Self-love. Is it possible?

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Self-love. Is it possible?

By Maria Mar(c)2009

Everyone talks about the importance of loving and accepting yourself. But that’s easier said than done. Thousands of good, loving people go through life beating themselves up constantly, carrying old shame and guilt and working hard without ever feeling that they’ve done enough. If you feel unlovable and have a a hard time forgiving yourself, or if you simply want to love yourself more, read on.

At the beginning of your life, you are in a magical state of innocence. You don’t know a thing about the world. You are dependent on others for your very life. You can’t talk or walk. Yet you don’t feel insufficient or defective. How’s that?

At that stage in your life, you are still connected to your Universal Self. Call it God, Cosmic Consciousness, Divine Intelligence or Oneness. You are in a state of Grace. To you, there is no separation between who you are and what you are feeling and the elements in nature and the energy world involved in the experience. You receive everything that happens with an open heart, unclouded by opinion, ideology, fear or judgment. This innocence allows you to learn quickly and easily. If you stumble and fall, you simply get up and keep going. If you hurt, you cry. If you are happy, you laugh. If you like something, you go for it. If you don’t like it, you move away. There is no opinion about the worth, goodness or badness of your emotions or experiences.

Later, you pick up on the opinions and judgments of your elders. You learn that what they dislike in your actions, translates in rejection or punishment for you. But your actions are not distinguished from you. When you cry, they say that YOU are weak. When you are angry and scream, they say that YOU are bad and nasty. If you fall, that is a mistake, and that means that YOU are stupid. All these labels and judgments get attached to your experience and emotions. But it goes deeper than that. They get attach to who you ARE. Your mistakes now stick to you like a stain, and each one makes you more undeserving and imperfect.

You are still carrying that stained film in the form of guilt, shame and insufficiency.

The Sacred Child in you, who lived in Oneness, got buried under all that burden. The way back to your innocence and self-love is the way to your Sacred Child.

What would you do with a little girl who, in making an honest mistake, began to cry and pull at her hair, screaming “I am bad. No one loves me. I am stupid.”

  • You would pick her up in your arms.

  • You would hug her lovingly.

  • You would make sure that she felt your unconditional love and acceptance.

  • You would tell her over and over that she is a perfect, beautiful being because she is made in the image of god, or is part of the Divine Consciousness.

  • You would tell her how much you love her and how she is so lovable, and remind her of the good things she’s done, and how she is kind and generous.

  • You would help her understand that mistakes are important steps in the discovery of solutions.

  • You would help her distinguish between making a mistake and BEING a mistake.

  • Finally, you would help her see how she is loved by you, others and the world.

Do the exact same thing for yourself. The path to self-love is self-mothering.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com