Talk Crazy

Talk Crazy

Are you addicted to meaningless talk?

We have gone a bit Talk Crazy these days. Well, do be honest, it’s not just a bit. We have a full fledged new addiction: GadgetTalk. I simply call it the Talk Crazy addiction. It  has reached epidemic proportions. If you don’t believe me, look at people as you walk down the streets. Look around in the bus or waiting rooms. At least 5 out of 10 people are talking as they walk, drive or wait. At least this is the New York Experience.

This blog helps you to take a quick informal self-assessment test to find out if you are Talk Crazy, while giving you something to think about when you consider how you communicate.

Mind you, if you realize that you are Talk Crazy, this doesn’t mean that you are crazy! This is just an informal assessment and the term a humorous way at looking at our communication age.

If you score high in the Talk Crazy scale, it may mean however, that you need to find a more meaningful and balanced way to communicate, relate to others and above all, communicate with yourself.

The Self-assessment questions below help you to:

  • Find out if you are Talk Crazy
  • To what degree are you addicted to GadgetTalk or meaningless talk
  • Discover what aspects of communication you are neglecting
  • Discover how you can enrich your communication experience.

There are four types of points for the score.

  • T points
  • F points
  • I points
  • M points

They will be explained at the end.

SEGMENT A: Communication tools

How many of these you have?

  1. Cell phone or
  2. Email account (1)
  3. Social network- one
  4. Email account (more than 1)
  5. Voip Services (Like Skype)
  6. Blackberry
  7. Chat service
  8. Social network- up to 3
  9. Other document sharing, photo or video sharing services
  10. Social network- more than 3
  11. I access my social networks through my cellphone/blackberry
  12. Online community, memberships, clubs, etc.

SCORE:

  • One T-point for each checked from items 1-5.
  • Three T-points for each checked from items 6-8
  • Five T-points for each checked from items 9-12

Communication Tools

There is no good or bad when it comes to how many communication tools you use or possess. Only you know what your personal and professional needs are. If you are in business or in communications, marketing, security or public relations fields, you may need a high level of communication gadgets. High or low scores here are only the basis for further assessment.

There is however, one question you may ask yourself.

Do I really need all these gadgets?

Having a lot of gadgets and services does not necessarily enrich the quality of your life or of your communications. The next segments will help you assess if this is true. If it is, then they will also let you know what areas you are neglecting now and what you can do to enhance the quality of your communications, relationships and of your lifestyle.

SEGMENT B: Frequency

How much do you use each of these gadgets and services in any given day? Choose only ONE option, the one that is the closest to your experience.

  1. I use some of these once or twice a week, but not every day.
  2. I use my cell phone/blackberry less than 5 times a day and the rest of the gadgets about once or twice a week.
  3. I use my phone/blackberry around 10 times a day and at least two of the rest of the gadgets or services  once a day.
  4. I use my phone/blackberry around 20 times a day and at least three of the rest of the gadgets or services a minimum of three times a day.
  5. I am on one of these at least every hour.
  6. At any given time in any given day, I am using one or more of these gadgets and services to communicate.

SCORE:

  • One F-point for item 1
  • Two F-points for item 2
  • Three F-points of item 3
  • Four F-points for item 4
  • Five F-points for item 5
  • Six F-points for item 6

Frequency

Once again, there is no judgment about the frequency to which you use your communication gadgets, because only you know what you need personally and professionally. If you are in security or if you are a doctor, you may not be able to turn off your cell phone, for example.

On the other hand, you may be using your gadgets as tools of avoidance. The question you may want to ask is this:

Am I using my time, attention and energy effectively to enrich my life and attain my goals through my communications?

If your communication frequency is distracting you from using your time, attention and energy in ways that manifest your dreams, deepen your relationships and enhance your finances and your quality of life, then it is addictive or at least needs to be balanced.

Yes, but…. Are you communicating?

You have the tools and you use them more or less frequently, but are you communicating?

Here’s the catch. Communicating has two meanings. Here’s what the Encyclopedia of Public Health says about communication.

“Communication is the production and exchange of information and meaning by use of signs and symbols.”

This presents us with a challenge.  There are TWO different aspects of communication: information and meaning.

Let’s do another level of self-assessment to distinguish how you are using each of these aspects.

SEGMENT C: Information and Meaning

In a scale of 0-10, 0 being never and 10 always, how much do you communicate about any of the items below while communicating with any of the gadgets above? (Give yourself a score of 0-10 for each item.)

  1. What I am doing.
  2. What I did.
  3. What I plan to do.
  4. What just happened around me.
  5. News.
  6. Information about logistics: where, who, what, when, etc.
  7. Information about problems that need to be solved.
  8. What happened to someone else or what someone else did or say.
  9. About something I am hearing or reading (music, book, etc.)
  10. Venting reactive feelings, like anger, frustration, etc.
  11. Communicating my opinion on what is happening.
  12. How I am feeling about myself and my life.
  13. How I perceive the situations going on.
  14. The meaning that I perceive in this situation and how it affects my life.
  15. About the dreams, desires, goals and challenges that I am facing and how I feel about them.
  16. Sharing the beauty or blessings that I see around me or that I experience internally.
  17. Reflecting on the meaning or consequences of things that are happening in the world.
  18. Listening to the other person attentively, to be there for them.

SCORE:

  • One I-point for each item for scores of 1-4 in items 1-10
  • Three I-points for each item for scores of 6-10 for items 1-10
  • One M-point for each item for scores of 1-4 for items 11-18
  • Three M-points for each item for scores of 5-10 for items 11-18

Information to meaning ratio

If you are like most people, you scored high on items 1-10 and very low if at all in items 11 to 15. What this means is that you are using only the first definition of communication. You are exchanging information. But you are rarely sharing meaning.

This is, in part due to the nature of the new gadgets. They are used on the run, in public or in an unsecured medium.

But it has more to do with our own addictive society.

In this society we are not taught self-intimacy. We are not guided in the knowledge of how to process emotions. We are rarely given support or time to reflect on our lives. This creates an addictive society in which people are constantly doing, talking, focusing outwards and keeping busy as a means of avoiding their personal truth.

Now we have the perfect tools to exploit our Talk Crazy addictions. We can talk 24 hours a day every day. We can even talk while we sleep, thanks to scheduled emails and messages!

We can escape from ourselves by talking to others.

That is my definition of being Talk Crazy.

Are you Talk Crazy?

Here’s one last set of questions to get your score:

SEGMENT D: The Experience of Meaning

During each day, I take time to do any of the following:

  1. Meditate
  2. Commune with nature
  3. Just being
  4. Silence
  5. Reflect on my dreams and goals
  6. Receive and give thanks for my blessings
  7. Do some body awareness practice or discipline, like Yoga, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, Pranic Healing, etc. (Movement for body awareness and connection to the inner body, not to lose weight or stay fit.)
  8. Time to eat in peace and quiet.
  9. Creative time to paint, draw, listen to music, sing, dance, etc.
  10. Time to talk with a friend about our feelings and to share our deepest experiences or reflections.
  11. Write in a journal about life, my experience and my spirituality.
  12. Read to enhance my perception and understanding of experience.
  13. Seek or share inspiration.
  14. Write a poem or story to communicate what I’ve experienced.
  15. Send an email, letter or other communication sharing these experiences to my friends or list.

SCORE:

Three M-points for any item you select in this list.

The Experience of Meaning

It may sound strange to you that I talk about the experience of meaning. Isn’t meaning something you think about? That belief is at the core of our social addiction and the way it creeps out in our communication.

We are dissociated from the physical, sensual, soulful and spiritual experience of the meaning of our life. In this isolation, there is a sense of orphanhood, meaninglessness and vacuum that we then try to feel with activity, external actions and focus and by thinking and talking. We use talking as a mask that hides this existential black hole.

The cure for this Talk Crazy addiction as well as to all the other control addictions that mask our emptiness is precisely the experience of meaning. When we experience the meaning of our life, we heal. This experience requires the integration of:

  • Our body, our inner experience of our body (vs manipulating our body from the outside to fit into some mental ideal)
  • Our soul, our Unique Essence and its wisdom, its knowledge of our life purpose
  • Our emotional truth, felt authentically instead of used for drama, blaming, acting out or repressing our personal truth
  • Our spiritual and energy being as experienced in the vibration of our energy body and our higher wisdom.

This integration happens organically as we practice Conscious Living. The last segment of this self-assessment gives you the experiences of conscious living you need to begin healing your addiction or bring your Talk Crazy obsession into balance.

Let’s find out what your score is and what that means about your communication experience.

Add up all your points and gather them on this way:

SEGMENT A: Total of T-points

This is your score for Communication Tools. If it is high, then this means that you use a lot of communication tools. This is neither good nor bad, depending on the rest of the score. After all, you may NEED these tools. That’s why they exist, because they help us!

SEGMENT B: Total of F-points

This is your score for Frequency of use. If it is high, again, this only means that you use your communication tools very frequently. You may need to, so that by itself doesn’t make you TalkCrazy. You could consider if you really need to use them as much as you do. But the important factors are the Information to Meaning ratio and the Meaning Experience score below. These let you know if you are using your gadgets to engage in your addiction or if you are using them to convey your message to the world and facilitate a better life for yourself and your family.

SEGMENT C: Get your I/M ratio. This is your Information/Meaning ratio. To get this, add your I-points (information) and your M-points (meaning). Now divide your I-points by your M-points. That’s your I/M ratio.

For example:

30 I-points/10 M-points=30/10 ratio. This means that you may be communicating 3X more information than meaningful communication.

10 I-points/ 20 M points= 10/2o. This means that you may be communicating twice as much meaningful communication as you share information.

Depending on your purpose and expertise field, you may want to keep or to recalibrate this ratio. If you are in the business of facts and you got an disproportionately high Information ratio, you are doing fine. If, however, you are in business and you are using your gadgets and services to communicate and sale, you may be missing the point altogether. How are you making your prospects feel through the mood, emotions and knowledge that you consistently communicate? Are you addressing their dreams, needs and experiences? Addressing these issues will bring your meaning score up. If you communicate for personal purposes and you got a high information ratio, you may be in the habit of talking about facts and news to cover the void left by your lack of self-intimacy or of intimacy in your relations. Use segments C and D to improve this.

Total of M-points

Add your M points from Segment C and D. The results is your Meaning Index. This index conveys not only how meaningful your communication may be, but how you convey and experience meaning in your life.

Maximum score=69

If you score between 69 and 45, you may be communicating and experiencing meaning in a rich manner, including feelings, reflections, knowledge and experience.

If you score between 44 and 30, you are probably sharing enough meaning for your particular field or goal, though you may want to examine any area in which you can improve.

If you score between 29 and 20, you need to examine how to communicate more meaning, not just facts, in order to enrich your communication. Unless, of course, you are in the business of just facts.

If you score less than 20, examine carefully how you are living and communicating. Unless your job is to convey just facts, you may be engaging in GadgetTalk addiction as a means to escape your personal truth, avoid intimacy or as a learned limitation. Use Segments C and D as a guide to enrich both, your communication and the experience of meaning in your life.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com

http://www.dreamalchemist.com

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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Obsession or manifestation?

Obsession or manifestation?

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

In this interview, artist-shaman Maria Mar, the Dream Alchemist,  interviews a Master of manifestation and spiritual teacher and healer, Sugandhi Iyer, to help you discover the difference between obsessing for what you want, and focusing on your goals with pure intent.


MARIA MAR

Sugandhi, you have stated that “Manifestation starts when obsession ends.” How does obsession block the flow of the Law of Attraction?

SUGANDHI IYER

Obsession indicates a state where the mind is captured by a subject matter to such a degree that it may exclude all else and cause discomfort.

The mind is like recording material and is also a processing tool. When it finds something fascinating, it keeps on chewing about it. When you obsess about something or someone, most times you are drawing attention away from the thing or person(s) that you should be spending your time on, and most times that something or person is ‘you’.

For example, some people develop a romantic obsession, and in extreme cases they forget to eat, sleep and take care of their own selves. This obsession is unhealthy because the time and energy could be spent developing yourself and other life areas. Every life area needs attention.

Many times such obsession may also block out the subject of the obsession itself, because the mind is spending time trying to hopelessly figure out how to get the subject of the obsession, and this gives out resultant vibrations of fear and lack, attracting more of the same back.

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MARIA MAR

What is the difference between obsession, pure intent and single-pointed focus?

SUGANDHI IYER

Obsession is the compulsive preoccupation with an idea or something, and this preoccupation creates anxiety. Normally, obsession is accompanied by tones of impossibility.

Pure intent is when you have an intention to do or be something and you know that it is possible.

For example, you intend to treat yourself to a nice evening out this weekend. If you know you can be invited or take yourself out and do it, then it is a pure intent free of feelings of difficulty. You have an idea, and you carry it out. It is simple in your books and well within your ability to create or do. It actually makes you feel good just thinking about it, or anticipating it, knowing full well that it is possible.

Single pointed focus is your ability to give complete attention to something.

This is where you consciously decide to focus on something. This normally does not give rise to anxiety because it is within your control to defocus if you so choose.

For example, you may decide to go to the gym and work on your abs five days a week. You are focused and give this task your single pointed attention. Now if you decide you don’t want to do this, you can take your attention and focus off and turn it to something else. Like I said, this is within your control.

Obsession on the other hand, is normally not in your control and is dictated more by habits and patterns that have become set in your mind. You are not the master of your focus on the subject matter, but rather your subject matter captures your focus to an extent where your conscious mind no longer has much of a say. You don’t happily decide to do something here but are governed more by a fatal attraction.

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MARIA MAR

What are the most important steps a woman can take to free herself from obsession?

SUGANDHI IYER

If you need to temporarily develop resistance towards the subject matter of the obsession, then do it.

For example, if you like a man who you think is tall, dark and handsome, and you feel like you are overly obsessing about this man, find something in him that is “not so great”. Maybe he talks with a funny accent, or chews his food too loudly. Start to laugh thinking about it and allow your mind to become free. You can now actually enjoy this man, more as a normal man, and not the ‘icon’ that you think he is.

Meanwhile, build up your own self-worth. Empower yourself, and bring your focus back to you. Work out, read, sing, discover hidden talents, build on these talents, feel delighted with yourself and how you cook, walk, talk, smile and even clean your house! Focus on your job, volunteer and do some service, and realize how amazingly beautiful you are. Then find something in you, or in a hobby, or in your job, that is even more attractive to you, or at least attractive enough that it is able to capture your mind first for a few minutes, and then more and more.

As the subject of your obsession loses it charm and hold over you, and as you build yourself up in your mind, the subject of obsession may just turn around and notice how beautiful YOU are. This logic can be applied with anything, even an obsession with food, or anything else.

Find something in what you are obsessing about that will make you think “And I was obsessing about that, no way!”  But remember here that if you really like the person, then retain the liking and the love, and let go of the obsession part. You don’t have to get rid of someone or something in your attempt to be free of the obsession. You can continue to like and foster good feelings, but in a healthy way, and not in an obsessive way.

It also really helps to remember the people who really love you and care for your wellbeing, for example, your parents, your siblings, any children that you may have. Their happiness is vested in your happiness, and it would hurt them to see you get hurt. Think of these people and you will find the power to feel so much love for them that your obsession for the person or thing that is capturing your mind and giving you grief, will reduce.

Think of the Divine and feel love for the creation forces of this Universe. Let the Divine’s love fill you up and remove the void which is the main reason for the obsession.

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MARIA MAR

How does lack feed or create obsession and how can we avoid obsessing for the things we now lack but desire?

SUGANDHI IYER

The answer to this question can also be found above, but to add to it- lack gets the mind to keep thinking and figuring things out.

Until you get something, you will keep working at it. This is the nature of the mind. To let go of what you lack but still desire, find something that is not so great about what you desire. Also tell yourself “I understand that I don’t have what I want right now, but I may get it later on. Tomorrow is a whole new day and I am constantly getting aligned to what I want.”

Once your mind knows that it still has a chance to get what it wants, it will stop working so hard on this problem because it is no longer a problem. In the current moment of now, you may not have what you want, but the next moment is completely different.

Ask for what you want, feel good, and let it go. Defocus and work on something else that is important, you!

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MARIA MAR

Is it wrong to “try to make things happen”? Isn’t a laissez faire attitude really passivity?

SUGANDHI IYER

A bit of this and a bit of that is required. Sometimes you may need to let go, and let things happen on their own. And sometimes you may have to take some action. Your energy is always balancing itself and you will know what is required.

It also depends on your basic nature. If you are too soft and too laid back, then it is time to stand your ground and make things happen. But if you are a person who is always chasing things, then learn to be laid back and let things happen.

Sometimes inaction is the best action. It all depends on a case to case basis. Be prepared to use the appropriate skill and smarts required to handle situations, and to know the best route to take in each situation.

Yes, many times for people who are go-getters, the laissez faire attitude does seem like passivity. But if you know that something is yours, then lay back and allow it to come to you. If you feel however that you need to do something, some ground work, then do that, then step back and relax.

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MARIA MAR

What is the difference between letting go and letting God, aligning with Divine intent and passivity?

SUGANDHI IYER

Letting go happens when you feel that you have done all that you in the limited ability of your human mind and body can do, and doing anything else will only endanger the situation. You have more or less reached a wall, and so you ask God to take over. You let go and let God.

Aligning with Divine intent is releasing the situation so that ‘Divine will’ can happen. In letting go and letting God, you are still asking for a particular outcome, that which you in your human mind still want. In allowing or aligning with Divine intent, you are asking God to take over and do what HE/SHE wants for you.

In passivity, you are basically sitting still, not doing anything, not even letting go and asking God to do the job for you, nor asking that ‘Divine will’ be done.

Passivity indicates almost a non-movement and many times no will for anything really. It also comes from a feeling of failure and not even having enough interest in the subject matter for anything to happen. This non-interest may have come about because of seeing too much failure in that matter, or because of a genuine lack of interest.

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MARIA MAR

Why is it that the mind runs off into a non-stop thought process, trying to plan and control every little detail of what we want?

SUGHANDI IYER

It’s the mind’s job to do that. It is the physical aspect of the subtle soul energy.

The core of the soul energy is beyond all physical influence. The core of the soul does not care about anything as it is beyond everything.

But the mind is that part of the soul energy that deals with earth life. It is vested with the job of protecting and taking care of the physical acts of living. It also includes the intelligence which thinks and analyzes (you can think of the intellect as being part of, or separate, from the mind depending on how you want to view it).

So basically the only way to still the mind is to go into states of meditation, or to do something that brings you into the moment of now. At other times learn to ignore the mind’s voices, and retrain it to think about things that you like.

Example: A lot of artists who love music train their minds to think about lovely music and their mind plays wonderful tunes for their own entertainment. You can train your mind to play back that which entertains you. It is after all like recording material.

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MARIA MAR

How can we help the mind to let go?

SUGANDHI IYER

Some of this question is answered above. The key to getting the mind to let go is to meditate, breathe deeply, and to use logic that helps the mind understand why it should let go.

For example, if you are obsessed with someone and it is telling on your life force, you can get your mind to understand that its main concern should be your health, for instance. Now the mind is very concerned with your survival and so it will start to oblige you and think about taking you to the gym, run, dance, etc. Get your mind to understand why it should do something.

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MARIA MAR

What is the role of art and creativity in the process of manifestation?

SUGANDHI IYER

Such good questions! Art and being creative is what you are here for. This whole world is a work of art if you see it that way.

Creating is a work of art. As you create with love, you add the touches that add value to your creative work. For example, you want a job that pays your bills, now just like an artist add the details of that job- How will you feel as you perform your job? What kind of office would you like, what is the view that you will like to see outside your office window, how will your colleagues treat you? You are always in the process of creating and it is very artistic. This is one aspect of bringing art into your creation work.

The other aspect is how to use art to further your creations. Well, music is known to produce certain corresponding images and feelings in your mind, and this strengthens your vibrations for what you want.

You can listen to dance music and imagine you and your loved one dancing to glory. Or you can put up a picture of a cute baby and train your mind to start creating that beautiful baby in your life. I love music and use it for creating what I want. In fact, I sing and this adds so much color to my life.

Music and art can be used to uplift your mood and to bring in positive vibrations.

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MARIA MAR

What role does self-love play in helping us avoid obsession and passivity and create the life we want?

SUGANDHI IYER

If you cannot love yourself, the greatest of all works of art by the Divine, then you will want that love from someone else and it creates push and pull. Your happiness starts to depend on that other person (s) and this creates restlessness and anxiety in you.

When you love yourself, you are in total appreciation and gratitude of the life and body that the Divine has given you. As you respect yourself, the men or women in your life respect you and want you for the right reasons, and not the wrong ones.

The world respects you and they want to show you their respect and love. So love that chubby cheek, love that nose, love your teeth, your eyes, lips, and love everything that the Divine has given you.

First assumption you need to make is that- The Divine does not make mistakes. He created you with perfection in his mind. Okay so this world has certain concepts of what beauty is, but that is the overwhelming thoughts that this world has because of much propagated ideas of beauty. But if you see that each flower is beautiful and not every flower needs to look and smell like a rose (some have jasmine fragrance, etc.) then you will love yourself more and more.

Self love makes you feel contented and then from this space of contentment you can create amazing things in your life.

Just remember that if you don’t love yourself, you cannot expect others to love you. You are the first point of physical contact for your soul and then comes everything else. Your soul needs to love you first, and you need to love your soul first. Then take that love to the world and share your happiness. It will only increase for you.

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MARIA MAR

Thank you, Sugandhi, for these masterful teachings that are so clear as to appear simple, yet convey profound wisdom. I am confident that your answers here today will inspire our visitors and help them to release worry, fear and obsession, awaken instead their creative powers to manifest their dreams.

If our visitors want to learn more about your services, where should they go?

SUGANDHI IYER

Visit my website at:

http://www.lifebusinesscreations.com

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About Sugandhi Iyer

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

A Master of energy and consciousness, Sugandhi Iyer has put together an amazing system to get people to realize their dreams and change their experiences. She has studied the Law of Attraction and the nature of consciousness, and found that by working with the Universe, and with skillful thinking and action, energy can move in different ways getting a person closer to, and right into the reality he or she wants.

Sugandhi has mastered the Laws of Energy and Consciousness and has the amazing gift of being able to help people change their lives and realities as rapidly as they desire it. She works with healing modalities, like Angel Therapy, Hypnosis, Reiki, Pranic Healing, Neuro Linguistic Programming, practicing meditation and breathing exercises to empower you to live joyfully and manifest your dreams.

Her purpose is to help people strengthen their connection to Source and empower them to live life joyfully and move closer to, and then right into the reality that they want to experience in this wonderful journey called life.

Visit Sugandhi for more resources in your personal life or business, at:

http://www.lifebusinesscreations.com

I invite you to leave your questions and comments for Sugandhi here. Leave your prints and let her know how this has helped you.

If you receive this in an email, click here to leave your comment.

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