permission to-deserve-what-you-want

Give yourself the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed

 

This is a series of articles dedicated to helping women give ourselves the 7 Basic Permissions to succeed. Scroll down to subscribe to entire series in an Ebook Series that will be sent to your email, one ebook a month, for easy digestion.

Note: This post is an update from the previous post by the same name. I tried to include the first article here, but it was too long and the continuation links got broken. Sorry about that. I’ve taken care of this by updating the article to a shorter version and providing the ebook series for those who can benefit from more detail. Thanks for your patience, and enjoy the article below, which has some new insights.

 

ARTICLE 1:

Give yourself the Permission to DESERVE what you want

 

First permission to succeed: Permission to deserve what you want

First permission to succeed: Permission to deserve what you want

 

I’m talking on the phone with a great international artist. I congratulate her on the success of her current exhibition. Suddenly I hear a shocking confession.

“Yes, I know. It’s been well received. But you know what? I really do not FEEL like a success.”

As a soul healer and shaman, I am a psychic huntress. I track down patterns of energy not only in individuals, but in groups. For months now I’ve been on the scent of a mortal enemy of women’s success and wellbeing.

This enemy brings a scent of despair and diminishes a woman’s intrinsic value. It minimizes her contributions. It transforms a woman’s self- perception from success to insufficiency.

The Question

I’m chatting with a friend in a café. This is a woman who I admire, love and respect. She is a cultural leader, an exquisite poet and a college professor. She acknowledges that she is not working in the way she wants, not living her potential to its fullest. The obstacles seem insurmountable and she feels trapped.

I went home and hunted down the unasked question in the conversation.

“Why is it so hard for me to do what I want to do?”

The Answer

The long history of denial that women have experienced collectively is embedded in the individual energy patterns of each woman.  The problem is not that we consciously rate ourselves as a failure. Most of the women I interviewed knew the objective value of their achievements.

Women not give themselves emotional permission to succeed. The denial to succeed is subconscious, emotional and implicit. This denial works as a hidden interference to our conscious intent to create a fulfilling life.

The Underbelly of Success

The stories that we tell ourselves are rarely the real story. When we tell ourselves the reasons why we can’t do what we want to do, we focus on external circumstances, usually having to do with how giving to others take precedence over our own desires. But that is a lie we’ve been told and we keep telling ourselves.

If we look at the underbelly of success, however, it is rarely about circumstances and much more about permissions. It is about giving ourselves the emotional and spiritual permissions to be, have, create and enjoy what we desire.

Women need to restore the energy gateways for these permissions. They are not built-in, as is usually the case in most men, who have been socialized for centuries in the belief that they are made to achieve things in the world.

Many of us unwittingly fall into the role of victim, in spite of being powerful women, often leaders and high achievers. We do this by pitting our right to succeed against the wellbeing of our loved ones. Guilt is the glue that keeps us stuck, though we rarely recognize its scent in our self-sacrifice.

Why does an accomplished writer, artist, expert or leader who has taught, guided, helped and empowered hundreds of people feel unsuccessful? Because she is serving others in ways that do not fulfill her Soul’s needs. Success needs to be measured by the degree of fulfillment of your Soul, not by social criteria seen from outside the Self. I call this Success with Soul.

Many spiritual paths tell you that you are here to serve others, not for yourself. I disagree. We came here for our own evolution. That is not in opposition to love or service. We are one. You are a mirror to me and part of me. When you honor your essence, you give me permission to honor mine. The war between self and others is part of the selflessness myth that has limited women for centuries.

But there is something else.

For centuries we have sustained community, nourished families and transformed societies without as much as a thank you. We have gotten used to trying harder and giving more. We are seeking perfection as the gateway to give ourselves permission to succeed.

If we have achieved mastery of our creativity, but are not yet prosperous, we feel that we have failed.  If we have achieved prosperity, but do not have a love partner, we again feel that we are not that much of a success. We throw away the baby with the basinet, so to speak.

Why is it so hard to give yourself what you want?

1.       Because you believe that if you are happy, someone will suffer. For centuries, you’ve been sold in the definition of love as self-sacrifice.

2.       Because your relationship, empathic and nurturing gifts have been historically pitted against you. The training you’ve received on how to be a mother, friend, daughter or caregiver is to give by cutting off pieces of yourself. But you cannot subtract from what you don’t have.

3.       Because you believe that you are not good enough to have what you want. You believe that if you take care of others first, then and only then will you deserve the right to have what you want.

Here’s a solution you can try at home to create new gateways to give yourself permission to succeed.

Make a list of seven things that make you happy or that your body and soul need right now. These things need to be small enough that they are doable now, but challenging enough that you have not given yourself these things in a long time. For the next seven weeks, give yourself one of these things once a week.

Examples:

  • Take a day off and go to a SPA to get a massage.
  • Give yourself a warm food bath with salts before going to bed.
  • Spend a week-end in a retreat to rest and relax.
  • Take a creative workshop to learn or improve one of your talents.
  • Write a poem or create a song expressing your Unique Essence.
  • Dance under the moon.

Offer your happiness as a gift to the world.

—-The End—-

Copyright Maria Mar©2010.

 

RESOURCES: FREE!
Give yourself the 7 Basic Permissions to Succeed

Ebook Series

I have compiled the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed in a series of free ebooks. To immediately enjoy the first ebook and be notified of the other six ebooks in the series, which will come out once a month, subscribe here.

 

“I want to Flourish!”

Online Fiesta

Enjoy free videos, gifts and prizes in the “I Want to Flourish” Online Fiesta, helping you to release the hidden interference to your success. Click here.

 

I want to flourish fiesta offers you free videos, gifts and prizes to help you get unstuck and flourish.

The Success Seed

Success-Gardening Kit

Transform your daily experience of success with this profound journey that helps you redefine success in every atom of your body.

  • Connect to your higher self.
  • Align with your infinite potential.
  • Remember your life purpose.
  • Recall your Unique Essence.
  • Discover your Personal Strengths.
  • Unbury your Karmic Gifts.
  • Learn how the wounds you’ve inherited can become your Secret Tools for Mastery
  • Obtain the seven spiritual measures of success.

Three audio meditations that take you in a shamanic journey of deep transformation and healing, plus ebook with daily practices and meditations and a bonus ebook series, Give yourself the Seven Basic Permissions to Succeed. READ MORE.

 

First audio free!

Limited time offer

The Success Seed Gardening Kit is a profound journey that awakens you to the success you already are.

 

 

Authors Bio:

Maria Mar is an author, poet, healer and spiritual teacher whose life mission is to inspire you to achieve personal freedom, unlock your creative potential and live a life of magic and delight. A PBS-featured performer and visual artist, Maria has freed her vast creative potential and helps you do the same, designing a life and work experience that fulfills your soul’s purpose. Maria marries her artistry and imagination with her wisdom and energy tools as a shaman to offer powerful tools for self-transformation, healing and manifestation. If you are interested in mentoring with Maria Mar, visit http://www.dreamalchemist.com.

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Success is an inside job

Success is an inside job

Introduction to the Hidden Interference

that Sabotages your Success

By Maria Mar©2010

Art by Maria Mar(c)2010.

Are you a success? How do you measure this? We often measure success by external results. This is a mistake because if you have yet to see those results, you will feel a failure! Success is built from the inside out, so that it is always there, no matter what is happening around you, because YOU are the success!

How can you be a success if your dream or goal is yet to manifest? If you want a soulmate, but are single; if you want prosperity, but are broke; if you want visibility, but few people know you, how can you see yourself as a success?

The answer to that question is simple, but if I answer it right now, you won’t believe the reply. If you are feeling frustrated or lacking, this powerful, yet simple truth will sound hollow. You will simply let it slide because it will be difficult to grasp its power from your current state of mind. There is a journey you need to take in order to understand the nature of success. It is a quest. As all quests, it is fundamentally an Inward Journey.

In this post I am going to open the door to that Inward Journey. If you like what you see and feel as you read, you are welcome to walk through that open door. There is a link at the end of this article that leads you to that threshold.

The Power of Perception

Shamans have known for millennia that perception creates the world. Today, quantum scientists are finally catching up with this universal Law of Manifestation. But most people, trained at home and school, are still being taught the following:

  • Reality is an objective, unchanging phenomena.
  • You cannot change the situations you find yourself in because they are objective phenomena that have already been created and cannot be changed.
  • What happens externally (objective) has no relation to what happens internally (subjective).
  • You are born into a set of unchanging circumstances and you meet more circumstances in your life, all of them created by others, sometimes long ago, and you have no power to change these circumstances because you have no inherence in how they were created.
  • The only way to change your circumstance is through hard work over a long period of time, using will power and external actions in the world.
  • Your thoughts have nothing to do with what happens to you.
  • Your emotions are irrelevant. The best thing to do is repress them, as they can get you into trouble because they are irrational and often bad for you.
  • Desire, ambition, wanting and longing are bad for the spirit because they belong to the ego, to the material world.
  • BUT socially speaking, it is good to be ambitious and want a better life.
  • If you want change, you have to “make it happen” by taking actions that change your reality. (But wait! Wasn’t reality an objective, unchanging phenomena?)

When you look at these series of beliefs, you may immediately see that some are false, others outdated, some conflicting and all of them are disempowering. You may consciously disagree with them.

The question is what does your subconscious belief?

For many of us most of the time, our subconscious is carrying this false idea of reality in our programmed automatic reactions, fear-based emotions, negative expectations and learned false beliefs. These beliefs are instantly transmitted to our autonomic nervous system and comprised more than 95% of our responses to the world.

What does that mean to you?

It means that when you see an obstacle in your path to your dreams or goals, you will perceive it as an external, objective obstacle standing on your way; an obstacle that was placed by known or unknown forces outside of your own intention and therefore cannot be changed with your intent, thought, emotions or any other power within you. (Remember that in our old learned belief systems, there is no relation between the inner or subjective and the outer or objective reality.)

If you’ve learned to see the world as something external that “happens” to you, then it is likely that your autonomic reaction may be a flight or fight response from your sympathetic nervous system. You’ll push, huff and puff until you are exhausted. If the obstacle does not budge, you give up in defeat. Does that sound familiar?

Consider a third option. What would happen if you release this learned belief for a moment? I am referring to the learned, outdated belief that your external reality is an objective phenomena outside your inner realm of possibilities.

Consider, just as an experiment, that the obstacle in your path is BOTH:

  • An external, objective obstacle created by external forces

AND

  • A reflection of a hidden inner obstacle in your inner life that attracts or projects itself as an external barrier, with the conscious intent by Universal Divine Intelligence to bring it into your conscious view, to assist you in transforming it.

Does that change your attitude and feelings about the obstacles you are facing in your path to success? Good!

With that Window of Perception opened, let me share with you what I have found about the hidden interferences that sabotage our success.

How I discovered hidden interferences

Would you believe that the woman who created the branding, design and product covers in our websites and blogs, who has created many of the art work for our visual meditations and greetings, including the art work in this post, spent more than 20 years of her life telling herself that she was no good at visual art? I know this to be a fact. You see, I am that woman.

If in one year I began to draw, design, illustrate and create 3-D art, and within five years I became a professional visual artist, what stopped me from doing this before, in the more than 20 years I ran after artists to create my designs and stage sets because I was convinced I could not do them?

What I believed to be an “objective” limitation, a circumstance that defined my life, was nothing but an internal limitation, a learned belief that I carried in my subconscious mind. This is how hidden interference limits our talents, steal our dreams and lead us into a life and work design that betrays our true nature.

The root of all obstacles is within you, as is the power to create your world

I did not know then what I know now: your desires are the expression of your buried talents. When you long with all your Soul to do something, it is because it is IN you, no matter what others say. It is a power and talent pulsating inside you, something that you MUST do because your Soul needs to fulfill this path. This longing is your Soul’s purpose stirring inside you. Nothing can stop this force. Not “what they say.” Not lack of skills or resources. Not any obstacle on your way. Nothing. The only one stopping your power is YOU!

Inside you there is a great leader, a wise expert and gorgeous diva. She is waiting for you to remove the limited beliefs and secret mantras that run through your mind, hiding her from your own view. You can feel her pulsating in your heart. That’s why you feel a spiritual restlessness that pushes you to change.

You try to free this awesome force within you, but the hidden interference you subconsciously carry shuts down the pathways of your mind. When this happens…

  • You hold back.
  • You conform, betraying your Unique Essence or cutting-off some part of yourself to fit others’ formulas or expectations.
  • Doubt makes you stumble instead of leap.
  • Instead of moving forward, you dive back in, trying to “fix” it, to “improve” yourself, succumbing to your perfectionist and missing the opportunity.
  • You sacrifice your dream, stealing from yourself to give to others, whether it is time, attention, energy or your personal truth that you steal.
  • Your fear-based emotions escalate and you fall back into your Comfort Zone.
  • You hit a wall and go around in circles.

I can help you break free

from the pull that holds you back.

Click here to go to the

VIRTUAL TOUR

Are you ready for my personal mentorship to design the life/work of your dreams? Click to read more.

I can help you break freefrom the limitations you suffer.

They are illusions projected by your ego mind.

Burst those bubbles and see your life change!

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who helps you to break through the hidden interference to your success, to unleash your Greatness and manifest the life of your dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express. Read more about mentoring personally with Maria Mar at http://www.dreamalchemist.com

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How do you release limiting beliefs?


LifeBytes

Chunks of life at byte size. Easier to digest!

By the Dream Alchemist

LifeBytes are the cyber-version of  LifeBites On Stage.

QUESTION

How did you
release your limiting self beliefs?

Dalla

ANSWER

“Power is hard work.”

Those were thewords of my spiritual guides when they invited me into the Path of Freedom. This path lead to freedom from hundreds of past limiting beliefs. It freed my vast creative potential so that I AM my dream. By me walking this path, I am able to break things down for you, making it easier and faster. Here’s the short version.

Limiting beliefs are lies that at one point were sold to you (or you bought) as true.

They get solidify into a Reality Map. A Reality Map is a mental construct in your mind that is “fenced-in.” Anything fenced-in dislodges its opposite or its alternative. For example, if you create a Reality Map labeled “people are not to be trusted,” then you fence it in or embed it into your mind. It will automatically fence out or exclude the belief “I can find a trusting friend.” There are 16 building blocks that act to solidify or embed limiting beliefs in your mind. Using them in reverse can break these limiting beliefs.

See Expanded Lesson

Building Blocks

Limiting Beliefs or Reality Maps are solidify or embedded by the following forces or behavior:

  1. Childhood Trauma or Emotional Trauma

  2. Domestication Trance (consensus
    training during childhood)

  3. Environmental or Social reinforcement

  4. Absence of referential alternatives

  5. Fear or survival emotions

  6. Blame, guilt or toxic shame

  7. Attachment or identification

  8. Repetition

  9. Attention

  10. Renewal

  11. Emotional fuel

  12. Choices

  13. Denial

  14. Avoidance

  15. Rewards

  16. Love/hate connection

You can use these same building blocks to break down your limiting beliefs. But first, you need to find out the original belief. You cannot change what you do not see or accept. Once you do your tracking down and find out what is the source of your belief and how it was formed, you can then dissolve it.

Understand that limiting beliefs are created via intensity (in the case of a one-time trauma) or repetition and reinforcement. Don’t expect them to be dissolved overnight. You need the same repetition and reinforcement to break them down.

Some building blocks need to be reversed in order to break down a belief. For example, the building blocks of Attention, Denial and Attachment would become Release, Acceptance and Detachment. These attitudes would dislodge the embedded belief and eventually dissolve it.

You also need to reverse the building block Absence of Referential Alternatives. This is important because if you just keep hammering on the limiting belief, even if it’s to break it down, you are still enforcing it by giving it attention. Therefore, you need to reach out into the alternatives that have been fenced out or excluded in your mind and life by the false beliefs. You need to seek, discover, explore and embrace alternatives that are congruent with your desires and free choice. Then you
can solidify these alternatives using the 16 building blocks.

So now you know. Power is hard work, but it works! It’s worth every drop of sweat, every minute and every penny you invest in it. Why? Because it frees up your power to break free from the past and create the life you want .

Light and love

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist


http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com

Resources:

Tool:

Break Free from what Holds you Back

This package contains the guided experience and tools you need to break from limiting beliefs.

Women’s History Month Special!

Event:

Break Free from what Holds you Back

This event reveals more information about how limiting beliefs are created, about the fences in your mind and how to break them down.


Organizations, corporations or venues interested in my LifeBites ON
Stage, click below for more information.


Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.

If you receive this in an email, click here to leave your comment.

___________________________________________

TWEET THIS!

Recommend this blog post in a tweet, by clicking below.

Click Here.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch
the Dream Express.

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Art, Poem and invitation to Celebrate Women’s History Month 2010

Cannot see the graphics? See web version
A poem, art and invitation to celebrate the closure of


Women’s History Month

Click to read about the event.

Art by Maria Mar(c)2010



Discover your Untapped Possibilities


Break the Fences in your Mind

No. 1 of the Break Free from What Holds you Back


Online Event Series


with Maria Mar


FOR WOMEN ONLY


Endless Possibilities

They rush by at the speed of light.
Invisible. Inaudible. A flash. Almost a memory.

And they are gone.


I could not see them before.

They were like crazy cars bumping against my choices.
Derailing my desires.

But I neither heard nor saw them,

though they were jamming the pathways of my mind.


There were other forces

in that secluded mindscape.

They sat there, like fences.

Doing nothing but blocking the view.

I did not see those either.


They showed up, however.

When I tried to see the beauty just beyond my reach.

The colors of a landscape

for which my Soul longed so much it hurt.


The crazy cars and the fences

kept my mind racing inside stagnation,

while I drove my will like a madwoman,

trying to get somewhere in a hurry.

My eyes were fixed on the horizon.

But the forces inside pulled me back.

Back to 0. Back to the same old place.


Until I turned my eyes inwards.

Until I Remembered.

I saw the speeding thoughts

racing through my mind,

flashes, remnants of childhood notions.

“So these are the crazy cars!”

So silly.
Full of long-ago thoughts

and buried fears.
Garbage.

I could have laughed, but didn’t.

How could this speeding garbage keep me in a frenzy?

“It has nothing to do with me,” I said.


Then I saw the fences.
They turned my mind into a labyrinth.

So much of what I wanted, what I was,

fenced out by habits.

Old routes I walked with raggedy shoes,

my big toe showing.

Tiny shoes no longer fitting my stature.

Narrow routes

where my habitual discomfort kept me walking.

Once you see them, they can no longer hide.
Once you touch them,

you can let them go.


Once the Inscape is reachable

the landscape can transform.


Walk with me into endless possibilities.


By Maria Mar(c)2010

I invite you to enter the mysterious regions of your mind to uncover the “Mind Fences” that may be blocking your sight to the great possibilities life offers you every day. I will be offering a multi-media event with art, audio-visual tools and dialogue. As an artist-shaman, I live my life in a laboratory of transformation to discover the powers, tools and insights that can help you manifest the life your soul desires. Join me in this online event where I will share what I have discovered about the “Fences in Your Mind” and how you can break them down to tap into endless possibilities.

Maria Mar

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

Reserve your seat here

READ MORE

Event information

  • Why am I not manifesting that job?
  • Why can’t I get rid of this condition?
  • What else do I have to do?
  • How long will it take?
  • Nothing I do works!
  • Why am I procrastinating?
  • I keep affirming and shifting, but I keep bumping into
    the same problems.

If you’ve heard yourself saying this more than once, join us in an in-depth exploration to discover the “Fences in your Mind.”

You will find out:

  • What old thoughts, beliefs and emotions are “fenced in”–embedded in your subconscious, working underground to create the same old results or sabotage the results you want.

  • How do your new desires and goals are “fenced out”–blocked from your subconscious, so that you are creating stress in your attempts to manifest while wasting precious energy in an Inner War.

  • What simple things you can do to see and break the
    “Fences in your Mind.”

  • How life gives you all the help you need to break free,
    if you only know how and where to look.

Event information


What:
Online multi-media teleseminar and
dialogue


When: Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Where: Online at Maria Mar’s Cyber
Studio (Access information will be sent when you subscribe.)


Time: 9PM EST/ 6PM Pacific/8PM Central
(USA)


How: We will talk through teleconference
while sharing an audio-visual presentation. You can also chat.

A Question and Answer Section will be included.


If you are in USA or PR, you can call from your cell phone or land phone.


If you are out of the USA, you can try Skype-to-land-line calling, though sometimes it messes up. You can also chat through the visual component.


You need to be close to a computer with internet access to see the visual component.


Why? Conclude this year’s Women’s History Month by accessing the hidden Personal History that is keeping you trapped in an unwanted past. Break free from what holds you back!


Who?
Women. Bring up to 5 girlfriends!

Sorry, Guys. This particular event is for women only.

(Pass it on as a gift to your female friends.)


Reserve your seat here

If you register and  miss the event, you will be sent a Link to hear
the recording.


Share this post
with your friends

through email
or social media.

Click the button below.


Bookmark and Share

______________________________
Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.

If you receive this in an email, click here to leave your comment.

________________________________________________
TWEET THIS!
Recommend this blog post in a tweet, by clicking below.

Click Here.

_________________________
About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known shaman who inspires women to manifest the life of their dreams. She offers books, digital products and coaching, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

Relationships and Prosperity

Relationships and Prosperity

By Maria Mar(c)

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships.

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships.

Prosperity is deeply connected to relationships because wealth is created as the result of an exchange between people.

What did you learn to expect from strangers? Do you expect others to value you, to remunerate you justly and joyfully, and to trust you?

Or did you learn to expect betrayal, to be cheated or undervalued? Do you expect others to receive you or to reject you?

Carefully examine your expectations about relationships, and you will find the core of your issues with prosperity.

Shifting Beliefs

Here’s a journal writing exercise to help you. Print it and paste the copy in your journal, for easy following.

STEP 1: PREPARATION
Begin with sitting comfortably, your journal and pen in front of you. Breathe deeply and slowly, allowing the air to travel deep into your trunk, all the way down to your lower belly, and exhale as slowly as possible. Do this five times, each time releasing stress from your shoulders, back and face.

STEP 2: INTENTION
Say these words inwardly in your last inhalation, paying attention to each one. Then say them out loud in exhalation, again listening to the sound attentively.

“I welcome the truth of my emotions as guides to my freedom and prosperity. I intend to create new, free ways of connecting to others in the streams of affluence of life.”

STEP 3: EXPECTATIONS
Keep breathing slowly and deeply, allowing the breath to connect you to your body and feelings, as you answer the questions below.

“What do I expect from people, especially those who don’t know me?”

Make a list of a minimum of two and a maximum of five items. Keep the answers short and to the point. Leave ten spaces between each item.

EXAMPLES:

  • I expect people to judge me.
  • I expect people to see my flaws and find me deficient.
  • I expect potential clients to find my prices too high.
  • I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.

STEP 4: BELIEFS

Come back to each item.  In breath, ask the second question.

“What belief creates this expectation?”

Write the answer below each item. Again, try to define the belief as simply and exactly as possible.

EXAMPLES:

  • Expectation: I expect people to judge me.
  • Belief: I am guilty of something bad and people will find me out.
  • Expectation: I expect people to see my flaws and find me deficient.
  • Belief: I am not good enough to be loved.
  • Expectation: I expect potential clients to find my prices too high.
  • Belief: People do not appreciate my true value.
  • Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
  • Belief: I am not that special.

STEP 5: INHERITANCE

Breathing deeply and slowly, go back to each item and track down from whom and how did you learn this. It may be a family belief that has been passed on through generations verbally or non-verbally. It may be a class, race or cultural belief. It may also be a conclusion you made as a child observing your circumstances. Define the source of each expectation/belief without either blaming or excusing those involved, including you. Skip a line, and place your discovery on the third line below each item, like this:

  • Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
  • Belief: I am not that special.
  • Source: My mom always said “Who do you think you are? You are not that special?” She meant to say that I was not above others, but there was also a hidden message that I did not deserve better than others. In my Inner Child’s heart, this voice resonates as “You are not that special.”

STEP 6: ACTIONS

Go back again to each item and recall one habitual action that you do in relationships that responds directly to this belief. Remember to breathe deeply and slowly and honor your emotions. Write the action in the fourth line under the item.

  • Expectation:I expect people in network events not to be interested in me and to forget me.
  • Belief: I am not that special.
  • Source: My mom always said “Who do you think you are? You are not that special?” She meant to say that I was not above others, but there was also a hidden message that I did not deserve better than others. In my Inner Child’s heart, this voice resonates as “You are not that special.”
  • Action: I forget to bring my business cards and I am always apologizing for not having them, that way I have an excuse for why they won’t call me.

STEP 7: FREE CHOICE

Examine the belief and decide whether you are ready and willing to release it.

Once you make the choice, close your eyes. Shift your perception of yourself to your Sacred Self, who is larger than your physical or ego self, and who is one with God.  See that small self with compassion and love. Allow a smile to come from within, as you realize the childlike mistake of these beliefs. From that place, inhale forgiveness and exhale release. Do these three times.

  • Inhale as you wrap yourself in forgiveness.
  • Exhale as you release the old beliefs.

STEP 8: NEW BELIEFS

write down a new belief to substitute each old belief. Skip a line. Write in caps the title “NEW BELIEF” and then write the new belief

It is a fact that there is no other human being like me. My fingerprints are unique. My DNA is unique. My personal history is unique and I am a unique, special and wonderful expression of divinity.

STEP 9: CONSCIOUS LIVING

During the next 30 days, observe yourself in relationships. Catch yourself doing the old actions and methodically shift to the new actions that reflect and nurture your new beliefs.

Remember that these beliefs were implanted in you very early on, when you did not have the experience or ability to discern. They have been embedded through years of practice. Be compassionate with yourself when you respond from the old beliefs, and kindly, but firmly repeat your new belief to yourself and keep choosing the new actions.

Celebrate when you respond from your new beliefs. Your subconscious is like a child. It responds to positive feedback. Focus on the times you do it right and never judge or belittle yourself when you respond from the old beliefs.

Your evolution is not a project. It is process. Patience with yourself nurtures your self-love.

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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The Real Tragedy of Drama Queens

The real tragedy of Drama Queens

By Maria Mar(c)

When you are trapped in your habitual Soap Opera Dramas, you are self-involved to the point that you miss sight of three vital things: your surroundings, other people and your goals. Here is the real tragedy of the Drama Queen.

1. She wastes precious emotional fuel going around in circles.

2. She wastes time and resources going around in circles.

3. She alienates allies, healthy peers and healthy partners with her self-involved, ineffective and habitual dysfunctional scripts.

4. She leaks prosperity, loses clients and wastes money.

5. She adopts the pose of an ineffective, disorganized and unprofessional woman.

6. She fails to see how she is creating stress in those around her.

7. She misrepresents her business or capacity and creates situations where she will not be promoted or hired.

8. She dumps her toxic drama on her loved ones and creates terrible stress on her family, especially her partner and children.

9. She repels her children and partner, who need to move away from her in order to grow and function healthily.

10. She uses her drama to manipulate others, as an ineffective attempt to control the situation and to beg for attention.

11. She uses her power to sabotage her dream as she runs hysterically on the same spot, until she digs her own grave.

12. Because she creates high levels of stress that lead to hypertension, heart attack, muscle spasms, anxiety attacks, stomach trouble, ulcers, brain tumors, cancer, strokes and more. Make your choice.

Would you rather be a Drama Queen or act as the genuine, powerful Queen of your own life and Dream?

SOLUTION:

If you choose to be the real queen, here is one quick, easy way to stop your Drama before it catches momentum.

The minute you see yourself spinning into your Drama, say out loud to yourself: “STOP!”

Then breathe deeply and slowly. As you exhale, say firmly and clearly, without drama: “There is no drama. I am clear and there is no problem.”

As soon as you regain your center, become aware of how you have lost your compass.

  1. See how you are affecting those around you,
  2. See how you have deviated from your goal, and
  3. See how you are creating chaos or anxiety in your situation.

Now proceed to calmly re-focus on your goal or the solution of the problem, sustaining a centered, calming mood and consciously spreading it around.

EXAMPLE:
Let’s say that your usual drama is losing the car keys before going out.You enter a frenzy and send everyone spinning for the keys, just to find them 20 minutes later where you have left them misplaced the night before.

The minute you see yourself spinning that drama, say “STOP” to yourself, energetically and firmly (without involving others in the drama).

Then breathe deeply and slowly. As you exhale, say to yourself: “There is no drama. I am clear and there is no problem.”

Observe how you have lost your compass: Perhaps your family is already tense at the prospect of yet another crazy moment before going out and the anticipation of being late to their appointments. Perhaps by getting into this anxiety rollercoaster, you are neglecting to check that you have what you need for today’s presentation, so that you will sabotage yourself getting there late and unprepared. Perhaps you are creating chaos and stress in your daily life by all these little dramas. RELEASE that choice and embrace Inner Peace.

Now proceed to calmly retrace your steps the last time you place your keys when you got home.

I hope this helps you!

Stop by and leave your comments as things begin to change and you occupy the throne of your true queendom!

Maria Mar(c) You can use this quote as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express at http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com!