Bless Away your Holiday Stress


Bless Away the Holiday Stress

By Maria Mar (c)2009


The tree is up. The lights are on. The music plays. The Holidays are here, full of bright colors, smiles and good spirits. So why do you feel so blah? You go along and do the deeds, but your heart is not in it.


Or perhaps you are feeling quiet the opposite, like a renegade train running so fast that it is missing the Holiday station! Could it be that you are speeding past the Holiday Spirit? Read on and find out what may be causing your Holiday Stress and how to bless it away.

There are four main sources of Holiday Blues or Stress:

Broken Heart, Broken Back, Broken Bag or Broken compass. Let’s take a quick look at each:


Broken Heart

You have experienced an emotional loss. You got divorced or you are remembering a loved one that died recently or during the Christmas season. Basically, you are grieving.


Broken Back

You are the victim of too many pressures, exhaustion or emotional stress. You are rushing around so much that you can’t catch your breath long enough to smell the scent of the Holidays.


Broken Bag

You are jobless, suffered financial cuts or in some other way are experiencing a financial crisis that makes it hard or impossible to shop, give, entertain or celebrate the Holidays as you’ve done
before.


Broken Compass

Something is askew. You can’t find your joy. You feel depleted, empty. You know you should be happy, but you can’t celebrate. You feel that you have lost your Personal Compass. If any of this is true for you or for someone dear to you, then there is one powerful way in which you can release the burden that is keeping you from celebrating the Holidays. This path is not easy, but it is powerful enough to
turn drab blue into bright red and bring the Holidays alive again. It is the path of Self-love.

Self-love is many things to many people, it is different in each situation, and it can be a tall order to tackle. But here we are going to focus on four simple self-love approaches, one for each of the problems above. Each approach has one thing in common: a blessing.

Choose the option you need:

The Wounded Sacred Heart

The sacred medicine of the grieving heart is called the Sacred Wounded Heart. This is often represented by the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Wounded Healer or the Broken Heart of the Spiritual Warrior. The spiritual principle in your broken heart reminds you that new birth pushes through old obstacles, like a green shoot breaking ground. The act that allows this transformation to take place is to feel your pain from a place of courageous surrendering.

Here’s how to do this.

  1. Embrace your grief during a clearly delimited time
    each day.
    Observe when the sadness most often overcomes you and give yourself permission to cry at that time.

  2. Cry or lament fully and completely, surrendering
    to your pain.
    Do not hold back. Wale or howl if you need to.

  3. Give yourself ample time, an hour perhaps.
    More if you need it. It will eventually decrease and you can adjust the time for your needs.

  4. When the time for crying is over each day, shift
    to your Spiritual Warrior.
    Take a hold of your faith. Seating in the consciousness of your immortality, release the belief that you have lost this person.

  5. Then recite this blessing below. (You may write it down and place it on a prominent place.)

  6. Live up to this blessing for the rest of the day until the next time to grieve.

  7. Do not push yourself to be happy in the way we usually define it. Rather, live from the love emanating from your soul, love for yourself and all of creation.

  8. Create an altar or corner where you can each day
    honor the departed
    in whatever ways feel appropriate. Recognize that s/he also has an immortal soul and is still present in your life, but without the flesh dress, as a being of pure light.

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Heart, and open my being to the Sacred Tree of Love and Wisdom growing in this wound. Now I water it with these tears. But each day I also shine on it the sun of my gratitude, love and hope. I allow the Sacred Tree of Love and Wisdom growing within me to emerge from this wound, transforming my life. I seat on the Throne of my Immortal Soul, that suffers no loss, for it is one with everything.”


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Warrior Mother Tree, art by Maria Mar(c)2009. Click to buy the ScreenArt Saver.
The Dance of Stillness

The reason we push ourselves to do so many things, the reason why our to-do list seems to grow and we never feel we are doing enough, is because we confuse our doing with our being. If we are not still
long enough; if we are not quiet long enough to connect to our soul and our
Core Self; then we begin to live as human doings, instead of human beings.

The Medicine for this is the Dance of Stillness. There is a place within you in which you can inhabit the stillness between each movement, the silence between each sound. This place is called The Dance of Stillness.


This dance begins in what I call Sky Mind. You get there by releasing your logical, small, Ego Mind. This is the mind that holds the to-do list and identifies with what you do.


The Dance of Stillness is a way of living that requires years of discipline. But you can start right now and feel the benefits immediately. You will have to re-adjust yourself during the day, as
you forget. But each time you go back to the Dance of Stillness, you
are training your mind to be Sky Mind and yourself to live from that
peaceful place.


Here is a quick start-up that involves five daily actions:

  1. Begin each day with 5 minutes of deep breathing
    and stilling the mind. Concentrate on the inhalation traveling to your belly and then the rest of your body and in the exhalation being as slow as possible.

  2. Make a commitment to shorten your activity list by
    half
    , and to do things in order of priority and ease of flow. Every
    time you finish doing one thing, bless yourself and all people
    involved, receive its goodness in your heart and then release
    any further worry, thought or time investment on this item.

  3. Go straight to the source of love. If you have
    a physical or emotional “broken back” –meaning that you are sick, depressed, injured, physically challenged or overwhelmed, release the to-do list completely. Meditate on how you can flow your love easily, effortlessly, and to whom you want to direct it, and then focus on that, disregarding the cosmetic details that we so often confuse with love.

  4. Take a nap after lunch or when you get home.
    Take a 15 minute nap in the middle of the day. Lay down. You don’t have to fall asleep. Simply close your eyes, let go of worry and breathe deeply, surrendering your burden, your stress and even the task of keeping your body upright to Earth Mother.

  5. Every night, release the obsession with controlling everything, and hand it over to God. Ask Divine Will to carry your burden for you. Say this blessing:

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Back, and allow my body and my
soul to heal naturally and quickly while I release my illusions of control. I shed the cosmetic details that my Ego Mind confuses with love. I go directly to the source of love, showering myself in Divine Love. I spread my love easily and effortlessly, as the Sky spreads its light. I bless myself and all my loved ones in the light of love.



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The Alchemist Touch



Enjoy a storytelling blog post to shift prosperity perception.
This recession is to our national being as a crisis is to our personal being.
A crisis is that moment when a door that had been hidden, its iron hinges rusting, its paint blending with the frame, until we
saw no door, only a wall –suddenly opens.

That creaking, trembling door opening looks like the wall is crumbling down or there’s an earthquake. But it’s really a new path
opening to us.


The earth-shaking change may seem to be an external circumstance that is happening TO you, something life is doing to you, without your consent. But it is something that happens deeply and firstly in your psyche.


When the hinges begin to move against the rust and the door pulls back from the frame, it is hurts. This recession may have left you penniless, jobless or in a very tight –even scary– financial situation.

The question is not “how much I can afford to spend?”


The question is “What are the values that de-rust the hinges of this door and where does it lead?”

As long as you keep trying to spend as you’ve done before or as you think you have to, you will feel deprived and disempowered. You will see the crisis as a thief, not a door. You are placing your attention on the lack. You are insisting on keeping things as they were.


But crisis is a demand and a bridge to change. The Universe is not asking you to change. It is demanding you to. If you trust that the Universe is your ally, that it is your Cosmic Self, then this demand is a bridge to a new, better life.

What to do? Become an Alchemist. Use this alchemical formula.

  1. Release this stress by recognizing the gold in
    this leaden situation.
    What seems like a financial crisis may be a golden opportunity to reclaim the true spirit of Christmas. Make this holiday a time of adventure, deep love and genuine giving, re-focusing from the material to the emotional and spiritual.

  2. Search for ways to return Christmas values into
    your life
    , instead of focusing on spending.

  3. Find out more about volunteering to help others in
    Volunteering for Christmas. (This link goes to my Holiday
    2009 Newsletter edition, where I offer links to resources.)

  4. Give Experiential Gifts. This practice allows
    you to give of yourself with little or no spending while creating
    unforgettable moments with your loved ones. Read about
    Experiential Gifts.

  5. Recite the Alchemical Blessing below every morning
    and evening
    for the duration of the Holidays, and

  6. Have a blast of a Holiday!

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Bag, and track down the hole
that has bled my life force, love and values and that has manifested in this lack. I allow my Soul to lead me back to the source of love and abundance. I allow my Higher Self to guide me to the changes necessary to expand my consciousness and enter the new reality. I
unhinge the locked, rusty door of my old limits and walk into a better life. Though I do not see the silver lining yet, I am grateful and joyful for this golden opportunity.”



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Holy Days Retreat


Awaken the Rose audio and self-love meditation returns you to center and awakens the flow of your love. Click here to read more.
If the Holiday Spirit eludes you, no matter how hard you try, then your Soul is crying for time out.


There are essential things in your life that you need to recalibrate and you can not pretend. Christmas is not a time for
pretending happiness, but for experiencing genuine joy.


Joy is often bubbly, exciting and expansive. But sometimes joy is not about merrymaking, but about entering deep silence and listening to your soul. This insight, or inward looking, can unlock the dam that is stifling your emotions. This, in turn, restores your Personal Compass. As your soul feels listened and loved, and can once again guide you towards your True Infinite Self and your life’s purpose, it
returns to genuine joy, one that is not dependent on festivities and
external trimmings.


You need a Holy Days Retreat. Here’s what to do:

  1. Find or prepare a peaceful, quiet, uninterrupted
    place for your Holy Days Retreat
    . It can be a place in nature, a
    spiritual institution or a room in your own home. You can even open a tent in a corner of the house and ask everyone not to interrupt you while you are there.

  2. Prepare yourself to enter this retreat for a
    specific time.
    If you can, make it at least three days. If you can’t, then assign a specific number of hours each day to that retreat. You can do a sleep-in retreat in your tent. Call upon your Native American Spiritual Guides to teach you how to use this tent as a Ceremonial Tepee.

  3. Choose carefully a few basic Holiday activities
    and release the others. This is not Christmas or New Year as usual. This is a life-changing transition. Acknowledge this and give yourself permission to experience it. Receive the gift that this Holy Days are bringing and trust that it will expand your consciousness and enrich your life.

  4. Create a ceremony or Inward Journey to hear and
    follow your Personal Compass.
    For an excellent guide, see the
    Roadmap Home: Your GPS to Inner Peace.
    (When you click on this link you will go to the Resource section in my Holiday 2009 Newsletter.)

  5. Recite the Holy Day Compass Blessing below every morning and night during the Holidays.

BLESSING

“I bless my Broken Compass, and I still my mind
and body in order to listen to my Soul’s soft voice and wise guidance. I let go of control, rush and busyness. I return to the state of Grace and Receptivity that brings the voice of my Soul to the foreground of my consciousness. I welcome the guidance of my Circle of Light and my Higher Self and receive the blessings of this special Holy Days, bringing me back home to my True Self.”



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Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. Find out more at Catch
the Dream Express.
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The Angel of Trust Speaks

This is the Angel of Trust speaking. Here is its message:

The Angel of Trust speaks

The Angel of Trust speaks

Trust your vision. It is God’s masterpiece painted inside your eyes.

Trust your desire. It is God’s song ringing in your heart.

Trust your passion. It is God’s dance whirling in your belly.

Trust your courage. It is God’s strength dashing through your blood.

Trust your Faith. It is God’s certainty rising from your bones.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this post in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Prosperity or Poverty: Choose your Mirror

Prosperity or Poverty:

Choose your Mirror


By Maria Mar©2009

A visual storytelling journey

to dispel the thieves of your prosperity.


The meeting got complicated. It would take much of the day. We broke for lunch and I hurried to the bathroom. There I met a fascinating woman. As our lunch hour coincided, we had lunch together in the building’s ground-level cafeteria.

art by Maria Mar(c)2009. No reproduction, copy/paste allowed.

I felt that a strong, peaceful connection had brought us together and was very curious as to the purpose of this encounter. We began to talk with ease.

I was pleasantly surprised when I realized that Lillianne* was a spiritual catalyst whose inspired writings I had read once when I somehow clicked on a link to her blog.

I recalled that she was a wise woman with an extraordinary capacity for deep reflection into the mysteries of existence. In her beautiful writings, I had appreciated her thorough understanding of the Law of Attraction. I especially admired her awareness of how we create our own universe with our thoughts, emotions and choices.

Lillianne and I talked passionately for a while about these topics, which we both loved. But even through the lightness of this lovely conversation, I could feel that a heavy silence weighed on her. Finally, Lillianne could not contain her anguish any longer. She burst out into tears.


The Empty Hands

“I am so scared!” she stuttered between sobs. “I have reached the bottom. I don’t understand how this is happening to me. Ten years ago, I began my own business. You may not believe it looking at me now, but I have earned thousands of dollars in a week. I have charged clients in an hour more than what I am making daily in this job.”

Lillianne was trying hard not to burst into tears again in the crowded cafeteria. We left the noisy place and took refuge in a small lobby, where a sofa nested inside a niche was conveniently hidden by a group of tall palms and other potted plants.

We sat, wrapped in heavy silence, now broken only by some quiet sobs. Lillianne stared at her empty hands.

I remembered a time in which I also stared at my empty hands. I had lost everything I had in a bizarre housing disaster. I had to leave all my art and tools, my clothing and most of my possessions behind. I had no idea where I would go. As I recovered my health in a friend’s guest room, I had stared at my hands, empty after so many years of giving the best of my creativity.

In the deeply carved lines, I had read my past. I faced the war I waged against money. I recognized how I spent it as soon as I got it, as if it burned my hands. I realized that I had not created financial structures, strategies or goals in my life. It was a brutal encounter with realities that I had disregarded for most of my adult life. This disregard had lead to that moment, in which I had no emergency money or financial alternatives to recover from this crisis.

“Is this a lesson I must learn? Am I being cleansed of ego?” Lillianne asked abruptly. Her voice reminded me of a little girl who has been punished and is trying to understand what she did wrong. But there was someone else in that voice: the punisher herself, flagellating Lillianne in each of her questions.


Only for Love

“I was so broke that I had to place a PayPal button in my blog. Imagine? I had to ask my subscribers for donations!” Lillianne said, as if that was the ultimate perversion.

Lillianne was thankful that her 10,000 subscribers had sent her so many blessings and kind words and had given her generous donations, which kept her afloat for about a month. But her monthly obligations had to be met, and she had finally caved in. Her eyes were wide with terror.

“I admit that my relationship with money has not been good. There’s a lot of guilt attached to it. I played the starving artist for most of my youth. And now, it appears that I am playing the starving guru,” she whispered with a faint smile.

Lillianne exhaled a pain-ridden sight that traveled through my bones. I tried to piece together the two opposite images I was receiving from the same woman.

Lillianne had shared that her subscribers were very active and often responded to her articles. During our conversation in the cafeteria, she had told me, with badly concealed pride, that her subscribers had suggested that she charge a subscription fee for the blog. When she refused, some suggested that she
offer an upgraded service, with more support and inspiration, for a monthly fee. Lillianne had refused to do that, too.

“I am not doing this blog to get money,” Lillianne had said, almost angry. “This is for love. To inspire.”

I had assumed then that she had devised other means of earning money. After all, she had coached corporations and organizations and had impressive recommendations about her work.

Now, however, I realized that this Rich-Wise-Woman had not created a strategy to earn money. Instead, she had fed her “Poor-but-Good” Shadow Self.


The War Against Money

As I handed Lillianne some tissues, I asked her how she had planned to earn money from the time she invested in her blog.

“No, not from the blog,” she insisted. “I don’t want to charge for that.”

“I got that,” I replied as gently as I could.

I did not want Lillianne to think that I was blaming or judging her. Quiet the contrary. I strongly empathized with her. I had similar Personal Medicines to Lillianne. It followed that I had been given similar emotional wounds in which to hide ―and find― these Medicines.

“But you have a business, don’t you?” I softly asked. “What monetization strategies do you have for your business?”

“I sell products,” Lillianne said defensively. As I had a laptop, she asked me to open it and soon she was showing me her products.

“I have two books, two CDs and several other products,” Lillianne showed me with a trickle of enthusiasm. I could see that she had put a lot of love in these products. I could also see that she sold them piece-meal, without a sense of a system or philosophy that integrated them and added the value of her unique offering.

“But the sales trickle in and do not even cover the business expenses,” Lillianne concluded, as she clicked out of her “Store” tab and into her “About Lillianne” tab.

In her biography, Lillianne had gone into a lengthy monologue about life. I liked her style to a point, because I could hear her voice. But I had no idea of what she could do for me, what her services where, what system of philosophy, if any she had, and what her unique offer was to me. She had wrapped herself in her beautiful, creative words, but remained a lonely island separated from her products and from her capacity to satisfy the growing needs of her readers.

Little by little, I got a picture of Lillianne’s business. Her blog was a plain template with not as much as a header. There was no branding there. I could not get a sense of who she was or the uniqueness of her gifts. Having felt her warmth and caring love, it seemed a pity that these qualities were not reflected in her blog.

She had no social media presence or links and no adsense or google ads. She had no affiliate program, so she could not earn income through joint venture partnerships and affiliate sales, either.

Why had Lillianne refused her clients’ request? Why hadn’t she created a paid monthly support, even though they had expressed their need for this?

It wasn’t that hard to create protected blog pages for paying subscribers, and she could still delivered the free access pages she was writing now.

Her clients were ready and eager to participate in deeper conversation, to receive her guidance. Instead, Lillianne had continued her long-lasting conversation with the world in her blog, refusing to monetize her writings.


Not for Sale

A light bulb turned on. I understood too well Lillianne’s resistance. I had been given a devastating message as a teenager, when my mom stopped giving me lunch money so that I would not stay in college for rehearsals. That was her way of trying to stop me from pursuing my acting career. This had also been the beginning of my eating disorders, as I had stayed for rehearsals, forsaking lunch and dinners for days on a row, until I was severely undernourished.

The price for self-loyalty, I had learned, was poverty. That had been the beginning of a war between creativity and prosperity. This war went on for decades during my adult life. I knew from experience how insidious this polarity could be.

In the ten years of healing my issues with money, I had tracked down how deeply and invisibly one can sabotage one’s prosperity in the most absurd ways without even realizing it. It came as no surprise to me, then, that Lillianne had not charged for her creative, spiritual writings.

I could now touch the heart of the matter. I found Lillianne’s tiny orphan-self, hiding behind her wise words. She was a little girl seeking belonging, giving endlessly of her vast gifts in an effort to be loved.

Lillianne was not valuing her wisdom as a service that she gave to others for their benefit. She had written some words in her blog that said this. But she was not living it. She did not believe it.

Perhaps when she went to a corporation and did a workshop she saw herself as giving a service. But not from her Essence, not from her writings ―from her

creativity. In her eyes, to use her words as a service and charge for it would have been to betray her soul.

Lillianne’s underground orphanhood and her war with money were sabotaging her life’s purpose.


The Cloak of Ghosts

Lillianne had not released the Cloak of Ghosts. Many of us inherit this heavy mantle of learned beliefs and toxic emotions from our elders. It is passed to us by our family of origin and culture. Lillianne’s Cloak of Ghosts was filled with guilt, shame and anger against money and attachment to poverty, which she saw as proof of goodness.

  • Love vs. power

  • Spirituality vs. money

  • Creativity vs. service

  • Creativity vs. prosperity

  • Honesty vs. authority

These were only a few of the battles in Lillianne’s Inner War.

Lillianne got up and threw the crumbled tissues into a nearby garbage can. I felt that her hopes were as crumbled as the tissues and my heart felt heavy for her. She swept some crumbs off her overall uniform and picked up her dirty maintenance globes.

As we returned to the fifth floor, she waived a sad goodbye and returned to the toilets left to clean.


The Two Mirrors

As Lillianne moved away, I saw a woman in war with herself. This woman had looked into two different mirrors and had secretly chosen the familiar one, though it in no way reflected her Essence.

Art by Maria Mar (c)2009. No reproduction, copy/paste allowed.

The Poverty Mirror

In the mirror she had secretly chosen, Lillianne was an abandoned, unloved orphan trapped in poverty.

Guided by guilt and fear, she had erected an unforgiving God-parent who stripped her of “ego” (her own desires, her power to manifest, her true value?) by punishing her with a poverty that in no way reflected her inner richness.

The true punishment was however, self-inflicted. Lillianne refused to charge for the services she came here to give. Instead, she had chosen to beg for them.

Art by Maria Mar(c)2009. No reproduction, copy/paste permitted.

In the mirror that reflected her Essence, Lillianne was a Wise Woman, a radiant being full of wisdom-treasures.

She had the rare courage to dive deep into her Soul and to bring from those depths unfathomable riches searched and needed by millions.

Her hands were filled with plenty. Her life could but reflect her inner riches and her generosity of spirit.

For now, the orphan had won this battle. But by now I knew Lillianne. I knew that she would push against the bottom and rise in full majesty.


Hands filled to the rim

I looked at my hands then and remembered that day in my friend’s guest room, when I stared at my empty hands.

In those deeply carved lines, I had read my present. I had seen the extraordinary value of the wisdom that had been handed me. I had traced the grace of my words and my art. I had weighted the substance of my gifts.

My hands were not empty. They were filled to the rim with valuable wisdom, tools andinspiration. They had been  bestowed to me with the charge to pass them on.

That day I had created my business, firmly founded on my writings, my art and my spiritual wisdom.

As the bathroom door swallowed Lillianne, I sent her a blessing.

May you look at your emptyhands and see the treasures overflowing.

May you value each word of wisdom that flows from your lips and hands as a sacred treasure with the power to transform the world.

May you receive the river of affluence that flows right now from the Universe to you. May you allow it to shower you in prosperity.

May you open your heart to receive the riches you already have.

I hold this blessing in my heart, for myself.

I send it to each of you in these challenging times, with the invitation to choose the mirror that reflects your richness and release the fear that drags you into a place of fear and lack.

Light and love, Maria Mar
The Dream Alchemist

PS: If you feel that you need help with your Shadow Selves, self-sabotage or manifesting your dream, please check my coaching services at: http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/coaching.htm

_________________________________________


* The name and circumstances have been changed to protect this person’s privacy.


Photos courtesy of Morguefile.com


Art copyright of Maria Mar(c)2009. No reproduction or copy/paste permitted.


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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this story in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

Obsession or manifestation?

Obsession or manifestation?

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

In this interview, artist-shaman Maria Mar, the Dream Alchemist,  interviews a Master of manifestation and spiritual teacher and healer, Sugandhi Iyer, to help you discover the difference between obsessing for what you want, and focusing on your goals with pure intent.


MARIA MAR

Sugandhi, you have stated that “Manifestation starts when obsession ends.” How does obsession block the flow of the Law of Attraction?

SUGANDHI IYER

Obsession indicates a state where the mind is captured by a subject matter to such a degree that it may exclude all else and cause discomfort.

The mind is like recording material and is also a processing tool. When it finds something fascinating, it keeps on chewing about it. When you obsess about something or someone, most times you are drawing attention away from the thing or person(s) that you should be spending your time on, and most times that something or person is ‘you’.

For example, some people develop a romantic obsession, and in extreme cases they forget to eat, sleep and take care of their own selves. This obsession is unhealthy because the time and energy could be spent developing yourself and other life areas. Every life area needs attention.

Many times such obsession may also block out the subject of the obsession itself, because the mind is spending time trying to hopelessly figure out how to get the subject of the obsession, and this gives out resultant vibrations of fear and lack, attracting more of the same back.

________________________

MARIA MAR

What is the difference between obsession, pure intent and single-pointed focus?

SUGANDHI IYER

Obsession is the compulsive preoccupation with an idea or something, and this preoccupation creates anxiety. Normally, obsession is accompanied by tones of impossibility.

Pure intent is when you have an intention to do or be something and you know that it is possible.

For example, you intend to treat yourself to a nice evening out this weekend. If you know you can be invited or take yourself out and do it, then it is a pure intent free of feelings of difficulty. You have an idea, and you carry it out. It is simple in your books and well within your ability to create or do. It actually makes you feel good just thinking about it, or anticipating it, knowing full well that it is possible.

Single pointed focus is your ability to give complete attention to something.

This is where you consciously decide to focus on something. This normally does not give rise to anxiety because it is within your control to defocus if you so choose.

For example, you may decide to go to the gym and work on your abs five days a week. You are focused and give this task your single pointed attention. Now if you decide you don’t want to do this, you can take your attention and focus off and turn it to something else. Like I said, this is within your control.

Obsession on the other hand, is normally not in your control and is dictated more by habits and patterns that have become set in your mind. You are not the master of your focus on the subject matter, but rather your subject matter captures your focus to an extent where your conscious mind no longer has much of a say. You don’t happily decide to do something here but are governed more by a fatal attraction.

________________________

MARIA MAR

What are the most important steps a woman can take to free herself from obsession?

SUGANDHI IYER

If you need to temporarily develop resistance towards the subject matter of the obsession, then do it.

For example, if you like a man who you think is tall, dark and handsome, and you feel like you are overly obsessing about this man, find something in him that is “not so great”. Maybe he talks with a funny accent, or chews his food too loudly. Start to laugh thinking about it and allow your mind to become free. You can now actually enjoy this man, more as a normal man, and not the ‘icon’ that you think he is.

Meanwhile, build up your own self-worth. Empower yourself, and bring your focus back to you. Work out, read, sing, discover hidden talents, build on these talents, feel delighted with yourself and how you cook, walk, talk, smile and even clean your house! Focus on your job, volunteer and do some service, and realize how amazingly beautiful you are. Then find something in you, or in a hobby, or in your job, that is even more attractive to you, or at least attractive enough that it is able to capture your mind first for a few minutes, and then more and more.

As the subject of your obsession loses it charm and hold over you, and as you build yourself up in your mind, the subject of obsession may just turn around and notice how beautiful YOU are. This logic can be applied with anything, even an obsession with food, or anything else.

Find something in what you are obsessing about that will make you think “And I was obsessing about that, no way!”  But remember here that if you really like the person, then retain the liking and the love, and let go of the obsession part. You don’t have to get rid of someone or something in your attempt to be free of the obsession. You can continue to like and foster good feelings, but in a healthy way, and not in an obsessive way.

It also really helps to remember the people who really love you and care for your wellbeing, for example, your parents, your siblings, any children that you may have. Their happiness is vested in your happiness, and it would hurt them to see you get hurt. Think of these people and you will find the power to feel so much love for them that your obsession for the person or thing that is capturing your mind and giving you grief, will reduce.

Think of the Divine and feel love for the creation forces of this Universe. Let the Divine’s love fill you up and remove the void which is the main reason for the obsession.

_______________________

MARIA MAR

How does lack feed or create obsession and how can we avoid obsessing for the things we now lack but desire?

SUGANDHI IYER

The answer to this question can also be found above, but to add to it- lack gets the mind to keep thinking and figuring things out.

Until you get something, you will keep working at it. This is the nature of the mind. To let go of what you lack but still desire, find something that is not so great about what you desire. Also tell yourself “I understand that I don’t have what I want right now, but I may get it later on. Tomorrow is a whole new day and I am constantly getting aligned to what I want.”

Once your mind knows that it still has a chance to get what it wants, it will stop working so hard on this problem because it is no longer a problem. In the current moment of now, you may not have what you want, but the next moment is completely different.

Ask for what you want, feel good, and let it go. Defocus and work on something else that is important, you!

________________________

MARIA MAR

Is it wrong to “try to make things happen”? Isn’t a laissez faire attitude really passivity?

SUGANDHI IYER

A bit of this and a bit of that is required. Sometimes you may need to let go, and let things happen on their own. And sometimes you may have to take some action. Your energy is always balancing itself and you will know what is required.

It also depends on your basic nature. If you are too soft and too laid back, then it is time to stand your ground and make things happen. But if you are a person who is always chasing things, then learn to be laid back and let things happen.

Sometimes inaction is the best action. It all depends on a case to case basis. Be prepared to use the appropriate skill and smarts required to handle situations, and to know the best route to take in each situation.

Yes, many times for people who are go-getters, the laissez faire attitude does seem like passivity. But if you know that something is yours, then lay back and allow it to come to you. If you feel however that you need to do something, some ground work, then do that, then step back and relax.

_________________

MARIA MAR

What is the difference between letting go and letting God, aligning with Divine intent and passivity?

SUGANDHI IYER

Letting go happens when you feel that you have done all that you in the limited ability of your human mind and body can do, and doing anything else will only endanger the situation. You have more or less reached a wall, and so you ask God to take over. You let go and let God.

Aligning with Divine intent is releasing the situation so that ‘Divine will’ can happen. In letting go and letting God, you are still asking for a particular outcome, that which you in your human mind still want. In allowing or aligning with Divine intent, you are asking God to take over and do what HE/SHE wants for you.

In passivity, you are basically sitting still, not doing anything, not even letting go and asking God to do the job for you, nor asking that ‘Divine will’ be done.

Passivity indicates almost a non-movement and many times no will for anything really. It also comes from a feeling of failure and not even having enough interest in the subject matter for anything to happen. This non-interest may have come about because of seeing too much failure in that matter, or because of a genuine lack of interest.

_______________________

MARIA MAR

Why is it that the mind runs off into a non-stop thought process, trying to plan and control every little detail of what we want?

SUGHANDI IYER

It’s the mind’s job to do that. It is the physical aspect of the subtle soul energy.

The core of the soul energy is beyond all physical influence. The core of the soul does not care about anything as it is beyond everything.

But the mind is that part of the soul energy that deals with earth life. It is vested with the job of protecting and taking care of the physical acts of living. It also includes the intelligence which thinks and analyzes (you can think of the intellect as being part of, or separate, from the mind depending on how you want to view it).

So basically the only way to still the mind is to go into states of meditation, or to do something that brings you into the moment of now. At other times learn to ignore the mind’s voices, and retrain it to think about things that you like.

Example: A lot of artists who love music train their minds to think about lovely music and their mind plays wonderful tunes for their own entertainment. You can train your mind to play back that which entertains you. It is after all like recording material.

____________________

MARIA MAR

How can we help the mind to let go?

SUGANDHI IYER

Some of this question is answered above. The key to getting the mind to let go is to meditate, breathe deeply, and to use logic that helps the mind understand why it should let go.

For example, if you are obsessed with someone and it is telling on your life force, you can get your mind to understand that its main concern should be your health, for instance. Now the mind is very concerned with your survival and so it will start to oblige you and think about taking you to the gym, run, dance, etc. Get your mind to understand why it should do something.

________________________

MARIA MAR

What is the role of art and creativity in the process of manifestation?

SUGANDHI IYER

Such good questions! Art and being creative is what you are here for. This whole world is a work of art if you see it that way.

Creating is a work of art. As you create with love, you add the touches that add value to your creative work. For example, you want a job that pays your bills, now just like an artist add the details of that job- How will you feel as you perform your job? What kind of office would you like, what is the view that you will like to see outside your office window, how will your colleagues treat you? You are always in the process of creating and it is very artistic. This is one aspect of bringing art into your creation work.

The other aspect is how to use art to further your creations. Well, music is known to produce certain corresponding images and feelings in your mind, and this strengthens your vibrations for what you want.

You can listen to dance music and imagine you and your loved one dancing to glory. Or you can put up a picture of a cute baby and train your mind to start creating that beautiful baby in your life. I love music and use it for creating what I want. In fact, I sing and this adds so much color to my life.

Music and art can be used to uplift your mood and to bring in positive vibrations.

____________________________

MARIA MAR

What role does self-love play in helping us avoid obsession and passivity and create the life we want?

SUGANDHI IYER

If you cannot love yourself, the greatest of all works of art by the Divine, then you will want that love from someone else and it creates push and pull. Your happiness starts to depend on that other person (s) and this creates restlessness and anxiety in you.

When you love yourself, you are in total appreciation and gratitude of the life and body that the Divine has given you. As you respect yourself, the men or women in your life respect you and want you for the right reasons, and not the wrong ones.

The world respects you and they want to show you their respect and love. So love that chubby cheek, love that nose, love your teeth, your eyes, lips, and love everything that the Divine has given you.

First assumption you need to make is that- The Divine does not make mistakes. He created you with perfection in his mind. Okay so this world has certain concepts of what beauty is, but that is the overwhelming thoughts that this world has because of much propagated ideas of beauty. But if you see that each flower is beautiful and not every flower needs to look and smell like a rose (some have jasmine fragrance, etc.) then you will love yourself more and more.

Self love makes you feel contented and then from this space of contentment you can create amazing things in your life.

Just remember that if you don’t love yourself, you cannot expect others to love you. You are the first point of physical contact for your soul and then comes everything else. Your soul needs to love you first, and you need to love your soul first. Then take that love to the world and share your happiness. It will only increase for you.

________________________

MARIA MAR

Thank you, Sugandhi, for these masterful teachings that are so clear as to appear simple, yet convey profound wisdom. I am confident that your answers here today will inspire our visitors and help them to release worry, fear and obsession, awaken instead their creative powers to manifest their dreams.

If our visitors want to learn more about your services, where should they go?

SUGANDHI IYER

Visit my website at:

http://www.lifebusinesscreations.com

__________________________

About Sugandhi Iyer

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

A Master of energy and consciousness, Sugandhi Iyer has put together an amazing system to get people to realize their dreams and change their experiences. She has studied the Law of Attraction and the nature of consciousness, and found that by working with the Universe, and with skillful thinking and action, energy can move in different ways getting a person closer to, and right into the reality he or she wants.

Sugandhi has mastered the Laws of Energy and Consciousness and has the amazing gift of being able to help people change their lives and realities as rapidly as they desire it. She works with healing modalities, like Angel Therapy, Hypnosis, Reiki, Pranic Healing, Neuro Linguistic Programming, practicing meditation and breathing exercises to empower you to live joyfully and manifest your dreams.

Her purpose is to help people strengthen their connection to Source and empower them to live life joyfully and move closer to, and then right into the reality that they want to experience in this wonderful journey called life.

Visit Sugandhi for more resources in your personal life or business, at:

http://www.lifebusinesscreations.com

I invite you to leave your questions and comments for Sugandhi here. Leave your prints and let her know how this has helped you.

If you receive this in an email, click here to leave your comment.

__________

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For permission to use this interview in your blog, please contact Maria Ma.


Are you swimming an emotional marathon?

Are you swimming an emotional marathon?

By Maria Mar©

I posted this tip in my Dream Alchemist Daily Tips blog:

Mermaid Power, art by Maria Mar(c)

Mermaid Power, art by Maria Mar(c)

Do you feel exhausted after doing something emotionally challenging, like walking through fear or breaking a habit? The action might have been simple, like making a phone call. You may be thinking that it’s silly to be so tired. Be especially loving with yourself at this time. Rest and reward yourself. Swimming against the Emotional Undertow of old learned emotions uses more energy than swimming in a marathon.

I also posted it in my Facebook Update. Here are some of the answers I’ve gotten so far:

“Thank you so much. I feel like you read my mind, it is very difficult to say no to people who have been using me for years, just the fear of saying no has been very difficult and exhausting, but after the storm I feel much better and respect myself much more.”

“YES. This is so what I needed to read today. It’s hard to move on sometimes, past the bad habits.”

This brings up a couple of questions about emotional breakthrough, and that’s what I want to explore in this post.

  • What is the Emotional Undertow?
  • Why do we experience paralyzing fear or resistance to do certain things that we know rationally are good for us and which we don’t have any skill-impairment to do?(like saying no, making a phone call, selling something or talking about what we do, for example.)
  • Why are bad habits seem like impenetrable barriers?
  • What can I do to diminish the anxiety and fear and take action from a place of peace?

Here are some answers to these questions.

Emotional Undertow

I use the term Emotional Undertow to describe the cumulative emotional charge connected to learned beliefs or habits. An example will help.

Mary has been hiding backstage while others get the credit. She’s done this all her life. Now, at 35, she realizes that this has sabotaged her success, prosperity and self-esteem. Mary has created a new line of products that she is promoting and needs to make herself visible in order to sell them. While Mary has previously helped many people sell and she has all the necessary skills, every time she picks up the phone or sends an email to make herself and her brand visible, she goes through high levels of anxiety, days of procrastination, sweaty hands and mental confusion. What is going on?

Mary learned very early on in her childhood that she could not be visible. If she was visible…(fill in the blanks.) The learned belief may be that

  • she would not be loved,
  • she was bad or
  • something terrible would happen as punishment for her arrogance.

This belief was most often communicated emotionally, without direct words or warning, but with great intensity.

The child learned this emotionally, nor rationally. She felt this belief as a life or death warning. “If I am visible, if I shine, then, something terrible will happen. I will not be loved. I am a bad person and God will punish me.”

The emotions inherited with the learned belief were:

  • Terror of being alone and not being loved if she became visible or took credit for her gifts and work.
  • Extreme shame and feelings of being evil, of being an opportunist of being arrogant if she name her worth or expressed her gifts.
  • Exaggerated feelings of dread and life-threatening fear that something terrible will happen the minute she steps out of her Invisibility Cloak.

The depth, weight and pull of your Emotional Undertow

These learned emotions are so threatening and forbidding to a child, that they create an emotional barrier.

For 35 years, Mary has fed these learned emotions. Every time that Mary wanted to shine, to express herself in public, to take credit for what she created, these same emotions reared their ugly head.

But Mary, not having the awareness of what was behind her fear or lacking the emotional skills to deal with them, repressed them.

At 35, Mary has 35 emotional tons of this threatening, shaming emotions accumulated. That’s her Emotional Undertow.

Emotions are flowing energies that run through our Energy Body, stirring up memories, signaling nerve responses, evoking images, generating physical states and turning on mental pathways. They are very powerful. More powerful than thoughts, because they carry charge that can ignite certain thoughts associated to them, so that your rational thoughts don’s stand a chance.

The good news is that these energies are constantly changing. That’s why they are archetypically associated with water. They can change form, color, temperature, density and electrical charge. They can be transformed. That is why you need to feel them, follow them to their source and then release the parts that are toxic. Imagine that you are combing them. Take out guilt, shame, learned fear, interpretations, etc. What is left is the pure power of emotions to propel you. What is left is your passion.

What you can do

When we take action against these learned limits of behavior or learned beliefs, these Emotional Undertow stirs up and pulls us back from the shore of our goals. We then need to use all we got to release that pull and move forward. Here are several things that help:

  • Feel what you feel. Give yourself time, space and permission to experience your emotion fully. Do not judge yourself. Do not badger yourself. Do not confuse yourself with your emotions. Seat with it, hold it. Feel it. Love yourself with it, through it and beyond it.
  • Do not identify with the emotions. Part of the problem is that as a child, you identify yourself with these overpowering emotions that ran through you. Now you can detach. Before allowing this Emotional Undertow to flow through you and experience these powerful emotions, seat breathing deeply for a few minutes, and feel your Core Self. This is your Soul-self. It holds your inner strength and wisdom. See it as an ancient tree that stands still in the midst of activity. Stand in the infinite power of your Soul and detach from the emotions as you feel them. This means that you allow yourself to feel them, but you don’t drown in them because you can observe them without confusing yourself with these old, learned emotions.
  • Self-parent yourself. One of the reasons this makes no sense to the adult you is because it is NOT the adult you who is carrying the Emotional Undertow. It is one or more of your Inner Children. Talk to them. Hold them in your arms. Listen to them and help them to FEEL loved, protected and ALLOWED to engage in the new behavior. This is a process, not a one shot deal.
  • You need to go within, recognize, clarify and release the learned beliefs and emotions in your unconscious. If you can’t find the hidden beliefs or emotions, or if they create undue anxiety, you can support your clearance process by:
  • Therapy
  • Working with a coach, spiritual teacher, shaman or minister
  • Meditation and reflection
  • Help from your spiritual guides
  • Reflection in nature, where the Sacred World will show you guidance
  • Journal writing
  • Shamanic Psychic Hunting.
  • Take action. Your emotions are learned signals from the past. Every time you take action, they subside a bit more. Eventually, the present results will override the past domestication and the emotions will go.
  • Get help and support. Whether a therapist, coach, support group or online community, you need the support of positive people to nourish the emotions that will build your Emotional Streams of Affluence, the positive emotional build up that carries you to your desired destiny.
  • Use a daily visualization practice or rituals that helps you transform the Emotional Undertow into Emotional Streams of Affluence. Try Shifting the World, a practice I teach in this blog.

Does this help? Let me know!

If you have any other question, feel free to ask it here, and I will gladly answer.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

RESOURCES

If you would like personal coaching, shamanic counseling or help in tracking down the source of your emotions, consider my coaching services at:

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/coaching.htm

For help on releasing, visit the Sonoma Method at:

http://www.sedona.com

For help transmuting emotions, releasing toxic beliefs and breaking through resistance in a gentle way, learn EFT. Get the free manual that explains the Emotional Freedom Technique here:

http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp

Shifting your World for instant manifestation

Shifting the World

Beyond the Law of Attraction spins the Law of Alignment

By Maria Mar(c)

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

When you have a deep desire for something, but feel an equally strong sense of frustration at not having it, you are at a Dimensional Fork. The shaman sees you between two dimensions that open, like two roads, in front of you. This post gives you clear instructions on how to use this magical place of the Dimensional Fork to instantly manifest what you desire. It teaches you the practice of Shifting your World. For direct guidance and in-depth knowledge, pre-order the audio and ebook Shifting the Worlds or the Female Secrets in the Law of Attraction Audio Meditation Series.

Pre-order now. No pre-payment or obligation to purchase.

Pre-order now. No pre-payment or obligation to purchase.

As you stand in the Dimensional Fork, you see that in one dimension, the one that feels more real and solid right now, you lack what you desire (otherwise you would be enjoying it, not craving for it). Let’s call this the Dimension of Lack. In the other dimension, however, it already exists. You can’t see or experience this dimension yet because there is something stopping you. Perhaps fear, disbelief or old beliefs do not allow you to experience the Dimension of your Desire. But it’s there. You know this is true because of your feelings. Your Emotional Intelligence knows that this dimension is your true belonging. It pushes you, through your desire and longing, to seek it. That is why you find yourself in the Dimensional Fork.

The feelings in the Dimensional Fork are similar to catching a glimpse of your desire just ahead, but you seem to make the wrong turn and end up in a place of lack. Or you feel as if what you seek is right at the reach of your fingertips, but it slips away. These feelings indicate that you already attracted what you wanted. It is trying to get to you, but an energy misalignment prevents it from reaching you. If this is true for you now, you must step beyond the Law of Attraction into the Law of Alignment. You must align yourself with your dream.

The ebook that accompanies the Guided Audio Meditation includes a real life story of how I used this practice to instantly manifest a simple desire. If you practice Shifting the World in simple things, you will master the technique for more ambitious desires.

PRACTICE

FIRST PHASE: EMOTIONAL CHARGE

You need to move into the Dimensional Fork. As you can tell from the story, this happens when your desire stands up to your frustration, so that you are emotionally charged by BOTH. If you are not right now at a powerful charged situation, then evoke these emotions.

STEP 1: Evoke the emotions of the Dimension of Lack.

Situate the Dimension of Lack that you have experienced in the past, up ‘till now, to your left. It is your left road. (The left hand records the past.) Extend your left hand, closed in a fist, palm down. See and visualize the old reality as a road opening to your left.

A. EVOKE the experience of lack. See how you are living now without the object of your desire. Evoke the feelings of lack, including frustration, hunger, sadness, abandonment and any other feelings. See the Dimension of Lack playing in front of you, to your left. How does it feel and look?

B. ACCEPT your feelings of lack.

C. DETACH from these feelings.

D. SPIN THE ORBIT by concentrating on the energy frequency created by this old reality. Turn your fist 90 degrees and open it slightly, so that you form an O with your fingers, the tip of the thumb slight touching the tip of the index finger. Concentrate your attention on the energy spinning in this circle in your hand, until you can hear and feel it clearly.

E. RESONATE out loud by giving this frequency sound. Try to generate a sound that is as close to the spinning energy in your hand as it feels right. Listen to this resonance.

STEP 2:  Evoke the emotions of the Dimension of Desire.

Turn your attention to your right. Curl your right hand into a fist, palm down, and extend the arm. See the future you want as a road opening right now in front of you, to your right. This is the Dimension of Desire. (The right hand records the future.)

A. EVOKE the experience of what you want. Imagine it vividly. Touch it. See it. Smell it. Feel the feelings of fullness, satisfaction, joy, lovability, belonging, buoyancy, peace, harmony, wellbeing and other feelings that arise from this experience.

B. ACCEPT these as you watch the movie run in front of you, vividly depicting the reality in your Dimension of Desire.

C. DETACH from any feeling of longing or any other feeling that comes from NOT having this.

D. SPIN THE ORBIT by concentrating on the energy frequency created by this desired reality. Turn your fist 90 degrees and open it slightly, so that you form an O with your fingers, the tip of the thumb slight touching the tip of the index finger. Concentrate your attention on the energy spinning in this circle in your hand, until you can hear and feel it clearly.

E. RESONATE out loud by giving this frequency sound. Try to generate a sound that is as close to the spinning energy in your hand as it feels right. Listen to this resonance.

PHASE TWO: STAND AT THE PLACE OF PARADOX

The Dimensional Fork is a Place of Paradox because two seemingly opposite universes or forces are happening simultaneously.

Step 1: Consider the left road

See yourself standing at the Dimensional Fork. Spend a few minutes witnessing (in detachment) the Dimension of Lack. Concentrate on the frequency spinning in your left hand. Witness what this dimension is about, what it consists of.  Witness how you feel inside it. This witnessing may yield instant revelations as to what is creating the misalignment that keeps you trapped in the Dimension of Lack. You may feel or see some emotional attachment or habits that keep you there. Don’t expect anything, however. Trust the experience as it is.

Step 2: Consider the right road

Concentrate now on your extended right arm and the frequency spinning in your right hand. Spend a few minutes witnessing the Dimension of Desire.  Concentrate on the frequency spinning on your right hand. Immerse yourself in the feelings of this dimension as it is happening right now.

Do NOT allow yourself to fall into a hunger for this reality. If it is happening, there is no need to hunger for it. 

See what the Dimension of Desire is about, what it consists of. What makes it essential or desirable for you? What feelings and emotions does it create in you?

This witnessing may yield instant revelations as to what is creating the misalignment that does not allow the Dimension of Desire to get to you. You may see that there are certain fears or doubts holding you back. Sometimes we fear what we want as badly as we fear what we don’t want.  Simply witness whatever comes up. Don’t expect anything, however. Trust the experience as it is.

PHASE THREE: FREE CHOICE

Now that you stand in the Dimensional Fork, in a Place of Paradox, you can grasp all the dimensions of your present reality. Now you are the master, not the slave. You can choose freely.

Step 1: Leave the left road

Inhale deeply. As you open your left fist, exhale and release the Dimension of Lack. Withdraw all your emotions and attentions from it. Release all doubt and hunger. If you saw any attachment or habits, release them in exhalation. Turn your entire body to your right. Don’t look back.

Step 2: Take the right road

Inhale deeply. As you open the right fist, embrace the Dimension of Desire. Give all your attention and emotions to this reality. Release all doubt and fear and enjoy living in that dimension.

Concentrate on the frequency spinning on your right hand until you can feel it spinning up your arm and all around you. Knit the fingers of both hand together across your solar plexus, and enjoy the vibration of the Dimension of Desire. Immerse yourself in that vibrational frequency. Enjoy the feelings, vision and frequency in this dimension.

Feed this frequency with an Inner Smile. Allow this smile to emerge from deep within your heart up to your lips and shine through your eyes.

Feed this new frequency with feelings of gratitude, acceptance, trust and receptivity. Open your heart to the new allies and opportunities that will be magnetize by the resonance of this new frequency.

For a more detailed description, including how to sustain the new frequencey and use this as a ceremony, with the guided audio meditation, pre-order the upcoming product. No pre-payment or obligation.

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

I love when you take one minute to comment on the posts. It lets me know that someone is benefiting from the tools I share.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

The Real Tragedy of Drama Queens

The real tragedy of Drama Queens

By Maria Mar(c)

When you are trapped in your habitual Soap Opera Dramas, you are self-involved to the point that you miss sight of three vital things: your surroundings, other people and your goals. Here is the real tragedy of the Drama Queen.

1. She wastes precious emotional fuel going around in circles.

2. She wastes time and resources going around in circles.

3. She alienates allies, healthy peers and healthy partners with her self-involved, ineffective and habitual dysfunctional scripts.

4. She leaks prosperity, loses clients and wastes money.

5. She adopts the pose of an ineffective, disorganized and unprofessional woman.

6. She fails to see how she is creating stress in those around her.

7. She misrepresents her business or capacity and creates situations where she will not be promoted or hired.

8. She dumps her toxic drama on her loved ones and creates terrible stress on her family, especially her partner and children.

9. She repels her children and partner, who need to move away from her in order to grow and function healthily.

10. She uses her drama to manipulate others, as an ineffective attempt to control the situation and to beg for attention.

11. She uses her power to sabotage her dream as she runs hysterically on the same spot, until she digs her own grave.

12. Because she creates high levels of stress that lead to hypertension, heart attack, muscle spasms, anxiety attacks, stomach trouble, ulcers, brain tumors, cancer, strokes and more. Make your choice.

Would you rather be a Drama Queen or act as the genuine, powerful Queen of your own life and Dream?

SOLUTION:

If you choose to be the real queen, here is one quick, easy way to stop your Drama before it catches momentum.

The minute you see yourself spinning into your Drama, say out loud to yourself: “STOP!”

Then breathe deeply and slowly. As you exhale, say firmly and clearly, without drama: “There is no drama. I am clear and there is no problem.”

As soon as you regain your center, become aware of how you have lost your compass.

  1. See how you are affecting those around you,
  2. See how you have deviated from your goal, and
  3. See how you are creating chaos or anxiety in your situation.

Now proceed to calmly re-focus on your goal or the solution of the problem, sustaining a centered, calming mood and consciously spreading it around.

EXAMPLE:
Let’s say that your usual drama is losing the car keys before going out.You enter a frenzy and send everyone spinning for the keys, just to find them 20 minutes later where you have left them misplaced the night before.

The minute you see yourself spinning that drama, say “STOP” to yourself, energetically and firmly (without involving others in the drama).

Then breathe deeply and slowly. As you exhale, say to yourself: “There is no drama. I am clear and there is no problem.”

Observe how you have lost your compass: Perhaps your family is already tense at the prospect of yet another crazy moment before going out and the anticipation of being late to their appointments. Perhaps by getting into this anxiety rollercoaster, you are neglecting to check that you have what you need for today’s presentation, so that you will sabotage yourself getting there late and unprepared. Perhaps you are creating chaos and stress in your daily life by all these little dramas. RELEASE that choice and embrace Inner Peace.

Now proceed to calmly retrace your steps the last time you place your keys when you got home.

I hope this helps you!

Stop by and leave your comments as things begin to change and you occupy the throne of your true queendom!

Maria Mar(c) You can use this quote as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express at http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com!