Book Review: Love your Body, Love your Life

BOOK REVIEW

by Maria Mar

the Dream Alchemist

Love your Body, Love your Life, by Sarah Maria

 

BOOK: Love your Body, Love your Life:

5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidentially

AUTHOR: Sarah Maria

 

 

Why is the Dream Alchemist reviewing this book? Why should I read it?

There is a lot of talk about “having a Dream” and manifesting it. The Law of Attraction has become almost an obsession in our popular psyche. But as a manifestation expert and shaman, I can assure you that “having a dream” is the easiest way to miss it. There is only one way to manifest your dream, and that is to BE your Dream. To embody it.

How can you embody your dream, however, if you are out of your body?

When you reject your body because it is not the perfect “ideal” body that you’ve come to believe you must have, then you are evicted from the first territory of your physical existence. Your body anchors you in the physical world. Negative Body Image throws away that anchor and evicts you from your body into the shadowlands of self-loathing.

Your body is intimately connected to your Soul, the holder of your Dream. Without your BodySoul, you have no compass to manifest your dream. You may try hard, do a lot, recite affirmations and try to change your thoughts. But nothing will work. Your actions are empty shells without power. Why?

Because the power that animates your intent is not there. Your Intent is the bow that sends the arrow of your Dream into the world. Your Intent comes from your BodySoul.

Reclaiming your love for your self is the first step to reclaim the power of your intent. Reclaiming your love for your body is the basic step to love yourself.

What is so hot about this book? Will I like it?

Sarah Maria’s “Love Love your Body, Love your Life: 5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidentially” is a soul-awakening journey to reclaim the love for your body and for yourself.

What I like about Sarah Maria’s book is that it addresses and integrates all the essential aspects in reclaiming your body: mind, emotions, body and spirit. The book inspires and motivates you. This enables you to activate the deep reserve of wisdom and courage in your spirit. It ignites the intuitive and instinctual power of your body. Then Sarah Maria guides your mind through simple, down to earth explanations and exercises. She addresses the transformational power of your emotions through stories and attitude shifting exercises.

We are all shapeshifters. We have the power to shift our reality. But in this society, we are using this power against ourselves: trying to shapeshift into something or someone else in order to deserve happiness or to fulfill our dreams.

Sarah Maria’s book allows you to use your shapeshifting power to liberate yourself, to BE you. This allows you to live from that real, unique and joyful place called YOU. Once you are there, you don’t need to have the dream because you ARE the dream!

Here’s another reason to get this book now:

I love this book so much that I contributed a gift ebook to Sarah Maria’s special “Rapid Success Gift Package” — a package of bonuses from experts who will help you to manifest the life you want. Sarah Maria added about 165 expert products that you can obtain free when you purchase THIS WEEK. (Week starting November 2, 2009)

Recommended:

**** 4 stars= Excellent read and excellent transformational tool

Read more about the book or purchase it at:

http://www.sarahmaria.com/

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Dance with the Music of Life

Hi, beautiful sisters and brothers,

In this 3-part blogging series, I reflect on the rhythms of our lives. I use three popular rhythms or experiences of music to help you explore how you can entrain with the music of life. By bringing yourself into harmony with that music, you are able to stop rushing, pushing and grating against the grain of time. Instead, you can begin to flow effortlessly towards your dreams, living fully and joyfully.

The first part, entitled “Soul Means Deep, Slow and Close to the Heart,” examines the obsessive-compulsive addiction with time and goals that keeps us alienated from our deepest personal truth and from the compass of our BodySoul. In this part, I use the rhythm of Soul, not only Soul as  the music genre, but other soulful rhythms such as Cante Jondo (Flamenco) and Bolero, to help you slow down and reach deep into yourself to enrich your experience of the present.

In the second part, entitled “Salsa Means Spice,” I remind you that life is to be lived in the now, to be enjoyed physically, to be danced with passion. I invite you to give yourself permission to be happy. Nothing like Salsa to get you laughing, moving your hips and enjoying the spontaneity of your being-in-joy. Step up to the pulse of life!

In the third part, entitled “Waltz Through Walls,” I reveal how the subtle power of harmony, embodied by Waltz, can free the vast force of your Infinite True Self, who is one with the Universe. I give you some steps to dissolve the illusion we call “obstacles.” I also let you know how waltzing through life expands your grace, allowing you to float effortlessly with the flow of affluence, with the winds of love.

Stay tune. I’ll post links to the three parts here, as I publish them:

Part 1: Soul Means Deep, Slow and Close to the Heart

Part 2: Salsa means Spice

Part 3: Waltz Through Walls

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com

PS: If you receive this through the email, you will get each part as it is posted.

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You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Are you a toxic magnet?

Are you a Toxic Magnet?

By Maria Mar(c)2009

Excerpt from

Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them

Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course

Are you signaling toxic people that you are a willing prey?

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Are you an unwilling, unconscious magnet for toxic people? If you often find yourself dealing with toxic people or if the effects of toxic encounters affect you more and for a longer time than they affect others, then you may be a Toxic Magnet.

Just because you have a couple of toxic relationships that need addressing or because you know some toxic people does not mean that you are a Toxic Magnet. Toxic people are everywhere. You are bound to meet a couple of every month, at least. Whether you hook up with them or not is another matter.

But if you often suffer from the anxiety, emotional torture and negative drama that toxic people generate, then you may want to examine if you are a Toxic Magnet.

This mini self-assessment is an excerpt from Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them, a digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course that helps you understand, transform and release the toxic relationships in your life.

To establish your Primary Emotional Response Pattern, in the list below, check any feelings that arise from your toxic encounter. Address one encounter at a time.

SECTION A

___  I keep thinking that I’ve done something wrong and keep trying to come up with another way of responding, but everything fails.

___   I feel guilty when I tell the person how I feel or when I set limits.

___  I feel hurt and sad. I want the person to tell me that she loves me and accept me as I am.

SECTION B

___    I want to win. I want her to apologize and accept that she is wrong. I keep bring up evidence and arguments, but she won’t give in.

___    I feel trapped and frustrated. I can’t find a way to get a win-win solution. Everything I say is misinterpreted and I am at the end of my wit.

___    I wrap myself in patience and try to address each complaint. But the complaints never seize and it’s frustrating.

SECTION C

___    I feel that I am more mature and healthy than this person and should be able to address the situation in an effective way.

___    I allow the person to rant and rave or do her acting out. I feel like a mother waiting for a kid to finish a tantrum.

___    I speak to her as to a child, softly and calmly. I listen attentively and then ask questions.

SECTION D

___    I feel exhausted. I am drained of all energy. I feel unable to continue with this dynamic, and at the same time, I am scared of what she might do if I do not continue.

___    My overwhelming feeling is fear. Fear that I may be fired, that I will be judged, that I will be exposed or hurt. I feel intimidated.

___    I can’t find my voice. I want to scream or confront the person, but I get a lump in my throat.

SECTION E

___    I want to go away and avoid the whole thing because it causes too much anxiety.

___    I go away emotionally. I feel frozen or paralyzed or simply disappear and show up when it’s all over.

___    I am shocked. I can’t believe it. It all becomes a blur.

Look at the section that has the most checks. That’s your Primary Emotional Response Patterns.

Section A= Defective

Section B=Fixer

Section C=Saint

Section D=Follower

Section E=Sleepwalker

Types of Toxic Magnets

We humans are complex beings. Once you have dived into the infinite layers of the subconscious, you learn that we are as vast as all universes existing throughout eternity.

Therefore, the types that are presented in this self-assessment barely scratch the surface of your Toxic Magnet behaviors and beliefs. Furthermore, you will rarely fit only in one Toxic Magnet Type.

However, recognizing your Primary Emotional Responses allows you to spot how a specific toxic person or situation triggers a specific type of Toxic Magnet response in you. Since you cannot change the other, but you can change your responses, this information empowers you to change the responses that keep you hooked in the Toxic Dance.

Section A: The Defectives

If you checked a majority of items in Section A, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Defectives. The Defectives secretly feel defective, damaged, less than others or insufficient. They seek to gain value by giving, being good, serving others, placating or appeasing or by playing second best.

If you fit this profile, this does not mean that you ARE defective. It means that the Ugly Duckling is alive somewhere in your psyche, stealing the majestic Swan you truly are. This hooks you up with toxic people, who are big blamers. Their blaming triggers your secret feelings of not being enough and keeps you hooked in the Toxic Dance.

Section B: The Fixers

If you checked a majority of items in Section B, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Fixers. The Fixers need something or someone to fix in order to distract themselves from their own issues. They have inherited an emotional belief that they cannot be loved unless they give others what they want, unless they are needed, in control or perfect.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a control freak and want to fix everyone ―though this may also be true. It means that when a toxic person complaints or blame others or a situation for their actions, you get hooked trying to solve the problem and that fixing obsession keeps you in the Toxic Dance.

Section C: The Followers

If you checked a majority of items in Section C, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Followers. The Followers learned to blend with the wall paper in order to avoid conflict or abuse. They focus on others to gain their support and avoid decisions, risks or responsibility. They are afraid to assume their power or leadership or to speak their truth.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a coward who is easily bullied. It means that when a toxic person displays intimidating behavior, you may be unable to stand up to this person. You may freeze, lose your voice or give in to avoid conflicts. By giving in, you stay in the Toxic Dance.

Section D: The Saints

If you checked a majority of items in Section D, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Saints. The Saints believe that they have to sacrifice in order to deserve a place in the world. They also believe that to gain heaven or spiritual evolution, they need to sacrifice their own desires, happiness and sometimes even their wellbeing.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a goody-two-shoes who can’t stand up for herself. It means that when a toxic person trespasses your personal boundaries, you are going to use inappropriate compassion to enable their inappropriate behavior. By sacrificing your personal needs and not prioritizing your own feelings and desires, you get pulled into the Toxic Dance

Section E: The Sleep-walkers

If you checked a majority of items in Section E, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Sleep-Walker. The Sleep-Walkers “go away” at the least sign of danger, confrontation or risk. They may do this by disconnecting emotionally or mentally from the situation, literally leaving, “switching off” or using an addictive behavior or substance.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE Sleeping Beauty personified ―though you should track down how pervasive this reaction is in your life. It means that when a toxic person discharges their toxic energy or creates conflicts, you will not be able to take effective action because you will fall into the sleeping trance, which keeps you in the Toxic Dance.

I hope that in recognizing the role you may play in attracting, hooking up with or allowing the toxic behavior, you have realized to what measure you may be a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you avoid your responsibility and are afraid of assuming your Personal Power, in that measure you become a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you are not willing to see what you see, in which you avoid the truth and try to change, appease or follow others to avoid confrontation, in that same measure your become a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you see what you see, take responsibility for your choices and assume your Personal Power, in that same measure you signal to toxic people that you are not prey.

In the measure in which you honor your truth, release control over others and stand as your self-authority, in that same measure you are free from the hooks and attachments that keep people in the Toxic Dance.

The END

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You can use this article in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar(c)2009. Maria Mar is a writer, inspirational speaker and poet, a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman. Maria helps people understand and release toxic relationships in the Toxic
Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them
Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course


Prosperity or Poverty: Choose your Mirror

Prosperity or Poverty:

Choose your Mirror


By Maria Mar©2009

A visual storytelling journey

to dispel the thieves of your prosperity.


The meeting got complicated. It would take much of the day. We broke for lunch and I hurried to the bathroom. There I met a fascinating woman. As our lunch hour coincided, we had lunch together in the building’s ground-level cafeteria.

art by Maria Mar(c)2009. No reproduction, copy/paste allowed.

I felt that a strong, peaceful connection had brought us together and was very curious as to the purpose of this encounter. We began to talk with ease.

I was pleasantly surprised when I realized that Lillianne* was a spiritual catalyst whose inspired writings I had read once when I somehow clicked on a link to her blog.

I recalled that she was a wise woman with an extraordinary capacity for deep reflection into the mysteries of existence. In her beautiful writings, I had appreciated her thorough understanding of the Law of Attraction. I especially admired her awareness of how we create our own universe with our thoughts, emotions and choices.

Lillianne and I talked passionately for a while about these topics, which we both loved. But even through the lightness of this lovely conversation, I could feel that a heavy silence weighed on her. Finally, Lillianne could not contain her anguish any longer. She burst out into tears.


The Empty Hands

“I am so scared!” she stuttered between sobs. “I have reached the bottom. I don’t understand how this is happening to me. Ten years ago, I began my own business. You may not believe it looking at me now, but I have earned thousands of dollars in a week. I have charged clients in an hour more than what I am making daily in this job.”

Lillianne was trying hard not to burst into tears again in the crowded cafeteria. We left the noisy place and took refuge in a small lobby, where a sofa nested inside a niche was conveniently hidden by a group of tall palms and other potted plants.

We sat, wrapped in heavy silence, now broken only by some quiet sobs. Lillianne stared at her empty hands.

I remembered a time in which I also stared at my empty hands. I had lost everything I had in a bizarre housing disaster. I had to leave all my art and tools, my clothing and most of my possessions behind. I had no idea where I would go. As I recovered my health in a friend’s guest room, I had stared at my hands, empty after so many years of giving the best of my creativity.

In the deeply carved lines, I had read my past. I faced the war I waged against money. I recognized how I spent it as soon as I got it, as if it burned my hands. I realized that I had not created financial structures, strategies or goals in my life. It was a brutal encounter with realities that I had disregarded for most of my adult life. This disregard had lead to that moment, in which I had no emergency money or financial alternatives to recover from this crisis.

“Is this a lesson I must learn? Am I being cleansed of ego?” Lillianne asked abruptly. Her voice reminded me of a little girl who has been punished and is trying to understand what she did wrong. But there was someone else in that voice: the punisher herself, flagellating Lillianne in each of her questions.


Only for Love

“I was so broke that I had to place a PayPal button in my blog. Imagine? I had to ask my subscribers for donations!” Lillianne said, as if that was the ultimate perversion.

Lillianne was thankful that her 10,000 subscribers had sent her so many blessings and kind words and had given her generous donations, which kept her afloat for about a month. But her monthly obligations had to be met, and she had finally caved in. Her eyes were wide with terror.

“I admit that my relationship with money has not been good. There’s a lot of guilt attached to it. I played the starving artist for most of my youth. And now, it appears that I am playing the starving guru,” she whispered with a faint smile.

Lillianne exhaled a pain-ridden sight that traveled through my bones. I tried to piece together the two opposite images I was receiving from the same woman.

Lillianne had shared that her subscribers were very active and often responded to her articles. During our conversation in the cafeteria, she had told me, with badly concealed pride, that her subscribers had suggested that she charge a subscription fee for the blog. When she refused, some suggested that she
offer an upgraded service, with more support and inspiration, for a monthly fee. Lillianne had refused to do that, too.

“I am not doing this blog to get money,” Lillianne had said, almost angry. “This is for love. To inspire.”

I had assumed then that she had devised other means of earning money. After all, she had coached corporations and organizations and had impressive recommendations about her work.

Now, however, I realized that this Rich-Wise-Woman had not created a strategy to earn money. Instead, she had fed her “Poor-but-Good” Shadow Self.


The War Against Money

As I handed Lillianne some tissues, I asked her how she had planned to earn money from the time she invested in her blog.

“No, not from the blog,” she insisted. “I don’t want to charge for that.”

“I got that,” I replied as gently as I could.

I did not want Lillianne to think that I was blaming or judging her. Quiet the contrary. I strongly empathized with her. I had similar Personal Medicines to Lillianne. It followed that I had been given similar emotional wounds in which to hide ―and find― these Medicines.

“But you have a business, don’t you?” I softly asked. “What monetization strategies do you have for your business?”

“I sell products,” Lillianne said defensively. As I had a laptop, she asked me to open it and soon she was showing me her products.

“I have two books, two CDs and several other products,” Lillianne showed me with a trickle of enthusiasm. I could see that she had put a lot of love in these products. I could also see that she sold them piece-meal, without a sense of a system or philosophy that integrated them and added the value of her unique offering.

“But the sales trickle in and do not even cover the business expenses,” Lillianne concluded, as she clicked out of her “Store” tab and into her “About Lillianne” tab.

In her biography, Lillianne had gone into a lengthy monologue about life. I liked her style to a point, because I could hear her voice. But I had no idea of what she could do for me, what her services where, what system of philosophy, if any she had, and what her unique offer was to me. She had wrapped herself in her beautiful, creative words, but remained a lonely island separated from her products and from her capacity to satisfy the growing needs of her readers.

Little by little, I got a picture of Lillianne’s business. Her blog was a plain template with not as much as a header. There was no branding there. I could not get a sense of who she was or the uniqueness of her gifts. Having felt her warmth and caring love, it seemed a pity that these qualities were not reflected in her blog.

She had no social media presence or links and no adsense or google ads. She had no affiliate program, so she could not earn income through joint venture partnerships and affiliate sales, either.

Why had Lillianne refused her clients’ request? Why hadn’t she created a paid monthly support, even though they had expressed their need for this?

It wasn’t that hard to create protected blog pages for paying subscribers, and she could still delivered the free access pages she was writing now.

Her clients were ready and eager to participate in deeper conversation, to receive her guidance. Instead, Lillianne had continued her long-lasting conversation with the world in her blog, refusing to monetize her writings.


Not for Sale

A light bulb turned on. I understood too well Lillianne’s resistance. I had been given a devastating message as a teenager, when my mom stopped giving me lunch money so that I would not stay in college for rehearsals. That was her way of trying to stop me from pursuing my acting career. This had also been the beginning of my eating disorders, as I had stayed for rehearsals, forsaking lunch and dinners for days on a row, until I was severely undernourished.

The price for self-loyalty, I had learned, was poverty. That had been the beginning of a war between creativity and prosperity. This war went on for decades during my adult life. I knew from experience how insidious this polarity could be.

In the ten years of healing my issues with money, I had tracked down how deeply and invisibly one can sabotage one’s prosperity in the most absurd ways without even realizing it. It came as no surprise to me, then, that Lillianne had not charged for her creative, spiritual writings.

I could now touch the heart of the matter. I found Lillianne’s tiny orphan-self, hiding behind her wise words. She was a little girl seeking belonging, giving endlessly of her vast gifts in an effort to be loved.

Lillianne was not valuing her wisdom as a service that she gave to others for their benefit. She had written some words in her blog that said this. But she was not living it. She did not believe it.

Perhaps when she went to a corporation and did a workshop she saw herself as giving a service. But not from her Essence, not from her writings ―from her

creativity. In her eyes, to use her words as a service and charge for it would have been to betray her soul.

Lillianne’s underground orphanhood and her war with money were sabotaging her life’s purpose.


The Cloak of Ghosts

Lillianne had not released the Cloak of Ghosts. Many of us inherit this heavy mantle of learned beliefs and toxic emotions from our elders. It is passed to us by our family of origin and culture. Lillianne’s Cloak of Ghosts was filled with guilt, shame and anger against money and attachment to poverty, which she saw as proof of goodness.

  • Love vs. power

  • Spirituality vs. money

  • Creativity vs. service

  • Creativity vs. prosperity

  • Honesty vs. authority

These were only a few of the battles in Lillianne’s Inner War.

Lillianne got up and threw the crumbled tissues into a nearby garbage can. I felt that her hopes were as crumbled as the tissues and my heart felt heavy for her. She swept some crumbs off her overall uniform and picked up her dirty maintenance globes.

As we returned to the fifth floor, she waived a sad goodbye and returned to the toilets left to clean.


The Two Mirrors

As Lillianne moved away, I saw a woman in war with herself. This woman had looked into two different mirrors and had secretly chosen the familiar one, though it in no way reflected her Essence.

Art by Maria Mar (c)2009. No reproduction, copy/paste allowed.

The Poverty Mirror

In the mirror she had secretly chosen, Lillianne was an abandoned, unloved orphan trapped in poverty.

Guided by guilt and fear, she had erected an unforgiving God-parent who stripped her of “ego” (her own desires, her power to manifest, her true value?) by punishing her with a poverty that in no way reflected her inner richness.

The true punishment was however, self-inflicted. Lillianne refused to charge for the services she came here to give. Instead, she had chosen to beg for them.

Art by Maria Mar(c)2009. No reproduction, copy/paste permitted.

In the mirror that reflected her Essence, Lillianne was a Wise Woman, a radiant being full of wisdom-treasures.

She had the rare courage to dive deep into her Soul and to bring from those depths unfathomable riches searched and needed by millions.

Her hands were filled with plenty. Her life could but reflect her inner riches and her generosity of spirit.

For now, the orphan had won this battle. But by now I knew Lillianne. I knew that she would push against the bottom and rise in full majesty.


Hands filled to the rim

I looked at my hands then and remembered that day in my friend’s guest room, when I stared at my empty hands.

In those deeply carved lines, I had read my present. I had seen the extraordinary value of the wisdom that had been handed me. I had traced the grace of my words and my art. I had weighted the substance of my gifts.

My hands were not empty. They were filled to the rim with valuable wisdom, tools andinspiration. They had been  bestowed to me with the charge to pass them on.

That day I had created my business, firmly founded on my writings, my art and my spiritual wisdom.

As the bathroom door swallowed Lillianne, I sent her a blessing.

May you look at your emptyhands and see the treasures overflowing.

May you value each word of wisdom that flows from your lips and hands as a sacred treasure with the power to transform the world.

May you receive the river of affluence that flows right now from the Universe to you. May you allow it to shower you in prosperity.

May you open your heart to receive the riches you already have.

I hold this blessing in my heart, for myself.

I send it to each of you in these challenging times, with the invitation to choose the mirror that reflects your richness and release the fear that drags you into a place of fear and lack.

Light and love, Maria Mar
The Dream Alchemist

PS: If you feel that you need help with your Shadow Selves, self-sabotage or manifesting your dream, please check my coaching services at: http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/coaching.htm

_________________________________________


* The name and circumstances have been changed to protect this person’s privacy.


Photos courtesy of Morguefile.com


Art copyright of Maria Mar(c)2009. No reproduction or copy/paste permitted.


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You can use this story in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

Obsession or manifestation?

Obsession or manifestation?

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

In this interview, artist-shaman Maria Mar, the Dream Alchemist,  interviews a Master of manifestation and spiritual teacher and healer, Sugandhi Iyer, to help you discover the difference between obsessing for what you want, and focusing on your goals with pure intent.


MARIA MAR

Sugandhi, you have stated that “Manifestation starts when obsession ends.” How does obsession block the flow of the Law of Attraction?

SUGANDHI IYER

Obsession indicates a state where the mind is captured by a subject matter to such a degree that it may exclude all else and cause discomfort.

The mind is like recording material and is also a processing tool. When it finds something fascinating, it keeps on chewing about it. When you obsess about something or someone, most times you are drawing attention away from the thing or person(s) that you should be spending your time on, and most times that something or person is ‘you’.

For example, some people develop a romantic obsession, and in extreme cases they forget to eat, sleep and take care of their own selves. This obsession is unhealthy because the time and energy could be spent developing yourself and other life areas. Every life area needs attention.

Many times such obsession may also block out the subject of the obsession itself, because the mind is spending time trying to hopelessly figure out how to get the subject of the obsession, and this gives out resultant vibrations of fear and lack, attracting more of the same back.

________________________

MARIA MAR

What is the difference between obsession, pure intent and single-pointed focus?

SUGANDHI IYER

Obsession is the compulsive preoccupation with an idea or something, and this preoccupation creates anxiety. Normally, obsession is accompanied by tones of impossibility.

Pure intent is when you have an intention to do or be something and you know that it is possible.

For example, you intend to treat yourself to a nice evening out this weekend. If you know you can be invited or take yourself out and do it, then it is a pure intent free of feelings of difficulty. You have an idea, and you carry it out. It is simple in your books and well within your ability to create or do. It actually makes you feel good just thinking about it, or anticipating it, knowing full well that it is possible.

Single pointed focus is your ability to give complete attention to something.

This is where you consciously decide to focus on something. This normally does not give rise to anxiety because it is within your control to defocus if you so choose.

For example, you may decide to go to the gym and work on your abs five days a week. You are focused and give this task your single pointed attention. Now if you decide you don’t want to do this, you can take your attention and focus off and turn it to something else. Like I said, this is within your control.

Obsession on the other hand, is normally not in your control and is dictated more by habits and patterns that have become set in your mind. You are not the master of your focus on the subject matter, but rather your subject matter captures your focus to an extent where your conscious mind no longer has much of a say. You don’t happily decide to do something here but are governed more by a fatal attraction.

________________________

MARIA MAR

What are the most important steps a woman can take to free herself from obsession?

SUGANDHI IYER

If you need to temporarily develop resistance towards the subject matter of the obsession, then do it.

For example, if you like a man who you think is tall, dark and handsome, and you feel like you are overly obsessing about this man, find something in him that is “not so great”. Maybe he talks with a funny accent, or chews his food too loudly. Start to laugh thinking about it and allow your mind to become free. You can now actually enjoy this man, more as a normal man, and not the ‘icon’ that you think he is.

Meanwhile, build up your own self-worth. Empower yourself, and bring your focus back to you. Work out, read, sing, discover hidden talents, build on these talents, feel delighted with yourself and how you cook, walk, talk, smile and even clean your house! Focus on your job, volunteer and do some service, and realize how amazingly beautiful you are. Then find something in you, or in a hobby, or in your job, that is even more attractive to you, or at least attractive enough that it is able to capture your mind first for a few minutes, and then more and more.

As the subject of your obsession loses it charm and hold over you, and as you build yourself up in your mind, the subject of obsession may just turn around and notice how beautiful YOU are. This logic can be applied with anything, even an obsession with food, or anything else.

Find something in what you are obsessing about that will make you think “And I was obsessing about that, no way!”  But remember here that if you really like the person, then retain the liking and the love, and let go of the obsession part. You don’t have to get rid of someone or something in your attempt to be free of the obsession. You can continue to like and foster good feelings, but in a healthy way, and not in an obsessive way.

It also really helps to remember the people who really love you and care for your wellbeing, for example, your parents, your siblings, any children that you may have. Their happiness is vested in your happiness, and it would hurt them to see you get hurt. Think of these people and you will find the power to feel so much love for them that your obsession for the person or thing that is capturing your mind and giving you grief, will reduce.

Think of the Divine and feel love for the creation forces of this Universe. Let the Divine’s love fill you up and remove the void which is the main reason for the obsession.

_______________________

MARIA MAR

How does lack feed or create obsession and how can we avoid obsessing for the things we now lack but desire?

SUGANDHI IYER

The answer to this question can also be found above, but to add to it- lack gets the mind to keep thinking and figuring things out.

Until you get something, you will keep working at it. This is the nature of the mind. To let go of what you lack but still desire, find something that is not so great about what you desire. Also tell yourself “I understand that I don’t have what I want right now, but I may get it later on. Tomorrow is a whole new day and I am constantly getting aligned to what I want.”

Once your mind knows that it still has a chance to get what it wants, it will stop working so hard on this problem because it is no longer a problem. In the current moment of now, you may not have what you want, but the next moment is completely different.

Ask for what you want, feel good, and let it go. Defocus and work on something else that is important, you!

________________________

MARIA MAR

Is it wrong to “try to make things happen”? Isn’t a laissez faire attitude really passivity?

SUGANDHI IYER

A bit of this and a bit of that is required. Sometimes you may need to let go, and let things happen on their own. And sometimes you may have to take some action. Your energy is always balancing itself and you will know what is required.

It also depends on your basic nature. If you are too soft and too laid back, then it is time to stand your ground and make things happen. But if you are a person who is always chasing things, then learn to be laid back and let things happen.

Sometimes inaction is the best action. It all depends on a case to case basis. Be prepared to use the appropriate skill and smarts required to handle situations, and to know the best route to take in each situation.

Yes, many times for people who are go-getters, the laissez faire attitude does seem like passivity. But if you know that something is yours, then lay back and allow it to come to you. If you feel however that you need to do something, some ground work, then do that, then step back and relax.

_________________

MARIA MAR

What is the difference between letting go and letting God, aligning with Divine intent and passivity?

SUGANDHI IYER

Letting go happens when you feel that you have done all that you in the limited ability of your human mind and body can do, and doing anything else will only endanger the situation. You have more or less reached a wall, and so you ask God to take over. You let go and let God.

Aligning with Divine intent is releasing the situation so that ‘Divine will’ can happen. In letting go and letting God, you are still asking for a particular outcome, that which you in your human mind still want. In allowing or aligning with Divine intent, you are asking God to take over and do what HE/SHE wants for you.

In passivity, you are basically sitting still, not doing anything, not even letting go and asking God to do the job for you, nor asking that ‘Divine will’ be done.

Passivity indicates almost a non-movement and many times no will for anything really. It also comes from a feeling of failure and not even having enough interest in the subject matter for anything to happen. This non-interest may have come about because of seeing too much failure in that matter, or because of a genuine lack of interest.

_______________________

MARIA MAR

Why is it that the mind runs off into a non-stop thought process, trying to plan and control every little detail of what we want?

SUGHANDI IYER

It’s the mind’s job to do that. It is the physical aspect of the subtle soul energy.

The core of the soul energy is beyond all physical influence. The core of the soul does not care about anything as it is beyond everything.

But the mind is that part of the soul energy that deals with earth life. It is vested with the job of protecting and taking care of the physical acts of living. It also includes the intelligence which thinks and analyzes (you can think of the intellect as being part of, or separate, from the mind depending on how you want to view it).

So basically the only way to still the mind is to go into states of meditation, or to do something that brings you into the moment of now. At other times learn to ignore the mind’s voices, and retrain it to think about things that you like.

Example: A lot of artists who love music train their minds to think about lovely music and their mind plays wonderful tunes for their own entertainment. You can train your mind to play back that which entertains you. It is after all like recording material.

____________________

MARIA MAR

How can we help the mind to let go?

SUGANDHI IYER

Some of this question is answered above. The key to getting the mind to let go is to meditate, breathe deeply, and to use logic that helps the mind understand why it should let go.

For example, if you are obsessed with someone and it is telling on your life force, you can get your mind to understand that its main concern should be your health, for instance. Now the mind is very concerned with your survival and so it will start to oblige you and think about taking you to the gym, run, dance, etc. Get your mind to understand why it should do something.

________________________

MARIA MAR

What is the role of art and creativity in the process of manifestation?

SUGANDHI IYER

Such good questions! Art and being creative is what you are here for. This whole world is a work of art if you see it that way.

Creating is a work of art. As you create with love, you add the touches that add value to your creative work. For example, you want a job that pays your bills, now just like an artist add the details of that job- How will you feel as you perform your job? What kind of office would you like, what is the view that you will like to see outside your office window, how will your colleagues treat you? You are always in the process of creating and it is very artistic. This is one aspect of bringing art into your creation work.

The other aspect is how to use art to further your creations. Well, music is known to produce certain corresponding images and feelings in your mind, and this strengthens your vibrations for what you want.

You can listen to dance music and imagine you and your loved one dancing to glory. Or you can put up a picture of a cute baby and train your mind to start creating that beautiful baby in your life. I love music and use it for creating what I want. In fact, I sing and this adds so much color to my life.

Music and art can be used to uplift your mood and to bring in positive vibrations.

____________________________

MARIA MAR

What role does self-love play in helping us avoid obsession and passivity and create the life we want?

SUGANDHI IYER

If you cannot love yourself, the greatest of all works of art by the Divine, then you will want that love from someone else and it creates push and pull. Your happiness starts to depend on that other person (s) and this creates restlessness and anxiety in you.

When you love yourself, you are in total appreciation and gratitude of the life and body that the Divine has given you. As you respect yourself, the men or women in your life respect you and want you for the right reasons, and not the wrong ones.

The world respects you and they want to show you their respect and love. So love that chubby cheek, love that nose, love your teeth, your eyes, lips, and love everything that the Divine has given you.

First assumption you need to make is that- The Divine does not make mistakes. He created you with perfection in his mind. Okay so this world has certain concepts of what beauty is, but that is the overwhelming thoughts that this world has because of much propagated ideas of beauty. But if you see that each flower is beautiful and not every flower needs to look and smell like a rose (some have jasmine fragrance, etc.) then you will love yourself more and more.

Self love makes you feel contented and then from this space of contentment you can create amazing things in your life.

Just remember that if you don’t love yourself, you cannot expect others to love you. You are the first point of physical contact for your soul and then comes everything else. Your soul needs to love you first, and you need to love your soul first. Then take that love to the world and share your happiness. It will only increase for you.

________________________

MARIA MAR

Thank you, Sugandhi, for these masterful teachings that are so clear as to appear simple, yet convey profound wisdom. I am confident that your answers here today will inspire our visitors and help them to release worry, fear and obsession, awaken instead their creative powers to manifest their dreams.

If our visitors want to learn more about your services, where should they go?

SUGANDHI IYER

Visit my website at:

http://www.lifebusinesscreations.com

__________________________

About Sugandhi Iyer

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

Sugandhi Iyer, master manifesting teacher

A Master of energy and consciousness, Sugandhi Iyer has put together an amazing system to get people to realize their dreams and change their experiences. She has studied the Law of Attraction and the nature of consciousness, and found that by working with the Universe, and with skillful thinking and action, energy can move in different ways getting a person closer to, and right into the reality he or she wants.

Sugandhi has mastered the Laws of Energy and Consciousness and has the amazing gift of being able to help people change their lives and realities as rapidly as they desire it. She works with healing modalities, like Angel Therapy, Hypnosis, Reiki, Pranic Healing, Neuro Linguistic Programming, practicing meditation and breathing exercises to empower you to live joyfully and manifest your dreams.

Her purpose is to help people strengthen their connection to Source and empower them to live life joyfully and move closer to, and then right into the reality that they want to experience in this wonderful journey called life.

Visit Sugandhi for more resources in your personal life or business, at:

http://www.lifebusinesscreations.com

I invite you to leave your questions and comments for Sugandhi here. Leave your prints and let her know how this has helped you.

If you receive this in an email, click here to leave your comment.

__________

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Raising the Prosperity Ceiling

Raising the Prosperity Ceiling

Are you bumping against your Prosperity Ceiling?

Are you bumping against your Prosperity Ceiling?

Are you held down by your Prosperity Ceiling? This is the maximum amount of money and the default prosperity exchange that you are able to receive emotionally for your work.

The Prosperity Ceiling is your hidden, unconscious expectation about prosperity. The Prosperity Ceiling was created in your emotional space during early childhood and adolescence. No matter how hard you chase your own vision of prosperity, if you do not break this invisible ceiling, you will stay within its parameters.

If you grew up in an environment where the money people earned came from exchanging dollar for hours and working for somebody else, chances are that this environment became part of your Prosperity Ceiling. It may be emotionally connected with safety, security, stability and survival.

In this case, working for yourself may evoke terror. It may feel as too risky. Perhaps you have seen that working for someone else does not go well with you. You are fiercely independent. You have a clear life purpose. You  hold your freedom in high regard. These are the qualities of an entrepreneur. Knowing this, you create your own business or work as a free-lance or consultant. Everything finally falls into place.

But the Prosperity Ceiling you inherited says that the choice you’ve made is too risky. Your learned beliefs hold that if you choose independence, you will not be stable, that your survival may be at stake and you will not make as much money. In this case, your free-choice is at war with your Prosperity Ceiling.

This hidden belief may have zipped into your conscious mind. You may hold it as a fact. In this case, you have an expectation of instability and of earning less money because of your choice. The Universe will respond, as it always does, by fulfilling your expectations.

The hidden belief, however, may have remained in your unconscious. In this case, you may consciously believe that you can acquire greater wealth doing what you want as an independent business or consultant. You are determined to create wealth through your choice. But your unconscious has different expectations. It is holding on to the Prosperity Ceiling and will not allow you to surpass it.

If you realize that your prosperity dreams are crashing against your Prosperity Ceiling, here’s the recipe to Raise the Ceiling.

STEPS TO RAISE YOUR PROSPERITY CEILING

Break the limits of your Prosperity Ceiling!

Break the limits of your Prosperity Ceiling!

Step 1: Examine and release your Inner War

Track down what goals and values are at war within you. If you are at war, you are wasting your energy running from one extreme to the other, from one value to its opposite, and you won’t move ahead.

Examples of Inner Wars:

  • prosperity vs. freedom
  • goodness vs. money
  • acceptance vs. wealth
  • power vs. love
  • security vs. independence

2. Examine and release your Inner Crusades.

Are you in a holy war against values or realities that you attach to wealth or success? You can’t have money if you hate it. You won’t have money if you think it’s bad.

Examples of Inner Crusades:

  • Capitalism is bad and all capitalists are thiefs.
  • Wealthy people are selfish people who stock money and don’t contribute to others’ life.
  • Poor people are good and honest. They are MY people.
  • BIG money enslaves you and is the enemy of your freedom.
  • BIG money means corruption.

3. Examine your emotional resonance in connection to wealth.

The Prosperity Ceiling may not be obvious. You may think that you believe that you have a right to be wealthy and happy. But your Emotional Undertow may be swimming with fear and toxic beliefs around money that you are not aware of. Many people who grew up poor HATE money. That’s right. They want it. They are hungry for it, but they HATE it. In their Emotional Undertow, money is a father that abandoned them, leaving them to their fate. Money is what the OTHERS have that they don’t. Money is their enemy.

Unless you become aware of your emotions and the vibrational frequency they create, you may not realize that your Emotional Undertow is pulling you away from the shores of your dreams of prosperity.

  1. Hold the largest bill you have available on your hands while seating comfortably.
  2. Breathe deeply and slowly for about 5 minutes, emptying your mind and simply looking at the bill.
  3. Become aware of the vibration your body is emitting. It may feel as a buzz or spiraling of energy in and around you. It may sound like a far away radio frequency.
  4. Seat quietly listening to it.
  5. Imagine that the bill multiplies. If it was a $10 bill, visualize that it is now a $100 bill.
  6. Listen to the vibrational frequency. How does it change? Is it becoming stronger and more harmonious, or more dissonant and violent?
  7. Imagine again that the bill multiples, so that the $100 bill is not $1,000.
  8. Go back to feeling the vibrational frequency.
  9. Keep raising the amount of the bill and observing how the frequency changes.
  10. Your Prosperity Ceiling creates dissonance in your vibrational frequency, as defensive emotions and deeply imbedded beliefs rear their ugly heads to repel and fight greater abundance.

Know how low or high is your Prosperity Ceiling. Use the following practices daily to increase your threshold everyday.

  • Affirmations
  • Meditation
  • Emotional Release
  • Active Receiving
  • Energy work (yoga, tai chi, pranic healing, acupuncture, etc.)

With steady work, you will be able to Raise your Prosperity Ceiling.

Does this help? Please let me know! I welcome your comments.

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

RESOURCES

For daily affirmations, tips and inspiration, visit my Daily Dream Alchemist Tips blog. Subscribe by clicking on the top right link and you will receive my Daily tips and affirmations directly into your email.

http://dreamalchemist.wordpress.com

In a hurry? Subscribe by clicking below, and you will receive my Daily tips and affirmations directly into your email.

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For Emotional Release, I recommend two excellent resources:

The Sedona Method

Learn more here:

http://www.sedona.com

The Emotional Freedom Technique

Download the free manual for EFT here:

http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp

Having troubles receiving what you want:

Book a coaching session with me:

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Are you swimming an emotional marathon?

Are you swimming an emotional marathon?

By Maria Mar©

I posted this tip in my Dream Alchemist Daily Tips blog:

Mermaid Power, art by Maria Mar(c)

Mermaid Power, art by Maria Mar(c)

Do you feel exhausted after doing something emotionally challenging, like walking through fear or breaking a habit? The action might have been simple, like making a phone call. You may be thinking that it’s silly to be so tired. Be especially loving with yourself at this time. Rest and reward yourself. Swimming against the Emotional Undertow of old learned emotions uses more energy than swimming in a marathon.

I also posted it in my Facebook Update. Here are some of the answers I’ve gotten so far:

“Thank you so much. I feel like you read my mind, it is very difficult to say no to people who have been using me for years, just the fear of saying no has been very difficult and exhausting, but after the storm I feel much better and respect myself much more.”

“YES. This is so what I needed to read today. It’s hard to move on sometimes, past the bad habits.”

This brings up a couple of questions about emotional breakthrough, and that’s what I want to explore in this post.

  • What is the Emotional Undertow?
  • Why do we experience paralyzing fear or resistance to do certain things that we know rationally are good for us and which we don’t have any skill-impairment to do?(like saying no, making a phone call, selling something or talking about what we do, for example.)
  • Why are bad habits seem like impenetrable barriers?
  • What can I do to diminish the anxiety and fear and take action from a place of peace?

Here are some answers to these questions.

Emotional Undertow

I use the term Emotional Undertow to describe the cumulative emotional charge connected to learned beliefs or habits. An example will help.

Mary has been hiding backstage while others get the credit. She’s done this all her life. Now, at 35, she realizes that this has sabotaged her success, prosperity and self-esteem. Mary has created a new line of products that she is promoting and needs to make herself visible in order to sell them. While Mary has previously helped many people sell and she has all the necessary skills, every time she picks up the phone or sends an email to make herself and her brand visible, she goes through high levels of anxiety, days of procrastination, sweaty hands and mental confusion. What is going on?

Mary learned very early on in her childhood that she could not be visible. If she was visible…(fill in the blanks.) The learned belief may be that

  • she would not be loved,
  • she was bad or
  • something terrible would happen as punishment for her arrogance.

This belief was most often communicated emotionally, without direct words or warning, but with great intensity.

The child learned this emotionally, nor rationally. She felt this belief as a life or death warning. “If I am visible, if I shine, then, something terrible will happen. I will not be loved. I am a bad person and God will punish me.”

The emotions inherited with the learned belief were:

  • Terror of being alone and not being loved if she became visible or took credit for her gifts and work.
  • Extreme shame and feelings of being evil, of being an opportunist of being arrogant if she name her worth or expressed her gifts.
  • Exaggerated feelings of dread and life-threatening fear that something terrible will happen the minute she steps out of her Invisibility Cloak.

The depth, weight and pull of your Emotional Undertow

These learned emotions are so threatening and forbidding to a child, that they create an emotional barrier.

For 35 years, Mary has fed these learned emotions. Every time that Mary wanted to shine, to express herself in public, to take credit for what she created, these same emotions reared their ugly head.

But Mary, not having the awareness of what was behind her fear or lacking the emotional skills to deal with them, repressed them.

At 35, Mary has 35 emotional tons of this threatening, shaming emotions accumulated. That’s her Emotional Undertow.

Emotions are flowing energies that run through our Energy Body, stirring up memories, signaling nerve responses, evoking images, generating physical states and turning on mental pathways. They are very powerful. More powerful than thoughts, because they carry charge that can ignite certain thoughts associated to them, so that your rational thoughts don’s stand a chance.

The good news is that these energies are constantly changing. That’s why they are archetypically associated with water. They can change form, color, temperature, density and electrical charge. They can be transformed. That is why you need to feel them, follow them to their source and then release the parts that are toxic. Imagine that you are combing them. Take out guilt, shame, learned fear, interpretations, etc. What is left is the pure power of emotions to propel you. What is left is your passion.

What you can do

When we take action against these learned limits of behavior or learned beliefs, these Emotional Undertow stirs up and pulls us back from the shore of our goals. We then need to use all we got to release that pull and move forward. Here are several things that help:

  • Feel what you feel. Give yourself time, space and permission to experience your emotion fully. Do not judge yourself. Do not badger yourself. Do not confuse yourself with your emotions. Seat with it, hold it. Feel it. Love yourself with it, through it and beyond it.
  • Do not identify with the emotions. Part of the problem is that as a child, you identify yourself with these overpowering emotions that ran through you. Now you can detach. Before allowing this Emotional Undertow to flow through you and experience these powerful emotions, seat breathing deeply for a few minutes, and feel your Core Self. This is your Soul-self. It holds your inner strength and wisdom. See it as an ancient tree that stands still in the midst of activity. Stand in the infinite power of your Soul and detach from the emotions as you feel them. This means that you allow yourself to feel them, but you don’t drown in them because you can observe them without confusing yourself with these old, learned emotions.
  • Self-parent yourself. One of the reasons this makes no sense to the adult you is because it is NOT the adult you who is carrying the Emotional Undertow. It is one or more of your Inner Children. Talk to them. Hold them in your arms. Listen to them and help them to FEEL loved, protected and ALLOWED to engage in the new behavior. This is a process, not a one shot deal.
  • You need to go within, recognize, clarify and release the learned beliefs and emotions in your unconscious. If you can’t find the hidden beliefs or emotions, or if they create undue anxiety, you can support your clearance process by:
  • Therapy
  • Working with a coach, spiritual teacher, shaman or minister
  • Meditation and reflection
  • Help from your spiritual guides
  • Reflection in nature, where the Sacred World will show you guidance
  • Journal writing
  • Shamanic Psychic Hunting.
  • Take action. Your emotions are learned signals from the past. Every time you take action, they subside a bit more. Eventually, the present results will override the past domestication and the emotions will go.
  • Get help and support. Whether a therapist, coach, support group or online community, you need the support of positive people to nourish the emotions that will build your Emotional Streams of Affluence, the positive emotional build up that carries you to your desired destiny.
  • Use a daily visualization practice or rituals that helps you transform the Emotional Undertow into Emotional Streams of Affluence. Try Shifting the World, a practice I teach in this blog.

Does this help? Let me know!

If you have any other question, feel free to ask it here, and I will gladly answer.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

RESOURCES

If you would like personal coaching, shamanic counseling or help in tracking down the source of your emotions, consider my coaching services at:

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/coaching.htm

For help on releasing, visit the Sonoma Method at:

http://www.sedona.com

For help transmuting emotions, releasing toxic beliefs and breaking through resistance in a gentle way, learn EFT. Get the free manual that explains the Emotional Freedom Technique here:

http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp

Love them, but leave them

Love them, but leave them

Releasing those who keep you trapped in the old world

Art by Maria Mar(c)2000

Art by Maria Mar(c)2000

Today I am writing about a painful subject. It is not easy to release habits. But when you realize that a friend you love, or an old client to whom you have dedicated lots of time, is keeping you spinning in old, harmful habits. What do you do?

I am talking about those moments in life when you have crossed the threshold into a new world. You left dysfunctional habits behind. You stepped into your dream. You released the thoughts and responses that were keeping you from being happy and fulfilling your potential.

You are now your dream, or closer to it than ever. In this new world, you feel the Essence of who you are. You are strong in your faith. You are nurturing your dream every day. You are sustaining your Dream Discipline, dedicating time and space to yourself and your dream. You have given yourself permission to be happy.

Many of the people who love you have understood that you changed. They have supported you in your dreams. They have been able to adapt to your new dynamics. By you changing your set of beliefs, thoughts and attitudes, your relationship with most people around you has improved greatly.

But there is this friend…

There is still this old client…

There are sometimes those who refuse to change because they are the slaves of the Dog of Habit. They allow the Dog of Habit to piss all over you and themselves. They chose not to change.

There are those who danced well with you when you did not set limits, when you caretook them in their every whim, when you kept giving when they were not receiving.

But the minute you set limits, stop caretaking and stand in your value, these people begin to escalate their old, dysfunctional behavior. This is their way of exerting control in a life that feels out of control. Your change feels to them as if they are losing control. They cannot honor your new dynamics. Basically, they do not fit in your new world.

What then?

People are not like a dress that you can take off. Love is not a habit that you can simply release, is it?

Well, sometimes it is.

We believe that friends are forever. This is not true. Love may be forever, but a friend may not. The love you have for a person, if it is true, if it has to do with their Essence, is eternal.

But what happens when that person herself does not honor her own Essence? Can you love her for the beauty of her soul when she is betraying that soul trying to control and manipulate others? When he is dishonoring that soul by being unfaithful or by being insensitive to others?

My answer is this. Love them, but leave them.

If you do not release these people in a good way, out of love, when there is still the possibility of simply moving away gently ~you may come to the point of a serious clash. Then you will have to leave in the middle of a fight or in a bitter way.

When someone you love is toxic to you, you need to release this person as an act of love for yourself and for him or her.

By toxic, I do not mean that they are finding it difficult to deal with your change. That’s normal. I don’t mean that they “make you” feel this or that way. No one “makes” you feel. That is giving your power away. If this is the case, assume the responsibility for your feelings, attitudes and responses.

What I mean by toxic is that they are not willing to respect your limits. Toxic to you are friends who repeatedly dishonor or betray you. Toxic are friends who play mind games. Toxic are people who are unwilling or unable to see how their acts affect others, how they are affecting you. Toxic people are blamers. They always have an excuse and a finger pointing somewhere else. There is no way that you can come to terms with people like that. You will be trying forever. Toxic are those who take, but do not receive. Toxic are those who take, but do not give.

Toxic people take you for granted. Their actions (and sometimes even their words) consistently reveal that they not value you. They put you down with words or actions. They make you invisible. They refuse to name the beauty and love you bring into their lives.

Toxic friends trample on your faith and speak only cynical words that take away all the magic and goodness in life.

Toxic friends may be charmers, but they cannot commit to love, to you or to their own words. These toxic friends do not know what they want. They keep asking for your help, only to drop the entire project the minute you committed your contacts or time to their support. You end up exhausted and your reputation is damaged with these toxic friends.

Toxic are people who begin a full-fledge war against your happiness, who do everything they can to bring you back to a place of suffering, so that you stay with them in their misery.

Toxic clients are those who keep asking for more and take everything, but do not RECEIVE it. Because they are not allowing the love in what you give to touch them, they do not FEEL the value of it. As a result, they always want more and nothing is enough. They do not value the gifts because in their emotional world, they have not let the gift in.

They do not trust or value your expertise. Because they do not value themselves, they distrust the value of anyone associated with them. Once they hire you, they do not value you. They will ask for others’ opinions and act on those opinions, even if these other people are not experts. They will not follow your counsel and when their actions lead them to failure, they will fail to see that it was not your counsel, but their stupidity that lead them to that end.

Toxic clients haggle about the price of your service. They pay late and come up with excuses. They do not do their work and then complain that your service is not working. They give you the materials late and procrastinate, so that you cannot fulfill your contract with them. Then they come back after the contract date is over and want you to be their time slave and keep on working for them.

It is hard to understand how saying goodbye can be an act of love. But if your love for another is betraying your love for yourself, then it will soon become poison, not love. The only loving thing to do is leave.

Most of us hold on to toxic love because we are afraid to be alone. We are afraid to be rejected. We are afraid to go out into a world full of strangers. Will we make new friends? Will they love us? So we stay in toxic relationships.

If you are facing such a relationship now, use the descriptions in this blog to evaluate it. Is this friend or client toxic? Is your love or loyalty for this person running against your loyalty and love for yourself?

If the answer is yes, love them, but leave them.

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Yes, I know it’s easier said than done. I’m not going to lie to you that it is easy. That’s why I am creating the Toxic Relations Self-help Kit to answer all your questions. You can pre-order it by clicking here. You can also take 2 minutes and contribute your voice and experience to the kit by answering the Toxic Relations survey (and get a $5 discount if you purchase.)

I see people running away from pain all the time. Most people do. They stay in miserable jobs, abusive relationships, diminishing friendships and tiny existential rooms… all because they are afraid of the pain they will experience if they choose to change. As a consequence, they experience a long, self-destructive, hard pain that increases as time goes by and eventually becomes disease, depression and despair. Running away from pain leads you directly towards harder, longer pain. Compare to that, the pain of change is but a fraction, and then freedom follows.

You are an atom in the divine body. You are a gift to the world. You’ve worked so hard to learn, heal and build a good live. Love yourself enough to walk away from that which diminishes you.

No one deserves that you betray your soul, your happiness and your potential. No one deserves that you go back to your old world, becoming a ghost just for them. That option is not love. It is not love for them. And it is certainly not love for yourself.

Maria Mar(c)

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DO NOT copy this article. If you want to use this article for your blog or ezine, please contact Maria Mar. The duplication quota for this article online has been reached. Email Maria for a re-make.

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Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

RESOURCES:

This is a good article by Guy Finley. It shows you how to recognize 4 types of toxic people.

http://stason.org/articles/life/self-growth/Stay-Away-From-These-Four-Types-of-Toxic-People.html

For more information, visit Guy at:

http://www.guyfinley.com

The Toxic Relationship Self-help Kit: Love them, but leave them.

Shifting your World for instant manifestation

Shifting the World

Beyond the Law of Attraction spins the Law of Alignment

By Maria Mar(c)

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

When you have a deep desire for something, but feel an equally strong sense of frustration at not having it, you are at a Dimensional Fork. The shaman sees you between two dimensions that open, like two roads, in front of you. This post gives you clear instructions on how to use this magical place of the Dimensional Fork to instantly manifest what you desire. It teaches you the practice of Shifting your World. For direct guidance and in-depth knowledge, pre-order the audio and ebook Shifting the Worlds or the Female Secrets in the Law of Attraction Audio Meditation Series.

Pre-order now. No pre-payment or obligation to purchase.

Pre-order now. No pre-payment or obligation to purchase.

As you stand in the Dimensional Fork, you see that in one dimension, the one that feels more real and solid right now, you lack what you desire (otherwise you would be enjoying it, not craving for it). Let’s call this the Dimension of Lack. In the other dimension, however, it already exists. You can’t see or experience this dimension yet because there is something stopping you. Perhaps fear, disbelief or old beliefs do not allow you to experience the Dimension of your Desire. But it’s there. You know this is true because of your feelings. Your Emotional Intelligence knows that this dimension is your true belonging. It pushes you, through your desire and longing, to seek it. That is why you find yourself in the Dimensional Fork.

The feelings in the Dimensional Fork are similar to catching a glimpse of your desire just ahead, but you seem to make the wrong turn and end up in a place of lack. Or you feel as if what you seek is right at the reach of your fingertips, but it slips away. These feelings indicate that you already attracted what you wanted. It is trying to get to you, but an energy misalignment prevents it from reaching you. If this is true for you now, you must step beyond the Law of Attraction into the Law of Alignment. You must align yourself with your dream.

The ebook that accompanies the Guided Audio Meditation includes a real life story of how I used this practice to instantly manifest a simple desire. If you practice Shifting the World in simple things, you will master the technique for more ambitious desires.

PRACTICE

FIRST PHASE: EMOTIONAL CHARGE

You need to move into the Dimensional Fork. As you can tell from the story, this happens when your desire stands up to your frustration, so that you are emotionally charged by BOTH. If you are not right now at a powerful charged situation, then evoke these emotions.

STEP 1: Evoke the emotions of the Dimension of Lack.

Situate the Dimension of Lack that you have experienced in the past, up ‘till now, to your left. It is your left road. (The left hand records the past.) Extend your left hand, closed in a fist, palm down. See and visualize the old reality as a road opening to your left.

A. EVOKE the experience of lack. See how you are living now without the object of your desire. Evoke the feelings of lack, including frustration, hunger, sadness, abandonment and any other feelings. See the Dimension of Lack playing in front of you, to your left. How does it feel and look?

B. ACCEPT your feelings of lack.

C. DETACH from these feelings.

D. SPIN THE ORBIT by concentrating on the energy frequency created by this old reality. Turn your fist 90 degrees and open it slightly, so that you form an O with your fingers, the tip of the thumb slight touching the tip of the index finger. Concentrate your attention on the energy spinning in this circle in your hand, until you can hear and feel it clearly.

E. RESONATE out loud by giving this frequency sound. Try to generate a sound that is as close to the spinning energy in your hand as it feels right. Listen to this resonance.

STEP 2:  Evoke the emotions of the Dimension of Desire.

Turn your attention to your right. Curl your right hand into a fist, palm down, and extend the arm. See the future you want as a road opening right now in front of you, to your right. This is the Dimension of Desire. (The right hand records the future.)

A. EVOKE the experience of what you want. Imagine it vividly. Touch it. See it. Smell it. Feel the feelings of fullness, satisfaction, joy, lovability, belonging, buoyancy, peace, harmony, wellbeing and other feelings that arise from this experience.

B. ACCEPT these as you watch the movie run in front of you, vividly depicting the reality in your Dimension of Desire.

C. DETACH from any feeling of longing or any other feeling that comes from NOT having this.

D. SPIN THE ORBIT by concentrating on the energy frequency created by this desired reality. Turn your fist 90 degrees and open it slightly, so that you form an O with your fingers, the tip of the thumb slight touching the tip of the index finger. Concentrate your attention on the energy spinning in this circle in your hand, until you can hear and feel it clearly.

E. RESONATE out loud by giving this frequency sound. Try to generate a sound that is as close to the spinning energy in your hand as it feels right. Listen to this resonance.

PHASE TWO: STAND AT THE PLACE OF PARADOX

The Dimensional Fork is a Place of Paradox because two seemingly opposite universes or forces are happening simultaneously.

Step 1: Consider the left road

See yourself standing at the Dimensional Fork. Spend a few minutes witnessing (in detachment) the Dimension of Lack. Concentrate on the frequency spinning in your left hand. Witness what this dimension is about, what it consists of.  Witness how you feel inside it. This witnessing may yield instant revelations as to what is creating the misalignment that keeps you trapped in the Dimension of Lack. You may feel or see some emotional attachment or habits that keep you there. Don’t expect anything, however. Trust the experience as it is.

Step 2: Consider the right road

Concentrate now on your extended right arm and the frequency spinning in your right hand. Spend a few minutes witnessing the Dimension of Desire.  Concentrate on the frequency spinning on your right hand. Immerse yourself in the feelings of this dimension as it is happening right now.

Do NOT allow yourself to fall into a hunger for this reality. If it is happening, there is no need to hunger for it. 

See what the Dimension of Desire is about, what it consists of. What makes it essential or desirable for you? What feelings and emotions does it create in you?

This witnessing may yield instant revelations as to what is creating the misalignment that does not allow the Dimension of Desire to get to you. You may see that there are certain fears or doubts holding you back. Sometimes we fear what we want as badly as we fear what we don’t want.  Simply witness whatever comes up. Don’t expect anything, however. Trust the experience as it is.

PHASE THREE: FREE CHOICE

Now that you stand in the Dimensional Fork, in a Place of Paradox, you can grasp all the dimensions of your present reality. Now you are the master, not the slave. You can choose freely.

Step 1: Leave the left road

Inhale deeply. As you open your left fist, exhale and release the Dimension of Lack. Withdraw all your emotions and attentions from it. Release all doubt and hunger. If you saw any attachment or habits, release them in exhalation. Turn your entire body to your right. Don’t look back.

Step 2: Take the right road

Inhale deeply. As you open the right fist, embrace the Dimension of Desire. Give all your attention and emotions to this reality. Release all doubt and fear and enjoy living in that dimension.

Concentrate on the frequency spinning on your right hand until you can feel it spinning up your arm and all around you. Knit the fingers of both hand together across your solar plexus, and enjoy the vibration of the Dimension of Desire. Immerse yourself in that vibrational frequency. Enjoy the feelings, vision and frequency in this dimension.

Feed this frequency with an Inner Smile. Allow this smile to emerge from deep within your heart up to your lips and shine through your eyes.

Feed this new frequency with feelings of gratitude, acceptance, trust and receptivity. Open your heart to the new allies and opportunities that will be magnetize by the resonance of this new frequency.

For a more detailed description, including how to sustain the new frequencey and use this as a ceremony, with the guided audio meditation, pre-order the upcoming product. No pre-payment or obligation.

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

Shifting the World, Guided Audio Meditation by Artist-shaman Maria Mar.

I love when you take one minute to comment on the posts. It lets me know that someone is benefiting from the tools I share.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

Is your soul screaming through your body?

Is your soul screaming through your body?

By Maria Mar ©

(artist-shaman)

If you are in this page, chances are that you were searching for an answer to some physical condition that is aching or disturbing you. You may have a strong intuition that this condition has a strong relation with emotions or stress you have been experiencing.

We are used to seeing the body as something other than the Self. Perhaps as a rental car that drives us back and forth or a cabin we inhabit. But the body is the Self. As my creative partner, Corazon Tierra, teaches, the BodySoul is the Self. The connection between body and soul runs deeper than our conscious mind can understand. Sometimes it bypasses our logical mind altogether.

While you may be exasperated by a physical manifestation that is painful or cumbersome, and you desperately want it to go away, it may actually be your ally. Here I share what I know about the wisdom and healing that may come from the experience of somatization.

As I am a shaman or soul healer, I am not talking from a medical perspective. I am sharing what I know from personal and professional experience in working with energy and emotions.

Somatization, as I define it, is the physical manifestation of emotional, spiritual and mental stress and imbalance that expresses itself in the body as disease or as a physical condition, including accidents, allergies and other conditions.

Here are a few conditions that I’ve seen or suffered. I connect each condition to the emotional, energy or spiritual source of the condition, and the lessons you may learn from it.

Though most conditions are expressions of energy and emotional patterns, once they are manifested physically, you need to treat them at a medical level. The table below is not a diagnosis tool. Seek expert medical diagnosis and follow your doctor’s advice. The information below may help you address the deeper causes to speed up recovery.

Condition Sources Lesson
Spasm Fear of moving beyond deeply rooted unconscious limits. Brings limiting beliefs embedded in the cells into the surface, to be melted away.
Twisted ankles Ambivalence, moving towards a direction that betrays your true needs and desires Makes you stay still and consider the direction your Soul wants you to take.
Fibroids, excessive bleeding Caretaking, stagnation of passion, pouring your energy into empty vessels Teaches you to save your energy and use it wisely and moves you to dance your passion for your own joy
Lumps in the throat Not speaking your truth, fear of assuming your authority, betrayal of your creative expression, refusal to sing your song. Shows you how you are betraying your personal truth, power or creativity and pushes you to express yourself, so that your beauty can shine into the world. May be guiding you to assume your power as a singer or a healer using sound.
Loss of voice, laryngitis Self-alienation, self-neglect, not knowing or telling your own story, using your voice as a mask or overworking your voice to silence your truth Teaches you to save your voice, go within, touch your truth and speak on your own behalf. May be guiding you into assuming your power as a storyteller.
Stomach aches Anxiety, ambivalence, resistance to change your lifestyle, something you can’t stomach in your life, refusal to feel and transform your emotions, fear connected to deep mental beliefs learned in childhood Moves you to deal with the emotional issues you are avoiding, to go within and get to know the stranger you call “I.” Makes you face the relationships or situations that you can’t stomach. Brings unconscious limiting beliefs to the surface to dissolve the limits that are keeping you away from your dream.
Migraines Anxiety, closing the heart chakra for fear of your heart breaking, self-abandonment that leaves no time for your soul in your life, refusal to take action on behalf of your heart or soul. Absorbing toxic emotions or refusing to release them. Teaches you to release toxic emotions and people, to achieve balance between self-love and love of others, to practice self-love, peace and relaxation every day for your own self-healing, and to take action in order to honor your soul and your feelings.

I hope that some of this helps you to understand the deeper issues involve in the conditions you are facing. For more information, I recommend Louis Hay’s books, as she is a master teacher of somatization and I have found many of her findings to be true. You will find a link to her website below.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

RESOURCES:

http://www.louisehay.com/

Here’s Louise Hay’s video on her Movie: You can heal your life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYCamVx4fSQ

Official website of You can heal your life:

http://www.youcanhealyourlifemovie.com/