Celebrate the Love your Body Week with art and free resources

Hi, Beautiful sister,

Here are some gifts and resources to celebratr

Love your Body Day

End Fat Talk Week


Click to read more about the Swan Woman Bundle
Art by Maria Mar(c)2010.*

 


Love your Female Curves

 

I created this art to help you enjoy and celebrate the curves of your body. Do
you know that wide hips allow for better birthing process? Do you know that
men are hired wired to instinctively respond to those wide hips? ):

 

Don’t let anybody shame you for your curves, beautiful sister. You are a woman. You are curvy, ample, sensuous and voluptuous. Bravo for you! Know that this is sexy! Not so long ago women were adored for those curves. (Think Marilyn Monroe or Sophia Loren.) But as women became freer in our society, there was a backlash. Now that we had more freedom, the focus became in cutting off our curves. This is an inorganic, distorted, borrowed dream that turns your life into a nightmare. Wake up!

 

I see hatred towards the Sacred Feminine in a society that shames women’s
natural curves and promotes an obsession with being thin. There’s nothing
wrong with being thin if that’s natural to you. But to reject your women’s
curves and pursue an “ideal” body without curves is not healthy or happy for
you. This trend devalues our female essence and alienates us from the curvy,
sensual ecology of the Earth.

 


Please heal this obsession that is destroying women’s health and happiness.
Reclaim your sensuality and your curves. Below there are gifts and resources
to help you love your body and discover its power and delight.

 

I love you.

Thanks for being in my Circle of Service.

 

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Resources to Love your Body

Courtesy of the Dream Alchemist


Free Resources

Your Secret Healing Place

How your body heals itself

Free Podcast Interviews


Fetch the free interviews.
Art by Maria Mar(c)2010.*

 

I’m happy to announce that the interview series I did with the internationally
acclaimed healer Misa Hopkins, best-selling author of “The Root of All
Healing”
–is now available, for free! Join a series of deep conversations about the mysteries, wonders and power of your body to heal itself, to communicate your deepest truths and to guide you in your spiritual, personal and professional development.

 

This is not one of those get-a-tiny-sample-and-then-buy teleseminar. If you like insightful conversations, you will love this series. Misa and I delved deeply into our knowledge as healers. You get knowledge from not one, but two systems of self-healing! We share tools, experiences, humor and wisdom. A must hear if you or someone you love needs to learn how to activate the power of self-healing. And who doesn’t? ):

 


Clicking will take you to the iTunes page.

To download, you need iTunes.

You can download it in a couple of minutes.

 

To find more about Misa, visit this page


http://www.yoursecrethealingplace.com/misa.php

 

More Resources in English

 

Low Cost
Resources

Click graphic to read more.


 


Available as a gift certificate

 

Meet Swan Woman


Swan Woman
is the Power Self within you that intimately knows her
uniqueness, her beauty and her grace. She opens her wings and flies freely,
gracefully, in the moment, here now. These are the Five Agreements of
Swan Woman
:

 

  1. I love myself.

  2. I free my Grace.

  3. I enjoy my Beauty.

  4. I assume my power.

  5. I fully occupy my space.

 

I designed an easily downloadable bundle of products to help you as a woman to free the Swan Woman within yourself. It helps you:

 

  • Love your Body

  • Love your life and live it to the fullest

  • Take care of your wellbeing through relaxation and self-healing

  • Appreciate and irradiate your beauty.

  • Improve your posture to unleash your grace, beauty and power

  • Find inspiration to be all that you are

  • Grow your Self-love and practice self-acceptance.


Buy Express now!


Click button to buy express.


Only $20 USD

Immediate download of all parts


READ MORE

 


Includes: Swan Woman digital poster with the Five Agreements, Swan Woman
illustrated Posture Guide, Swan Woman: Love your Body, Love Yourself
Anthology with articles and daily practices, 30-day Love your Body
Meditations and Affirmations Ecourse, BONUS: Blessings for your body ebook,
from Corazon Tierra.

EN ESPAÑOL, for our Latina Sister

Ama tus Curvas 2010

Evento Virtual Gratis

 


Pulsa para unirte a la celebracion ama tus curvas 2010.

 

La experta en autoestima corporal Corazón Tierra celebra el día de “Love your Body” y “End Fat Talk Week” con su evento virtual “Ama tus Curvas 2010”, donde encontrarás una serie de regalos, artículos, poemas y arte que te inspira y motiva a amar tus curvas.

 


http://cuerpoadentro.wordpress.com/ama-tus-curvas/

 

 

 

* All art in this communication is copyright of Maria
Mar(c)2010. No downloading, reproduction or distribution
permitted.

 

 


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permission to-deserve-what-you-want

Give yourself the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed

 

This is a series of articles dedicated to helping women give ourselves the 7 Basic Permissions to succeed. Scroll down to subscribe to entire series in an Ebook Series that will be sent to your email, one ebook a month, for easy digestion.

Note: This post is an update from the previous post by the same name. I tried to include the first article here, but it was too long and the continuation links got broken. Sorry about that. I’ve taken care of this by updating the article to a shorter version and providing the ebook series for those who can benefit from more detail. Thanks for your patience, and enjoy the article below, which has some new insights.

 

ARTICLE 1:

Give yourself the Permission to DESERVE what you want

 

First permission to succeed: Permission to deserve what you want

First permission to succeed: Permission to deserve what you want

 

I’m talking on the phone with a great international artist. I congratulate her on the success of her current exhibition. Suddenly I hear a shocking confession.

“Yes, I know. It’s been well received. But you know what? I really do not FEEL like a success.”

As a soul healer and shaman, I am a psychic huntress. I track down patterns of energy not only in individuals, but in groups. For months now I’ve been on the scent of a mortal enemy of women’s success and wellbeing.

This enemy brings a scent of despair and diminishes a woman’s intrinsic value. It minimizes her contributions. It transforms a woman’s self- perception from success to insufficiency.

The Question

I’m chatting with a friend in a café. This is a woman who I admire, love and respect. She is a cultural leader, an exquisite poet and a college professor. She acknowledges that she is not working in the way she wants, not living her potential to its fullest. The obstacles seem insurmountable and she feels trapped.

I went home and hunted down the unasked question in the conversation.

“Why is it so hard for me to do what I want to do?”

The Answer

The long history of denial that women have experienced collectively is embedded in the individual energy patterns of each woman.  The problem is not that we consciously rate ourselves as a failure. Most of the women I interviewed knew the objective value of their achievements.

Women not give themselves emotional permission to succeed. The denial to succeed is subconscious, emotional and implicit. This denial works as a hidden interference to our conscious intent to create a fulfilling life.

The Underbelly of Success

The stories that we tell ourselves are rarely the real story. When we tell ourselves the reasons why we can’t do what we want to do, we focus on external circumstances, usually having to do with how giving to others take precedence over our own desires. But that is a lie we’ve been told and we keep telling ourselves.

If we look at the underbelly of success, however, it is rarely about circumstances and much more about permissions. It is about giving ourselves the emotional and spiritual permissions to be, have, create and enjoy what we desire.

Women need to restore the energy gateways for these permissions. They are not built-in, as is usually the case in most men, who have been socialized for centuries in the belief that they are made to achieve things in the world.

Many of us unwittingly fall into the role of victim, in spite of being powerful women, often leaders and high achievers. We do this by pitting our right to succeed against the wellbeing of our loved ones. Guilt is the glue that keeps us stuck, though we rarely recognize its scent in our self-sacrifice.

Why does an accomplished writer, artist, expert or leader who has taught, guided, helped and empowered hundreds of people feel unsuccessful? Because she is serving others in ways that do not fulfill her Soul’s needs. Success needs to be measured by the degree of fulfillment of your Soul, not by social criteria seen from outside the Self. I call this Success with Soul.

Many spiritual paths tell you that you are here to serve others, not for yourself. I disagree. We came here for our own evolution. That is not in opposition to love or service. We are one. You are a mirror to me and part of me. When you honor your essence, you give me permission to honor mine. The war between self and others is part of the selflessness myth that has limited women for centuries.

But there is something else.

For centuries we have sustained community, nourished families and transformed societies without as much as a thank you. We have gotten used to trying harder and giving more. We are seeking perfection as the gateway to give ourselves permission to succeed.

If we have achieved mastery of our creativity, but are not yet prosperous, we feel that we have failed.  If we have achieved prosperity, but do not have a love partner, we again feel that we are not that much of a success. We throw away the baby with the basinet, so to speak.

Why is it so hard to give yourself what you want?

1.       Because you believe that if you are happy, someone will suffer. For centuries, you’ve been sold in the definition of love as self-sacrifice.

2.       Because your relationship, empathic and nurturing gifts have been historically pitted against you. The training you’ve received on how to be a mother, friend, daughter or caregiver is to give by cutting off pieces of yourself. But you cannot subtract from what you don’t have.

3.       Because you believe that you are not good enough to have what you want. You believe that if you take care of others first, then and only then will you deserve the right to have what you want.

Here’s a solution you can try at home to create new gateways to give yourself permission to succeed.

Make a list of seven things that make you happy or that your body and soul need right now. These things need to be small enough that they are doable now, but challenging enough that you have not given yourself these things in a long time. For the next seven weeks, give yourself one of these things once a week.

Examples:

  • Take a day off and go to a SPA to get a massage.
  • Give yourself a warm food bath with salts before going to bed.
  • Spend a week-end in a retreat to rest and relax.
  • Take a creative workshop to learn or improve one of your talents.
  • Write a poem or create a song expressing your Unique Essence.
  • Dance under the moon.

Offer your happiness as a gift to the world.

—-The End—-

Copyright Maria Mar©2010.

 

RESOURCES: FREE!
Give yourself the 7 Basic Permissions to Succeed

Ebook Series

I have compiled the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed in a series of free ebooks. To immediately enjoy the first ebook and be notified of the other six ebooks in the series, which will come out once a month, subscribe here.

 

“I want to Flourish!”

Online Fiesta

Enjoy free videos, gifts and prizes in the “I Want to Flourish” Online Fiesta, helping you to release the hidden interference to your success. Click here.

 

I want to flourish fiesta offers you free videos, gifts and prizes to help you get unstuck and flourish.

The Success Seed

Success-Gardening Kit

Transform your daily experience of success with this profound journey that helps you redefine success in every atom of your body.

  • Connect to your higher self.
  • Align with your infinite potential.
  • Remember your life purpose.
  • Recall your Unique Essence.
  • Discover your Personal Strengths.
  • Unbury your Karmic Gifts.
  • Learn how the wounds you’ve inherited can become your Secret Tools for Mastery
  • Obtain the seven spiritual measures of success.

Three audio meditations that take you in a shamanic journey of deep transformation and healing, plus ebook with daily practices and meditations and a bonus ebook series, Give yourself the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed. READ MORE.

 

First audio free!

Limited time offer

The Success Seed Gardening Kit is a profound journey that awakens you to the success you already are.

 

 

Authors Bio:

Maria Mar is an author, poet, healer and spiritual teacher whose life mission is to inspire you to achieve personal freedom, unlock your creative potential and live a life of magic and delight. A PBS-featured performer and visual artist, Maria has freed her vast creative potential and helps you do the same, designing a life and work experience that fulfills your soul’s purpose. Maria marries her artistry and imagination with her wisdom and energy tools as a shaman to offer powerful tools for self-transformation, healing and manifestation. If you are interested in mentoring with Maria Mar, visit http://www.dreamalchemist.com.

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Share your Sweet Spot!

Oh, lala! My Sweet Spot!

I participate in a journal writing membership at http://journal.journalengine.com. Some time ago the facilitator, Marc Manieri, asked us to identify our Sweet Spots.

As I remember, Marc defines our Sweet Spots as those organic strong places within us, those things we love and give us joy, those things we would do whether they paid us or not. I found the practice of recognizing my Sweet Spots as a great self-love and self-esteem booster, so I recommend you try it!

I want to share my Sweet Spots with you today.

I am an inspirer. Inspiration is my Sweet Spot.

Sometimes inspiration is poetry. Written poetry. I become a mermaid and dive into the depth of existence to bring back to the surface the treasures of life.

I have one book of poetry that I am preparing in English. It is called The Tao of Trees. This is about the poems and teachings given to me by the trees. When I was sick some years ago, the trees healed me and they gave me these beautiful meditations in poetry about life. I am preparing that book with the audio and the illustrations capturing the energy presence of the trees. WOW! That’s a beautiful journey.

I also have several other unpublished books of poetry. One of them is my next book in Spanish. It is entitled El Duende en los Ojos. “El Duende” is the spirit of Flamenco, the Spirit of art as Lorca, the great poet, described it. El Duende is cousin of The Muses, if you get what I mean.

The poems in this collection I am creating awaken the spirit of life for people to romance their lives. Don’t you see why I simply loooove this?

There is the spoken poetry in literary readings. I also love to inspire via audio. I like to create audio experiences to heal, inspire and help you transform your life easily, deeply and gracefully. Check out my audios at:

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/audios.htm

Then there is the Dance-poetry performances. Here I become fire, warm and dancing, to speak the language of passion.

I combine dance, performance, theatre and sometimes visual arts to embody a revelation, story or poem. I loooove doing this. In the rehearsals, I grow, heal and evolve deeply. In the performances, people go into deep healing and transformation. These are ceremonies in the tradition of the old shamans who danced and drummed, but within contemporary life. Powerful stuff!

Check my current performance, called LifeBites, because I take daily problems that people are having and create a performance to present the problem and then move people towards the solution.

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/lifebites.htm

Then there is the Ceremonial Poetry. I love to do ceremonial poems! They engage people into journeying through the poem as a ceremony or rites of passage. They are fantastic! I do them for opening ceremonies, speaking engagements and even in literary readings. See my current Ceremonial Poetry.

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/speaker-mariamar-poetry-dreamsarenevertiny.htm

Sometimes inspiration is a thought, an insight. Here I meditate and empty my mind. I become air.

I offer daily inspiration in my Facebook profile. If you are in Facebook, befriend me at:

http://www.facebook.com/DreamAlchemist

Then you will be regaled with my daily tips, inspiration, practices, meditations and more.

I also post daily inspiration and tips in this blog:

http://www.dreamalchemist.wordpress.com

I also go off the radar when I am doing visual art. I become light and color.

I simply merge with Oneness and go swimming in the pool of delight. Want to see one of my art pieces?

See my collection of original art digital posters here:

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/screensaver_art.htm

Now I’m hooked in inspiring through video presentations. My upcoming video blog will feature many of them! If you want to receive the video blog via email, subscribe here:

http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=UnstuckYourself&loc=en_US

Finally, I go deep down into the depth of earth and the human soul when I write prose, whether it is fiction or non-fiction.

I write in my blog every week. Read some of it here:

http://www.dreamexpress.wordpress.com

So what is left?

I love to do ceremony. Spiritual ceremony, with music (like drumming, Yeepeee!), crystals, dancing, chanting, and I go off and my mind becomes the sky and I am healed, expanded, transcended. I fly.

And then, there is spiritual teaching.

When I am with someone guiding them, supporting them, I become a clear channel for Divine energy, and it flows through me, and I can see and touch beyond my limits. Doing this I grow and deepen my being and connect to many dimensions beyond the solid. It is the experience of greatness.

I am right now opening a one-year mentorship to place all my “Sweet Spots” at the service of 10 women. These women will have me as their “Break-free Mama” helping them every day to break free from past limitations, release hidden interferences, free their Unique Essence, live creatively and unleash their greatness. I will help them address their current problems and design a life and/or work experience that creates their dream right here, right now. Interested? Check it out at:

http://www.dreamalchemist.com

I can truly say that I have so many sweet spots that I am like a great 85% cocoa organic chocolate bar! (I have a  friend who says that good chocolate is not really that sweet. But no matter, it’s heavenly!)

Thanks for asking this question, Marc. It brought me great delight. I now I ask you, beautiful readers, what is YOUR Sweet Spot? Leave your comments below.

Light and love,
Maria Mar
The Dream Alchemist
http://www.dreamalchemist.com

RESOURCES

If you’d like to join Marc’s free journal writing course, go to:

http://journal.journalengine.com.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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—-THE END—-

How can I overcome low self-esteem?

LifeByte #4

How can I overcome low self-esteem

Question:

How can I overcome low self-esteem?

Asked by: Sherley

Answer:

Understand that the universe does not create anything unnecessary. The lowly worm helps break down the humus. The soil is loosened and mixed as the earthworm burrows through the ground. Thus, the worm is the great harvester of the tall trees and all that grows from the soil! Why would you be the only being without purpose or value on this universe?

Seen from this perspective, NOT to hold yourself in high esteem is an act of arrogance. You are judging that Earth Mother, that God or the Universal Consciousness, created something that is of no value just because you do not see the value in it.

Low self-esteem is learned. You were born being in touched with the stars, and knowing your place among them. Low self-esteem is a raggedy dress that others dumped over your radiance with their comments and put down. You have the power to release it.

“Yes, but how?” You are asking.

Use the power of your emotional Lighthouse.

Just as a lighthouse illuminates the ocean waters to bring ships to safe harbor, your emotions can illuminate your basic goodness to bring you to center and out of the Domestication Trance that stole your radiance consciousness.

Here’s how.

  1. Instead of attaching your emotions to your learned habit of berating your own worth, shift into this reflection any time you feel a low self-esteem attack coming.

“Sacred Universe (or God, Goddess, Earth Mother), every being you create has a purpose in the evolution of this universe. I am listening and seeing to discover the purpose you intend with my creation and existence. I open my heart that you may ignite my love for the unique being you created in me.”

2. Instead of judging yourself, look at both, your strength and weaknesses, your successes and failures, as part of the training that the Universe is giving you to prepare you for that purpose.

3. Instead of giving in to the illusion of worthlessness or insufficiency, shift into seeing yourself as the Universal Mother sees you: her radiant child, born of her to bring a gift to the world. Concentrate on this gift and release the illusion.

For more information, see the resources below.

Tool:

Digital Self-love Ceremony

This ceremony in a package contains an ebook, audio meditation and two posters for visual meditation that together comprise a ceremony to enhance self-love. If you want a gentle, but quick experience that can nourish self-love without being hard work, this is it.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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The fuel for holiday celebrations is self-love

Dear beautiful sisters and handsome brothers, here’s a thought and some tools to enrich your Holidays. Love, Maria Mar

Click on banner to save yourself shopping-related stress

and send a gift of self-love to a friend.

Your experience of the beauty and perfection of this moment is colored by your capacity to feel full, deep, unconditional love for yourself. Without this self-love, you will judge yourself based on what you have or have achieved or on your expectations. To live fully and celebrate fully, love yourself fully.

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Awaken your Self-love!

During the end of the year it is natural to review what we have achieved or to take a look at how we did in the past months.

Now more than ever it is essential that during this time you flood yourself in self-love.

I have created the Awaken the Rose Self-love Collection to help you and your loved ones do just that.

There are three other Self-love Collections for you in our Holiday Gifts of Self-love sales.

  • Close 2009 and open 2010 in a state
    of self-love.
  • Enjoy an instant change of mood that ignites your Holiday Spirit.
  • Grow YOUR self-love! When you buy a Gift Certificate, you get your gift FREE!
  • Stick to your budget. Gifts from $5 to $40.
  • Save money. No shipping & handling. No transportation. No delivery fee. No wrapping paper.
  • Save time. No stressful lines. No crowded shopping. Immediate download.
  • Go Green! Save TREES!

Enjoy stress-free shopping. Go now to Holiday Gifts of Self-love!

Wishing you a joyful Holiday,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

P.S. 1.

This is the first in a Holiday Gifts of Self-love Series of inspirational tips and featured products to enrich your Holiday experience.

Holiday Gifts of Self-love

Publishing and Productions, Inc.

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Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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Book Review: Love your Body, Love your Life

BOOK REVIEW

by Maria Mar

the Dream Alchemist

Love your Body, Love your Life, by Sarah Maria

 

BOOK: Love your Body, Love your Life:

5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidentially

AUTHOR: Sarah Maria

 

 

Why is the Dream Alchemist reviewing this book? Why should I read it?

There is a lot of talk about “having a Dream” and manifesting it. The Law of Attraction has become almost an obsession in our popular psyche. But as a manifestation expert and shaman, I can assure you that “having a dream” is the easiest way to miss it. There is only one way to manifest your dream, and that is to BE your Dream. To embody it.

How can you embody your dream, however, if you are out of your body?

When you reject your body because it is not the perfect “ideal” body that you’ve come to believe you must have, then you are evicted from the first territory of your physical existence. Your body anchors you in the physical world. Negative Body Image throws away that anchor and evicts you from your body into the shadowlands of self-loathing.

Your body is intimately connected to your Soul, the holder of your Dream. Without your BodySoul, you have no compass to manifest your dream. You may try hard, do a lot, recite affirmations and try to change your thoughts. But nothing will work. Your actions are empty shells without power. Why?

Because the power that animates your intent is not there. Your Intent is the bow that sends the arrow of your Dream into the world. Your Intent comes from your BodySoul.

Reclaiming your love for your self is the first step to reclaim the power of your intent. Reclaiming your love for your body is the basic step to love yourself.

What is so hot about this book? Will I like it?

Sarah Maria’s “Love Love your Body, Love your Life: 5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidentially” is a soul-awakening journey to reclaim the love for your body and for yourself.

What I like about Sarah Maria’s book is that it addresses and integrates all the essential aspects in reclaiming your body: mind, emotions, body and spirit. The book inspires and motivates you. This enables you to activate the deep reserve of wisdom and courage in your spirit. It ignites the intuitive and instinctual power of your body. Then Sarah Maria guides your mind through simple, down to earth explanations and exercises. She addresses the transformational power of your emotions through stories and attitude shifting exercises.

We are all shapeshifters. We have the power to shift our reality. But in this society, we are using this power against ourselves: trying to shapeshift into something or someone else in order to deserve happiness or to fulfill our dreams.

Sarah Maria’s book allows you to use your shapeshifting power to liberate yourself, to BE you. This allows you to live from that real, unique and joyful place called YOU. Once you are there, you don’t need to have the dream because you ARE the dream!

Here’s another reason to get this book now:

I love this book so much that I contributed a gift ebook to Sarah Maria’s special “Rapid Success Gift Package” — a package of bonuses from experts who will help you to manifest the life you want. Sarah Maria added about 165 expert products that you can obtain free when you purchase THIS WEEK. (Week starting November 2, 2009)

Recommended:

**** 4 stars= Excellent read and excellent transformational tool

Read more about the book or purchase it at:

http://www.sarahmaria.com/

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Are you a toxic magnet?

Are you a Toxic Magnet?

By Maria Mar(c)2009

Excerpt from

Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them

Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course

Are you signaling toxic people that you are a willing prey?

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Are you an unwilling, unconscious magnet for toxic people? If you often find yourself dealing with toxic people or if the effects of toxic encounters affect you more and for a longer time than they affect others, then you may be a Toxic Magnet.

Just because you have a couple of toxic relationships that need addressing or because you know some toxic people does not mean that you are a Toxic Magnet. Toxic people are everywhere. You are bound to meet a couple of every month, at least. Whether you hook up with them or not is another matter.

But if you often suffer from the anxiety, emotional torture and negative drama that toxic people generate, then you may want to examine if you are a Toxic Magnet.

This mini self-assessment is an excerpt from Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them, a digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course that helps you understand, transform and release the toxic relationships in your life.

To establish your Primary Emotional Response Pattern, in the list below, check any feelings that arise from your toxic encounter. Address one encounter at a time.

SECTION A

___  I keep thinking that I’ve done something wrong and keep trying to come up with another way of responding, but everything fails.

___   I feel guilty when I tell the person how I feel or when I set limits.

___  I feel hurt and sad. I want the person to tell me that she loves me and accept me as I am.

SECTION B

___    I want to win. I want her to apologize and accept that she is wrong. I keep bring up evidence and arguments, but she won’t give in.

___    I feel trapped and frustrated. I can’t find a way to get a win-win solution. Everything I say is misinterpreted and I am at the end of my wit.

___    I wrap myself in patience and try to address each complaint. But the complaints never seize and it’s frustrating.

SECTION C

___    I feel that I am more mature and healthy than this person and should be able to address the situation in an effective way.

___    I allow the person to rant and rave or do her acting out. I feel like a mother waiting for a kid to finish a tantrum.

___    I speak to her as to a child, softly and calmly. I listen attentively and then ask questions.

SECTION D

___    I feel exhausted. I am drained of all energy. I feel unable to continue with this dynamic, and at the same time, I am scared of what she might do if I do not continue.

___    My overwhelming feeling is fear. Fear that I may be fired, that I will be judged, that I will be exposed or hurt. I feel intimidated.

___    I can’t find my voice. I want to scream or confront the person, but I get a lump in my throat.

SECTION E

___    I want to go away and avoid the whole thing because it causes too much anxiety.

___    I go away emotionally. I feel frozen or paralyzed or simply disappear and show up when it’s all over.

___    I am shocked. I can’t believe it. It all becomes a blur.

Look at the section that has the most checks. That’s your Primary Emotional Response Patterns.

Section A= Defective

Section B=Fixer

Section C=Saint

Section D=Follower

Section E=Sleepwalker

Types of Toxic Magnets

We humans are complex beings. Once you have dived into the infinite layers of the subconscious, you learn that we are as vast as all universes existing throughout eternity.

Therefore, the types that are presented in this self-assessment barely scratch the surface of your Toxic Magnet behaviors and beliefs. Furthermore, you will rarely fit only in one Toxic Magnet Type.

However, recognizing your Primary Emotional Responses allows you to spot how a specific toxic person or situation triggers a specific type of Toxic Magnet response in you. Since you cannot change the other, but you can change your responses, this information empowers you to change the responses that keep you hooked in the Toxic Dance.

Section A: The Defectives

If you checked a majority of items in Section A, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Defectives. The Defectives secretly feel defective, damaged, less than others or insufficient. They seek to gain value by giving, being good, serving others, placating or appeasing or by playing second best.

If you fit this profile, this does not mean that you ARE defective. It means that the Ugly Duckling is alive somewhere in your psyche, stealing the majestic Swan you truly are. This hooks you up with toxic people, who are big blamers. Their blaming triggers your secret feelings of not being enough and keeps you hooked in the Toxic Dance.

Section B: The Fixers

If you checked a majority of items in Section B, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Fixers. The Fixers need something or someone to fix in order to distract themselves from their own issues. They have inherited an emotional belief that they cannot be loved unless they give others what they want, unless they are needed, in control or perfect.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a control freak and want to fix everyone ―though this may also be true. It means that when a toxic person complaints or blame others or a situation for their actions, you get hooked trying to solve the problem and that fixing obsession keeps you in the Toxic Dance.

Section C: The Followers

If you checked a majority of items in Section C, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Followers. The Followers learned to blend with the wall paper in order to avoid conflict or abuse. They focus on others to gain their support and avoid decisions, risks or responsibility. They are afraid to assume their power or leadership or to speak their truth.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a coward who is easily bullied. It means that when a toxic person displays intimidating behavior, you may be unable to stand up to this person. You may freeze, lose your voice or give in to avoid conflicts. By giving in, you stay in the Toxic Dance.

Section D: The Saints

If you checked a majority of items in Section D, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Saints. The Saints believe that they have to sacrifice in order to deserve a place in the world. They also believe that to gain heaven or spiritual evolution, they need to sacrifice their own desires, happiness and sometimes even their wellbeing.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a goody-two-shoes who can’t stand up for herself. It means that when a toxic person trespasses your personal boundaries, you are going to use inappropriate compassion to enable their inappropriate behavior. By sacrificing your personal needs and not prioritizing your own feelings and desires, you get pulled into the Toxic Dance

Section E: The Sleep-walkers

If you checked a majority of items in Section E, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Sleep-Walker. The Sleep-Walkers “go away” at the least sign of danger, confrontation or risk. They may do this by disconnecting emotionally or mentally from the situation, literally leaving, “switching off” or using an addictive behavior or substance.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE Sleeping Beauty personified ―though you should track down how pervasive this reaction is in your life. It means that when a toxic person discharges their toxic energy or creates conflicts, you will not be able to take effective action because you will fall into the sleeping trance, which keeps you in the Toxic Dance.

I hope that in recognizing the role you may play in attracting, hooking up with or allowing the toxic behavior, you have realized to what measure you may be a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you avoid your responsibility and are afraid of assuming your Personal Power, in that measure you become a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you are not willing to see what you see, in which you avoid the truth and try to change, appease or follow others to avoid confrontation, in that same measure your become a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you see what you see, take responsibility for your choices and assume your Personal Power, in that same measure you signal to toxic people that you are not prey.

In the measure in which you honor your truth, release control over others and stand as your self-authority, in that same measure you are free from the hooks and attachments that keep people in the Toxic Dance.

The END

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You can use this article in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar(c)2009. Maria Mar is a writer, inspirational speaker and poet, a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman. Maria helps people understand and release toxic relationships in the Toxic
Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them
Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course


Love them, but leave them

Love them, but leave them

Releasing those who keep you trapped in the old world

Art by Maria Mar(c)2000

Art by Maria Mar(c)2000

Today I am writing about a painful subject. It is not easy to release habits. But when you realize that a friend you love, or an old client to whom you have dedicated lots of time, is keeping you spinning in old, harmful habits. What do you do?

I am talking about those moments in life when you have crossed the threshold into a new world. You left dysfunctional habits behind. You stepped into your dream. You released the thoughts and responses that were keeping you from being happy and fulfilling your potential.

You are now your dream, or closer to it than ever. In this new world, you feel the Essence of who you are. You are strong in your faith. You are nurturing your dream every day. You are sustaining your Dream Discipline, dedicating time and space to yourself and your dream. You have given yourself permission to be happy.

Many of the people who love you have understood that you changed. They have supported you in your dreams. They have been able to adapt to your new dynamics. By you changing your set of beliefs, thoughts and attitudes, your relationship with most people around you has improved greatly.

But there is this friend…

There is still this old client…

There are sometimes those who refuse to change because they are the slaves of the Dog of Habit. They allow the Dog of Habit to piss all over you and themselves. They chose not to change.

There are those who danced well with you when you did not set limits, when you caretook them in their every whim, when you kept giving when they were not receiving.

But the minute you set limits, stop caretaking and stand in your value, these people begin to escalate their old, dysfunctional behavior. This is their way of exerting control in a life that feels out of control. Your change feels to them as if they are losing control. They cannot honor your new dynamics. Basically, they do not fit in your new world.

What then?

People are not like a dress that you can take off. Love is not a habit that you can simply release, is it?

Well, sometimes it is.

We believe that friends are forever. This is not true. Love may be forever, but a friend may not. The love you have for a person, if it is true, if it has to do with their Essence, is eternal.

But what happens when that person herself does not honor her own Essence? Can you love her for the beauty of her soul when she is betraying that soul trying to control and manipulate others? When he is dishonoring that soul by being unfaithful or by being insensitive to others?

My answer is this. Love them, but leave them.

If you do not release these people in a good way, out of love, when there is still the possibility of simply moving away gently ~you may come to the point of a serious clash. Then you will have to leave in the middle of a fight or in a bitter way.

When someone you love is toxic to you, you need to release this person as an act of love for yourself and for him or her.

By toxic, I do not mean that they are finding it difficult to deal with your change. That’s normal. I don’t mean that they “make you” feel this or that way. No one “makes” you feel. That is giving your power away. If this is the case, assume the responsibility for your feelings, attitudes and responses.

What I mean by toxic is that they are not willing to respect your limits. Toxic to you are friends who repeatedly dishonor or betray you. Toxic are friends who play mind games. Toxic are people who are unwilling or unable to see how their acts affect others, how they are affecting you. Toxic people are blamers. They always have an excuse and a finger pointing somewhere else. There is no way that you can come to terms with people like that. You will be trying forever. Toxic are those who take, but do not receive. Toxic are those who take, but do not give.

Toxic people take you for granted. Their actions (and sometimes even their words) consistently reveal that they not value you. They put you down with words or actions. They make you invisible. They refuse to name the beauty and love you bring into their lives.

Toxic friends trample on your faith and speak only cynical words that take away all the magic and goodness in life.

Toxic friends may be charmers, but they cannot commit to love, to you or to their own words. These toxic friends do not know what they want. They keep asking for your help, only to drop the entire project the minute you committed your contacts or time to their support. You end up exhausted and your reputation is damaged with these toxic friends.

Toxic are people who begin a full-fledge war against your happiness, who do everything they can to bring you back to a place of suffering, so that you stay with them in their misery.

Toxic clients are those who keep asking for more and take everything, but do not RECEIVE it. Because they are not allowing the love in what you give to touch them, they do not FEEL the value of it. As a result, they always want more and nothing is enough. They do not value the gifts because in their emotional world, they have not let the gift in.

They do not trust or value your expertise. Because they do not value themselves, they distrust the value of anyone associated with them. Once they hire you, they do not value you. They will ask for others’ opinions and act on those opinions, even if these other people are not experts. They will not follow your counsel and when their actions lead them to failure, they will fail to see that it was not your counsel, but their stupidity that lead them to that end.

Toxic clients haggle about the price of your service. They pay late and come up with excuses. They do not do their work and then complain that your service is not working. They give you the materials late and procrastinate, so that you cannot fulfill your contract with them. Then they come back after the contract date is over and want you to be their time slave and keep on working for them.

It is hard to understand how saying goodbye can be an act of love. But if your love for another is betraying your love for yourself, then it will soon become poison, not love. The only loving thing to do is leave.

Most of us hold on to toxic love because we are afraid to be alone. We are afraid to be rejected. We are afraid to go out into a world full of strangers. Will we make new friends? Will they love us? So we stay in toxic relationships.

If you are facing such a relationship now, use the descriptions in this blog to evaluate it. Is this friend or client toxic? Is your love or loyalty for this person running against your loyalty and love for yourself?

If the answer is yes, love them, but leave them.

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Yes, I know it’s easier said than done. I’m not going to lie to you that it is easy. That’s why I am creating the Toxic Relations Self-help Kit to answer all your questions. You can pre-order it by clicking here. You can also take 2 minutes and contribute your voice and experience to the kit by answering the Toxic Relations survey (and get a $5 discount if you purchase.)

I see people running away from pain all the time. Most people do. They stay in miserable jobs, abusive relationships, diminishing friendships and tiny existential rooms… all because they are afraid of the pain they will experience if they choose to change. As a consequence, they experience a long, self-destructive, hard pain that increases as time goes by and eventually becomes disease, depression and despair. Running away from pain leads you directly towards harder, longer pain. Compare to that, the pain of change is but a fraction, and then freedom follows.

You are an atom in the divine body. You are a gift to the world. You’ve worked so hard to learn, heal and build a good live. Love yourself enough to walk away from that which diminishes you.

No one deserves that you betray your soul, your happiness and your potential. No one deserves that you go back to your old world, becoming a ghost just for them. That option is not love. It is not love for them. And it is certainly not love for yourself.

Maria Mar(c)

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DO NOT copy this article. If you want to use this article for your blog or ezine, please contact Maria Mar. The duplication quota for this article online has been reached. Email Maria for a re-make.

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Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

RESOURCES:

This is a good article by Guy Finley. It shows you how to recognize 4 types of toxic people.

http://stason.org/articles/life/self-growth/Stay-Away-From-These-Four-Types-of-Toxic-People.html

For more information, visit Guy at:

http://www.guyfinley.com

The Toxic Relationship Self-help Kit: Love them, but leave them.

Female Secrets in the Law of Attraction-Help your Dream to Walk

Female Secrets in the Law of Attraction

No. 4: Teaching your Toddler Dream to Walk!

By Maria Mar©

Author of the

Dream Kit

Article Series:

If you are a woman, you are an expert in making dreams come true. If you don’t believe it, ask your children, whom you have helped from birth on to flourish. Ask your life partner, whom you support in his or her dreams. Ask your students, nieces and nephews, your clients, patients and neighbors. You can even ask the plants in your garden! In fact, ask anyone around you and chances are, you have helped and support each and every one of them to grow.

Why should you have any difficulty in manifesting YOUR dream? Use the same organic gifts you use for supporting others! Here is a Female Secret in the Law of Attraction that will help you get that dream on the road.

This article is part of a series that shares 4 Female Secrets in the Law of Attraction. The previous articles help you gestate, birth and breastfeed your dream.

If you want all the articles together, with recommended resources to make them work for you, join the FREE level of the Dream Express membership for women who want to manifest their dreams, and you will get the free ebook, Sneak Preview to the Female Secrets in the Law of Attraction.

If you’ve done your gestating, birthing and breastfeeding work, your dream has grown from the times you were daydreaming. Now it is part of your life. You feed it every day and it grows. Your next challenge is to help it walk. It needs to go with you wherever you go. But more to the point, it needs to take you where you want to go!

How does a dream walk? When you are teaching your beautiful child or baby niece to walk, don’t you often stand on one place and have another adult; the father or aunt, for example, stand on the other end? Then the other person invites the child to move forward while you safely coach and sustain the little one, in case it wavers.

That’s exactly what you will do now. Use the Female Secret of Cooperation. The Universe flows this way, through cooperation. As a woman, you master cooperation in sisterhood, family and community. The Male Way is competition. It is a legitimate way, and there is competition in the universe. But the principle that quickens your manifestation is cooperation. It is also an organic way for you as a woman. So how does it work?

Who are your allies? Who stands at a distance of five miles, file degrees of separation or five calls away that could invite and entice your dream forward?

Let’s list some examples.
• You want to promote your new book or product. Five degrees of separation away there is a woman with a radio show with just the right audience.

• You want to meet your soulmate. Five calls away, through friends or a matchmaking service, you can find him or her.

• You want to find just the right home. Five emails away, through your list and their list, you can get the right offer.

This is something you recognize immediately because women are great networkers. But have you used this gift to help your dream walk?

No?
Then here’s a thought. You may be seeing your dream as a selfish act, separated and even in opposition to the dreams and benefits of others.

You need a shift of perception. See your dream as a child that you’ve brought into the world. It came into this world through you, but it has a purpose that goes back to the mysterious universal consciousness. In other words, this child is needed in the world. By helping it to grow and walk into the world, you are fulfilling your life purpose and bringing the dream to those who need it.

Something happens to you as a woman when you see your dream as a child. Now you feel permission to help it grow, to give it your energy, to help it fly free.

That’s because you have been split into an artificial competition between self and others. The universe does not work like that because we are all one. You are an atom in the universal being. Other atoms cooperate with your purpose because it benefits the entire organism, of which all are a part. If you study the new cell biology, you will see that this is true. Cooperation is the rule.

As a woman you are a great networker, a part of a strong sisterhood that may include the women in your family, your peers, friends, classmates, club and community organizations.

You’ve volunteered. You’ve sold tickets. You’ve helped the children and youth. You’ve taken your children to the events. There is a genuine bond between you and your sisters and community.

Do not feel guilty to present your dream to these allies. Find the ways in which your dream benefits them, and launch a campaign to help them while they help your dream walk, and even fly!

Subscribe to Catch the Dream Express and receive a free sample of the Dream Kit. Unwrap your Gift Bundle: Creating your Service Vision contains a free chapter and a free workbook exercise from the Dream Kit.. This book is a ceremony to explore how to make a living from what you love to do. You will also receive our monthly newsletter and seasonal inspirational journeys.

You can use this article in your web or ezine as long as you include the credit below with links intact and functional and send us a notice.

Maria Mar is a writer, inspirational poet and speaker, a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman. Maria helps women manifest their dreams. In the Dream Kit, she helps women with the Law of Attraction. Click to obtain your free sample ebook.

Mother’s Day Gift- Self-mothering Practice

Warrior Tree, Mother Tree

Power Posture

Maria Mar(c)2009

This is a Power Posture to help women practice Self-Mothering.


While women take care of children, elders, the sick, the community and their families, many of them find it difficult to take care of themselves.

True, with all their duties, most women find it difficult to find time for self-mothering. But that is just the surface problem. Beneath, lies a deeper emotional reason. We have been trained to place our selves last and to feel guilty for giving ourselves priority.

Art by Maria Mar(c)2009. No appropriation, reproduction or distribution allowed. Protected by international copyright law.

Art by Maria Mar(c)2009

Click graphic to get

the downloadable poster.

This exercise calls upon the sacred presence of  Trees to summon your Inner Warrior. This Power Self opens a sacred time and space, connecting you to the forces of the trees, the earth and the Universe for renewal and strength. It helps you to center yourself. Once you find your core strength and center, then you can call upon your Inner Mother to  embrace yourself and practice self-love.

Preparation

  1. In preparation for the practice, copy and paste these instructions.

  2. Download the audio on the right column.

  3. You can also download the beautiful Warrior Tree, Mother Tree original art by Maria Mar for visualization.

AUDIO MEDITATION

Click here.

Click the link above to download
the audio meditation

and the poster.

Begin your Power Posture by standing with legs comfortably apart.

You can listen to the audio meditation as you adjust your posture.

Through ought your posture adjustment, see and feel yourself as a tall, sturdy tree.

You may want to download Maria Mar’s original Warrior Tree, Mother Tree art and print it as a visual aid.

Visualize your Hara line and feel your chakras spinning along this energy line.

  1. Adjust your stand until your weight is equally distributed between the two feet.

  2. Flex knees slightly, so that they are not locked. This helps in releasing and aligning the pelvis.

  3. Practice deep inhalation, allowing the air to travel all the way down to your belly. Release the air in a slow exhalation. The slower the exhalation, the deeper the relaxation.

  4. Roll your shoulders up and back in inhalation. Then drop them in exhalation. Do this several times, until they are relaxed.

  5. Release your lower spine by dropping your tail. Swing the pelvis back and forth slowly, until you find the center, where it is neither pushed forward not tugged in.

  6. Readjust your knees and feet again to make sure that your weight is well distributed.

  7. Return to Deep breathing for a while. Look at the tree art or visualize yourself as a tree.

  8. Release the upper spine by lifting the crown of your head upwards while slowly aligning your chin to be parallel to the floor. Feel the seven vertebrae in the back of your neck as they release any crunching and occupy more space.

  9. Stand relaxed, spine released, knees flexed and weight evenly distributed in both feet, and visualize an energy line (the Hara Line) that transverses your body. It shoots up from deep within the Earth core, runs through your spine and rises up towards the heavens. (The second illustration shows the Hara line.)

  10. Close your eyes and feel that energy shooting through you. Gently touch the points indicated here with your hands, one with the left, the next with the right hand, bringing the hands up and connecting each point with the previous one:

    1. Right hand-touch your crotch

    2. Left hand-touch your navel. Connect with the previous point.

    3. Right hand-touch the middle of your stomach. Connect with previous point.

    4. Left hand-touch the space between your breasts. Connect with the navel and then adjust the point in your middle stomach, until the line between the navel and the heart feels straight.

    5. Right hand-the tip of your nose.

    6. Left hand-between the eyes. Connect these points.

    7. Right hand-on the crown of your head. Connect this point with the previous one and then feel the entire line, from the earth through your crotch running up all the way to your crown.

  11. Now you are a tree. As you feel centered and in balance, begin to repeat the words in the Audio Meditation out loud, slowly. To speak like a tree, each work and sound is born in the stillness and silence and then released to the world as a delicious fruit. Remember to breath deeply as you talk.

I am Warrior Tree

Rooted in the deep Earth, I am

Centered and strong, I am.

Drawing life force

from the fire below.

Drawing life force

from the sky above.

I am Warrior Tree,

Connected to the Universe, I am.

  1. Once you feel relaxed, calmed, centered, rooted and aligned, begin to raise your arms above you slowly and lovingly. You are shapeshifting from Warrior Tree to Mother Tree. Speak out the second part of the poem. Again, speak like a tree. As you speak, your branches go up until they are open to the sides, and then you slowly embrace yourself.

Now I open my branches.

Now I release my love

in a generous green embrace.

I love, accept and nurture myself.

I am Mother Tree, I am.

I am Mother.

I am.

  1. Feel your basic goodness. Feel the beauty of your Essence. Feel as perfect as a tree. Allow the green embrace of love to shower all over you. Smile from within.

  2. You may close the meditation there, proceed to journal writing or ask your Inner Child what it needs or want and then do it there or set a time aside to do it during the week.

Practice this Power Posture three times a week until you know it by heart. Then use it whenever you realize that you are neglecting yourself.

If you like this practice, consider leaving me a comment

and joining the email subscription to the blog,

so that you get other inspirational and empowerment posts delivered to your email.

Good luck,

Maria Mar

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com

Find the Email Subscription link on the right column, below Maria’s bio.