Celebrate the Love your Body Week with art and free resources

Hi, Beautiful sister,

Here are some gifts and resources to celebratr

Love your Body Day

End Fat Talk Week


Click to read more about the Swan Woman Bundle
Art by Maria Mar(c)2010.*

 


Love your Female Curves

 

I created this art to help you enjoy and celebrate the curves of your body. Do
you know that wide hips allow for better birthing process? Do you know that
men are hired wired to instinctively respond to those wide hips? ):

 

Don’t let anybody shame you for your curves, beautiful sister. You are a woman. You are curvy, ample, sensuous and voluptuous. Bravo for you! Know that this is sexy! Not so long ago women were adored for those curves. (Think Marilyn Monroe or Sophia Loren.) But as women became freer in our society, there was a backlash. Now that we had more freedom, the focus became in cutting off our curves. This is an inorganic, distorted, borrowed dream that turns your life into a nightmare. Wake up!

 

I see hatred towards the Sacred Feminine in a society that shames women’s
natural curves and promotes an obsession with being thin. There’s nothing
wrong with being thin if that’s natural to you. But to reject your women’s
curves and pursue an “ideal” body without curves is not healthy or happy for
you. This trend devalues our female essence and alienates us from the curvy,
sensual ecology of the Earth.

 


Please heal this obsession that is destroying women’s health and happiness.
Reclaim your sensuality and your curves. Below there are gifts and resources
to help you love your body and discover its power and delight.

 

I love you.

Thanks for being in my Circle of Service.

 

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Resources to Love your Body

Courtesy of the Dream Alchemist


Free Resources

Your Secret Healing Place

How your body heals itself

Free Podcast Interviews


Fetch the free interviews.
Art by Maria Mar(c)2010.*

 

I’m happy to announce that the interview series I did with the internationally
acclaimed healer Misa Hopkins, best-selling author of “The Root of All
Healing”
–is now available, for free! Join a series of deep conversations about the mysteries, wonders and power of your body to heal itself, to communicate your deepest truths and to guide you in your spiritual, personal and professional development.

 

This is not one of those get-a-tiny-sample-and-then-buy teleseminar. If you like insightful conversations, you will love this series. Misa and I delved deeply into our knowledge as healers. You get knowledge from not one, but two systems of self-healing! We share tools, experiences, humor and wisdom. A must hear if you or someone you love needs to learn how to activate the power of self-healing. And who doesn’t? ):

 


Clicking will take you to the iTunes page.

To download, you need iTunes.

You can download it in a couple of minutes.

 

To find more about Misa, visit this page


http://www.yoursecrethealingplace.com/misa.php

 

More Resources in English

 

Low Cost
Resources

Click graphic to read more.


 


Available as a gift certificate

 

Meet Swan Woman


Swan Woman
is the Power Self within you that intimately knows her
uniqueness, her beauty and her grace. She opens her wings and flies freely,
gracefully, in the moment, here now. These are the Five Agreements of
Swan Woman
:

 

  1. I love myself.

  2. I free my Grace.

  3. I enjoy my Beauty.

  4. I assume my power.

  5. I fully occupy my space.

 

I designed an easily downloadable bundle of products to help you as a woman to free the Swan Woman within yourself. It helps you:

 

  • Love your Body

  • Love your life and live it to the fullest

  • Take care of your wellbeing through relaxation and self-healing

  • Appreciate and irradiate your beauty.

  • Improve your posture to unleash your grace, beauty and power

  • Find inspiration to be all that you are

  • Grow your Self-love and practice self-acceptance.


Buy Express now!


Click button to buy express.


Only $20 USD

Immediate download of all parts


READ MORE

 


Includes: Swan Woman digital poster with the Five Agreements, Swan Woman
illustrated Posture Guide, Swan Woman: Love your Body, Love Yourself
Anthology with articles and daily practices, 30-day Love your Body
Meditations and Affirmations Ecourse, BONUS: Blessings for your body ebook,
from Corazon Tierra.

EN ESPAÑOL, for our Latina Sister

Ama tus Curvas 2010

Evento Virtual Gratis

 


Pulsa para unirte a la celebracion ama tus curvas 2010.

 

La experta en autoestima corporal Corazón Tierra celebra el día de “Love your Body” y “End Fat Talk Week” con su evento virtual “Ama tus Curvas 2010”, donde encontrarás una serie de regalos, artículos, poemas y arte que te inspira y motiva a amar tus curvas.

 


http://cuerpoadentro.wordpress.com/ama-tus-curvas/

 

 

 

* All art in this communication is copyright of Maria
Mar(c)2010. No downloading, reproduction or distribution
permitted.

 

 


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permission to-deserve-what-you-want

Give yourself the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed

 

This is a series of articles dedicated to helping women give ourselves the 7 Basic Permissions to succeed. Scroll down to subscribe to entire series in an Ebook Series that will be sent to your email, one ebook a month, for easy digestion.

Note: This post is an update from the previous post by the same name. I tried to include the first article here, but it was too long and the continuation links got broken. Sorry about that. I’ve taken care of this by updating the article to a shorter version and providing the ebook series for those who can benefit from more detail. Thanks for your patience, and enjoy the article below, which has some new insights.

 

ARTICLE 1:

Give yourself the Permission to DESERVE what you want

 

First permission to succeed: Permission to deserve what you want

First permission to succeed: Permission to deserve what you want

 

I’m talking on the phone with a great international artist. I congratulate her on the success of her current exhibition. Suddenly I hear a shocking confession.

“Yes, I know. It’s been well received. But you know what? I really do not FEEL like a success.”

As a soul healer and shaman, I am a psychic huntress. I track down patterns of energy not only in individuals, but in groups. For months now I’ve been on the scent of a mortal enemy of women’s success and wellbeing.

This enemy brings a scent of despair and diminishes a woman’s intrinsic value. It minimizes her contributions. It transforms a woman’s self- perception from success to insufficiency.

The Question

I’m chatting with a friend in a café. This is a woman who I admire, love and respect. She is a cultural leader, an exquisite poet and a college professor. She acknowledges that she is not working in the way she wants, not living her potential to its fullest. The obstacles seem insurmountable and she feels trapped.

I went home and hunted down the unasked question in the conversation.

“Why is it so hard for me to do what I want to do?”

The Answer

The long history of denial that women have experienced collectively is embedded in the individual energy patterns of each woman.  The problem is not that we consciously rate ourselves as a failure. Most of the women I interviewed knew the objective value of their achievements.

Women not give themselves emotional permission to succeed. The denial to succeed is subconscious, emotional and implicit. This denial works as a hidden interference to our conscious intent to create a fulfilling life.

The Underbelly of Success

The stories that we tell ourselves are rarely the real story. When we tell ourselves the reasons why we can’t do what we want to do, we focus on external circumstances, usually having to do with how giving to others take precedence over our own desires. But that is a lie we’ve been told and we keep telling ourselves.

If we look at the underbelly of success, however, it is rarely about circumstances and much more about permissions. It is about giving ourselves the emotional and spiritual permissions to be, have, create and enjoy what we desire.

Women need to restore the energy gateways for these permissions. They are not built-in, as is usually the case in most men, who have been socialized for centuries in the belief that they are made to achieve things in the world.

Many of us unwittingly fall into the role of victim, in spite of being powerful women, often leaders and high achievers. We do this by pitting our right to succeed against the wellbeing of our loved ones. Guilt is the glue that keeps us stuck, though we rarely recognize its scent in our self-sacrifice.

Why does an accomplished writer, artist, expert or leader who has taught, guided, helped and empowered hundreds of people feel unsuccessful? Because she is serving others in ways that do not fulfill her Soul’s needs. Success needs to be measured by the degree of fulfillment of your Soul, not by social criteria seen from outside the Self. I call this Success with Soul.

Many spiritual paths tell you that you are here to serve others, not for yourself. I disagree. We came here for our own evolution. That is not in opposition to love or service. We are one. You are a mirror to me and part of me. When you honor your essence, you give me permission to honor mine. The war between self and others is part of the selflessness myth that has limited women for centuries.

But there is something else.

For centuries we have sustained community, nourished families and transformed societies without as much as a thank you. We have gotten used to trying harder and giving more. We are seeking perfection as the gateway to give ourselves permission to succeed.

If we have achieved mastery of our creativity, but are not yet prosperous, we feel that we have failed.  If we have achieved prosperity, but do not have a love partner, we again feel that we are not that much of a success. We throw away the baby with the basinet, so to speak.

Why is it so hard to give yourself what you want?

1.       Because you believe that if you are happy, someone will suffer. For centuries, you’ve been sold in the definition of love as self-sacrifice.

2.       Because your relationship, empathic and nurturing gifts have been historically pitted against you. The training you’ve received on how to be a mother, friend, daughter or caregiver is to give by cutting off pieces of yourself. But you cannot subtract from what you don’t have.

3.       Because you believe that you are not good enough to have what you want. You believe that if you take care of others first, then and only then will you deserve the right to have what you want.

Here’s a solution you can try at home to create new gateways to give yourself permission to succeed.

Make a list of seven things that make you happy or that your body and soul need right now. These things need to be small enough that they are doable now, but challenging enough that you have not given yourself these things in a long time. For the next seven weeks, give yourself one of these things once a week.

Examples:

  • Take a day off and go to a SPA to get a massage.
  • Give yourself a warm food bath with salts before going to bed.
  • Spend a week-end in a retreat to rest and relax.
  • Take a creative workshop to learn or improve one of your talents.
  • Write a poem or create a song expressing your Unique Essence.
  • Dance under the moon.

Offer your happiness as a gift to the world.

—-The End—-

Copyright Maria Mar©2010.

 

RESOURCES: FREE!
Give yourself the 7 Basic Permissions to Succeed

Ebook Series

I have compiled the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed in a series of free ebooks. To immediately enjoy the first ebook and be notified of the other six ebooks in the series, which will come out once a month, subscribe here.

 

“I want to Flourish!”

Online Fiesta

Enjoy free videos, gifts and prizes in the “I Want to Flourish” Online Fiesta, helping you to release the hidden interference to your success. Click here.

 

I want to flourish fiesta offers you free videos, gifts and prizes to help you get unstuck and flourish.

The Success Seed

Success-Gardening Kit

Transform your daily experience of success with this profound journey that helps you redefine success in every atom of your body.

  • Connect to your higher self.
  • Align with your infinite potential.
  • Remember your life purpose.
  • Recall your Unique Essence.
  • Discover your Personal Strengths.
  • Unbury your Karmic Gifts.
  • Learn how the wounds you’ve inherited can become your Secret Tools for Mastery
  • Obtain the seven spiritual measures of success.

Three audio meditations that take you in a shamanic journey of deep transformation and healing, plus ebook with daily practices and meditations and a bonus ebook series, Give yourself the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed. READ MORE.

 

First audio free!

Limited time offer

The Success Seed Gardening Kit is a profound journey that awakens you to the success you already are.

 

 

Authors Bio:

Maria Mar is an author, poet, healer and spiritual teacher whose life mission is to inspire you to achieve personal freedom, unlock your creative potential and live a life of magic and delight. A PBS-featured performer and visual artist, Maria has freed her vast creative potential and helps you do the same, designing a life and work experience that fulfills your soul’s purpose. Maria marries her artistry and imagination with her wisdom and energy tools as a shaman to offer powerful tools for self-transformation, healing and manifestation. If you are interested in mentoring with Maria Mar, visit http://www.dreamalchemist.com.

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Share your Sweet Spot!

Oh, lala! My Sweet Spot!

I participate in a journal writing membership at http://journal.journalengine.com. Some time ago the facilitator, Marc Manieri, asked us to identify our Sweet Spots.

As I remember, Marc defines our Sweet Spots as those organic strong places within us, those things we love and give us joy, those things we would do whether they paid us or not. I found the practice of recognizing my Sweet Spots as a great self-love and self-esteem booster, so I recommend you try it!

I want to share my Sweet Spots with you today.

I am an inspirer. Inspiration is my Sweet Spot.

Sometimes inspiration is poetry. Written poetry. I become a mermaid and dive into the depth of existence to bring back to the surface the treasures of life.

I have one book of poetry that I am preparing in English. It is called The Tao of Trees. This is about the poems and teachings given to me by the trees. When I was sick some years ago, the trees healed me and they gave me these beautiful meditations in poetry about life. I am preparing that book with the audio and the illustrations capturing the energy presence of the trees. WOW! That’s a beautiful journey.

I also have several other unpublished books of poetry. One of them is my next book in Spanish. It is entitled El Duende en los Ojos. “El Duende” is the spirit of Flamenco, the Spirit of art as Lorca, the great poet, described it. El Duende is cousin of The Muses, if you get what I mean.

The poems in this collection I am creating awaken the spirit of life for people to romance their lives. Don’t you see why I simply loooove this?

There is the spoken poetry in literary readings. I also love to inspire via audio. I like to create audio experiences to heal, inspire and help you transform your life easily, deeply and gracefully. Check out my audios at:

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/audios.htm

Then there is the Dance-poetry performances. Here I become fire, warm and dancing, to speak the language of passion.

I combine dance, performance, theatre and sometimes visual arts to embody a revelation, story or poem. I loooove doing this. In the rehearsals, I grow, heal and evolve deeply. In the performances, people go into deep healing and transformation. These are ceremonies in the tradition of the old shamans who danced and drummed, but within contemporary life. Powerful stuff!

Check my current performance, called LifeBites, because I take daily problems that people are having and create a performance to present the problem and then move people towards the solution.

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/lifebites.htm

Then there is the Ceremonial Poetry. I love to do ceremonial poems! They engage people into journeying through the poem as a ceremony or rites of passage. They are fantastic! I do them for opening ceremonies, speaking engagements and even in literary readings. See my current Ceremonial Poetry.

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/speaker-mariamar-poetry-dreamsarenevertiny.htm

Sometimes inspiration is a thought, an insight. Here I meditate and empty my mind. I become air.

I offer daily inspiration in my Facebook profile. If you are in Facebook, befriend me at:

http://www.facebook.com/DreamAlchemist

Then you will be regaled with my daily tips, inspiration, practices, meditations and more.

I also post daily inspiration and tips in this blog:

http://www.dreamalchemist.wordpress.com

I also go off the radar when I am doing visual art. I become light and color.

I simply merge with Oneness and go swimming in the pool of delight. Want to see one of my art pieces?

See my collection of original art digital posters here:

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/screensaver_art.htm

Now I’m hooked in inspiring through video presentations. My upcoming video blog will feature many of them! If you want to receive the video blog via email, subscribe here:

http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=UnstuckYourself&loc=en_US

Finally, I go deep down into the depth of earth and the human soul when I write prose, whether it is fiction or non-fiction.

I write in my blog every week. Read some of it here:

http://www.dreamexpress.wordpress.com

So what is left?

I love to do ceremony. Spiritual ceremony, with music (like drumming, Yeepeee!), crystals, dancing, chanting, and I go off and my mind becomes the sky and I am healed, expanded, transcended. I fly.

And then, there is spiritual teaching.

When I am with someone guiding them, supporting them, I become a clear channel for Divine energy, and it flows through me, and I can see and touch beyond my limits. Doing this I grow and deepen my being and connect to many dimensions beyond the solid. It is the experience of greatness.

I am right now opening a one-year mentorship to place all my “Sweet Spots” at the service of 10 women. These women will have me as their “Break-free Mama” helping them every day to break free from past limitations, release hidden interferences, free their Unique Essence, live creatively and unleash their greatness. I will help them address their current problems and design a life and/or work experience that creates their dream right here, right now. Interested? Check it out at:

http://www.dreamalchemist.com

I can truly say that I have so many sweet spots that I am like a great 85% cocoa organic chocolate bar! (I have a  friend who says that good chocolate is not really that sweet. But no matter, it’s heavenly!)

Thanks for asking this question, Marc. It brought me great delight. I now I ask you, beautiful readers, what is YOUR Sweet Spot? Leave your comments below.

Light and love,
Maria Mar
The Dream Alchemist
http://www.dreamalchemist.com

RESOURCES

If you’d like to join Marc’s free journal writing course, go to:

http://journal.journalengine.com.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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—-THE END—-

How can I overcome low self-esteem?

LifeByte #4

How can I overcome low self-esteem

Question:

How can I overcome low self-esteem?

Asked by: Sherley

Answer:

Understand that the universe does not create anything unnecessary. The lowly worm helps break down the humus. The soil is loosened and mixed as the earthworm burrows through the ground. Thus, the worm is the great harvester of the tall trees and all that grows from the soil! Why would you be the only being without purpose or value on this universe?

Seen from this perspective, NOT to hold yourself in high esteem is an act of arrogance. You are judging that Earth Mother, that God or the Universal Consciousness, created something that is of no value just because you do not see the value in it.

Low self-esteem is learned. You were born being in touched with the stars, and knowing your place among them. Low self-esteem is a raggedy dress that others dumped over your radiance with their comments and put down. You have the power to release it.

“Yes, but how?” You are asking.

Use the power of your emotional Lighthouse.

Just as a lighthouse illuminates the ocean waters to bring ships to safe harbor, your emotions can illuminate your basic goodness to bring you to center and out of the Domestication Trance that stole your radiance consciousness.

Here’s how.

  1. Instead of attaching your emotions to your learned habit of berating your own worth, shift into this reflection any time you feel a low self-esteem attack coming.

“Sacred Universe (or God, Goddess, Earth Mother), every being you create has a purpose in the evolution of this universe. I am listening and seeing to discover the purpose you intend with my creation and existence. I open my heart that you may ignite my love for the unique being you created in me.”

2. Instead of judging yourself, look at both, your strength and weaknesses, your successes and failures, as part of the training that the Universe is giving you to prepare you for that purpose.

3. Instead of giving in to the illusion of worthlessness or insufficiency, shift into seeing yourself as the Universal Mother sees you: her radiant child, born of her to bring a gift to the world. Concentrate on this gift and release the illusion.

For more information, see the resources below.

Tool:

Digital Self-love Ceremony

This ceremony in a package contains an ebook, audio meditation and two posters for visual meditation that together comprise a ceremony to enhance self-love. If you want a gentle, but quick experience that can nourish self-love without being hard work, this is it.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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The fuel for holiday celebrations is self-love

Dear beautiful sisters and handsome brothers, here’s a thought and some tools to enrich your Holidays. Love, Maria Mar

Click on banner to save yourself shopping-related stress

and send a gift of self-love to a friend.

Your experience of the beauty and perfection of this moment is colored by your capacity to feel full, deep, unconditional love for yourself. Without this self-love, you will judge yourself based on what you have or have achieved or on your expectations. To live fully and celebrate fully, love yourself fully.

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Awaken your Self-love!

During the end of the year it is natural to review what we have achieved or to take a look at how we did in the past months.

Now more than ever it is essential that during this time you flood yourself in self-love.

I have created the Awaken the Rose Self-love Collection to help you and your loved ones do just that.

There are three other Self-love Collections for you in our Holiday Gifts of Self-love sales.

  • Close 2009 and open 2010 in a state
    of self-love.
  • Enjoy an instant change of mood that ignites your Holiday Spirit.
  • Grow YOUR self-love! When you buy a Gift Certificate, you get your gift FREE!
  • Stick to your budget. Gifts from $5 to $40.
  • Save money. No shipping & handling. No transportation. No delivery fee. No wrapping paper.
  • Save time. No stressful lines. No crowded shopping. Immediate download.
  • Go Green! Save TREES!

Enjoy stress-free shopping. Go now to Holiday Gifts of Self-love!

Wishing you a joyful Holiday,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

P.S. 1.

This is the first in a Holiday Gifts of Self-love Series of inspirational tips and featured products to enrich your Holiday experience.

Holiday Gifts of Self-love

Publishing and Productions, Inc.

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Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

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Book Review: Love your Body, Love your Life

BOOK REVIEW

by Maria Mar

the Dream Alchemist

Love your Body, Love your Life, by Sarah Maria

 

BOOK: Love your Body, Love your Life:

5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidentially

AUTHOR: Sarah Maria

 

 

Why is the Dream Alchemist reviewing this book? Why should I read it?

There is a lot of talk about “having a Dream” and manifesting it. The Law of Attraction has become almost an obsession in our popular psyche. But as a manifestation expert and shaman, I can assure you that “having a dream” is the easiest way to miss it. There is only one way to manifest your dream, and that is to BE your Dream. To embody it.

How can you embody your dream, however, if you are out of your body?

When you reject your body because it is not the perfect “ideal” body that you’ve come to believe you must have, then you are evicted from the first territory of your physical existence. Your body anchors you in the physical world. Negative Body Image throws away that anchor and evicts you from your body into the shadowlands of self-loathing.

Your body is intimately connected to your Soul, the holder of your Dream. Without your BodySoul, you have no compass to manifest your dream. You may try hard, do a lot, recite affirmations and try to change your thoughts. But nothing will work. Your actions are empty shells without power. Why?

Because the power that animates your intent is not there. Your Intent is the bow that sends the arrow of your Dream into the world. Your Intent comes from your BodySoul.

Reclaiming your love for your self is the first step to reclaim the power of your intent. Reclaiming your love for your body is the basic step to love yourself.

What is so hot about this book? Will I like it?

Sarah Maria’s “Love Love your Body, Love your Life: 5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidentially” is a soul-awakening journey to reclaim the love for your body and for yourself.

What I like about Sarah Maria’s book is that it addresses and integrates all the essential aspects in reclaiming your body: mind, emotions, body and spirit. The book inspires and motivates you. This enables you to activate the deep reserve of wisdom and courage in your spirit. It ignites the intuitive and instinctual power of your body. Then Sarah Maria guides your mind through simple, down to earth explanations and exercises. She addresses the transformational power of your emotions through stories and attitude shifting exercises.

We are all shapeshifters. We have the power to shift our reality. But in this society, we are using this power against ourselves: trying to shapeshift into something or someone else in order to deserve happiness or to fulfill our dreams.

Sarah Maria’s book allows you to use your shapeshifting power to liberate yourself, to BE you. This allows you to live from that real, unique and joyful place called YOU. Once you are there, you don’t need to have the dream because you ARE the dream!

Here’s another reason to get this book now:

I love this book so much that I contributed a gift ebook to Sarah Maria’s special “Rapid Success Gift Package” — a package of bonuses from experts who will help you to manifest the life you want. Sarah Maria added about 165 expert products that you can obtain free when you purchase THIS WEEK. (Week starting November 2, 2009)

Recommended:

**** 4 stars= Excellent read and excellent transformational tool

Read more about the book or purchase it at:

http://www.sarahmaria.com/

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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Are you a toxic magnet?

Are you a Toxic Magnet?

By Maria Mar(c)2009

Excerpt from

Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them

Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course

Are you signaling toxic people that you are a willing prey?

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Are you an unwilling, unconscious magnet for toxic people? If you often find yourself dealing with toxic people or if the effects of toxic encounters affect you more and for a longer time than they affect others, then you may be a Toxic Magnet.

Just because you have a couple of toxic relationships that need addressing or because you know some toxic people does not mean that you are a Toxic Magnet. Toxic people are everywhere. You are bound to meet a couple of every month, at least. Whether you hook up with them or not is another matter.

But if you often suffer from the anxiety, emotional torture and negative drama that toxic people generate, then you may want to examine if you are a Toxic Magnet.

This mini self-assessment is an excerpt from Toxic Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them, a digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course that helps you understand, transform and release the toxic relationships in your life.

To establish your Primary Emotional Response Pattern, in the list below, check any feelings that arise from your toxic encounter. Address one encounter at a time.

SECTION A

___  I keep thinking that I’ve done something wrong and keep trying to come up with another way of responding, but everything fails.

___   I feel guilty when I tell the person how I feel or when I set limits.

___  I feel hurt and sad. I want the person to tell me that she loves me and accept me as I am.

SECTION B

___    I want to win. I want her to apologize and accept that she is wrong. I keep bring up evidence and arguments, but she won’t give in.

___    I feel trapped and frustrated. I can’t find a way to get a win-win solution. Everything I say is misinterpreted and I am at the end of my wit.

___    I wrap myself in patience and try to address each complaint. But the complaints never seize and it’s frustrating.

SECTION C

___    I feel that I am more mature and healthy than this person and should be able to address the situation in an effective way.

___    I allow the person to rant and rave or do her acting out. I feel like a mother waiting for a kid to finish a tantrum.

___    I speak to her as to a child, softly and calmly. I listen attentively and then ask questions.

SECTION D

___    I feel exhausted. I am drained of all energy. I feel unable to continue with this dynamic, and at the same time, I am scared of what she might do if I do not continue.

___    My overwhelming feeling is fear. Fear that I may be fired, that I will be judged, that I will be exposed or hurt. I feel intimidated.

___    I can’t find my voice. I want to scream or confront the person, but I get a lump in my throat.

SECTION E

___    I want to go away and avoid the whole thing because it causes too much anxiety.

___    I go away emotionally. I feel frozen or paralyzed or simply disappear and show up when it’s all over.

___    I am shocked. I can’t believe it. It all becomes a blur.

Look at the section that has the most checks. That’s your Primary Emotional Response Patterns.

Section A= Defective

Section B=Fixer

Section C=Saint

Section D=Follower

Section E=Sleepwalker

Types of Toxic Magnets

We humans are complex beings. Once you have dived into the infinite layers of the subconscious, you learn that we are as vast as all universes existing throughout eternity.

Therefore, the types that are presented in this self-assessment barely scratch the surface of your Toxic Magnet behaviors and beliefs. Furthermore, you will rarely fit only in one Toxic Magnet Type.

However, recognizing your Primary Emotional Responses allows you to spot how a specific toxic person or situation triggers a specific type of Toxic Magnet response in you. Since you cannot change the other, but you can change your responses, this information empowers you to change the responses that keep you hooked in the Toxic Dance.

Section A: The Defectives

If you checked a majority of items in Section A, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Defectives. The Defectives secretly feel defective, damaged, less than others or insufficient. They seek to gain value by giving, being good, serving others, placating or appeasing or by playing second best.

If you fit this profile, this does not mean that you ARE defective. It means that the Ugly Duckling is alive somewhere in your psyche, stealing the majestic Swan you truly are. This hooks you up with toxic people, who are big blamers. Their blaming triggers your secret feelings of not being enough and keeps you hooked in the Toxic Dance.

Section B: The Fixers

If you checked a majority of items in Section B, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Fixers. The Fixers need something or someone to fix in order to distract themselves from their own issues. They have inherited an emotional belief that they cannot be loved unless they give others what they want, unless they are needed, in control or perfect.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a control freak and want to fix everyone ―though this may also be true. It means that when a toxic person complaints or blame others or a situation for their actions, you get hooked trying to solve the problem and that fixing obsession keeps you in the Toxic Dance.

Section C: The Followers

If you checked a majority of items in Section C, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Followers. The Followers learned to blend with the wall paper in order to avoid conflict or abuse. They focus on others to gain their support and avoid decisions, risks or responsibility. They are afraid to assume their power or leadership or to speak their truth.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a coward who is easily bullied. It means that when a toxic person displays intimidating behavior, you may be unable to stand up to this person. You may freeze, lose your voice or give in to avoid conflicts. By giving in, you stay in the Toxic Dance.

Section D: The Saints

If you checked a majority of items in Section D, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Saints. The Saints believe that they have to sacrifice in order to deserve a place in the world. They also believe that to gain heaven or spiritual evolution, they need to sacrifice their own desires, happiness and sometimes even their wellbeing.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE a goody-two-shoes who can’t stand up for herself. It means that when a toxic person trespasses your personal boundaries, you are going to use inappropriate compassion to enable their inappropriate behavior. By sacrificing your personal needs and not prioritizing your own feelings and desires, you get pulled into the Toxic Dance

Section E: The Sleep-walkers

If you checked a majority of items in Section E, you may respond to the Toxic Magnet Type called Sleep-Walker. The Sleep-Walkers “go away” at the least sign of danger, confrontation or risk. They may do this by disconnecting emotionally or mentally from the situation, literally leaving, “switching off” or using an addictive behavior or substance.

If you fit this profile, this does not automatically mean that you ARE Sleeping Beauty personified ―though you should track down how pervasive this reaction is in your life. It means that when a toxic person discharges their toxic energy or creates conflicts, you will not be able to take effective action because you will fall into the sleeping trance, which keeps you in the Toxic Dance.

I hope that in recognizing the role you may play in attracting, hooking up with or allowing the toxic behavior, you have realized to what measure you may be a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you avoid your responsibility and are afraid of assuming your Personal Power, in that measure you become a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you are not willing to see what you see, in which you avoid the truth and try to change, appease or follow others to avoid confrontation, in that same measure your become a Toxic Magnet.

In the measure in which you see what you see, take responsibility for your choices and assume your Personal Power, in that same measure you signal to toxic people that you are not prey.

In the measure in which you honor your truth, release control over others and stand as your self-authority, in that same measure you are free from the hooks and attachments that keep people in the Toxic Dance.

The END

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Maria Mar(c)2009. Maria Mar is a writer, inspirational speaker and poet, a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman. Maria helps people understand and release toxic relationships in the Toxic
Relationships: Love them, but LEAVE Them
Digital Self-help Kit and Home Study Course