than resentful. She became angry.

“Perhaps I should give her
reason to tweet,” Haughty Hawk considered, her trained eye gauging the
distance between the scared bird and her branch. In a split second, she
could have the naughty bird in her beak, and she could then meditate in
silence.

Haughty Hawk caught herself in
her fantasies of revenge and released her toxic feelings with a sigh. She
dived her Inner Eye deep into her heart. There she saw and felt the
pain that her new loneliness inflicted. She was sad that her tiny friends
would distrust her after all this time.

Haughty Hawk remembered when
she had caught them murmuring behind her back.

“She says that she is
harnessing power,” they nervously tweeted.

“What could she possibly want
to do with all that power, except eat us all?” they squeaked.

Haughty Hawk smiled sadly. She
remembered when she, too was scared of the great Eagle, the large Hunter
Hawks and the daring Crows. She had felt so small that she had not
understood her own power. She had, like her tiny friends, thought of power
only as a threat, not something she held inside for her own fulfillment.

“Oh, well, tweets will be
tweets!” Hawk finally said to herself. “And I am a Master Warrior.”

She gracefully flew to a near
lamppost and began her concentration again. She was visualizing one of the
fat rats that were coming out of the ground during the construction that the
Two-Legged were doing in the street below.

But Terrified Tweeter didn’t
get it. She still tweeted as if her feathers had caught fire. Nothing
stirred among the Ancient Trees. Nothing moved in miles around. The scared
tweet was doing a great job of scaring all possible prey.

As I looked at this scene, the
beautiful white spotted hawk flew towards a distant tree. I couldn’t get my
eyes off her majestic, silent flight. Still terrified, the small tweeter
squeaked behind my back.

As you read the fable above, were you immediately sympathetic with the small bird, seeing her as the hero and hawk as the bad guy? That is our collective tendency. We instinctively seek justice. But we cannot make true justice if we confuse power with dominance. For if we do, we will be manipulated by those who play the victim and we will repel and punish those who stand in their power. This confusion is at the heart of toxic relationships.

Power as defined by our patriarchal system, is control and dominance. But that is only an illusion of power. When we believe this illusion, we reject power. When we reject power, we align ourselves with helplessness. We make those with personal power our enemies. We repel mentors, teachers and those friends and peers who assume their power. In other words, we become toxic to those who seek freedom, joy and growth.

When we align ourselves with powerlessness, we are afraid to speak with our voice of authority. We place an interrogation mark at the end of our declarations and beat around the bush to speak our truth. We constrict our bodies and our voices. We dream tiny and stay safely perched in our Comfort Zone.

If you have courageously stepped out of that Comfort Zone, you may
unknowingly be facing peer pressure.

We tell our children not to give in to peer pressure. But many adults are clueless as to the level of peer pressure they carry on their Psychic
Shoulders
. As a result, they give in to peer pressure, betraying their
Personal Dreams and their spiritual growth.

Children and teens are more direct on their peer pressure tactics. They may result to insults or name-calling. Adults are more subtle. Friends will distance themselves. Peers will murmur behind your back. Family members will close ranks and mount a campaign to wear or break you down. Because they know you well, they know your Breaking Points. They will go for these weak areas in your psyche. This emotional and psychic attack that can undermine your motivation and your energy level.

When you feel that the people you love resist your growth or sabotage your dreams you feel sad, betrayed, resentful, revengeful, angry and lonely. If you are afraid of confrontation and used to the lies of the dysfunctional family, you may join their betrayal by excusing their behavior and going back to your learned limits of perception.

Is it a wonder, then, that many of us go back on our personal growth and give up on our dreams?

If you dream big, you are big. Once you acknowledge your personal power and reclaim your personal authority, you soon find yourself among the Majestic Swans, the Great Eagles, the Master Hunter Hawks and Daring Crows.

Those whom you left behind will tweet loudly and persistently.

“Change back! Change back!” they will squeak.

Perhaps they will not be as raucous as Terrified Tweeter. Perhaps they will give you the silent treatment or the cold shoulder.

What will you do then? What have you done?

Have you given up on your new friends? Have you given up on your new dreams? Have you drowned your desires deep inside yourself? Have you gone back to the humdrum of a life without passion?

It is important for you to recognize the peer pressure tactics of the adults around you. Find the best way to address the fears of your family and peers. If it is possible, bring them into the open. If not, give them special love and attention to ensure them that you still love them and they have nothing to fear.

You also need to recognize your sadness and allow yourself to grieve for your past life. These are growing pains. Every woman and man who has achieved something great ―whether a new discovery that changed humanity or a state of personal fulfillment― has gone through these growing pains. Use the Time Traveling Exercise at the end of this chapter to address your growing pains.

Be firm, however, in your new boundaries, dreams and lifestyle. Above all, do not allow the fear of those in your past to bring down your vibration.

Big dreams require a high vibrational level. The changes you are making in your life are changing your vibrational frequency, so that you can tolerate a higher vibration and can manifest and live in your dream.

Those who cannot tolerate the high vibrational frequency of freedom,
courage, confidence, power, joy and passion may squeak warning signals to you. They may project their own fears or limiting beliefs. They will poke your Breaking Points, exacerbating the old limited beliefs that keep you confined in your old lifestyle.

If you recognize what is happening, you can use this situation to examine your Breaking Points. The confrontation you may experience at this time can then help you to weave a strong mesh in the wounded areas of your energy field. By addressing the limited beliefs and releasing learned fears, you will be able to prevent the many energy leakages that have brought your energy frequency down. You will come out of this experience having transformed your Breaking Points into your strongest points.

On the other hand, give in to peer pressure, and you will begin to fade back into the life that you were trying to escape.

At this time it is especially important to maintain your new friends and allies. You need people who can vibrate at the higher frequency because they “lend you energy.” This means that they bring you into musical entrainment with their energy vibration, helping you generate a higher frequency and sustain it for longer periods of time.

This is an excerpt from

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit:

Love them, but LEAVE them



Pre-order your copy now.

No obligation to purchase or pre-payment.

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You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

Obsession or manifestation?

Obsession or manifestation?

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

In this interview, artist-shaman Maria Mar, the Dream Alchemist,  interviews a Master of manifestation and spiritual teacher and healer, Sugandhi Iyer, to help you discover the difference between obsessing for what you want, and focusing on your goals with pure intent.


MARIA MAR

Sugandhi, you have stated that “Manifestation starts when obsession ends.” How does obsession block the flow of the Law of Attraction?

SUGANDHI IYER

Obsession indicates a state where the mind is captured by a subject matter to such a degree that it may exclude all else and cause discomfort.

The mind is like recording material and is also a processing tool. When it finds something fascinating, it keeps on chewing about it. When you obsess about something or someone, most times you are drawing attention away from the thing or person(s) that you should be spending your time on, and most times that something or person is ‘you’.

For example, some people develop a romantic obsession, and in extreme cases they forget to eat, sleep and take care of their own selves. This obsession is unhealthy because the time and energy could be spent developing yourself and other life areas. Every life area needs attention.

Many times such obsession may also block out the subject of the obsession itself, because the mind is spending time trying to hopelessly figure out how to get the subject of the obsession, and this gives out resultant vibrations of fear and lack, attracting more of the same back.

________________________

MARIA MAR

What is the difference between obsession, pure intent and single-pointed focus?

SUGANDHI IYER

Obsession is the compulsive preoccupation with an idea or something, and this preoccupation creates anxiety. Normally, obsession is accompanied by tones of impossibility.

Pure intent is when you have an intention to do or be something and you know that it is possible.

For example, you intend to treat yourself to a nice evening out this weekend. If you know you can be invited or take yourself out and do it, then it is a pure intent free of feelings of difficulty. You have an idea, and you carry it out. It is simple in your books and well within your ability to create or do. It actually makes you feel good just thinking about it, or anticipating it, knowing full well that it is possible.

Single pointed focus is your ability to give complete attention to something.

This is where you consciously decide to focus on something. This normally does not give rise to anxiety because it is within your control to defocus if you so choose.

For example, you may decide to go to the gym and work on your abs five days a week. You are focused and give this task your single pointed attention. Now if you decide you don’t want to do this, you can take your attention and focus off and turn it to something else. Like I said, this is within your control.

Obsession on the other hand, is normally not in your control and is dictated more by habits and patterns that have become set in your mind. You are not the master of your focus on the subject matter, but rather your subject matter captures your focus to an extent where your conscious mind no longer has much of a say. You don’t happily decide to do something here but are governed more by a fatal attraction.

________________________

MARIA MAR

What are the most important steps a woman can take to free herself from obsession?

SUGANDHI IYER

If you need to temporarily develop resistance towards the subject matter of the obsession, then do it.

For example, if you like a man who you think is tall, dark and handsome, and you feel like you are overly obsessing about this man, find something in him that is “not so great”. Maybe he talks with a funny accent, or chews his food too loudly. Start to laugh thinking about it and allow your mind to become free. You can now actually enjoy this man, more as a normal man, and not the ‘icon’ that you think he is.

Meanwhile, build up your own self-worth. Empower yourself, and bring your focus back to you. Work out, read, sing, discover hidden talents, build on these talents, feel delighted with yourself and how you cook, walk, talk, smile and even clean your house! Focus on your job, volunteer and do some service, and realize how amazingly beautiful you are. Then find something in you, or in a hobby, or in your job, that is even more attractive to you, or at least attractive enough that it is able to capture your mind first for a few minutes, and then more and more.

As the subject of your obsession loses it charm and hold over you, and as you build yourself up in your mind, the subject of obsession may just turn around and notice how beautiful YOU are. This logic can be applied with anything, even an obsession with food, or anything else.

Find something in what you are obsessing about that will make you think “And I was obsessing about that, no way!”  But remember here that if you really like the person, then retain the liking and the love, and let go of the obsession part. You don’t have to get rid of someone or something in your attempt to be free of the obsession. You can continue to like and foster good feelings, but in a healthy way, and not in an obsessive way.

It also really helps to remember the people who really love you and care for your wellbeing, for example, your parents, your siblings, any children that you may have. Their happiness is vested in your happiness, and it would hurt them to see you get hurt. Think of these people and you will find the power to feel so much love for them that your obsession for the person or thing that is capturing your mind and giving you grief, will reduce.

Think of the Divine and feel love for the creation forces of this Universe. Let the Divine’s love fill you up and remove the void which is the main reason for the obsession.

_______________________

MARIA MAR

How does lack feed or create obsession and how can we avoid obsessing for the things we now lack but desire?

SUGANDHI IYER

The answer to this question can also be found above, but to add to it- lack gets the mind to keep thinking and figuring things out.

Until you get something, you will keep working at it. This is the nature of the mind. To let go of what you lack but still desire, find something that is not so great about what you desire. Also tell yourself “I understand that I don’t have what I want right now, but I may get it later on. Tomorrow is a whole new day and I am constantly getting aligned to what I want.”

Once your mind knows that it still has a chance to get what it wants, it will stop working so hard on this problem because it is no longer a problem. In the current moment of now, you may not have what you want, but the next moment is completely different.

Ask for what you want, feel good, and let it go. Defocus and work on something else that is important, you!

________________________

MARIA MAR

Is it wrong to “try to make things happen”? Isn’t a laissez faire attitude really passivity?

SUGANDHI IYER

A bit of this and a bit of that is required. Sometimes you may need to let go, and let things happen on their own. And sometimes you may have to take some action. Your energy is always balancing itself and you will know what is required.

It also depends on your basic nature. If you are too soft and too laid back, then it is time to stand your ground and make things happen. But if you are a person who is always chasing things, then learn to be laid back and let things happen.

Sometimes inaction is the best action. It all depends on a case to case basis. Be prepared to use the appropriate skill and smarts required to handle situations, and to know the best route to take in each situation.

Yes, many times for people who are go-getters, the laissez faire attitude does seem like passivity. But if you know that something is yours, then lay back and allow it to come to you. If you feel however that you need to do something, some ground work, then do that, then step back and relax.

_________________

MARIA MAR

What is the difference between letting go and letting God, aligning with Divine intent and passivity?

SUGANDHI IYER

Letting go happens when you feel that you have done all that you in the limited ability of your human mind and body can do, and doing anything else will only endanger the situation. You have more or less reached a wall, and so you ask God to take over. You let go and let God.

Aligning with Divine intent is releasing the situation so that ‘Divine will’ can happen. In letting go and letting God, you are still asking for a particular outcome, that which you in your human mind still want. In allowing or aligning with Divine intent, you are asking God to take over and do what HE/SHE wants for you.

In passivity, you are basically sitting still, not doing anything, not even letting go and asking God to do the job for you, nor asking that ‘Divine will’ be done.

Passivity indicates almost a non-movement and many times no will for anything really. It also comes from a feeling of failure and not even having enough interest in the subject matter for anything to happen. This non-interest may have come about because of seeing too much failure in that matter, or because of a genuine lack of interest.

_______________________

MARIA MAR

Why is it that the mind runs off into a non-stop thought process, trying to plan and control every little detail of what we want?

SUGHANDI IYER

It’s the mind’s job to do that. It is the physical aspect of the subtle soul energy.

The core of the soul energy is beyond all physical influence. The core of the soul does not care about anything as it is beyond everything.

But the mind is that part of the soul energy that deals with earth life. It is vested with the job of protecting and taking care of the physical acts of living. It also includes the intelligence which thinks and analyzes (you can think of the intellect as being part of, or separate, from the mind depending on how you want to view it).

So basically the only way to still the mind is to go into states of meditation, or to do something that brings you into the moment of now. At other times learn to ignore the mind’s voices, and retrain it to think about things that you like.

Example: A lot of artists who love music train their minds to think about lovely music and their mind plays wonderful tunes for their own entertainment. You can train your mind to play back that which entertains you. It is after all like recording material.

____________________

MARIA MAR

How can we help the mind to let go?

SUGANDHI IYER

Some of this question is answered above. The key to getting the mind to let go is to meditate, breathe deeply, and to use logic that helps the mind understand why it should let go.

For example, if you are obsessed with someone and it is telling on your life force, you can get your mind to understand that its main concern should be your health, for instance. Now the mind is very concerned with your survival and so it will start to oblige you and think about taking you to the gym, run, dance, etc. Get your mind to understand why it should do something.

________________________

MARIA MAR

What is the role of art and creativity in the process of manifestation?

SUGANDHI IYER

Such good questions! Art and being creative is what you are here for. This whole world is a work of art if you see it that way.

Creating is a work of art. As you create with love, you add the touches that add value to your creative work. For example, you want a job that pays your bills, now just like an artist add the details of that job- How will you feel as you perform your job? What kind of office would you like, what is the view that you will like to see outside your office window, how will your colleagues treat you? You are always in the process of creating and it is very artistic. This is one aspect of bringing art into your creation work.

The other aspect is how to use art to further your creations. Well, music is known to produce certain corresponding images and feelings in your mind, and this strengthens your vibrations for what you want.

You can listen to dance music and imagine you and your loved one dancing to glory. Or you can put up a picture of a cute baby and train your mind to start creating that beautiful baby in your life. I love music and use it for creating what I want. In fact, I sing and this adds so much color to my life.

Music and art can be used to uplift your mood and to bring in positive vibrations.

____________________________

MARIA MAR

What role does self-love play in helping us avoid obsession and passivity and create the life we want?

SUGANDHI IYER

If you cannot love yourself, the greatest of all works of art by the Divine, then you will want that love from someone else and it creates push and pull. Your happiness starts to depend on that other person (s) and this creates restlessness and anxiety in you.

When you love yourself, you are in total appreciation and gratitude of the life and body that the Divine has given you. As you respect yourself, the men or women in your life respect you and want you for the right reasons, and not the wrong ones.

The world respects you and they want to show you their respect and love. So love that chubby cheek, love that nose, love your teeth, your eyes, lips, and love everything that the Divine has given you.

First assumption you need to make is that- The Divine does not make mistakes. He created you with perfection in his mind. Okay so this world has certain concepts of what beauty is, but that is the overwhelming thoughts that this world has because of much propagated ideas of beauty. But if you see that each flower is beautiful and not every flower needs to look and smell like a rose (some have jasmine fragrance, etc.) then you will love yourself more and more.

Self love makes you feel contented and then from this space of contentment you can create amazing things in your life.

Just remember that if you don’t love yourself, you cannot expect others to love you. You are the first point of physical contact for your soul and then comes everything else. Your soul needs to love you first, and you need to love your soul first. Then take that love to the world and share your happiness. It will only increase for you.

________________________

MARIA MAR

Thank you, Sugandhi, for these masterful teachings that are so clear as to appear simple, yet convey profound wisdom. I am confident that your answers here today will inspire our visitors and help them to release worry, fear and obsession, awaken instead their creative powers to manifest their dreams.

If our visitors want to learn more about your services, where should they go?

SUGANDHI IYER

Visit my website at:

http://www.lifebusinesscreations.com

__________________________

About Sugandhi Iyer

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

A Master of energy and consciousness, Sugandhi Iyer has put together an amazing system to get people to realize their dreams and change their experiences. She has studied the Law of Attraction and the nature of consciousness, and found that by working with the Universe, and with skillful thinking and action, energy can move in different ways getting a person closer to, and right into the reality he or she wants.

Sugandhi has mastered the Laws of Energy and Consciousness and has the amazing gift of being able to help people change their lives and realities as rapidly as they desire it. She works with healing modalities, like Angel Therapy, Hypnosis, Reiki, Pranic Healing, Neuro Linguistic Programming, practicing meditation and breathing exercises to empower you to live joyfully and manifest your dreams.

Her purpose is to help people strengthen their connection to Source and empower them to live life joyfully and move closer to, and then right into the reality that they want to experience in this wonderful journey called life.

Visit Sugandhi for more resources in your personal life or business, at:

http://www.lifebusinesscreations.com

I invite you to leave your questions and comments for Sugandhi here. Leave your prints and let her know how this has helped you.

If you receive this in an email, click here to leave your comment.

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Raising the Prosperity Ceiling

Raising the Prosperity Ceiling

Are you bumping against your Prosperity Ceiling?

Are you bumping against your Prosperity Ceiling?

Are you held down by your Prosperity Ceiling? This is the maximum amount of money and the default prosperity exchange that you are able to receive emotionally for your work.

The Prosperity Ceiling is your hidden, unconscious expectation about prosperity. The Prosperity Ceiling was created in your emotional space during early childhood and adolescence. No matter how hard you chase your own vision of prosperity, if you do not break this invisible ceiling, you will stay within its parameters.

If you grew up in an environment where the money people earned came from exchanging dollar for hours and working for somebody else, chances are that this environment became part of your Prosperity Ceiling. It may be emotionally connected with safety, security, stability and survival.

In this case, working for yourself may evoke terror. It may feel as too risky. Perhaps you have seen that working for someone else does not go well with you. You are fiercely independent. You have a clear life purpose. You  hold your freedom in high regard. These are the qualities of an entrepreneur. Knowing this, you create your own business or work as a free-lance or consultant. Everything finally falls into place.

But the Prosperity Ceiling you inherited says that the choice you’ve made is too risky. Your learned beliefs hold that if you choose independence, you will not be stable, that your survival may be at stake and you will not make as much money. In this case, your free-choice is at war with your Prosperity Ceiling.

This hidden belief may have zipped into your conscious mind. You may hold it as a fact. In this case, you have an expectation of instability and of earning less money because of your choice. The Universe will respond, as it always does, by fulfilling your expectations.

The hidden belief, however, may have remained in your unconscious. In this case, you may consciously believe that you can acquire greater wealth doing what you want as an independent business or consultant. You are determined to create wealth through your choice. But your unconscious has different expectations. It is holding on to the Prosperity Ceiling and will not allow you to surpass it.

If you realize that your prosperity dreams are crashing against your Prosperity Ceiling, here’s the recipe to Raise the Ceiling.

STEPS TO RAISE YOUR PROSPERITY CEILING

Break the limits of your Prosperity Ceiling!

Break the limits of your Prosperity Ceiling!

Step 1: Examine and release your Inner War

Track down what goals and values are at war within you. If you are at war, you are wasting your energy running from one extreme to the other, from one value to its opposite, and you won’t move ahead.

Examples of Inner Wars:

  • prosperity vs. freedom
  • goodness vs. money
  • acceptance vs. wealth
  • power vs. love
  • security vs. independence

2. Examine and release your Inner Crusades.

Are you in a holy war against values or realities that you attach to wealth or success? You can’t have money if you hate it. You won’t have money if you think it’s bad.

Examples of Inner Crusades:

  • Capitalism is bad and all capitalists are thiefs.
  • Wealthy people are selfish people who stock money and don’t contribute to others’ life.
  • Poor people are good and honest. They are MY people.
  • BIG money enslaves you and is the enemy of your freedom.
  • BIG money means corruption.

3. Examine your emotional resonance in connection to wealth.

The Prosperity Ceiling may not be obvious. You may think that you believe that you have a right to be wealthy and happy. But your Emotional Undertow may be swimming with fear and toxic beliefs around money that you are not aware of. Many people who grew up poor HATE money. That’s right. They want it. They are hungry for it, but they HATE it. In their Emotional Undertow, money is a father that abandoned them, leaving them to their fate. Money is what the OTHERS have that they don’t. Money is their enemy.

Unless you become aware of your emotions and the vibrational frequency they create, you may not realize that your Emotional Undertow is pulling you away from the shores of your dreams of prosperity.

  1. Hold the largest bill you have available on your hands while seating comfortably.
  2. Breathe deeply and slowly for about 5 minutes, emptying your mind and simply looking at the bill.
  3. Become aware of the vibration your body is emitting. It may feel as a buzz or spiraling of energy in and around you. It may sound like a far away radio frequency.
  4. Seat quietly listening to it.
  5. Imagine that the bill multiplies. If it was a $10 bill, visualize that it is now a $100 bill.
  6. Listen to the vibrational frequency. How does it change? Is it becoming stronger and more harmonious, or more dissonant and violent?
  7. Imagine again that the bill multiples, so that the $100 bill is not $1,000.
  8. Go back to feeling the vibrational frequency.
  9. Keep raising the amount of the bill and observing how the frequency changes.
  10. Your Prosperity Ceiling creates dissonance in your vibrational frequency, as defensive emotions and deeply imbedded beliefs rear their ugly heads to repel and fight greater abundance.

Know how low or high is your Prosperity Ceiling. Use the following practices daily to increase your threshold everyday.

  • Affirmations
  • Meditation
  • Emotional Release
  • Active Receiving
  • Energy work (yoga, tai chi, pranic healing, acupuncture, etc.)

With steady work, you will be able to Raise your Prosperity Ceiling.

Does this help? Please let me know! I welcome your comments.

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

RESOURCES

For daily affirmations, tips and inspiration, visit my Daily Dream Alchemist Tips blog. Subscribe by clicking on the top right link and you will receive my Daily tips and affirmations directly into your email.

http://dreamalchemist.wordpress.com

In a hurry? Subscribe by clicking below, and you will receive my Daily tips and affirmations directly into your email.

Subscribe here with one easy click.

For Emotional Release, I recommend two excellent resources:

The Sedona Method

Learn more here:

http://www.sedona.com

The Emotional Freedom Technique

Download the free manual for EFT here:

http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp

Having troubles receiving what you want:

Book a coaching session with me:

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/coaching.htm

Shifting your World for instant manifestation

Shifting the World

Beyond the Law of Attraction spins the Law of Alignment

By Maria Mar(c)

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

When you have a deep desire for something, but feel an equally strong sense of frustration at not having it, you are at a Dimensional Fork. The shaman sees you between two dimensions that open, like two roads, in front of you. This post gives you clear instructions on how to use this magical place of the Dimensional Fork to instantly manifest what you desire. It teaches you the practice of Shifting your World. For direct guidance and in-depth knowledge, pre-order the audio and ebook Shifting the Worlds or the Female Secrets in the Law of Attraction Audio Meditation Series.

Pre-order now. No pre-payment or obligation to purchase.

Pre-order now. No pre-payment or obligation to purchase.

As you stand in the Dimensional Fork, you see that in one dimension, the one that feels more real and solid right now, you lack what you desire (otherwise you would be enjoying it, not craving for it). Let’s call this the Dimension of Lack. In the other dimension, however, it already exists. You can’t see or experience this dimension yet because there is something stopping you. Perhaps fear, disbelief or old beliefs do not allow you to experience the Dimension of your Desire. But it’s there. You know this is true because of your feelings. Your Emotional Intelligence knows that this dimension is your true belonging. It pushes you, through your desire and longing, to seek it. That is why you find yourself in the Dimensional Fork.

The feelings in the Dimensional Fork are similar to catching a glimpse of your desire just ahead, but you seem to make the wrong turn and end up in a place of lack. Or you feel as if what you seek is right at the reach of your fingertips, but it slips away. These feelings indicate that you already attracted what you wanted. It is trying to get to you, but an energy misalignment prevents it from reaching you. If this is true for you now, you must step beyond the Law of Attraction into the Law of Alignment. You must align yourself with your dream.

The ebook that accompanies the Guided Audio Meditation includes a real life story of how I used this practice to instantly manifest a simple desire. If you practice Shifting the World in simple things, you will master the technique for more ambitious desires.

PRACTICE

FIRST PHASE: EMOTIONAL CHARGE

You need to move into the Dimensional Fork. As you can tell from the story, this happens when your desire stands up to your frustration, so that you are emotionally charged by BOTH. If you are not right now at a powerful charged situation, then evoke these emotions.

STEP 1: Evoke the emotions of the Dimension of Lack.

Situate the Dimension of Lack that you have experienced in the past, up ‘till now, to your left. It is your left road. (The left hand records the past.) Extend your left hand, closed in a fist, palm down. See and visualize the old reality as a road opening to your left.

A. EVOKE the experience of lack. See how you are living now without the object of your desire. Evoke the feelings of lack, including frustration, hunger, sadness, abandonment and any other feelings. See the Dimension of Lack playing in front of you, to your left. How does it feel and look?

B. ACCEPT your feelings of lack.

C. DETACH from these feelings.

D. SPIN THE ORBIT by concentrating on the energy frequency created by this old reality. Turn your fist 90 degrees and open it slightly, so that you form an O with your fingers, the tip of the thumb slight touching the tip of the index finger. Concentrate your attention on the energy spinning in this circle in your hand, until you can hear and feel it clearly.

E. RESONATE out loud by giving this frequency sound. Try to generate a sound that is as close to the spinning energy in your hand as it feels right. Listen to this resonance.

STEP 2:  Evoke the emotions of the Dimension of Desire.

Turn your attention to your right. Curl your right hand into a fist, palm down, and extend the arm. See the future you want as a road opening right now in front of you, to your right. This is the Dimension of Desire. (The right hand records the future.)

A. EVOKE the experience of what you want. Imagine it vividly. Touch it. See it. Smell it. Feel the feelings of fullness, satisfaction, joy, lovability, belonging, buoyancy, peace, harmony, wellbeing and other feelings that arise from this experience.

B. ACCEPT these as you watch the movie run in front of you, vividly depicting the reality in your Dimension of Desire.

C. DETACH from any feeling of longing or any other feeling that comes from NOT having this.

D. SPIN THE ORBIT by concentrating on the energy frequency created by this desired reality. Turn your fist 90 degrees and open it slightly, so that you form an O with your fingers, the tip of the thumb slight touching the tip of the index finger. Concentrate your attention on the energy spinning in this circle in your hand, until you can hear and feel it clearly.

E. RESONATE out loud by giving this frequency sound. Try to generate a sound that is as close to the spinning energy in your hand as it feels right. Listen to this resonance.

PHASE TWO: STAND AT THE PLACE OF PARADOX

The Dimensional Fork is a Place of Paradox because two seemingly opposite universes or forces are happening simultaneously.

Step 1: Consider the left road

See yourself standing at the Dimensional Fork. Spend a few minutes witnessing (in detachment) the Dimension of Lack. Concentrate on the frequency spinning in your left hand. Witness what this dimension is about, what it consists of.  Witness how you feel inside it. This witnessing may yield instant revelations as to what is creating the misalignment that keeps you trapped in the Dimension of Lack. You may feel or see some emotional attachment or habits that keep you there. Don’t expect anything, however. Trust the experience as it is.

Step 2: Consider the right road

Concentrate now on your extended right arm and the frequency spinning in your right hand. Spend a few minutes witnessing the Dimension of Desire.  Concentrate on the frequency spinning on your right hand. Immerse yourself in the feelings of this dimension as it is happening right now.

Do NOT allow yourself to fall into a hunger for this reality. If it is happening, there is no need to hunger for it. 

See what the Dimension of Desire is about, what it consists of. What makes it essential or desirable for you? What feelings and emotions does it create in you?

This witnessing may yield instant revelations as to what is creating the misalignment that does not allow the Dimension of Desire to get to you. You may see that there are certain fears or doubts holding you back. Sometimes we fear what we want as badly as we fear what we don’t want.  Simply witness whatever comes up. Don’t expect anything, however. Trust the experience as it is.

PHASE THREE: FREE CHOICE

Now that you stand in the Dimensional Fork, in a Place of Paradox, you can grasp all the dimensions of your present reality. Now you are the master, not the slave. You can choose freely.

Step 1: Leave the left road

Inhale deeply. As you open your left fist, exhale and release the Dimension of Lack. Withdraw all your emotions and attentions from it. Release all doubt and hunger. If you saw any attachment or habits, release them in exhalation. Turn your entire body to your right. Don’t look back.

Step 2: Take the right road

Inhale deeply. As you open the right fist, embrace the Dimension of Desire. Give all your attention and emotions to this reality. Release all doubt and fear and enjoy living in that dimension.

Concentrate on the frequency spinning on your right hand until you can feel it spinning up your arm and all around you. Knit the fingers of both hand together across your solar plexus, and enjoy the vibration of the Dimension of Desire. Immerse yourself in that vibrational frequency. Enjoy the feelings, vision and frequency in this dimension.

Feed this frequency with an Inner Smile. Allow this smile to emerge from deep within your heart up to your lips and shine through your eyes.

Feed this new frequency with feelings of gratitude, acceptance, trust and receptivity. Open your heart to the new allies and opportunities that will be magnetize by the resonance of this new frequency.

For a more detailed description, including how to sustain the new frequencey and use this as a ceremony, with the guided audio meditation, pre-order the upcoming product. No pre-payment or obligation.

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

I love when you take one minute to comment on the posts. It lets me know that someone is benefiting from the tools I share.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

The Real Tragedy of Drama Queens

The real tragedy of Drama Queens

By Maria Mar(c)

When you are trapped in your habitual Soap Opera Dramas, you are self-involved to the point that you miss sight of three vital things: your surroundings, other people and your goals. Here is the real tragedy of the Drama Queen.

1. She wastes precious emotional fuel going around in circles.

2. She wastes time and resources going around in circles.

3. She alienates allies, healthy peers and healthy partners with her self-involved, ineffective and habitual dysfunctional scripts.

4. She leaks prosperity, loses clients and wastes money.

5. She adopts the pose of an ineffective, disorganized and unprofessional woman.

6. She fails to see how she is creating stress in those around her.

7. She misrepresents her business or capacity and creates situations where she will not be promoted or hired.

8. She dumps her toxic drama on her loved ones and creates terrible stress on her family, especially her partner and children.

9. She repels her children and partner, who need to move away from her in order to grow and function healthily.

10. She uses her drama to manipulate others, as an ineffective attempt to control the situation and to beg for attention.

11. She uses her power to sabotage her dream as she runs hysterically on the same spot, until she digs her own grave.

12. Because she creates high levels of stress that lead to hypertension, heart attack, muscle spasms, anxiety attacks, stomach trouble, ulcers, brain tumors, cancer, strokes and more. Make your choice.

Would you rather be a Drama Queen or act as the genuine, powerful Queen of your own life and Dream?

SOLUTION:

If you choose to be the real queen, here is one quick, easy way to stop your Drama before it catches momentum.

The minute you see yourself spinning into your Drama, say out loud to yourself: “STOP!”

Then breathe deeply and slowly. As you exhale, say firmly and clearly, without drama: “There is no drama. I am clear and there is no problem.”

As soon as you regain your center, become aware of how you have lost your compass.

  1. See how you are affecting those around you,
  2. See how you have deviated from your goal, and
  3. See how you are creating chaos or anxiety in your situation.

Now proceed to calmly re-focus on your goal or the solution of the problem, sustaining a centered, calming mood and consciously spreading it around.

EXAMPLE:
Let’s say that your usual drama is losing the car keys before going out.You enter a frenzy and send everyone spinning for the keys, just to find them 20 minutes later where you have left them misplaced the night before.

The minute you see yourself spinning that drama, say “STOP” to yourself, energetically and firmly (without involving others in the drama).

Then breathe deeply and slowly. As you exhale, say to yourself: “There is no drama. I am clear and there is no problem.”

Observe how you have lost your compass: Perhaps your family is already tense at the prospect of yet another crazy moment before going out and the anticipation of being late to their appointments. Perhaps by getting into this anxiety rollercoaster, you are neglecting to check that you have what you need for today’s presentation, so that you will sabotage yourself getting there late and unprepared. Perhaps you are creating chaos and stress in your daily life by all these little dramas. RELEASE that choice and embrace Inner Peace.

Now proceed to calmly retrace your steps the last time you place your keys when you got home.

I hope this helps you!

Stop by and leave your comments as things begin to change and you occupy the throne of your true queendom!

Maria Mar(c) You can use this quote as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express at http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com!